


We can solve this together

by softshumjr



Series: We can solve this together Universe [1]
Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Blood, Blow Jobs, F/F, F/M, First Time, Friends to Lovers, Grinding, Hand Jobs, Happy Ending, M/M, Mutual Pining, Neck Kissing, Panic Attacks, Rated E for later chapters, Rimming, Sappy Ending, also some smut as well, background clace, background lyzzy, background saphael, detective!alec, fluffiest fluff to ever fluff, they have no idea what the other one feels, totally oblivious, with a hint of drama here and there
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-03
Updated: 2017-07-17
Packaged: 2018-08-12 18:46:16
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 15
Words: 90,189
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7945240
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/softshumjr/pseuds/softshumjr
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Alec and Magnus have been friends since high school. They both love each other but are afraid to say anything because they believe the other one doesn't feel the same way and it'll ruin their friendship.<br/>Alec and Jace are working on an overdose case and are stuck. Can Magnus be the one to help them solve the case?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Aspirin saves lives

**Author's Note:**

> this is my first fic in this fandom so i'm actually kinda scared to post it but hey, sometimes you gotta take some risks ^_^
> 
> so i'm totally malec trash and i've been thinking about writing something for a while now and this fic will, hopefully, be the result.  
> i'd be very grateful for your opinions or tips :)
> 
> this is just a short one to actually start the story. i will try to make them longer.  
> i'm gonna switch POVs from Magnus to Alec each chapter so i could show you what they're both thinking, not just one of them.  
> thanks for reading :)
> 
> you can find me on tumblr [@harryshmjr](http://harryshmjr.tumblr.com)

What was that horrible noise? Who dared disturb his sleep? And more importantly, why was his head trying to kill him? Magnus slowly opened his eyes and realised there was knocking on his door.

“Whoever you are, I don’t care. Go away!” he shouted and immediately regretted this decision because it felt like his head was about to explode.

Magnus was very thirsty but at the same time he just wanted to go back to sleep. He buried himself in his bed sheets and closed his eyes. If he could fall asleep fast enough, maybe it wouldn’t matter that he wanted to drink a whole lake at this point.

“Good morning, Magnus. Or maybe I should say good afternoon,” he heard Alec’s calming voice and smiled without even thinking about it.

“My dear Alexander, why would you be so cruel and knock on my door when you have the key?” Magnus said with his eyes still closed. Those bed sheets were so comfortable and right now he needed all the comfort he could get.

There was a couple of seconds of silence but then Alec cleared his throat. “I managed to finish up work faster today so I could check on you. I brought you some coffee and blueberry muffins,” he said. “I thought you might need them.”

That actually sounded like a good idea to drink some coffee and eat his favourite muffins. Magnus opened his eyes reluctantly and managed to sit down. His head felt extremely dizzy, he probably drank a bit too much last night. But it was his club’s first birthday so of course he had to celebrate like a proper club owner. Pandemonium was his baby, right after Chairman Meow obviously. Chairman would probably scratch him to death if Magnus even thought that Pandemonium was more important. That cat just always knew. Always had to be the centre of everyone’s attention and Magnus loved him so much.

“Hello, Alexander,” Magnus smiled. His hair was down and his makeup was probably completely smudged, he must’ve looked like a panda. But he didn’t care. It was Alec. His best friend. And the guy he was totally in love for last two years now. Not that he would ever admit that to anyone. The only person who knew was Raphael. But this guy somehow figured it out on his own? Magnus had absolutely no idea how it happened but Raphael was like his brother and he knew how to keep secrets. Even if he was always teasing Magnus and telling him that he should finally do something about his feelings because Magnus was just being annoying and he couldn’t keep listening about the perfect Alec. But Magnus couldn’t do that. Alec’s friendship was everything to him and if he said something, it could be ruined forever. And Magnus couldn’t imagine his life without Alec. So he kept his secret hidden. For two years. At first he thought that he could deal with those feelings but very soon he realised that they were only getting stronger. 

“Come to the kitchen. You probably don’t wanna find crumbs in your bed till next month,” Alec said and Magnus noticed that he was leaning against the wall. Alec had his favourite leather jacket on, a black T-shirt and black jeans. Magnus was always trying to make him wear other colours but he wasn’t very successful. And such an outfit was actually quite common among police detectives. Something about the ability to blend in when you were trying to catch the bad guys.

“You’re such a buzzkill, darling.” Magnus pouted but Alec only chuckled. “Anyway, I can’t exactly do that right now. You see, I came back quite late from Pandemonium and well, I was rather tired and looking for my pyjamas wasn’t exactly my priority,” he said and raised his left eyebrow.

Alec’s face immediately went red. “Oh, right, yeah. I-I’m gonna leave you to it then,” he said quickly and stormed out of Magnus’ bedroom. 

Magnus was still very tired and extremely hangover so he didn’t bother to choose anything nice. Style was a very important part of his life but not when the only thing he could think about was his headache and thirst. He opened his drawers and the first thing he could see was Alec’s black T-shirt. How was it even in his drawer? But it didn’t matter right now. He took it out, as well as his underwear and some old jeans which he would never wear outside of his own loft but they were so comfy. He quickly went to the bathroom, brushed his teeth, took of the rest of makeup and put on his clothes. Then he went straight to the kitchen.

Alec was sitting at the breakfast bar and was scrolling through his phone. Magnus leaned against the wall in silence to admire this handsome man who was sitting in his kitchen. The man who came back from work just to bring him breakfast. 

But he had to remind himself that that was exactly what friends did for each other. It was not the first time when Alec was saving him from the horrible side effects of partying. 

He sat at the opposite of Alec who immediately put his phone at the counter and smiled at Magnus. “Here’s some aspirin, your head must be killing you from what I gathered.”

“Why yes, you are a great detective indeed,” he swallowed the pill and drank a whole glass of water. He really was thirsty. 

“Listen, Magnus. I’m really sorry I couldn’t go to your party. I feel really bad but this case we’re working on... it takes forever and we’re not really moving forward. And the captain is really pushing us cause you know... The victim was the daughter of the mayor’s friend.” Alec looked down at his hands.

The captain... That’s the only name that Alec would use to describe his mother. They haven’t talked in 5 years, ever since he came out. Maryse couldn’t accept Alec’s ‘lifestyle’ and she refused to acknowledge his sexuality. She stopped talking to him. But she couldn’t fire him because that wouldn’t be good for the department. Firstly, the press would eat her alive if they knew the reason was Alec’s sexuality and secondly, Alec was the best detective in the whole city. Which was exactly why Magnus could never understand why Alec didn’t want to find a job somewhere else, everyone would love to have him on their team. But Alec would always say he didn’t want to leave his partner, and adoptive brother, Jace alone so Magnus stopped trying to change his mind.

“Alexander, I told you already like a million times. You don’t have to apologise for your job, I understand that it’s very important,” Magnus said.

“I know, but it was your club’s first birthday and it was important to you and-“

“It’s okay, honestly.” Magnus grabbed Alec’s hand. “It was just a party. A great one, so you kinda missed out,” he winked, “but just a party. And it’s not like it was the only birthday party. I intend my club to be amazing forever,” he said with a smile.

Alec visibly relaxed and pushed a cup of coffee in Magnus’ direction. Next he opened the paper bag with muffins. The smell of blueberries filled his whole kitchen.

“So tell me about the party,’ Alec said and took a sip of his black coffee. He never used any milk or sugar. Magnus could never drink anything like that but he noticed that everyone at Alec’s work was drinking such a horrendous beverage. They were basically living on caffeine.

“Ah, it was absolutely fabulous. I must say, everything went really great. People were enjoying themselves on the floor and they left a small fortune at the bars,” Magnus chuckled.

“And have you- have you met anyone?” Alec asked shyly.

“I actually have.” Magnus smiled. “Your beautiful sister Isabelle brought a friend. Her name is Lydia. A really beautiful woman. Her hair was just astonishing.”

Alec dropped down his head but two seconds later he was drinking his coffee again. Magnus didn’t know what to think about it so he just sipped on his vanilla latte, closed his eyes and let the warmth go through his body. Then he grabbed one of the muffins.

“Alexander, you should really eat something. If I know you, you haven’t eaten anything today, hm?” Magnus said and raised his eyebrow.

“No, I haven’t really had the time... This case... I’m telling you, we seriously need a breakthrough or they may actually lynch us.”

“I’m sure you and Jace will figure this out. They couldn’t ask for better people to find this drug dealer. And anyway, the girl survived and that’s what really matters. You will find the guy soon enough and he’ll pay for what he did to her and probably many others who are not so fortunate to know the mayor.”

Alec only nodded and started eating.

Jace was a great detective. Very determined and very fast. He and Alec made a good team and they could always somehow figure out even the most complicated or hopeless cases. Magnus was always very impressed with their work. 

At first Magnus wasn’t exactly a fan of Jace because Jace would always comment on his outfits or that he was wearing makeup and lots of jewellery. But it was high school and people can be very immature at that age. But with time they became relatively good friends. Especially that Magnus and Alec became best friends instantly so with Alec came Jace, Izzy and Max. 

He adored the Lightwood family. Well, at least the siblings. Maryse was always looking at him like his outfit was deeply offending her and Robert was this quiet man who was afraid to speak his mind in front of his wife. Alec tried to keep in touch with his dad but they were both very busy and didn’t spend much time together ever since Alec moved out. The only times they saw each other were when he was coming to pick Max up. His younger brother was visiting his siblings quite often since he was the only one still living with his parents.

Magnus looked at Alec and he could see how much his best friend was stressed out about the case. Obviously his mother pushing him wasn’t exactly helping him. Her words could always find a way to hurt her son. Ever since he was a little kid. But she never treated him like a little kid. When Izzy was born, their parents focused all of their free time on a new baby. And when he was 5 and Izzy was 4, he was supposed to take care of her. At that time Maryse was working nonstop. She was determined to become the captain and boss of everyone and Robert was a chef at a 5-star restaurant. So Alec had to become ‘the responsible one’ very fast. Every time Magnus thought about baby Alexander who had to take care of a child when he himself was a child, his heart would break just a little more.

Alec loved his siblings very deeply and he would do anything for them. It didn’t matter to him that their parents always preferred them, even Jace who came to their lives much later. But his siblings were the ones who always had his back. He was scared and vulnerable when he came out and his mother basically disowned him. But his siblings told him they loved him and they already suspected it anyway and that he was still their brother, nothing changed. 

Magnus’ phone started ringing and he was forced to stop thinking about his best friend’s family.

“Hello, biscuit. To what do I owe the pleasure?” he answered his phone.

“Hi, Magnus. I can see you’re feeling much better than I am,” she said with a groan.

“Trust me, I wasn’t. But dear Alexander came with some coffee and blueberry muffins. And aspirin saves lives, so there’s that,” he chuckled and looked at Alec who got interested in his conversation with Clary.

“Lucky you, there’s nobody who could bring me any coffee.” Magnus could hear her yawn. “Anyway, I’m calling to say that me and Izzy are okay. Well, mostly. I think you asked me to call you when we wake up,” she said. “Although, I could be imagining that. I did drink quite a lot last night,” she added.

Magnus just laughed at that. “Thank you for letting me know that two of my favourite girls have survived my party. Take some aspirin, drink lots of water. You’ll feel better.” Magnus advised.

“Thanks, I guess. Remind me not to drink so much next time. Bye, Magnus.”

“Goodbye, biscuit,” he replied and ended the call.

He put his phone at the counter, next to Alec’s and took his coffee to finish it up. Alec was looking at him as if he was studying his face. Magnus felt a bit naked since he didn’t have any makeup on and he didn’t bother to do anything to actually fix his hair.

“Wanna watch some TV?” he asked Alec.

They went to the living room, Alec sit down and Magnus lied down and put his head on Alec’s lap. Alec immediately started touching Magnus’ hair without much of a thought. It was like their tradition, they always watched TV in this position. 

Magnus wasn’t paying attention to what was on. He still wasn’t feeling great, although much better than when he woke up. But he enjoyed those lazy moments with Alec. Even those soft touches meant everything to him. He could almost pretend like they were a real couple. And then he would have to reprimand himself for giving himself false hope. 

He closed his eyes and drifted away.


	2. Why are you sleeping at the breakfast bar?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter is a bit over 5k so i hope you'll enjoy it :)  
> as i said before, i'm gonna switch POVs so this one is from Alec's pov
> 
> thank you so much for your comments and kudos, they mean the world to me <3
> 
> you can find me on tumblr [@harryshmjr](http://harryshmjr.tumblr.com)

Alec woke up and quickly realised that he’s not lying in his bed but rather sitting. And there was something lying in his lap. The second thing he realised was his headache. Another one. He supposed he shouldn’t really be surprised anymore, he was waking up with one for over a week now. He wasn’t sleeping much because of the case and the Captain was always complaining that this had to be solved as soon as possible because the mayor was insisting and it was essential to keep him happy. It was like nothing else mattered, Alec was sick of it. But he was allowing his mother to keep pushing him and Jace as he felt this kind of responsibility for the girl. Susan was 17. Just like Max. And it was her first party ever and she didn’t know what she was doing. And she almost paid with her life for this. Kids should be safe when they go out with their friends. So Alec knew he had to find that drug dealer, who knows if the next victim would survive.

He opened his eyes and looked down. It was Magnus’ head in his lap, he was sleeping like a child. Now he remembered where he was and why he was here. He smiled involuntarily. They must have fallen asleep while watching TV. Magnus looked so innocent when he was sleeping. Every time he woke up with Magnus lying in his lap, he was falling in love with this man even further. Alec caressed his cheek carefully as he didn’t want to wake Magnus up. His face was so soft.

Alec didn’t understand why this beautiful man chose him as his friend in high school. Alec was the most boring person in the whole school. He never stood out and the only friends he had were his siblings. He didn’t really complain about this at the time, he was minding his business and everything was okay. And one day, a new kid showed up. Alec was in awe of him before he even got to know his name. The boy said his name was Magnus and he had just moved from Indonesia. Alec had never seen a guy who would wear makeup or so much jewellery and yet looked so astonishing. Then Magnus said a few words about what he liked and that New York completely fascinated him. 

Mrs. Novak told him to sit right next to Alec since it was the only available place and he knew he was absolutely lost when Magnus smiled at him. Very soon they became inseparable. 

It wasn’t until later when Alec got to know that this cheerful boy had been through so much during his life. Magnus moved from Indonesia with his abusive step father after his mother died. Magnus was afraid to say anything because his step father could be very aggressive. In that moment Alec decided that he would do anything to protect him. He would invite Magnus over as often as he could so he wouldn’t have to spend so much time at home. Luckily for Magnus, his step father passed away when he was 18. Magnus was struggling financially at first but he was a brilliant student and received a full scholarship to a university. After that life seemed to finally be gracious to him and Alec couldn’t be happier. All he wanted for Magnus was to have a good life because nobody deserved it more than him.

Izzy and Magnus started getting along immediately. Jace didn’t like him at first and was making comments about Magnus’ look but it didn’t seem to bother Magnus in any way. So Jace got bored with teasing very soon and later he realised he was acting like an idiot. And when Max saw Magnus for the first time, he was observing him for a good minute, then he shrugged his shoulders and started showing him his new comic book.

It didn’t go that well with Alec's parents but it didn’t really matter at that point. He was falling for Magnus more and more with each moment that they shared together. Not that he would admit that to anyone. Not even to himself. It took him a long time to finally admit to himself that he was gay. It took him even longer to admit that to other people.

Alec found his strength thanks to Magnus who was very open about being bisexual from the very beginning. Alec was scared that if people knew he wasn’t straight, they would think he was weak or that it would be the only thing that people would associate with him. But Magnus showed him that sexuality never defined anyone.

So finally, 5 years ago, he decided to come out and he received support from everyone. Well, everyone who actually mattered in his life. It wasn't like he thought his parents would be proud of him. They never were. But he wasn’t living with them anymore so they couldn’t do much. Of course they said he had disappointed them and that he should’ve thought about his family and that he should’ve basically changed his ‘lifestyle’ as his mother used to say. Clearly this concept was too hard for her to understand so he didn’t even try to explain himself to her. He shouldn’t have to. After a whole month of arguing they stopped talking. Alec stayed at his mother’s department so she was his boss but they talked only about the cases that he and Jace were solving at that point or the new ones that Maryse was about to assign to them.

 

He was staring at Magnus and realised that he missed Chairman a lot. Magnus was very busy with organising birthday party so last week he sent his cat to an animal hotel where he would receive the royal treatment that he deserved, as Magnus put it. He wanted to offer that he could take care of Chairman but recently he was barely at home so that would be pointless. 

So Alec offered to go with Magnus tomorrow morning and bring Chairman back.

It was barely 11 pm. It had been only about 2 hours since they fell asleep. He wasn’t even surprised, he couldn’t remember the last time he slept the whole night. Jace forced him to go home and get some rest so they could start working the next day but this case was always on his mind these days. He even missed Magnus’ party because of it and he still felt guilty about it. Even though Magnus said it was okay. But it wasn’t. He should’ve been there to support him. Another thing that he wasn’t able to do for his friend...

Alec didn’t party too much but watching Magnus in his club brought him a lot of joy. Magnus took a lot of pride in his club and every single employee or thing were carefully selected. Nothing was random. So if he had to listen to loud music for couple of hours to see Magnus being happy, then he could totally do it.

And the other thing about being at Magnus’ club was that he could admire the view. Magnus could really move. He was a dancer back in Indonesia but when he came to the States, he decided that he didn’t want to go pro. Still, he was always dancing in his free time. Magnus wasn’t really thinking about it, he was just moving to the rhythm of music and Alec was hypnotised by it. The way his hips were swaying... Izzy caught him way too many times staring at Magnus’ ass. She would always smirk because of that. Izzy was the first one who figured out that he was attracted to Magnus. She said that Magnus definitely felt the same way about him but Alec never believed her. It was obvious the only reason she said so was because she was his sister and she wanted the best for him. He loved her for it.

 

Alec heard his phone vibrating. He carefully tried to stand up without waking Magnus up. Somehow he managed to do that and put a pillow under his head. Magnus hugged the pillow and Alec had to smile at how adorable he looked.

He went to the bathroom to answer his phone.

“Hey, Jace. What is it? Anything new about the case?” he asked.

“No, nothing new. I was reading the file for like a millionth time and I needed a break. What are you doing?” Jace said and Alec heard he was yawning.

“I’m at Magnus’. We were watching TV and I kinda drifted away. I’ve just woken up and now my head is about to explode.” Alec groaned and started rubbing his temple.

“When was the last time you actually slept for more than 4 hours?” There was concern in Jace’s voice. “You can’t do that to yourself.”

“I’ll sleep when we’ll finally catch this bastard.”

“You do realise that it may take a while, right? We have no new leads. And the description of that dude that the victim gave didn’t exactly help us so far. So we’re screwed. And you need to sleep. I mean it.”

“Okay, okay. I’ll try. You should probably get some sleep as well. Mother wouldn’t want anything to happen to you.” Alec said and winced.

“Alec...” Jace started.

“No, it’s fine. And about that description... She gave lots of details so I guess we just need some luck. Anyway, I gotta go. We’ll see each other tomorrow. Maybe we’ll go around some clubs? I mean, if he’s targeting young, rich kids then it kinda limits his options. We’ll find him eventually.”

“I don’t know, we’ve been trying to find him for a month now. But fine, see ya, bro.”

“Later,” and he hang up.

Alec turned the tap on and washed his face with cold water. He looked at his reflection in a mirror and groaned. He never liked looking at himself. He couldn’t really pinpoint what exactly he hated about his reflection. He knew that he wasn’t ugly or anything but when he looked at himself for more than three seconds, he felt like this huge failure was staring back at him.

He went straight to the kitchen and swallowed an aspirin, hoping that it could help with the headache. It was only a temporary fix, he couldn’t survive on caffeine and painkillers for long. But it would have to work for now.

Magnus was still sleeping and Alec wasn’t sure what to do. It was kind of pointless to go back to his flat if they were going to go to the animal hotel to bring Chairman home. He didn’t want to bother Magnus as he was sleeping like a child. He was also lying on the whole couch now so Alec couldn’t go back there. He sat down at the breakfast bar and tried to fall asleep.

 

Alec felt a delicate touch on his shoulder. “Magnus?” he said in a sleepy voice.

“Alexander, why are you sleeping at the breakfast bar?” Magnus said and smiled. “Why didn’t you wake me up?”

“It’s fine. It was kinda late and in the morning we’re going to get Chairman so I thought- And you were sleeping on the couch, I didn’t want to disturb you and-“

“My dear Alexander,” Magnus smiled. “You’re too pure for this world,” he touched his cheek.

Alec blushed at the praise. “Come, if I found one of your T-shirts in my drawers, I’m sure I’ll also find some of your sweatpants,” Magnus said and winked.

Alec followed Magnus to his bedroom. It wasn’t the first time he was there but every time was giving him goosebumps. After couple of minutes, Magnus indeed found one of Alec’s sweatpants. He must’ve left them here somehow. Maybe after one of those times when they were at the gym together? 

“So um, I-I’m gonna go crash at your couch, I’m actually super tired.” Alec said and rubbed his neck.

“What? Nonsense. I have a huge bed, you need to get rest. And if you sleep on that couch, you won’t be able to walk tomorrow. I slept there for only two hours and now everything hurts, you’re way too tall for it,” and he winked again.

Alec felt his face burning up and he was hoping that Magnus wouldn’t notice him blushing in the weak light. 

But Magnus winked at him. Twice. It wasn’t the first time he did that but every time Alec’s face was red. And now he told him to sleep in his bed. They had never done that before. When Magnus was visiting when they were kids, they were usually going for sleeping in sleeping bags. It seemed cooler at the time.

What if he did something to embarrass himself and Magnus wouldn't talk to him anymore? What if he did something that would make Magnus realise that he actually had feelings for him which could potentially end their friendship? No, Alec wasn’t ready for that.

“It’s okay. The couch in our office is much smaller and I slept there countless times,” he responded.

“Alexander, please don’t argue with me. I’m way too tired for that,” he said with a small smile. “You’re here because I’m dragging you to get my cat back. If it wasn’t for me, you’d be in your own bed. It’s the least I can do to say thank you.”

If he was home, he probably wouldn’t be sleeping anyway. But it wasn't like he could say that to Magnus. He didn’t want to worry him.

“Hey, you know I love that cat and I really miss him,” Alec said shyly.

“And I’m sure Chairman missed you more than he missed me. I’m actually quite jealous that my own cat loves you more than me,” he chuckled. “Okay, let’s go to bed.”

 

Alec couldn’t fall asleep. Magnus was right next to him and even though he was exhausted, his brain was fully awake. He could feel the warmth of Magnus’ body and all he wanted to do was wrap himself against him. He wanted to feel his warmth against his body. He sighed. Alec knew this wasn’t good. It was getting harder and harder to hide his feelings for Magnus but he had to. Magnus was too important for him and he never showed any interest in Alec, other than being his best friend. So that’s how it had to be. He had to pull himself together.

When he woke up, his arms were wrapped around Magnus’ body. How did he even fall asleep? He almost jumped out of the bed immediately but then cooled down because that would wake Magnus up for sure. He carefully unwrapped himself and laid on his back. He was breathing hard. Firstly, because he actually spent the night right next to Magnus and he woke up wrapped around the love of his life. And Magnus’ smell was intoxicating in that close vicinity. Alec looked at Magnus who slept only in his pyjama pants and he could see his bare chest. 

Alec was breathing hard before and now he seemed to lose the ability to breathe altogether. 

Magnus’ skin was always covered in glitter, even if he showered couple of times a day, there was always some of it left on his skin anyway. So now his skin was almost shining as the sunlight was creeping through the window. Alec shouldn’t look but he couldn’t stop. And then it happened... He should’ve known. He got hard. Of course he did. After all, it was Magnus and he was way too close. Alec was so embarrassed but he carefully got out of bed and went straight to the bathroom to take a very, very cold shower.

It took him quite a while too cool down. His imagination was showing him way too many beautiful images of Magnus and them together. He felt pathetic. His friend allowed him to sleep in his bed and he got hard. A perfect start of a day. 

After that, he showered quite quickly and brushed his teeth with one of Magnus’ backup toothbrushes. He put on his clothes from yesterday and came back to Magnus’ bedroom. And in that moment Magnus opened his eyes.

“Good morning, Alexander,” he said cheerfully.

“Hi, Magnus.” Alec responded with a smile.

“I can see you’re already up and ready,” he chuckled.

“Yeah, I- I woke up a while ago so just went to take a shower,” he rubbed his neck.

“Give me a second, darling, and I’ll be ready to go as well. I’m actually starving and the only food I have is Chairman’s food,” he winced. “So I’m afraid we’ll have to eat out.”

“That’s okay, really. Go now, Chairman is waiting for you.” Alec laughed.

When Magnus went to the bathroom, Alec sat down on the couch and started scrolling the news. It became one of his habits to see if there were any new victims of the drug dealer that they were trying to catch. He felt quite conflicted because on one side he didn’t want to see anyone else to become a victim but on the other side that could give him and Jace new leads. He would feel really bad about this but if they didn’t get any new leads, they wouldn’t be able to catch this guy. It was a fucked up situation.

He didn't find anything that would fit the description of their drug dealer which meant that today’s shift would probably be fruitless as well. He needed to finally solve this case or it would eat him up.

Thirty minutes later Magnus was done and he was looking amazing. He was wearing black skinny jeans, pink shirt and a black blazer. He put some eyeliner and probably some lip gloss because his lips were shining a little bit. He also decided on his favourite silver ear cuff and five different necklaces. Alec was speechless. It took him only half an hour to look so astonishing. Of course Magnus was always looking stunning to Alec. He didn’t know anything about fashion, even though Izzy was trying to show him new styles since they were kids. But every outfit Magnus pulled off was taking his breath away.

“You look amazing,” he managed to say.

“Thank you, my dear.” Magnus smiled. “Are you ready? Can we go?”

“Yes, we can.”

“Splendid.”

Magnus locked his loft and they went out of the building. They walked in silence for a while and went into Starbucks which was right around the corner.

They ordered their usual beverages and some sandwiches. They were very hungry because yesterday they only ate couple of blueberry muffins.

Alec looked at Magnus who was swallowing his sandwich at the speed of light and he laughed.

“Don’t mock me, Alexander. I’m a man who needs his food,” he tried to say seriously but laughed anyway. “Plus I really miss Chairman and I need him back so we should hurry up.”

Alec took out his phone and texted Izzy how she was doing. He knew all too well not to bother her after the party even with a text message. Hangover Izzy was to be feared.

After couple of seconds she was calling him.

“Hello, big brother. I am very well, thanks for asking,” she said in a cheerful voice. “And how about you? What are you doing?”

“I’m with Magnus, we’re going to get Chairman back,” he replied.

“Cool, say hi to him from me.”

“Magnus or Chairman?”

“Both, I suppose.” Izzy laughed. “Anyway, I’m not gonna disturb your date anymore.”

“It’s not a- Shut up, Izzy,” he was blushing again and Magnus was looking directly at him. Perfect. “I gotta go, you’re still coming for lunch, right?”

“Yep, I’ll be there, mi hermano. See ya.”

Alec put the phone in his pocket and looked at Magnus who was clearly very amused with the conversation he had with his sister.

“Izzy says hi,” he mumbled and Magnus only chuckled.

They finished their meals and went out to take a train. They were walking in silence. Magnus was holding the coffee in his hand and was sipping on it from time to time.

It took them 30 minutes to get to the animal hotel. It was a nice building. The inside was painted in beige colours and there were many paintings and posters of all kinds of animals. Alec had never been here before but Magnus seemed to know the lady at the front desk.

“Hello, Catarina,” he said with a smile. “I’ve come to pick up my baby,” he added.

“Hi, Magnus. Good to see you. Chairman is already waiting for you. I swear he somehow had known you were coming to pick him up today,” she said and raised her eyebrow.

“Yes, of course, he did. Chairman is a very smart cat.” Magnus told her proudly.

Alec was standing a bit behind Magnus. The woman called Catarina went in the back and a minute later she came back carrying Chairman. Alec smiled as soon as he saw him. Chairman was clearly enjoying being carried.

“Here you go,” she said and gave Magnus the cat.

“Good morning, Chairman. How are you?” Magnus asked and scratched him behind the ear and Chairman purred. “Yes, I’m terribly sorry I had to leave you here. But I can tell you had a great time, didn’t you?”

Alec was admiring this one way conversation. Magnus treated his cat like a member of a family. Magnus said he loved him from the moment he saw him. And Alec couldn't blame him. Chairman bought him as soon as Alec noticed him for the first time.

Suddenly, Chairman was reaching out in his direction. “Of course he missed you more than me,” Magnus said and pouted. “I told you.”

“That’s so not true and you know it,” Alec chuckled and took Chairman into his arms. “Hello, Chairman, I missed you too,” he started petting his back and the cat was purring contented.

 

Alec didn’t even realise how fast they got to Magnus’ loft. He handed the cat back to Magnus which Chairman seemed not to like at all.

“Looks like he enjoys being in your arms,” Magnus said. “Not that I could blame him,” he added so quietly that Alec thought he must’ve imagined it.

“I should leave you two to catch up on everything,” Alec smiled. “Izzy’s coming for lunch so I should probably buy some food,” he rubbed his neck. 

“Oh right. We’ll see each other tomorrow, though?” Magnus asked.

“I don’t know, really. We’re working the night shift with Jace tonight so who knows when we’re finished,” Alec sighed. “But I’ll do my best.”

Magnus smiled. He was still petting his cat.

“Okay then, I’m gonna go now. Bye, Magnus. Bye, Chairman,” he hugged his friend and scratched Chairman behind his ear.

 

He left Magnus’ loft and took a deep breath. He didn’t want to go home, he wanted to stay at Magnus’. Today felt so domestic and so right. They slept in the same bed, they picked up Chairman. Alec wished this could be more but obviously that could never happen. It was actually painful that Magnus would never think of him as anything more than his friend.

He managed to get couple of hours of sleep but he still felt physically and mentally exhausted so he didn’t want to bother to cook anything. And he would never let Izzy cook anything, he cherished his life way too much for that. Alec was wondering how Clary managed to keep Izzy from cooking. Even though his sister knew, deep down, that she was absolutely hopeless at this, she would never stop trying.

Alec decided to buy some Chinese food. He also bought raspberry lemonade which Izzy loved. That would do for today.

He took a train home. He lived relatively close to Magnus but he tried to keep his distance. Alec thought that if he’d lived too close, he would’ve probably come to visit him too often and he didn’t want to be annoying.

And the other thing... Camille. When they were looking for their new apartments, Magnus was with Camille. Alec could never understand how his best friend could fall so hard for someone so evil, someone who never appreciated him and someone who eventually broke his heart into a million pieces and left him almost broken inside.

It took a long time for Magnus to come back to his old self. But Alec knew him too well and could see that Magnus became very insecure. He didn’t want to take risks anymore. He closed himself off to feeling anything for anyone. He was seeing some people from time to time but it was never anything serious, usually some one-night stands. And for a while now, Alec didn’t hear about anyone. He didn’t think much about it, just because Magnus didn’t talk about his love life, it didn’t mean it hadn’t existed. 

Alec got home and Izzy knocked on his door five minutes later. He loved spending time with his sister, even if it was just a casual lunch and they didn’t talk much about anything. Well, he didn’t talk much. Izzy could usually talk nonstop but he loved hearing about her life or her job as a fashion journalist. Alec didn’t understand most of the things she was saying but seeing her happy was everything to him.

“Hello, big brother,” she hugged him. The Lightwoods were the family of huggers.

“Hi, sis,” he smiled. “We’re having Chinese today. And I bought raspberry lemonade,” he said.

“Ah, you know me too well. There’s nothing better than raspberry lemonade.”

They sat down at the table and started eating their food. There was a comfortable silence between them. 

Alec looked at his sister, she looked... conflicted?

“What is it, Izzy?” he asked calmly.

“What?” she raised her head and looked at him.

“I can see you wanna tell me something.”

“What I-I didn’t...” she started. “Yeah, okay, fine.” She took a deep breath and looked Alec in the eyes. “So... Did Magnus talk about the party?”

“Just a bit, that it was great and that people loved it and all of that. I knew it would be amazing. After all he was the one who organised it. But what does it-“

“No, did he talk about... people?” she looked almost shy. Alec wasn’t used to that look on his sister’s face.

“People? What do you- oh wait. He said you brought a friend. He loved her hair, whatever,” Alec rolled his eyes.

“Lydia, yes. Her hair does look amazing, Magnus is right,” she said with a smile.

“Okay, now I’m confused. Why are we even talking about a girl that Magnus likes? It’s not like I wanna talk about that,” he groaned.

“What? The fuck are you talking about? Obviously Magnus doesn’t like her. Well, not like that, anyway. I’m the one who likes her,” she said and lowered her head. “It might’ve actually been our second date...” she added.

“WHAT?! Why is it the first time I hear about this?!” he shouted. “No, wait. That came out wrong. I’m really happy for you, sis,” he walked to her and gave her a hug. “I was just surprised, I’m sorry.”

“It’s really okay,” she laughed. “I wanted to introduce you two at the party but you and Jace were working so only Magnus and Simon got to know her. Clary had obviously met her before and Raphael... I don’t know, he seemed not to care but that’s his usual look. And later I saw him talking with Lydia. She said he was cool,” Izzy chuckled.

“Well, I hope I’ll meet her asap. If you’re happy, I’m happy. You know that.”

“I love you. You know that, right?” she asked and looked at him. She had to raise her head really high because Alec was much taller than her. “And you and Magnus will find each other eventually. And don’t even argue about this with me,” she added as she noticed his facial expression. “You know I’m always right.”

“Debatable,” he laughed.

“Shut up,” she hit him lightly in his arm. “Let’s finish our lunch, you probably need to leave for work soon.”

Izzy left half an hour later. 

Alec threw the boxes away and washed the glasses. He couldn’t stand a messy flat. That was why he was usually doing the dishes when he was visiting Izzy and Clary’s flat. He would never understand how they could live like that.

Alec went straight to the bathroom to take a shower. 

Warm water was pouring on his body and he finally had some time to think. Which he realised was never good as his mind would always go straight to Magnus. And today all he could think about was the moment when they actually spend the night in the same bed. And that he could see Magnus’ bare chest, feel all those amazing muscles and his warmth on his skin. Alec couldn’t breathe. It was hard before to hide his feelings but now? All he could see was images of this handsome man.

Alec’s right hand went down and he grabbed his dick. Great, he was hard again and he felt this weird mix of guilt and excitement. He couldn’t take it anymore. His left hand landed of the wall and his breathing accelerated. The movements of his hand were rapid, he saw flashes of Magnus in his mind. Soon after, he came hard with Magnus’ name on his lips.

After that, he washed himself quickly, feeling ashamed. What would Magnus even think of him if he knew what he had just done?

Alec brushed his teeth and put some clothes on without even thinking about what to wear. He considered combing his hair but it was always pointless, his hair had a life on its own.

Alec took his guns out of the safe and put them in the holsters; one in the shoulder holster and the other one in the ankle holster. Then he put his leather jacket on and left the apartment.

It took him about twenty minutes to get to the police station. He said hello to Dot who was a desk sergeant and then headed to his and Jace’s office. He was always a bit earlier than his brother who would usually join him after ten or fifteen minutes.

“Hi,” said Jace. “I brought coffee.”

“Thanks, dude.” Alec said and took one of the cups. “So... Time to walk around the clubs,” he sighed.

“It could be worse... It’s still relatively warm outside and it’s not raining so maybe some scumbags will try to make deals outside. Security in those rich clubs can be pretty tight.” Jace said matter-of-factly.

“I guess you’re right. Let’s go.”


	3. Can I help you, Raphael?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter is very Magnus-centric and it introduces the rest of the characters and relationships. i gotta say i'm not gonna focus too much on clace, though. but i'll try to include as much saphael and izzy x lydia as i can :)
> 
> the next chapter will be more focused on malec and hopefully longer than this one but i hope you'll enjoy ch. 3 as well :)
> 
> i also wanted to thank you all for your comments and kudos, they're a huge motivation and they mean the world to me <3
> 
> as always you can find me on tumblr [@harryshmjr](http://harryshmjr.tumblr.com)

As soon as Magnus closed the door, he exhaled and slid down the wall. He was still holding Chairman in his arms. He looked at the cat and petted its head.

“What am I even doing, Chairman?” he asked. “I can’t even keep my fucking hands to myself.” The cat was observing him calmly. “Like, I actually asked him to sleep in my bed last night, can you believe that?” he lowered his head. “No, nothing like that. Stop it,” he added as if Chairman accused him of something.

Magnus always tried to be that freewheeling person who got along with everyone or flirted a bit with whomever he pleased so he hoped that would hide his true feelings. It was getting hard, though. Every time he saw Alec, he just wanted to hug him and kiss him and tell him how much he loved him. He was considering doing so more and more often and was afraid that finally he would snap.

Magnus put the cat down and stood up. He put the food and milk in Chairman’s bowls and the contented cat proceeded to eat and drink. “How I wish my life was that simple,” he sighed.

He went to bathroom to take off his makeup. He needed to go to the gym to get rid of all of that sexual frustration. 

It had been a really long time since he was with someone. But ever since he realized he’d had feelings for Alec, he had no desire to sleep with other people. Which on one hand meant that this was very serious _(and that scared him a lot)_ but on the other hand it became quite problematic. And that was why he’d decided to join the gym. It wasn’t very helpful when he was going there with Alec who always at some point would get rid of his T-shirt _(damn those muscles)_. So Magnus could admire the view but at the same time that would only get him even more frustrated. That would obviously leave him with jerking off which just didn’t feel right. Alec was his friend. His best friend. So when it came to that, Magnus would always try to justify this with his feelings. After all, he didn’t just want to sleep with Alec. He wanted to cuddle with him, be there for him when he needed him. He wanted to spend his life with Alec. But even that didn’t ease his conscience.

However, when he went to the gym on his own or with Raphael and Ragnor, he would exercise to the point of real exhaustion and he would be too tired to do anything else. What’s more, that also improved his looks. Magnus was always very satisfied with his body as he danced a lot, but since he started working out for real, his muscles became quite impressive.

He took his gym bag and left home. It was his day off and Ragnor was taking care of things at Pandemonium tonight so he could work out for as long as he needed. And he felt like it might take quite a while.

The gym was two blocks down from his loft. It wasn’t one of those fancy gyms with expensive equipment but it had everything Magnus needed. Alaric was a very competent trainer and was helping people who required his assistance. Plus, Simon was working there and it was really nice to talk with someone he knew well. Although, that was rather difficult when he was coming to the gym with Raphael.

Magnus always thought that Raphael wasn’t interested in people in general. He always seemed to be bored with them. Or annoyed. Or both. And then they met Simon who was the exact opposite of Raphael. He was talkative. Very talkative. To the point that quite often he didn’t even make any sense whatsoever. Or maybe he did but Magnus never knew much about comic books, superheroes or weird old movies.

And Raphael? Well, Raphael was usually silent but he was always observing. Like he was judging people hard in his head. But he wasn’t afraid to say things to people’s faces. Magnus didn’t mind that. He actually admired it and knew that Raphael would be always honest with him. 

He and Raphael met at the university and somehow became friends. More... they became brothers. You could always depend on Raphael because even if he pretended like he didn’t care, he was always very protective of people he considered his family or friends.

When Magnus created Pandemonium, he asked him to become his chief of security at Pandemonium and Raphael accepted. He was always good at managing people. Magnus never had to worry about safety in his club which was what he had always wanted. A safe place where people could be themselves.

But Raphael and Simon’s relationship? It was a rather difficult concept for Magnus. Raphael never seemed to be interested in anything that Simon liked. They were completely different people. Simon enjoyed loud spaces, he loved his band _(which was quite good but they could never agree on a name so people could never keep up with them anyway)_ and until they met Simon, the only times Raphael was visiting loud places were when he was at work.

That’s why Magnus couldn’t understand how on Earth they started dating. But they clicked. Maybe it was true what people were saying... Opposites attract.

Raphael never smiled much but Simon seemed to bring joy into his life so Magnus stopped questioning their relationship. If Simon made his brother happy, then that was all that mattered. 

Obviously he would tease both of them. Magnus sometimes thought it might be the case because he was jealous, he could see they were so happy together and he wanted to feel the same. But mostly it was because Raphael was constantly teasing him about Alec. Still, he never said anything about it to Simon which Magnus was very grateful for. He loved Simon but if he knew, then Clary would know immediately, then Izzy and it would be a matter of time until she told Alec. So no… Nobody could know.

Magnus went into the gym and noticed that Simon was sitting at the reception desk and reading a book. It was a strange view to see someone with a book at the gym. Magnus was often wondering how someone who had absolutely no interest in sport found a job in such a place. Simon would always respond that being in a band was his real job but it never brought enough money and it was easy to adjust work schedule at the gym with playing concerts whenever the band had a chance to play a show. And he actually enjoyed working at the gym, even if most of the jocks were looking down on him. Simon didn’t mind that at all because he preferred focusing on the good parts in people.

“Hello, Samuel,” said Magnus.

Simon raised his head from the book. “You know my name is Simon, dude,” he said and shook his head. After a second he added, “Hi, Magnus. What can I do for you?” He put his book down and looked at him.

“I believe my subscription is about to end so I wanted to extend it.”

“Sure thing.” Simon said with a smile on his face and proceeded to click something on the computer. “That’s gonna be $50.”

“Here it is.” Magnus gave Simon the money. “I’m gonna go now, I need to run,” he said.

“Have fun. Oh, and don’t forget about pizza night at Clary and Izzy’s tonight,” Simon stood up and shouted after him.

“My memory is quite exquisite, Shane,” Magnus shouted back and winked at Simon who sighed very loudly. Of course he knew his name but somehow it was still funny to choose different names every time they saw each other.

Magnus changed his clothes and chose his favourite treadmill. The gym was rather empty as most of the people were at work. He preferred it that way as he didn’t have to worry about anyone and he could choose the equipment he needed at the time. 

Magnus put the earphones on and turned the music on. He enjoyed working out to Latino music. If the gym was totally empty, he would often choose to dance rather than run or lift weights. It felt less tiring, even though it really wasn’t. Dancing could be quite exhausting but Magnus loved it and didn’t notice any pain in his body when he was dancing.

He always tried to dance as often as possible. When he was a kid, he was dancing every single day. He vaguely remembered dancing with his mother in the kitchen while she was cooking dinner when he was four or five and later he joined a real dancing school. Very quickly it became his way of escaping his abusive step father. If he spent enough time in the school, he would often find him sleeping on the couch. He was drinking a lot and was usually passed out around 8 or 9 pm. 

However when his mother died and his step father decided they were going to move to the USA, they didn’t have much money. He would visit dancing schools from time to time but soon enough, he had to stop. He lied to Alec that he’d decided he had no desire to go pro. It broke his heart into million pieces, dance was his life and his escape from the real world. Alec was his best friend but he didn’t want to worry him but above all it was a painful subject for him, he wasn’t able to talk about it with anyone. He and Alec shared everything but that one part of his life he needed to leave only for himself.

When his step father died, he received a scholarship to go to a university but it was too late to go back to dancing professionally. He never stopped dancing on his own, though.

When he created Pandemonium, he primarly thought about himself, so he could always have a place where he could dance and that would belong to him. Very soon it became much more to him, it was his second home. Watching people having fun and meeting new people brought him so much joy.

 

Magnus spent over an hour just running and listening to music. He felt absolutely exhausted but exercising and silencing his mind with music actually helped a bit. He couldn’t silence all of his thoughts but he would take anything at this point.

Whilst taking a shower, he started thinking what he should wear to a pizza night.

They would often organise such meetings at his place or Izzy and Clary’s when Jace and Alec were having night shifts. Nobody wanted to admit that out loud but they were all scared that something might happen to them so being together was bringing them some peace. They would eat pizza, drink wine or play some stupid games. Sometimes it was a bit problematic to have friends who were so co-dependent on each other but in moments like this, it was good to have people who could understand each other so well.

They were having those meetings quite often during the last month as Alec and Jace were at work almost nonstop. Both of them were very dedicated and determined people and pressure from Maryse and the public was only pushing them even further.

Clary and Jace were dating for about six months now but Magnus could see how that changed her. Even though she was hiding it quite well, he noticed that she was constantly worried about Jace and Magnus could really relate to this feeling. Not that he could tell her that. But if something happened to Alec… This thought would cross his mind every now and then and it scared him to death. Magnus couldn’t imagine his life without Alec.

He loved his life and wasn’t one of those people who thought that the love of your life should be considered a second half. Everyone should be their own person. However, being with someone could make one’s life even brighter. Coming back home after work and knowing that there was someone waiting for you... All Magnus wanted for years was to find someone who would love him just as he loved them. For a while he thought that maybe Camille was that person. How wrong he was. But when Magnus thought about Alec, his first connotation was happiness and safety.

 

He had two hours before he had to leave so he started going through his wardrobe. Sometimes he thought he had definitely too many clothes and sometimes he thought he had absolutely nothing to wear. It was one of those days. 

He tried probably like ten different outfits and nothing worked for him. Finally he decided to wear a willow-green tunic and 7/8 jeans and chose grey loafers to complement his ensemble.

He didn’t need to put heavy makeup on as it was a casual meeting with his friends so he put some grey eye shadow on and made a thin line with an eyeliner on his bottom lid. At the end he applied a dab of peach lip gloss. Luckily his nail polish didn’t chip so that saved him a lot of time.

It was right after 7 pm which meant that Alec started his shift. The thought made him feel uneasy and worried, he needed to talk to him.

He found his phone on the kitchen counter and chose Alec’s number.

Alec answered immediately. “Hi, Magnus. Something’s wrong?” he asked worried.

“On the contrary, my dear Alexander.” Magnus replied, feeling much better now that he heard Alec's voice. “You know me, I was just a bit worried,” he laughed nervously.

“Hey, it’s all good,” Alec said seriously.

“Yeah, I know… Anyway, I’m about to leave to Izzy and Clary’s, we’re having pizza night. I just wanted to check on you.”

“Have fun,” he said. “Wish we could be there, we’ve just left to go around some clubs. Maybe we’ll get lucky tonight,” he said but Magnus heard uncertainty in his voice.

“You will find him eventually, I know you will,” he said in a stern voice, hoping that Alec might believe him.

“Thanks… I guess.”

“Be careful out there, okay?” Magnus said shyly.

“You know I will. Enjoy your evening. Talk to you later.”

 

Magnus put the clothes on and proceeded to choosing jewellery. He decided on his favourite titanium grey carbon fibre ring, a silver chain bracelet and couple of necklaces.

He put the phone into his bag as he didn’t have any pockets in those jeans _(now he understood why women were always complaining about the lack of pockets, it was annoying, indeed)_. He closed his loft and went out to catch a train.

There were a lot of people so every once in a while someone would land on him. It wasn’t exactly those people’s fault but it was extremely irritating. Luckily it took only 20 minutes to get to Clary and Izzy’s as he didn’t think he would be so quiet about his current situation. He was literally about to start screaming.

Clary and Izzy lived right next to the subway and Magnus was a bit late but he went into the shop to buy a bottle of red wine. He didn’t feel comfortable showing up with empty hands. He knew his friends wouldn’t care if he came with nothing but it was the way he was.

He knocked on a door and was greeted by Izzy.

“Magnus,” she kissed his cheek.

“Hello, my dear Isabelle,” he replied with a smile. "Looking beautiful as always."

Everyone was already sitting comfortably in the living room. Clary was watching something on TV with Lydia whereas Simon was talking with Raphael. What a surprise.

“Hi, everyone,” said Magnus and all of them looked at him.

Clary stood up and hugged him. Simon and Lydia casually waved at him.

“Ah, Magnus. Always fashionably late,” Raphael announced and came back to his conversation with Simon.

“Yes, it’s good to see you too. You’re always such a delight,” Magnus said sarcastically. 

He sat down next to Lydia who gave him a soft smile. 

"You remember Lydia, my date, right?" Izzy asked.

"Your date? Oh right, I completely forgot. I'm so sorry," he replied apologetically.

Magnus hadn’t had a lot of time to get to know her at Pandemonium but she seemed lovely and had wonderful hair which was something that Magnus would always appreciate. Izzy seemed to be so smitten with her. He was happy for both of them.

Obviously another couple meant he felt even more lonely. He had Alec but not really. Not in the way that he wanted. He was glad his friends found love in their lives and that it was actually reciprocated. It was all he was hoping for at the moment.

Izzy gave him a glass of wine. “Pizza is coming, the usual order. Even your pineapple pizza, Simon,” she said and squinted her eyes. “God, every time I just hear them judging me for ordering this monstrosity and I need to tell them it’s not for me.”

“Hey, don’t hate it till you taste it!” he shouted back.

“Why would anyone want to taste it, please.” Magnus said and sipped on his wine. “We enjoy our lives too much,” he added and heard Lydia chuckle. He felt like he was going to like Lydia. After all, everyone who hated pineapple pizza had a good start.

Magnus focused on the conversation with Lydia as she was the only person he didn’t know much about. She was really easy to talk to. Magnus found out that she was a lawyer but her main focus was on women and domestic violence. She wanted to help them as very often they had little or no money but mostly because they were afraid to leave their abusive partners. Most of those women had children and no place to live. Lydia and the law firm she worked for were cooperating with a charity which helped victims of domestic violence.

So not only was she beautiful but also extremely smart and a good human being. Magnus was very much impressed. 

Lydia met Izzy in a coffee shop. She was working on another case and felt stuck so she decided to leave her apartment and work somewhere else. That was when she noticed Isabelle. Magnus could see a little flicker in her eyes when she mentioned Izzy’s name. She said she was never interested in girls until now and had absolutely no idea if Izzy was straight or not. She decided to chat her up and they talked for over an hour. Lydia asked her out and Izzy agreed. It was all very fresh but Magnus thought this relationship had a great potential.

“Magnus, what about you? We haven’t heard about anyone new in your life in ages,” Izzy asked clearly interested.

“There’s just nothing to talk about,” Magnus responded with a forced smile and heard Raphael snort. “Can I help you, Raphael?” he asked seriously.

“Nah, I’m good,” he responded casually.

Magnus only looked at him like he tried to tell him to drop it without using actual words. It wasn’t the time to discuss the situation and Raphael should know this. 

“Let’s do karaoke!” Clary shouted as the conversation went silent.

“Yeah, I’m gonna pass, I haven’t had enough of wine yet,” Lydia stated and Magnus had to laugh at that.

“Fine, we’re gonna start. Come on, Izzy. We’ll show them,” Clary said cheerfully and Izzy clearly had the idea what song they were going to sing.

 

_Yo, I'll tell you what I want, what I really really want,_  
_So tell me what you want, what you really really want,_  
_I'll tell you what I want, what I really really want,_  
_So tell me what you want, what you really really want,_  
_I wanna, I wanna, I wanna, I wanna, I wanna really really really wanna zigazig ha._

_If you wanna be my lover, you gotta get with my friends_  
_Make it last forever friendship never ends,_  
_If you wanna be my lover, you have got to give,_  
_Taking is too easy, but that's the way it is._

 

Of course they chose ‘Wannabe’ by Spice Girls. They were singing the verses in turns and having a lot of fun with it. Clearly they didn’t need much wine to sing. It was actually their favourite thing to do and Magnus suspected they were doing karaoke night every night.

“You’re getting along with my friends quite well, I’d say, so we’re sorted,” Izzy chuckled and kissed Lydia who blushed a bit. She was just adorable.

Magnus was drinking his second glass of wine when the pizza came. He took a slice into his hand and started eating. He was absolutely starving, having eaten only a sandwich with Alec in the morning.

“Okay, so my turn.” Simon finished his horrible pineapple pizza fast and stood up.

“Aren’t you going to join him, Raphael?” Lydia asked surprised.

Raphael looked up from his phone and smirked. “No, definitely not.”

“Oh, don’t mind him,” Simon said with enthusiasm. “Raph is just anti-social but he means well,” he added and smiled at his boyfriend.

Simon then proceeded to choose his song. As soon as the music started Magnus facepalmed.

 

_I believe in miracles_  
_Where you from_  
_You sexy thing_  
_I believe in miracles_  
_Since you came along_  
_You sexy thing_

_Where did you come from, baby?_  
_How did you know I needed you?_  
_How did you know I needed you so badly?_  
_How did you know I'd give my heart gladly?_  
_Yesterday I was one of the lonely people_  
_Now you're lying close to me, making love to me._

 

Simon didn’t even have to look at the lyrics, he sang the whole song looking at Raphael who was looking back at Simon. Wait, was he… he was smiling. No blush, no embarrassment, just pure happiness on his face.

“You’re both disgusting,” Magnus said as soon as Simon finished and Raphael stood up to kiss him. “Okay, my turn.”

Magnus put down his glass of wine at the coffee table and chose ‘Beat it’ by Michael Jackson. However he didn’t sing much of the song as he started dancing immediately. He was better at this anyway. Plus who wouldn’t dance while listening to Jackson, let’s be honest. Izzy joined him in the middle of a song, she was also dancing a bit when she was a teenager so they understood each other very well.

The rest of the group was admiring their moves for a while as none of them could dance as well as them. But soon enough they joined them anyway.

Everyone was singing and dancing, except for Raphael who pretended he had no interest in whatever they were doing but Magnus could notice that he was moving his feet and he smiled at him. 

Magnus almost didn’t hear his phone ringing as they were quite loud. It was Alec. He ran to the kitchen to answer his phone.

“Hello?” he asked, his voice shaking a bit. His mind was already filled with images of hurt Alec. It was irrational, he knew that. He couldn't stop that, though.

“Magnus… We got him,” Alec said, relief in his voice.


	4. Can I?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i am SO sorry it took me so long to update. the work is taking a lot of my time and i had a really bad cold and couldn't focus on writing. so again, SORRY.
> 
> i hope you'll enjoy this chapter, though <3
> 
> you can find me on tumblr [@harryshmjr](http://harryshmjr.tumblr.com)
> 
> also small disclaimer: in this fic Jocelyn used to be Valentine's wife but they didn't have any kids together. Luke is Clary's father.

“We’ve been walking around for ages,” Jace complained and raised his arms in frustration. “This is ridiculous. And pointless.” 

“Calm down, dude. It’s barely after 11. Most of the parties are just starting,” Alec said calmly.

“Right, because you know so much about partying,” Jace bit back.

Alec decided there was no point in continuing this discussion. They were both on the brink of exhaustion and they were both annoyed so they were blowing steam on each other which wasn’t helping anyone. Jace was never a patient guy but this time it was getting to Alec as well.

Jace was right, though. They were walking around the clubs for such a long time, they were looking in every dark alley. They saw things they would never be able to erase from their memories. But they would just leave them alone because they had no intention of giving themselves even more paperwork. They needed some sleep after all.

It was a relatively warm night for late September and if Alec wasn’t so tired, he might’ve even enjoyed walking around. He loved New York. He spent his whole life here but he never thought about to living anywhere else. New York had everyone and everything he ever needed. He had a great job, his family lived here... And of course, Magnus was here. Every once in a while Alec would thank the universe for bringing Magnus to NYC from Indonesia. It was mostly because of the very selfish reasons but moving to the USA was also good for his best friend. Magnus’ step father was more afraid to do anything to him here so he wasn’t as abusive as back in Indonesia. But of course, he would always find a way to insult his step son. Every time Alec thought about it, he wanted to punch the guy... Even if he was already dead.

“Alec, look,” Jace said quietly. “Are you seeing what I’m seeing?”

Alec came back from his thoughts and looked in the direction that Jace was pointing.

Could that be their lucky night? Yes, it had to be this guy. Tall, blonde hair and the suit. He looked very professional, that’s why Susan never suspected anything wrong. He looked like just another businessman but Alec noticed that he was holding a small bag in his hand.

“You gotta be fucking kidding me,” he said under his breath.

They both took out their weapons and ran to two people standing in the alley. Their suspect and someone who would probably be his new victim. The girl couldn’t be much older than Susan. Alec’s blood was boiling. It would happen again if they weren’t walking around the clubs tonight.

“NYPD, hands where I can see them!” Jace shouted at the guy and pointed his gun at him.

“You, get out of here!” Alec shouted at the girl.

The dealer raised his head and looked at both of them. He was smirking. The girl was terrified and ran away very quickly. Hopefully she would be safe tonight and maybe she would think twice next time before making any sort of deals with some shady people in the alleys.

The man didn’t even try to run, he seemed confident and didn’t make one sound when Jace put cuffs on him, maybe a bit too brutally. But Alec would definitely not say a word about that, it wasn't like he didn’t deserve that.

It didn’t take them a long time to get to the police station. That dealer was absolutely shameless. He tried to sell his product right under their noses. Maybe that was the reason nobody caught him till now as nobody would even think that someone could make deals next to them.

“I’m gonna check his prints, maybe we’ll find something in the database,” Jace announced and took the dealer with him. He was pulling his sleeve with a bit too much force. Again, Alec wouldn’t be the one to tell him to be even a little bit more gentle.

“Okay,” said Alec. “I’ll wait for you in the office.”

Alec sat down at his desk. Was it finally over? They caught him after over a month. He couldn’t believe it, he was starting to lose hope they’d ever catch him. Now a confession would be great but that wasn’t very likely. There was just something very disturbing about that guy.

Alec took out his phone and chose Magnus’ number. He didn’t want to disturb his night with friends but Alec really needed to hear his voice and to share good news.

“Hello?” he heard Magnus’ voice.

“Magnus... We got him,” he said clearly relieved. He was smiling. He wanted to share his happiness with Magnus. He kept thinking about it ever since they arrived with the suspect.

“Oh my God, finally!” Magnus shouted. “I am so happy for you, Alexander. I knew you could do it. I’m so proud of you.” Alec had to smile at this.

“Thanks, Magnus. I’m really glad it’s over. Well, not really. We still have to question him et cetera but you know... Anyway, how are you guys?”

“We’re very well, just drinking, eating, singing, dancing... The usual stuff,” Magnus laughed. “Speaking of... We need to celebrate! Yes, definitely. You’re gonna rest and then we’re going to Pandemonium. You and Jace both need to blow off some steam,” he announced. “And don’t try to argue with me,” he added as he knew Alec would say there was no need.

“Okay, okay. Thank you, Magnus,” he said and laughed softly. “I’ll let Jace know. He should be done processing the guy so I gotta join him. Talk to ya tomorrow.”

“Bye, darling.”

Alec hang up but couldn’t stop smiling. It felt so good to share his small victories with Magnus who was always very supportive of him. Always on his side. Magnus would constantly remind him that he believed in him. Alec really needed that when he decided to continue working for his mother. Her true specialty was making him doubt himself in less than ten words. Alec was sometimes wondering why she decided to have children in the first place. Clearly it wasn’t her cup of tea.

Alec got up and went to an interrogation room. Jace came with their suspect five minutes later and put him in the room. Then he gave Alec the files.

“Oh, you’re gonna love what the system showed,” Jace said.

Alec started looking at the files. “Is this for real? Come on...”

“Told ya. Let’s go question this piece of shit.”

They sat across the table. The suspect was clearly very comfortable or maybe he just wanted them to think he was. He was almost lying in the chair, his legs and arms were crossed. He was smirking again. Alec wondered if maybe that was his constant facial expression.

“This conversation is being recorded. You have the right to remain silent and refuse to answer questions. Anything you say may be used against you in a court of law. You have the right to consult an attorney before speaking to the police and to have an attorney present during questioning now or in the future. If you cannot afford an attorney, one will be appointed for you before any questioning if you wish. If you decide to answer questions now without an attorney present, you will still have the right to stop answering at any time until you talk to an attorney. Knowing and understanding your rights as I have explained them to you, are you willing to answer my questions without an attorney present?” Alec recited his rights.

“I don’t really mind, we can start without my lawyer. But at some point I might decide to call him. Who knows,” he shrugged. “For now, let’s say I’m interested,” said the suspect.

“So... Sebastian Morgenstern. That’s interesting,” Jace started.

“I prefer Verlac, thank you very much,” he replied almost disgusted.

“Oh, do you now? Don’t wanna make daddy proud? You’re on the best road to join him. Maybe you’ll even get to share a cell since you’re family.” Jace was glad that this hit Sebastian’s nerve. The guy was definitely too cocky and mentioning his father, Valentine, seemed to do the trick. “I’m sure Luke will be happy that we continued his legacy and caught the son after he caught the father,” he laughed.

“I have no interest in talking about my father. I haven’t talked to him since your precious Luke-” he said his name as if it was poison, “caught him. I have better things to do than to think about him.”

“Yes, clearly you’re over him,” Alec joined their conversation. “So if not him, who are you working for then?”

“Who said I was working for anyone?” Sebastian asked, suddenly nervous.

“Obviously nobody but now I am absolutely sure of it,” Alec said almost to himself.

Alec didn’t even know why he asked that but that’s what he was afraid of. They caught the guy who was selling drugs to the kids so that was a success, yes. But he was clearly working for somebody else. Valentine’s son? He might’ve been sneaky and evil but not that smart. Plus Valentine made sure to destroy his son from the inside. He might’ve looked like he was confident but years of physical and mental abuse left him with huge insecurities. Not that any of this justified his action. Like father, like son. Both of them belonged in prison.

Luke caught Valentine almost 15 years ago. It was much harder for him since Valentine was really evil but extremely smart. He never left any traces and very often was using his minions to do the dirty work for him. Valentine was dealing weapons and he was ruthless. Luke managed to find evidence for the murders of 20 people but he was sure that he killed at least 30 more.

It was also personal for him. His wife, Jocelyn, used to be married to Valentine. She married him when she was only 18 and they were married for less than a year. She barely managed to escape from him. At first Valentine seemed like the sweetest guy but soon enough she realised she hadn't known him at all. During almost their whole marriage she lived in the constant fear something might happen to her. He would always talk about how much he loved her but she couldn’t be with someone who was killing people and selling weapons that would be used to kill even more people.

She escaped and came right into the police station where Luke was working. She gave him all the information she had been aware of which was very helpful in destroying part of his business. However, catching Valentine took much longer.

With time Luke and Jocelyn got really close, they fell in love. After two years they were married and a year later they had Clary.

During the investigation Luke wasn’t sleeping much and was basically living on coffee and cigarettes which was very bad for his health. His blood pressure was extremely high and there was a risk of a heart attack. Even Jocelyn couldn’t get to him. As soon as he caught Valentine, he realised how much she and Clary had been worrying about him. When Valentine was sent to prison, he quit his job and became a private investigator. Jocelyn couldn’t be happier as the new job was much safer and Luke could still help people so everyone was happy.

Clary was just a kid at the time but she could see how much this affected her mother. When Luke quit the job, the atmosphere in the house was completely different. She would never ask either her mother or her father about Valentine, though. She knew he was her mother’s ex-husband and he was a bad person. Jocelyn and Luke wanted to protect her and give her a happy childhood.

This case was the breaking point in Alec's life. He would always try to overhear as much as he could when Maryse was talking about it to Robert. She wasn’t a friend of Luke but it was the most important case at the time so everyone was talking about it. Alec would even steal the files from her mother’s briefcase when she was sleeping to read everything. He would return them before she woke up. That’s how he knew that Sebastian was abused as a child.

“Whatever, you’ll never find her anyway,” Sebastian said with a smug.

“You idiot, you’ve literally just told us we’re looking for a woman,” Jace said and almost laughed. “That’ll be all for tonight. Enjoy your stay in a county jail.”

“Wait, what-“ Sebastian started, clearly surprised.

“You were arrested for drug possession with intent to distribute. You’re going to prison anyway. Let us know if you wanna make your sentence shorter. All you gotta do is say who you’re working for,” Alec interrupted him as he stood up. “You know how to contact us. The officer will take you now.”

Alec and Jace walked out of the room and went straight to their office to finish up on paper work.

“Dude, we did it!” Jace shouted and hit Alec’s arm.

“No, we didn’t. He was just a pawn. The brain of this is still out there.”

“Alec, brother... Can you please just enjoy this for like five minutes? We got him. We’ll get her too,” Jace said seriously this time.

“Yeah... You’re right,” Alec replied without any conviction. “I was talking to Magnus, he invited us all to Pandemonium to celebrate or whatever.”

“Sweet! Party! I don’t remember the last time we had some fun as a group,” Jace smiled and sat down to finish up his report.

Alec did the same. It took them just a bit over an hour and then they went straight to their apartments. They could finally catch up on some sleep.

 

It was almost 4 am when Alec arrived to his flat. He wasn’t sure if he needed food or sleep more. He made himself a sandwich, took a quick shower and went straight to bed. He didn’t even bother to put his pyjamas on. He fell asleep immediately.

 

Alec heard a noise in his kitchen. He looked at the alarm clock on his nightstand, it was 3 pm. He would enjoy the fact that he actually had a chance to get a decent amount of sleep if someone wasn’t breaking into his apartment.

He jumped out of the bed and put his jeans quickly. He ran out of his bedroom, ready to fight whoever tried to steal his stuff in the middle of the freaking day.

“Good morning, sunishine,” Magnus said with a smile as he noticed him immediately. “I didn’t know you slept butt naked,” he chuckled.

“I- what?” Alec’s face went red. He realised that he actually was sleeping naked because putting clothes on would take too much effort and he was way too exhausted for that. 

Alec took a deep breath. “What are you doi- wait, it smells delicious. What is it?” Alec might’ve wanted the ground to open up and swallow him but he was also absolutely starving and Magnus was a great cook.

“I’m glad you’re awake. Soto is already ready and so is ayam goreng. Sit down, darling.” Magnus smiled at him.

Alec did what he was told. Magnus was taking out the plates out of his cupboards. He knew where everything was as if he lived here. Alec sometimes liked imagining that this was real.

“Look, I’m sorry you saw me naked,” he started. “I just-“

“Sweetie, why are you apologising? You’re in your own home, you can do whatever you want to,” Magnus winked. “And it’s not like I would complain about the view,” he smirked.

Alec blushed again. Even harder this time. Magnus had a habit of complimenting his friends from time to time but every time he would compliment Alec, Alec couldn’t handle this. It was very overwhelming.

Magnus put the food in front of him so he just buried his face in the plate. “This is so good, Magnus,” he said with his mouth full.

“I’m glad you like it,” Magnus said and starting eating his food as well. “How are you feeling, Alexander?”

“I’m fine,” Alec responded automatically.

“No, don’t give me that ‘I’m fine’ you tell everyone.” Magnus really knew him too well. “How are you really? I thought you’d be happy it’s over.” Magnus sounded concerned.

“Well, it’s not. And I’m just... so tired, you know? I guess we’ll get like couple of days to get some rest but then we’re back to square one.”

“What do you mean? Last night you said you’d caught the guy.”

“We did. Turned out he was just a pawn, not a very smart one. He told us his boss is a woman. So at least we’ve got something to work on.”

Magnus stopped eating and looked at Alec. His eyes were sad. Alec hated seeing him like this when he knew it was his fault.

“I’m so sorry,” he said. “But listen, you caught him and you’ll get that woman as well. I know you will.”

“That’s exactly what Jace said,” Alec breathed out while taking another bite of his food.

“Oh God, we got to the point where me and Jace say the same thing. This is bad,” Magnus laughed.

They continued eating their dinner, talking casually about anything and everything in the world. Magnus was telling him about the newest season of RuPaul’s Drag Race and what his favourite drag queen was wearing in the last episode. Of course the favourite part of each episode was the shade. Drag queens were definitely pros at this. Alec would often watch it with Magnus whenever he had time. He would pretend as if he didn’t care about it but secretly he was a huge fan and watching it with Magnus was one of his favourite actitivities. He loved listening about things Magnus loved because those things made Magnus happy. But he loved it even more when they could talk about things they both enjoyed.

“Okay, you hit the shower and I’m gonna choose some clothes for you,” Magnus announced suddenly.

“I can choose my own clothes, Magnus,” Alec groaned.

“Sure you can, honey,” Magnus totally ignored him. “We’re celebrating tonight because you caught one of the bad guys and I need you to look absolutely astonishing,” he added and looked at Alec. “Don’t get me wrong, you look amazing but I need you to wear something else than your usual black clothes,” he finished and winked at Alec.

There was no point in discussing the matter further. Magnus had always strong opinions on fashion and sometimes Alec would just let him pick something for him. Alec trusted him completely. Magnus knew him very well and the clothes he chose for him were always perfect. Alec would never wear anything too extravagant but Magnus was able to mix Alec's usual style with something extra.

Alec took a long, hot shower. He felt much better physically since he was finally able to sleep longer but he was still exhausted mentally. Magnus and Jace were right, he needed to relax and enjoy small victories so he decided that he was going to enjoy the party. The case will still be there so he might enjoy himself for a second. Of course Maryse wouldn’t approve.

Alec got out of the shower and put one towel around his hips and was drying his hair with another one. Magnus was in his bedroom, still going through all of his clothes.

“I managed to choo-“ Magnus started and looked at Alec. He stopped for a half a second and coughed. “Right, I mean... I think that should work for tonight,” he showed him dark blue skinny jeans and a white tank top. 

Alec liked those jeans, even though he wasn’t wearing them very often. It was absolutely impossible to run in them.

“Magnus, that tank top is too small,” Alec protested.

“Nonsense, it’ll just show your amazing muscles better,” Magnus said matter-of-factly. “Also, it really compliments the colour of your eyes and hair. And it’s simple enough so you can’t complain that it’s too flashy for you,” he said completely seriously.

“Fine, fine,” Alec gave up. “Thank you, Magnus. It’s great.”

“That’s better,” Magnus smiled. “Now, I need to go back to my place. I need to take care of this now,” he said and showed all of his body. “I’ll see you at 9.”

They hugged and Magnus left his apartment. Would he ever get used to the way that Magnus smelt? It was making him feel dizzy every time. Alec was sure the smell of citrus was his favourite one.

 

Alec put on the clothes that Magnus had chosen for him and his black leather jacket. He went straight to Izzy’s apartment. He figured it would be a great opportunity to meet Lydia, his sister’s girlfriend.

Alec still couldn’t believe that it happened. He never suspected that his sister also liked girls but as long as she was happy, he would always support her. He only hoped that Maryse and Robert would take it better than when he came out. It was fine when they were disappointed in him but he would never let his parents kill this joy in his little sister. Alec might’ve not met Lydia yet but he could see on Izzy’s face that she was happy.

“Alec? Hello, big brother,” Izzy greeted him when she opened the door. “You look nice,” she squinted her eyes. “Magnus?”

“Oh come on,” Alec sighed loudly. “Yes, Magnus,” he added as Izzy clearly would never believe that he chose such nice clothes by himself.

He sat on the couch and took off his jacket. “Where’s Clary?” he asked.

“Oh, she left earlier and went to Jace’s. They’ll come together,” Izzy shouted from her room.

“I was hoping I could meet Lydia. I still haven’t had a chance to meet her...”

“She should be here in like 15 minutes.”

 

Alec turned on the TV and was watching something without much of a thought. Izzy was still preparing in her room and there was no point in interrupting her. It wasn't like he could give her any advice what she should wear or how she should do her hair. She was an expert in this field anyway.

Exactly 15 minutes later, there was a knock on the door.

“Can you get that?” Izzy shouted.

Alec went to open the door and there was a short blonde woman standing in front of him. Even though Alec had no interest in girls whatsoever, he could still appreciate someone’s beauty. And the girl was one of the most beautiful women he had ever seen in his life.

“Um, hi?” she said unsure.

“Hi, I’m Alec. Izzy’s brother. Come on in,” he said and let her in.

“I should’ve known, you can clearly see the resemblance. It’s nice to finally meet you,” she said with a shy smile and shook his hand.

“Likewise, I’m sorry it took so long. But work...” Alec replied and rubbed the back of his neck.

“That’s okay, I totally understand, really. I'm a lawyer so I know how crazy it can get,” she assured him. “I’m gonna say hi to Izzy.”

“Cool, maybe you’ll make her hurry up or we’ll be late,” he laughed. “I’ll call for an uber.”

 

They got to Pandemonium right after 9. The club was only half-full but it was too early for most of the people. The real party usually started after 11 or later. Alec was an early bird so he didn’t really understand it. One of the reasons he was partying so rarely was because of it. When he had a day off, he preferred going to bed earlier. He was staying late at work too often anyway.

Everyone else was already in the club and was sitting in their usual booth. They said their greetings and sat right next to them.

“What’s your drink of choice?” Magnus asked. “I’ll let Maia know to bring you whatever you want. You can go wild, Meliorn is at the bar tonight and he can handle even the most peculiar drinks,” he explained.

Alec almost forgot how to breathe. Magnus looked amazing. No, scratch that. He looked spectacular. And the shirt he was wearing was showing most of his dark-skinned chest which did things to Alec’s abdomen. _Seriously, how do you breathe?_

They told Magnus what they wanted to drink and he left immediately to give their orders to Maia who was one of the best waitresses in Pandemonium.

“You okay there, big brother?” Izzy asked quietly and smirked.

“Shut up,” he whispered and finally took a deep breath. This was going to be a torture.

 

Four drinks later or _was it five?_ Alec felt much more relaxed. He finally allowed himself to relax and enjoy the party. He was drinking and joking with his friends. It had been a while since they did it together as a group.

He missed his friends. Even the grumpy Raphael. Ever since he started dating Simon, he definitely changed. He was still grumpy and pretended he didn’t care about anything but he would ease off on snarky comments so that was something.

Jace was busy with Clary, they were kissing like a bunch of teenagers. Alec would tell them how disgusting it was, since they were in a public place, but they both looked so happy... He couldn’t ruin their happiness with his complaining. It was quite possible he was just jealous they could express their feelings and the other person would reciprocate those feelings. He buried that thought deep, though.

“Dancing time! We should join Izzy, Lydia and Raphael with Simon,” Magnus announced. “Hey, little birds! Enough with the make out session!” he tried to say seriously but failed miserably. “And you’re coming too, Mr. I-don’t-dance,” he looked at Alec.

“Yeah, that’s not happening,” Alec replied and took another sip of his drink.

It’s not that Alec couldn’t dance. He could. Apparently quite good, Izzy made sure of that when they were kids and she needed a dancing partner. However, dancing Magnus was too much for Alec. First of all, he had killer moves and looked so hot while dancing. And Alec could barely handle this when they were casually talking. Second of all, Magnus always liked dancing close to his friends, sometimes casually touching their hips or arms. Those were absolutely friendly touches and nobody paid much attention to them. Well, nobody except for Alec. Every time Magnus was touching him, he felt electricity going through his whole body.

“We are celebrating. Every celebration requires dancing. I’m sure it’s the law,” Magnus said seriously.

Jace and Clary only laughed, got up and went straight to start dancing next to their friends.

“I’m not really a dancer,” Alec said, hoping that Magnus would drop the subject.

“Pretty, pretty please?”

“Oh, stop it with the kitten’s eyes,” Alec tried to resist but he was a lost cause. He took the last sip out of his drink and stood up. He felt a bit dizzy. It had been a while since he drank so much so his tolerance for alcohol was much lower than he had remembered it.

Magnus took his hand and led him to the dancing floor.

At first they were dancing in the close proximity of each other but it wasn’t as bad and Alec was able to control his breathing. However, with every minute they were closer and closer to each other. Magnus put a hand on his hip and looked at him. He was clearly having a good time but he looked a bit unsure so Alec just nodded to say it was okay without any words. He wouldn't be able to speak even if he tried.

Alec closed his eyes and tried to focus on the music but Magnus’ hand on his hip was a constant reminder that the love of his life was right in front of him. He could feel Magnus’ warmth on his skin. Alec’s hand was on Magnus’ biceps, ( _wait, when did that happen?_ ). Firm muscles felt so nice under his touch.

Alec had no idea how long they had been dancing like this but at that point he couldn’t care less about the rest of the world. It was probably the alcohol that made him braver but he couldn’t stop himself. He got even closer to Magnus and felt their chests touching each other.

Alec opened his eyes immediately. He thought he fucked up. That Magnus would think that it was too much.

He looked at his friend but his eyes were closed. Alec almost breathed a sigh of relief. Magnus seemed to enjoy their current state as well. At least his actions didn’t make this awkward, thank God.

Alec clearly relaxed and closed his eyes again. He felt Magnus’ breath on his neck. It was warm and was sending impulses through Alec’s whole body and all he could think about was not to get a boner because he could never explain that and would probably die out of embarrassment. But it was the most amazing feeling.

 _Wait, what was that?!_ Magnus knee was between Alec’s thighs. Magnus pulled him up even closer to himself and Alec felt a bulge between Magnus’ legs. He exhaled hard. This wasn’t something he was prepared for. What was happening?

Magnus put a hand on Alec’s neck. Their foreheads were touching and they were breathing the same air. Alec's body was shaking just a bit.

He must’ve been dreaming. Right? This was not happening. It couldn’t. _How was this happening?!_ He dreamt about a moment like that since high school. To feel Magnus’ body against his body. To be so close to each other like nothing else existed.

“Can I?” he heard a whisper coming out of Magnus’ mouth.

Alec only managed to nod. Whatever Magnus was asking, he would always give it to him.

Magnus pressed his lips against his. It was a gentle kiss at first, as if he was testing the waters. Soon it got more passionate and they were both lost.

Alec put a hand on the small of Magnus’ back, _almost_ touching his butt. Magnus’ hand was caressing his hair. Alec wanted this moment to never end.

But then it hit him. It was just this one night. They knew each other, they were drunk so it probably seemed like a good idea in Magnus’ head. He was having fun. But it was so much more for Alec and it would stay with him forever. He had no idea how he would come back from this. He loved Magnus too much. It was hard enough when he didn't know how those amazing lips tasted.

Alec stopped the kiss. Magnus opened his eyes and looked at him puzzled.

“Magnus, I’m sorry... I- I need to go,” he said and ran out of the club.


	5. Is that what you think happened?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> here's the thing... i was writing this chapter today and then i lost like half of it. i had to rewrite it and i'm not sure which version i like more (even though they are almost the same).
> 
> i hope you'll like the chapter :) let me know what you think, i love reading your reactions  
> and thank you so much for all the kudos <3 they mean the world to me :)
> 
> you can find me on tumblr [@harryshmjr](http://harryshmjr.tumblr.com)
> 
> *the lyrics that are in the middle of a chapter are from K-Ci & JoJo - All My Life  
> (because i'm a huge fan of Single by 30 and the cover by Kina Grannis was SO good and if you haven't seen the show, you should definitely check it out on youtube)

WHAT JUST HAPPENED?! One second he was kissing the love of his life and it was the most perfect moment of his life. He finally felt those full lips on his own. The warmth of Alec’s body against his own. Time didn’t matter, everything finally felt like it was in the right place. And the second later, he heard some kind of an apology and Alec was gone.

Magnus had absolutely no idea how the situation had changed so quickly. He could’ve sworn Alec wanted the same thing as he did. They were dancing so close to each other, Magnus felt Alec’s presence in every fibre of his body. And he felt how Alec’s body was reacting to his own. Surely he couldn’t have imagined it? He also did ask for consent before doing anything. He might’ve been slightly drunk but he would never push Alec to do something against his will. He would never forgive himself.

So why did Alec run? Why did he suddenly change his mind?

Magnus took a deep breath and tried to collect his thoughts, he had to run after Alec and talk with him. If Alec would only use his words instead of running away... But as long as Magnus had known Alec, it had been extremely difficult to hear what Alec was thinking. With time Magnus learnt how to read Alec’s body language and what he was trying to say without actually saying it. He could usually guess what his best friend was thinking but he rarely heard those thoughts from him.

Magnus got used to it pretty fast and didn’t try to make Alec talk if he didn’t feel comfortable. But this situation was different. They were best friends but Magnus was in love with him and they kissed. It changed everything. If Alec didn’t want to kiss him, why did he agree? Magnus was starting to have a headache. He wasn’t sure if it was because of the alcohol or because of too many thoughts flowing inside his brain. It might've been both.

That was what Magnus had been afraid of. Did he really fuck up their friendship? He needed to talk with Alec right now. He needed to explain, maybe apologise. He would do anything to keep him in his life. Life without Alec made no sense. If he had to pretend he had no feelings, he would have to figure this out.

 

“Mr. Bane? We are supposed to repo-“ 

“Not now, Elias.” Magnus interrupted his employee rather rudely.

“But there’s this-“

“Which part of ‘not now’ don’t you understand?” Magnus knew he wasn’t nice and that Elias didn’t deserve this but at that point he couldn’t care less about this. All he could think about was Alec and that he needed to find him right now.

Magnus was always very friendly with his employees. They could always come to him and he would help them solve their problem. He appreciated people who helped him run Pandemonium, it wouldn’t be possible without them. He respected his employees so they respected him. It was a healthy relationship.

So his behaviour surprised Elias, Magnus had never been like this.

He left Elias behind and ran out of the club.

It was raining heavily but the street was full of people anyway. Pandemonium was in the area where many clubs had been located. People could go to a lot of clubs during the night if they had such a wish. Usually Magnus loved to see so many people who were trying to enjoy themselves but this time they were blocking his view. Alec could easily blend in and Magnus would never notice. The lighting wasn’t exactly helping his situation either.

He took out his phone and chose Alec’s number. It was ringing for couple of seconds and then went to the voicemail. So Alec must’ve seen him calling but decided to ignore his call. This was bad.

“Answer your freaking phone,” Magnus said under his breath when he tried to call him again but this time it went straight to the voicemail. Alec turned off his phone.

Magnus knew he had to find Alec somehow because this situation could get only worse. If he could only explain himself... or ask why Alec ran away in the first place. Maybe they could just forget about all of this.

Well, Magnus would never forget about this. How could he? All he wanted for years was to be with Alec. And this moment in the club felt like a beginning of something beautiful. Their bodies fit so well together. Their heartbeats were synchronised. They were breathing the same air. Magnus had never felt this way before.

Sure, he had been in love before. He loved Camille with all of his heart, to the point where he could forgive her anything. And he did. Multiple times. She was constantly cheating on him but would always come back to him and apologise and Magnus felt like he had to forgive her. She was coming back to him so clearly she loved him back. Or at least that's what he thought. And then she broke up with him, ran away and didn’t give him any explanation. She left his heart bleeding and in a million pieces. He never thought he would be able to feel love again.

Alec helped him recover. He was there for him whenever Magnus needed him. He used to have nightmares because of his step father. They passed away with time but when Camille suddenly left him, they came back. He was waking up in the middle of a night screaming. He saw his step father hitting his mother again and again and he couldn't do anything to stop him. He felt like a child again.

Alec was so worried about him, he could see that in his sad eyes. He hated being the reason of his worry.

Magnus always thought that he could live without love, he almost forgot what it felt like to be loved after his mother died. He thought that his broken heart would finally give up and let him just... exist. But no, he needed love in his life. He was constantly trying to find it.

Alec was staying with him as often as he could, even though he had to work. Magnus got used to having his best friend around and before he had realised, he was absolutely and completely in love with Alec Lightwood.

Alec was always sleeping on a couch and Magnus felt really bad about this. He knew Alec was there only because of his ridiculous problems. He looked so peaceful when he was sleeping. When Magnus was waking up in the middle of a night, he would always go to his living room to see Alec. Just looking at him was making him breathe more steadily. He would never stay for long because staring at someone who was asleep was extremely creepy but he also didn't want Alec to wake up and notice him.

Alec was also the one who brought him Chairman. Someone left this cute little kitten in front of the police station and Alec found him. Maryse was absolutely furious that someone thought it was okay to leave ‘some cat’ at _her_ doorstep. Alec told him that he was afraid she was ready to shoot the cat right there so he took him with himself. However, he wasn’t able to take care of him, he was always working crazy hours and that wouldn’t be fair. Small kittens deserved a lot of attention.

He brought the cat to Magnus the same night and Magnus fell in love immediately. He was always a cat person. He loved Alec for thinking of him.

With the help from Alec and the love from Chairman, Magnus healed his broken heart. Now it was working properly again.

The only thing he regretted was that he started having feelings for Alec so late in their lives. It would be so much easier when they were still in high school. Life seemed easier back then. Even if he had to deal with his step father. Now they had known each other for years and Magnus had no idea how to take the next step. And when he actually took it, it just backfired on him and he had to deal with the consequences. Why was adult life so hard?

Magnus had been looking for Alec for hours. It was true what people said about New York, though. That city never slept. Everything was open so Alec could easily hide in any cafe or McDonald’s. It was impossible to find him in such a huge city.

Magnus was considering going to Alec’s flat but if Alec wanted to run away, he wouldn’t choose his apartment. Magnus had the key and could easily go in. Without any other option left, he went to his loft. He couldn’t sleep. He was worried sick. Where the hell was Alec?

 

It was almost 9 am when he decided to call Izzy. He hadn’t wanted to worry her before but he had no idea what else he could do.

“The fuck, Magnus?” Izzy answered her phone. He knew it was risky, nobody talked to Izzy after the party. Hangover Izzy was grumpy and rude and if someone valued their lives, they knew it was better to wait till the next day. “Why the fuck would you call so early?” he heard her yawn.

“I’m really sorry, Izzy. It’s just... have you heard from Alec?” he asked and tried to sound not worried.

“No? I thought you’d left together? You clearly had lots of fun last night,” Magnus could hear the smirk in her voice. Typical Izzy.

“Well, no. Alec kinda... he ran away,” Magnus finally managed to say.

If Izzy hadn’t heard from Alec, he was clueless what he should do next. What was he supposed to do? Wait at the police station like some kind of stalker?

“That moron...” Izzy said so quietly Magnus wasn’t sure if she actually said it or he imagined it. “I mean, he always wanders around when he needs to think. But it was raining all night. So... Max? He’s not gonna talk, though. Even to me. It’s their brotherly bond or whatever.”

“Thank you, Izzy. I’m sorry again for interrupting you. Go to sleep, my dear.”

Why hadn’t he thought of Max before? It was very possible that Alec went to talk with his brother.

Max was much younger so he wasn’t hanging out with them that often but he was still the most important person in Alec’s life. He was always checking up on his brother as he was the only one still living with his parents and, for obvious reasons, Alec didn’t trust their parents. So he needed to know that everything was okay. Just until Max would go to university and live on campus.

Max was one of the smartest people Magnus had the pleasure to meet. He was also very loyal to his brother which meant that Izzy had been right. Even if he knew anything, he wouldn’t admit it.

Magnus had to try, though. Even if Alec didn’t want to see him or talk to him, he had to at least know that he was okay.

“Hello?” Magnus heard a cheerful voice.

“Hey, it’s Magnus,” he tried to sound confident but with every second he felt his confidence running away. “Okay... I need to know. Is Alec with you?”

“Why would he be?”

“Max, just- _please_. Just tell me. I need to know. If he’s with you, at least tell me he’s okay.”

“Can’t you ask him yourself?”

It wasn’t going to be easy, Magnus had known that before he chose Max’s number. But he was so tired and so worried, he couldn’t take this anymore.

“I fucked up, okay? I just need a chance to explain. Is he okay? Please, Max.”

He was begging for this short and simple information. Not knowing was killing him.

“I may or may not have this information,” he said after couple of seconds of silence. “It’s not my place to talk about him, though.”

Max was silent again, Magnus wanted to beg him again. “Prospect Park, Music Pagoda Bridge in one hour” he heard and then Max hang up.

What did it mean? Was Max gonna meet with him there? But that made absolutely no sense. Answering that simple question would be so much easier than meeting in a park. He wasn’t in the mood to question anything, though. He gave Chairman his food and looked at him apologetically. “Forgive me, I need to solve this,” he said and the cat only looked at him and started eating his food.

Magnus put on his boots and the jacket and went out. As soon as he left, he regretted not putting on something warmer. Or at least taking his scarf with him.

Prospect Park was very close to his home so he definitely did not need to go out immediately. However, he couldn’t stand being at home and feeling so helpless.

Magnus was a person who always had to be in control of a situation. And whenever he couldn’t, he was getting anxious, he couldn’t concentrate on anything and felt like the least confident person in the whole world. He knew he was being overdramatic about this but life of physical and mental abuse left him feeling like this. He couldn’t control his life for a long time so now he needed to control everything. Some people might say he should deal with this as nobody can be always in control of everything but it wasn't so bad... He could function with this. Usually.

  
_And all my life I've prayed for someone like you_  
_And I thank God that I, that I finally found you_  
_All my life I've prayed for someone like you_  
_And I hope that you feel the same way too_  
_Yes, I pray that you do love me too_  


He was walking slowly through the park. It wasn’t raining anymore but there were huge puddles on the pavements. It was windy and cold. Magnus realised that leaving the house so early was a big mistake but it was pointless to go back.

The only people who were willing to leave their houses were dog owners. He was also passed by by two runners. He could never understand how people would run outside when it was so cold and you could just stay home and drink some hot chocolate. Magnus liked exercising, he just wasn’t exactly a fan of doing that outside. Especially when it was so cold. How was that fun?

He got to the Music Pagoda Bridge 40 minutes early. Having too much time to think wasn’t very good right now. He was thinking about the events from last night and if there was any way he could fix this. Magnus knew it had probably ruined their friendship but at the same time he had no regrets. He wanted to do this for such a long time...

But maybe he could somehow convince Alec to forget about all of this and continue with their lives. It would be so hard now that he knew how Alec’s lips tasted like, how his body felt, how well they fit together. He was so in love with Alec and he couldn’t deny it. But if that was the only way to have Alec in his life, he was willing to do anything.

Ringing of his phone made him come back to reality. It was Raphael.

“Yes?” he answered.

“Where the hell did you go last night?! When you and Pretty disappeared, I had to take care of everything. And it was my night off, I might add. I had plans.” Raphael was grumpy as always.

“I’m sorry, Raph. It wasn’t meant to go that way.”

“So... you’re finally together? Am I gonna stop hearing about all of that? You know what, never mind. I don't even wanna know. It’s not why I’m calling. When you were... busy, Elias tried to tell you something. Last night someone tried to sell drugs at Pandemonium,” Raphael informed matter-of-factly.

“What?!”

As if he didn’t have enough problems in his private life and then this happened. He knew some clubs were struggling with this recently but so far Pandemonium had been safe. Until now apparently.

Raphael explained the whole situation. He trained his security guards well (of course he had to mention this) so they searched the guy. He was looking very suspicious. They found bags with a drug that none of them even heard of before. They called the police and he was taken away.

Most of the club owners wouldn’t even care about this since the situation was handled properly. But Magnus always needed to know everything about what was going on in his club. He wanted it to be a safe place and having some fuckers selling their shit was the opposite of that.

“Thank you. And again, I’m really sorry about last night.”

“Yeah, yeah. Whatever.”

Magnus had to pull himself together. Pandemonium couldn’t suffer because of his own problems. It was too important.

 

He was trying to admire the view from the bridge whilst he was waiting when he noticed two people walking in his direction. First he saw Alec. Max was really tall for his age but obviously his older brother was much taller than him.

Alec was wearing clothes from last night which meant he spent the night with Max. And since Max still lived with his parents, it meant that Alec preferred spending the night in their house instead of talking with him. If he had felt bad before, now it was so much worse. All of this was his fault.

Max was smiling softly. Alec’s hands were in the pockets of his jacket and he was looking at his feet. Magnus felt physical pain in his chest. All he wanted was to hug Alec and apologise. He couldn’t stand being the reason of this whole situation.

“Hi, Magnus,” Max said. “Okay, yeah. I’m gonna leave you to it,” he added after a minute of silence. “You can do this, big brother,” he whispered so quietly that Magnus barely caught it.

Alec looked exhausted, he definitely didn’t sleep either. He didn’t say a word since he got there. He put his hand on the bridge handrail and Magnus had the biggest urge to put his hand on Alec’s but he knew he had to keep his distance. He made feel Alec uncomfortable enough and he shouldn't make the situation even worse.

“Alec, I’m so sorry for last night,” he started as his best friend clearly wasn’t going to say anything first. “But please... just talk to me.”

“I- no. You don’t need to apologise. It’s fine.”

Magnus was afraid it was going to happen. Maybe Max managed to convince him to come here but making Alec actually talk was a completely different story.

“No, I shouldn’t have done it,” this wasn’t going anywhere. If he couldn’t apologise, if they didn’t talk, how would they fix this?

“We were drunk, having fun, it happens,” Alec replied and started staring at his shoes once again.

Magnus couldn’t breathe. Was that what Alec thought? That kiss meant everything to Magnus. He couldn’t stop thinking about it. He couldn't stop thinking about Alec. And now Alec was convinced that it was just one of those things which you sometimes do when you're drunk.

Fuck it, it was now or never. It couldn't get any worse, right? He couldn't keep this secret anymore.

“Is that what you think happened? That it was just fun?” Magnus allowed himself to put his hand on Alec’s. He didn’t take it back which Magnus took as a good sign. “You are my best friend. You are the most amazing person I had a chance to meet in my life. You’re kind, you would do anything for your siblings and friends,” Magnus felt tears in his eyes.

He took a deep breath. Alec was staring at him but didn’t say anything. “I always seem to have the right words but I'm not very good at this today..." he said and laughed softly. "My dear Alexander, we’ve known each other for years and my only regret is that it didn't happen earlier. I am irrevocably in love with you. I realise you don’t feel the same way, that’s why you ran away, right? I tried dealing with those feelings but I just-“

He didn’t get to finish his sentence. Alec put his arms on his shoulders and kissed him hard. All those scenarios going through Magnus' mind and this was the only one he hadn’t even thought about. He wasn't prepared for this.

Yet again he felt Alec's lips on his own and it felt like he was flying. Nothing around him mattered, only this man in front of him. His hand went straight to Alec's hair, it might've just become his favourite thing.

The kiss wasn’t long but very intense and when they stopped they were both out of breath.

“I must say, I did not expect this,” Magnus said and noticed a small blush on Alec’s cheeks.

“Magnus... God, I’m such an idiot. I thought- I’m literally the worst person,” he started rubbing his neck. “I’ve loved you ever since I met you. I was just afraid to say anything,” he said and lowered his head.

Magnus took Alec’s chin in his hand and made him look at him. Alec’s face was crimson and Magnus thought that Alec had never looked more beautiful. There was this innocence about him which made Magnus love him even more.

Magnus wanted to jump and scream and tell the whole world how much he loved the man in front of him. Just because he now could.

Magnus wrapped his arms around Alec’s waist and put his head on Alec’s shoulder.

“So now what?” Alec asked, hugged him tighter and kissed his forehead.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> as you can see i'm not a fan of angst so i'm gonna avoid it as much as i can (however, you can always count on some drama from me ;p)


	6. Slow down, babe

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i know i promised a fluffy chapter and IT'S THERE I PROMISE, i just needed to write the beginning of this chapter like this  
> i really hope you'll enjoy it as much as i enjoyed writing this chapter :)
> 
> you can find me on tumblr [@harryshmjr](http://harryshmjr.tumblr.com)

He ran out of the club and couldn’t breathe. He didn’t know where he could go but he needed to figure it out very soon because Magnus would definitely run after him. After all, he didn’t give any kind of explanation. And Alec wasn’t ready to explain the situation, he wouldn’t even know how.

Alec took a cab and went straight to his parents’ house. Going inside was absolutely the last thing that he wanted because that would mean meeting them. However, he had no other option. He couldn’t go back to his apartment and everyone else was still at Pandemonium.

Robert was very surprised to see him when he opened the door in the middle of a night wearing his robe.

“I’m really sorry to wake you up, I just… I need to talk with Max if that’s okay. Please,” he said without really looking at his father.

“Come on in,” Robert said. “Your mother is asleep so you don’t need to worry about this,” he added very quietly.

“Thank you.”

 

Max was asleep in his room. Alec didn’t want to wake him but he really needed to talk to him. However, as soon as Alec opened the door to Max’s room, he was awake and looking at him surprised. He rubbed his eyes and sat up in his bed.

Alec felt really bad about this but his brother was as amazing as always. He didn’t push him when Alec came in the middle of a night. He tried joking, talking about the newest comic book that he had just bought. In the morning Alec finally decided that it was time to say the real reason why he had come.

Alec told him how he had fallen in love with Magnus when they were still in high school. How much he tried to hide his feelings all that time because Magnus was never interested. How much he suffered when Magnus was with Camille and he was afraid that it was going to last forever. How much it hurt to see Magnus suffer when Camille broke his heart. How much he hated himself for being a bit happy that she was gone, even though it meant Magnus was hurting.

And finally he got to the part where he didn’t know how to function anymore because without Magnus, he felt like a flower without water. He didn’t exactly use that metaphor but it felt like it.

At first, Alec didn’t want to talk about what had happened in the club. He never felt comfortable talking about his life or his feelings but it was the main reason why he had come here.

So he did. He told Max that this had finally happened. He and Magnus kissed. He told Max that he’d known he was supposed to be happy but he couldn't. He loved Magnus too much to have this one kiss and nothing more ever again. It hurt as if someone shot him right in the heart and now he was bleeding and couldn't stop this.

Max didn’t say anything when Alec was explaining their story. He was looking at Alec and waiting until it was okay to respond.

“Why did you ran, though?” was the first thing he said. There was no judgment in his voice.

“I- I have no idea,” Alec replied and hide his face in his hands. “I can’t just tell him that. And I guess… it was just too much? This is so embarrassing.”

Max put a hand on Alec’s shoulder and he immediately looked at his younger brother.

“Alec, it’s not. Really. You’re in love and you’re afraid to say anything because you don’t know what’s gonna happen next. And not knowing is scary.”

Honestly, how did this teenage boy understand more about relationships than him? He was supposed to be the adult. The responsible one. The one who you could come to for advice. Not the other way around.

“With that being said,” Max continued, “you know Magnus. Maybe even more than he knows himself. And you guys spend every second with each other. You cook for each other, you watch shitty shows together… You’re basically married,” Max finished and smiled.

“Wha- no. That’s what best friends do,” Alec replied with a surprised face.

That was a normal thing between friends, right? Alec didn’t have much experience in that area either. His friends were either his siblings or people who behaved like his siblings so he had no idea how ‘regular people’ behaved.

“Are you sure? I mean, I don’t do that with my friends,” Max smirked.

“You’re like 12,” Alec bit back.

“Excuse you, I’m almost 18,” Max crossed his arms.

 

They both heard Maryse waking up and leaving for work. Robert must’ve told her that Alec had come to visit Max but she didn’t bother to go in and check on them. Alec didn’t expect her to. He would be more surprised if she did come to even say hello.

Max went down and brought them food that Robert prepared in the morning.

“You know, he’s sitting in the kitchen, you could just go and talk to him. Mum’s already gone,” Max said and put the tray with pancakes on his nightstand.

“And what am I supposed to say to him? He can come up as well, it’s his house,” Alec responded and started eating one of the pancakes.

Robert was a great cook, Alec was always admiring that. Maryse was never interested in preparing food, even if she knew a lot about cuisines from different countries. Robert was the one who was making the meals in their house.

However, Robert wasn’t the best at speaking his mind. Alec and him had that in common. Alec was actually very similar to his dad. They both wanted to take care of their family and Alec knew that Robert was trying. But when your wife is Maryse Lightwood, it’s not easy to express your opinions. So after a while, his job became his escape. He didn’t do much when Maryse basically disowned Alec for being gay. Robert was trying to call from time to time but Alec would usually say he was at work or busy in this or that way so their conversations never lasted long.

Alec expected that reaction from Maryse but deep down he was hoping he would have Robert on his side. So when that didn’t happen, he distanced himself from his parents completely.

He was usually avoiding coming to their house as well, he preferred spending time with Max at his, Izzy’s or Jace's flat. Max seemed to be okay with that.

 

Alec felt a bit better after his casual conversation with Max and then telling him about his feelings for Magnus. However, he hadn’t sleept for the whole night and even though he really appreciated the talk, nothing changed. Magnus was still out there, he tried calling Alec but he couldn’t answer so he just turned his phone off almost as soon as he left Pandemonium.

Avoiding the problem wasn’t any solution at all but Alec had absolutely no idea how he could explain what happened to Magnus. He had probably already figured out Alec was in love with him and all Magnus wanted was to have some fun in the club.

“Alec, we’re leaving. Come on,” Max’s voice brought him back to reality.

“What?” Alec asked surprised. “I’m tired. I look like shit. I probably need to go back home and drown in the shower or something…”

“You’re such a drama queen, big brother,” Max replied. “I talked with Magnus.”

Why would Magnus call his brother? Alec never thought that Magnus would be worried. He was so selfish, of course Magnus would worry and Alec felt horrible.

“What did you talk about?” Alec tried asking casually but he failed miserably.

“New nail polish colours," his brother replied sarcastically. "What do you think? He’s worried sick about you,” Max said seriously. “Honestly, dude. You need to talk to him. I didn’t say anything to him but now we gotta go. He’s gonna wait for us in the park.”

Alec wasn’t ready to face Magnus but Max was right. He couldn’t just let Magnus worry, he needed to apologise and tell him they would forget it ever happened and they would just go back to their regular lives. It was a good plan. 

Alec went into the bathroom to make himself at least a bit more presentable. He noticed a light hickey on his neck. The events from last night hit him hard.

Alec could still feel the taste of Magnus’ lip gloss on his lips. He could still remember the hot breath coming from Magnus. The mere thought of Magnus’ body close to his own was making him feel weak in his knees. It was like his body already got used to the touch from that amazing man and now was going through withdrawals. All Alec wanted was to be able to touch Magnus again. To kiss him again.

They went to the park by train. Alec noticed that Max wanted to say something, he was opening his mouth but he closed them immediately.

Alec didn’t blame him. If he was Max, he wouldn’t know what to say either. What was there to say? Soon they would reach their destination and Alec would have to face his biggest fear. He could lose Magnus’ friendship.

Alec noticed Magnus immediately. He was also wearing the clothes from last night. Was he really trying to find him the whole night? And Alec was just sitting with his brother and talking. As if he didn’t feel bad already.

“Hi, Magnus,” Max said. “Okay, yeah. I’m gonna leave you to it,” he added after a while. “You can do this, big brother,” he whispered so quietly that only Alec could hear it.

Alec wanted to say something, _anything_ , but he couldn't find any words that would work. He put a hand on the bridge handrail and stared at his shoes.

Then Magnus started apologizing to him. Why would Magnus apologise? He hadn’t do anything wrong. It was all his fault, not Magnus'.

“I- no. You don’t need to apologise. It’s fine,” Alec finally said because it was the only thing that he could come up with.

“No, I shouldn’t have done it.” Magnus’ voice was breaking Alec’s heart.

“We were drunk, having fun, it happens,” Alec replied and started staring at his shoes once again.

Alec couldn’t be there anymore. Just standing in front of Magnus was hard enough. He just wanted to go to that part when they would go back to their normal lives and argue who was the best drag queen of RuPaul’s Drag Race.

“Is that what you think happened? That it was just fun?” Magnus put his hand on his own. Alec couldn’t move and he definitely didn’t want to take his hand away. “You are my best friend. You are the most amazing person I had a chance to meet in my life. You’re kind, you would do anything for your siblings and friends.”

Magnus took a deep breath. Alec was staring at him but was absolutely speechless. What was happening right now? He should say something. But how could he reply to this? Magnus was too good for this world and Alec didn’t deserve him.

“I always seem to have the right words but I'm not very good at this today..." he said and laughed softly. "My dear Alexander, we’ve known each other for years and my only regret is that it didn't happen earlier. I am irrevocably in love with you. I realise you don’t feel the same way, that’s why you ran away, right? I tried dealing with those feelings but I just-“

Alec felt as if the lightning hit him and went straight through his whole body. Magnus Bane, the love of his life, just told him he was in love with him. Was he dreaming?

Alec had to check if it was real. He put his arms on Magnus’ shoulders and kissed him hard.

It was very real. Magnus smelt incredible. It was so cold in the park, yet the warmth of Magnus’ body made him forget about the horrible weather.

Magnus’ hand went to Alec’s hair and he could’ve sworn he felt electricity under his skin. He would never know how Magnus could have such an intense effect on him. Not that he was complaining.

The kiss wasn’t very long but they were both out of breath as soon as it finished.

“I must say, I did not expect this,” Magnus said and Alec couldn’t help the blush coming right into his cheeks.

“Magnus... God, I’m such an idiot. I thought- I’m literally the worst person,” Alec started rubbing his neck. “I’ve loved you ever since I met you. I was just afraid to say anything,” he said and lowered his head.

Magnus took Alec’s chin in his hand and made him look at him. Now Alec was blushing completely and he wanted to lower his head again so he could hide the colours on his face but Magnus wouldn’t let him.

Magnus wrapped his arms around Alec’s waist and put his head on Alec’s shoulder.

“So now what?” Alec asked, hugged him tighter and kissed his forehead.

Magnus’ lips were dangerously close to Alec’s neck and it made him gulp. Alec heard a soft chuckle coming out of Magnus' mouth.

“I think we should probably sleep, don’t you think?” Magnus asked and Alec felt his hot breath on his neck.

Alec wanted to reply. He really did but how could he when all his blood left his brain and was going into the lower parts of his body. He felt like a teenager again. It was so hard to hide his boners when Magnus was sitting next to him at the desk. And now he felt exactly the same.

“Alexander?” Magnus raised his head and looked at him.

“Yes, you’re right. I just- I meant in general.”

Alec didn’t get to hear Magnus’ response as his phone started ringing. It was Jace. Alec hoped it was work-related. He couldn’t stand the thought that he made so many people worry.

“You answered, okay, good,” was the first thing that Jace said. “Izzy told me you ran away? The fuck, dude?”

Alec was about to make some kind of sarcastic comment, however his brother continued. “Never mind, never mind. Mother called. When we were having fun last night, some dealer was trying to sell his product in Pandemonium.”

Alec was at her house and she decided to call Jace instead. Alec almost groaned but it wasn't really worth it. But oh God, did Magnus know? No, of course he knew. Magnus was aware of everything that was happening in his club.

“What?!” Alec screamed and looked at Magnus who was now very puzzled. “But it’s not Sebastian. We got him,” Alec added after a second.

“The drug is the same but we have another dealer. Well, he’s already in our custody, ready to be questioned. But Sebastian was right about one thing. The big player is still in the game,” Jace responded and Alec could hear how angry he was.

“So, we're back?” Alec asked.

He loved his job so much but in this very moment, when he was holding Magnus in his arms, he wanted to quit right there, right now. He didn’t want to go back to days of having only work.

Alec knew it wasn’t going to be easy to catch that woman. Clearly she was determined to sell her drug and she didn’t care about her sellers at all.

“Well, yes. But I managed to convince mother that we need to rest a bit. We’ve been working constantly for so long. So, we have today and tomorrow. Then we gotta go back,” Jace said and sighed. “Well, gotta spend that time with Clary. She is so gonna kill me, though.”

Alec laughed. “Go, make your girlfriend happy,” he said. “Oh God, no. I didn’t mean like that… I’m hanging up right now.”

As soon as Alec hung up, Magnus started laughing hysterically. He looked so pure when he was laughing. And even though Alec was embarrassed about making that innuendo unintentionally, he couldn’t help himself and started laughing as well.

They were both out of breath, hands on their stomachs.

“Alec, you’re just so precious,” Magnus managed to say whilst still laughing. He put his hand on Alec’s cheek and gave him a quick kiss.

Suddenly, all those small gestures became natural to them. As if they were doing them for years now.

Alec would sometimes imagine them together as a couple. He didn’t allow himself to do that too often as it would leave him with that empty feeling that it was only his imagination. Right now, this thought could become reality and Alec couldn’t stop smiling at this amazing man in front of him.

“So… do you wanna grab a dinner when we get some sleep?” Alec asked shyly.

“Why, Alexander, are you asking me on a date?” Magnus replied with a question and smirked.

“Yeah, I mean- only if you want to, you know…”

“My darling, I would love that,” he grinned. “There’s nothing that I would love more.”

 

Alec woke up with the biggest smile. He put two hands on his face but that didn’t help. He was truly happy. Twelve hours ago he thought his world was ruined, that his friendship with Magnus was ruined, that he fucked up one of the very few good things in his life. Instead, Magnus told him he loved him. When Alec thought about it, he still wasn’t sure if it wasn’t a dream. Alec had been in love with him for years, he thought he was a lost cause and he would die alone watching Magnus being with some other person and trying to be happy for him.

But now he was about to leave his bed and start preparing for the date. Their date. Their first date.

“Wow,” Alec said under his breath to himself because he couldn’t believe his luck.

He took a long, hot shower. When he came back home, he was too tired to do that.

Alec felt like he should be annoyed that he was going back to work so soon. That he wouldn’t have as much time with Magnus as he would like to. But it wasn’t the first time Alec was working a case and they still made sure to see each other all the time. Clearly now they should make even a bigger effort?

Alec was drying up his hair with a towel and going through his wardrobe.

The dinner was supposed to be at Taki’s Diner so nothing fancy. They didn’t want to make a big deal out of this. They were best friends for years, they knew each other, they didn’t need to impress each other with some small talk and expensive meals. The only thing that mattered at that point was to try and figure out what to do next.

Okay… But what if they were great as friends but they wouldn't work as anything more? You could hear about situations like that all the time. People thought they had loved each other, started dating and it totally backfired on them. The fact that Alec had basically zero experience in the dating field didn’t help his nerves either. What if he disappointed Magnus?

Alec took out his phone immediately and called his sister.

“Izzy, send help. This is an emergency,” he didn’t even bother to say hello or ask how she was doing. He was too nervous to be polite.

“So you are alive,” Izzy said sarcastically. “Thanks for not answering your phone, jackass. Also, you and Magnus? The fuck?! And about time, big brother.”

Alec was tired of people asking him that question. How was that anyone’s business what he was or wasn’t doing with Magnus? His family and friends were definitely too invested in his life. That couldn’t possibly be normal.

“Please, not now. I am dying here,” he almost begged.

“What’s wrong?” Izzy asked seriously this time.

Alec took a deep breath. How was he supposed to get information fast without giving away too much information? Well, there wasn’t any way around this. He had to explain the situation at least in general terms.

“I kinda maybe probably have a date with Magnus,” he finally said.

Izzy squeaked so loudly Alec had to take his phone away from his ear. His sister was a person who could sometimes overwhelm people with her reactions. Their group had already known this and they were ready for her freaking out. They also loved her very much for being so happy for them.

“Are you done?” Alec asked after almost a minute.

“Alec, estoy orgullosa de ti! Finalmente! Okay, okay. I’m cool, I’m cool now. What’s going on?” she asked cheerfully.

Alec knew Izzy was the best person to ask that question, she was the best fashion journalist in town and one of the best journalists in the whole country. She was constantly receiving awards for her work. Izzy was also visiting the whole world to see different trends because she believed that people should see that Western fashion wasn’t the only one out there.

One of her best works was the whole issue of the magazine focused on the women’s fashion from every single country in the South America. She spent almost half a year there collecting information, talking with women and doing many photoshoots with Lindsay who was one of her favourite photographers.

Fashion industry in the whole world was interested in her articles and she was doing many interviews talking about what clothes, jewellery, makeup and hairstyles women in those countries were wearing.

Alec was extremely proud of his little sister. She was doing what she loved and she was absolutely the best at it.

“What am I supposed to wear?” Alec finally said defeated.

Izzy started chuckling. “This is your emergency?”

“It’s not funny! Magnus will look stunning as always and you know I know nothing about fashion,” he yelled.

“That I do know. Okay, where are you, guys, going?” she asked matter-of-factly. “No, I don’t wanna stalk you,” she added fast because she knew Alec would question her. “I need to know how formal it’s gonna be.”

“Well, we’re going to Taki's. So… not formal at all?”

“Of course you’d go there. You are so meant for each other,” she giggled. “Well, it may be not very formal but it is a date. Let me think a second.”

Alec loved that Izzy was able to give him advice on clothes he should wear without even being in his flat. She was well aware of the content of his wardrobe. After all, she was the main reason it could barely close. If it wasn’t for her, Alec would probably have like three shirts and two pairs of jeans.

“Okay, I know,” Izzy said after only a minute. She really was that good. “Choose those black skinny jeans. Don’t even try to groan, you look great in them. Also, wear that green shirt with flowery design. It brings up the colour of your eyes well. But for the love of God, use an iron,” she almost groaned.

“Okay, okay. I will. Anything else?” Alec asked and was already going through his wardrobe looking for the clothes that Izzy was mentioning.

“Leave at least one button open and try to put some product in your hair, it’ll look much better. You can go for a ‘messy look’ but the one that is supposed to look like that and not because you woke up and didn’t even bother to comb your hair. And lastly, wear your black boots. That should work well for a casual outfit,” Izzy finished clearly proud with her choice.

“You are the best, Izzy. I love you,” Alec said immediately.

“Yeah, yeah. I know. Answer your phone next time I call, though! And use protection!”

“I am so hanging up right now, bye.”

Finding clothes didn’t take much time, however Alec spent way too long trying to iron his shirt. He also burnt himself twice and cursed a lot. Now he had two red burning marks on his left hand. 

He also spent quite a long while doing his hair because it didn’t look the way he wanted it to look. Alec was usually used to it but this time he wanted Magnus to see that he put an effort.

Alec knew that Magnus didn’t care about what clothes he was wearing because Magnus knew very well that Alec absolutely hated fashion and buying clothes. With that being said, he couldn’t just show up wearing one of his old sweaters or the clothes he was wearing to work.

Alec put on his jacket and took the last look at himself in the mirror and decided that it wasn’t gonna get any better so he might leave a bit earlier and take a walk to Taki’s instead of taking the train. It wasn’t that far away anyway.

He was walking slowly and getting more nervous with each step. When he reached Taki’s he could barely breathe.

Alec had never been so nervous in his life before and he had no idea why it was happening. He and Magnus met there so many times he lost count years ago. And Magnus told him he loved him. Yet, Alec still couldn’t ease his nerves. That feeling that he was never good enough was always there with him. He was used to it by now and was very good at pretending it wasn’t really there. But now his whole life was upside down. He dreamt about this moment for years and now, when it was finally happening, he was about to pass out.

He sat down in the booth and tried to calm himself but nothing really worked.

“Hello, my dear Alexander,” he heard a voice behind him.

It was Magnus. If Alec couldn’t breathe before, now it was absolutely impossible. Magnus looked astonishing. He was wearing a deep red tunic with golden designs embroiled into it and jeans that were showing his ankles slightly. His hair was up and the tips were blonde. Magnus added many necklaces, including the one with a tusk which he had got from Alec for his birthday years go. Magnus would always wear it as he claimed it was his absolute favourite one. There was a big silver ring on his right hand.

Alec suddenly felt very underdressed. Deep down he knew he was being irrational. After all, it was Izzy who helped him choose the clothes but nobody looked as good as Magnus. Ever.

Alec managed to stand up and he stood right in front of Magnus. Magnus gave him a quick kiss on the cheek and sat down. Alec followed him.

Magnus was smiling nonstop which made Alec feel a bit better but it was still hard to breathe.

“Oh, I’m so happy we’re finally doing this. Honestly, how could we wait so long?” Magnus asked and laughed softly.

“Yeah, I don’t know,” Alec replied shakily.

Magnus looked at him without a word for a second but then continued talking about anything and everything. Apparently Alec was the only one nervous.

Alec tried to listen to everything that Magnus was saying before the waitress came to them to take their orders but he couldn’t focus at all.

He almost knocked the saltshaker over.

“Hey,” Magnus stopped and put his hand on Alec’s.

Alec looked at Magnus but couldn’t look right into his eyes. This was not going as originally planned.

“Alec, look at me. It’s okay,” Magnus said with a gentle smile.

“I’m sorry, I- I’m sorry,” Alec blurred out and felt his face blushing.

“Hey,” Magnus whispered and reached across the table to touch Alec’s cheek. “It’s us, okay? I’m nervous too.”

“Yeah, right. You’ve been casual ever since you got here and you can talk, not like me,” Alec said still nervous but visibly more comfortable.

Magnus’ touch had always worked amazingly on his nerves and it wasn’t different this time.

“And why do you think I'm doing this?” Magnus laughed. “I can’t shut up because of how nervous I am.”

Alec wanted to reply but the waitress finally arrived. It was a young girl who worked there for at least two years. She would often be their waitress and would casually talk with them while taking their orders.

“Magnus, Alec. Nice to see you again at Taki’s. Have you decided what you wanna order?” she asked.

“Hello, Maureen,” said both of them at the same time.

Maureen giggled a little and waited patiently.

“New York-style pizza?” Magnus asked and looked at Alec with his brows raised.

“Cool,” Alec responded. “And maybe two beers,” he added and Magnus snorted a bit.

“Sure thing, guys,” Maureen wrote their order in her notepad and walked towards the kitchen.

 

It didn’t take long for them to get their pizza and beers. Alec took a hold of his and drank about half of it in one swallow. He was much calmer now but his nerves were still acting out. He needed to loosen up.

“Slow down, babe,” Magnus looked at him and chuckled.

 

As soon as they started eating, everything went much more smoothly. They completely forgot that this was supposed to be a date. They enjoyed their company and talked about all random things. Magnus was discussing new themes for the parties that he planned to organise in Pandemonium in the near future, Alec was discussing his current case and that they had a new suspect and that tomorrow would be his last day before he had to go back to work.

The only thing that was different from their usual meetings at Taki’s were the casual touches. Now everything was out in the open, and they could both feel much more comfortable.

Before they realised, Magnus moved and sat right next to Alec. Their arms were touching and even though it was just the simplest touch, it was so much more to Alec. Magnus was so close he could smell his cologne. The smell hit him hard and his head felt dizzy. But it wasn’t just the smell, it was Magnus. This man had such a strong effect on Alec.

Alec’s hand was on his thigh and Magnus casually put his own on Alec’s hand. Alec felt his heart in his throat and looked at Magnus who was smiling at him. They were getting closer to each other and finally their lips met again.

It was one of those innocent kisses that conveyed so much love and affection. Magnus cupped Alec’s cheek. 

Alec didn’t want to stop the kiss but they both needed some air. Their foreheads were still touching and they both had the biggest grins on their faces.

“I love you,” they said at the same time.

 

They paid for the food and drinks. They also left a big tip for Maureen because she was definitely the best waitress and she made their night very special.

They left Taki’s and Magnus’ hand immediately found Alec’s. 

Alec looked at their joined hands and smiled. Again. He smiled so much during their date that his face muscles started to hurt but it was the best feeling in the world.

“Can I walk you home?” Alec asked shyly.

“You know I don’t need protection, right?” Magnus responded and winked. “I would love for you to walk me out,” he added and gave Alec a quick kiss.

They walked in silence into Magnus’ loft. But it was a very comfortable silence. The one where there was no need to say any words, all that mattered is the company you were in.

 

Before Alec realised, they were already at Magnus’ place. He didn’t want to leave just yet. Alec wanted to spend every second with Magnus. They had already wasted enough time.

Alec was the one who started kissing Magnus first this time. It started slowly but soon it got very intense. His hand was on Magnus’ neck and he really wanted to put it into Magnus’ perfect hair. He didn’t want to ruin it, though.

Magnus put his hand on Alec’s lower back. Their bodies were dangerously close to each other. They were both breathing hard and none of this was enough. They needed more.

“Wanna come in for a drink?” Magnus managed to ask between the kisses.

“Yeah.”


	7. Make me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i really have no excuse for this chapter but it was long time coming so i hope i gave justice to it :)  
> just a shameless smut with some feelings ^_^
> 
> thank you again for all the kudos and the comments! <3  
> they are my biggest motivation to keep writing <3
> 
> you can find me on tumblr [@harryshmjr](http://harryshmjr.tumblr.com)

Magnus was thanking all gods, that may or may not exist, in his mind that his neighbours hadn’t decided to use the elevator at that particular moment because they would have been witnesses to a heavy make out session between him and Alec. And Magnus highly doubted he would be able to stop even if someone actually did come into that elevator.

He waited too long for this and he wanted to taste those full lips the whole evening. Nobody could stop him from this right now. Not even a fire alarm.

Alec was wearing his favourite shirt. Magnus made a mental note to thank Izzy for making him wear it.

 

Magnus lived on the last floor of the building so it took a while to get to his flat and neither of them was patient enough to wait until they reached Magnus’ floor so they had a chance to explore each other’s bodies just a little bit.

Alec’s hands were on Magnus’ hips and Magnus put his arms around Alec’s neck. Alec’s long fingers were slightly slipping under Magnus’ tunic. They were cold on his warm skin and sending shivers through his whole body.

Alec’s bottom lip was between Magnus’ lips and he couldn’t resist from sucking it and biting it a little bit which made Alec moan quietly.

Magnus felt his blood going from his brain straight into the lower parts of his body just because of this single quiet moan. He was almost afraid to think what would happen when they actually got to his flat. Just that thought made him cry with pleasure.

Magnus pushed his tongue inside of Alec’s mouth and Alec opened up before him easily. He put one of his hands into Alec’s hair and pulled it slightly which earned him another quiet moan.

Magnus was about to move to his new favourite thing which was kissing Alec’s neck but they reached Magnus' floor. He barely heard the bell that announced it and stopped kissing Alec with a groan. Alec only laughed softly.

Magnus started reaching for the keys and Alec was standing right behind him, his hands were still on his hips. Alec’s body was so close to his and he could feel that he wasn’t the only one affected by this make out session in the elevator. _How he couldn't wait to get his hands on that bulge._

Alec’s hands were wandering more under his shirt and now he was the one giving Magnus neck kisses. Hot breaths on his skin sending shivers through his body definitely didn’t help.

Alec bit Magnus’ earlobe slightly and Magnus almost dropped his keys.

“Alec,” he managed to say without a moan. Magnus wasn't sure how he actually managed to do that. He was ready to turn around and have his way with Alec right in the hallway.

However, Alec couldn’t be so easily fooled. One of his hands was moving slowly down Magnus' hip, then thigh, too close to the place where Magnus actually wanted it.

“I can’t open the door like that,” Magnus added and Alec laughed again.

 

As soon as the door closed behind them, Magnus didn’t feel any restraints anymore. He pinned Alec to the wall and started kissing him.

He didn’t, however, let Alec touch him. Now it was his time for the sweet revenge.

He took his hands and put them right above Alec’s head. The grip wasn’t tight and Alec could break free easily but he obviously enjoyed this too much.

Magnus’ leg was between Alec’s and he was slowly circling his hips earning more moans from the man pinned down to the wall. With every minute they were getting louder and appeared more often.

Alec’s eyes were closed, pure pleasure showing on his face and Magnus couldn’t help and admire this view for a second or two.

Alec opened his eyes and stared back at Magnus.

“What happened?” he asked a bit nervously.

“Oh nothing, my love. Just admiring your beautiful face,” he smirked and noticed that Alec was blushing.

He would never get tired of making him blush, it gave him too much satisfaction.

 

Magnus’ skilled fingers started opening Alec’s shirt one button at a time, revealing all those perfectly shaped muscles that always left him breathless in the gym. Now he could admire them without being afraid of being caught. He could touch and caress, bury his fingers in the chest hair.

The shirt landed somewhere on the floor but they didn't care where. They were both panting and all they could see was the other man.

Magnus touched Alec’s chest with his right hand and the left one was moving down, stopping at the hard abs. Alec would never admit this but he worked really hard at the gym and the results were very impressive.

Magnus bent a little and took Alec’s nipple in his mouth. His tongue was teasing slowly as if he was testing the waters to see what would give Alec the most pleasure.

Alec’s breath caught in his throat and he closed his eyes again. He hit his head against the wall but not with too much force.

Magnus’ left hand went south even more and touched Alec’s dick through his pants.

“Magnus,” Alec moaned and Magnus could feel that he was the one who helped him stand at this point.

He didn’t want to stop but he knew that if they didn’t, they would both come in their pants and that wasn’t what he had planned for this evening.

Oh no, he wanted to spend this whole night exploring Alec’s body, discover his weak points, what made him shiver, what made him moan and groan. That hot symphony of sounds coming out of Alec who was usually so reserved. He wanted Alec to scream out of pleasure.

Magnus gave Alec a quick peck on his lips and took his hand.

“Come,” he said and Alec opened his eyes slowly, clearly struggling with breathing.

 

They went into Magnus’ bedroom. They were both shy at the beginning as it was the first time they had a chance to act on their desires. It passed very quickly. Why would they be nervous? It was them. Alec and Magnus. And it was finally happening.

“You-“ Alec pointed at Magnus. “Way too many clothes.”

“Don’t be shy then, my dear Alexnder,” Magnus replied with a devilish smile.

He put his arms up and Alec was in front of him. He started slowly removing Magnus’ shirt, kissing every inch of his stomach, then chest. As soon as his shirt was thrown somewhere on the floor as well, Alec started kissing Magnus’ collarbone. He was sucking in the same place which would definitely leave a mark. Magnus would wear it with pride.

Their chests were touching. Their muscles tensing up more and more.

Magnus pushed Alec down on his bed and admired the view for a short while. Alec’s beautiful hazel eyes were watching him closely.

Magnus couldn’t believe his own luck. Finally, he had this amazing man in his bed and they had all the time in the world to do what they had wanted to do for so long.

He climbed up on the bed and his body was hovering over Alec’s.

Magnus cupped Alec’s face and they were kissing yet again. At first Magnus tried not to touch Alec again, he wanted to make this as long as possible but Alec put a hand on his back and pulled him closer.

Magnus had no idea how much time had passed but their breathing was very rapid.

His hips started moving without him even thinking about it. The perfect circles that were clearly driving Alec mad. He was grinding against him gently but each move was deliberate and making Alec wriggle in the sheets. Magnus held his hands above his head and started licking his other nipple.

He was moving down oh so slowly, leaving the trail of gentle kisses on Alec’s chest, then stomach, he kissed both of his hips and then moved up again.

“Is this okay?” Magnus asked and looked at Alec.

“I-“ Alec stuttered.

“What’s wrong, my love?” Magnus asked visibly worried.

Did he do anything wrong? Alec seemed to enjoy this but he was going through every possible scenario in his head. Magnus would never want to make Alec do anything against his will.

“I just- I’ve never done this, okay?” Alec managed to say and covered his face with hands.

Magnus raised a little bit, tilted his head a little and looked at Alec.

“What do you mean?” he asked.

“This so fucking embarrassing.”

“Hey, hey. It’s okay,” Magnus added quickly and cupped his cheek. “You know you can tell me everything,” he added and smiled softly.

Alec took a deep breath and tried looking into Magnus’ eyes.

“I’ve- I’ve never had actual sex, okay?” he finally said and covered his face with his hands for the second time. “I did... stuff. But not the actual thing...” his voice was muffled because of the hand on his face.

Magnus smiled. All the worry drifted away. He took Alec’s hand in his own and kissed him softly.

“It’s okay. We don’t have to hurry, there’s no need to. I love you for telling me,” he kissed him again and rested his forehead against Alec’s.

“I- I ruined everything. I’m so sorry,” Alec said quietly.

 _This precious angel_. Magnus couldn’t stop smiling. He wanted Alec to feel comfortable. He would never pressure him. And the thought of being Alec’s first one day made him feel warm inside.

He took Alec’s hand and put it on the bulge in his pants. Alec’s eyes opened wide.

“You didn’t ruin anything, my darling,” Magnus kissed him again. “We’ll take it slow we can still do... stuff,” he added with a wink.

Alec’s face was red yet again. “Oh shut up,” he chuckled.

“Make me,” Magnus replied with a smirk.

“You’re an idiot,” Alec said.

Magnus didn’t get a chance to reply because he was being kissed again. He was grinding again and very soon they were both breathless once more.

Magnus' moves were still so slow. He opened the button of Alec’s jeans and looked at him, silent asking for permission on Magnus’ face. Alec nodded.

Magnus struggled with the jeans for a short while but the mission was successful. The jeans and Alec’s socks landed on the floor just like the rest of their clothes.

Now Magnus could admire Alec with almost no clothes at all. The only thing blocking the perfect view were Alec’s briefs.

“Are you sure? We don’t have to do anything tonight,” Magnus asked one more time before he moved on to removing the last piece of Alec’s clothing.

“I want to,” Alec replied and smiled.

Magnus left another trail of gentle kisses on Alec’s whole body. His mouth ghosted a bit above Alec’s dick. He heard Alec’s breath caught in his throat. Alec was struggling with trying not to make sounds.

This man beneath him was so gone and they didn’t even get a chance to do much yet.

Magus put two fingers under the waistband of Alec’s briefs and slowly removed the last piece of clothing.

Magnus’ imagination was always going wild and was providing him with images of naked Alec in different positions every time he was taking a shower or was thinking about Alec right before going to sleep. But yet again he was not prepared.

At this point all he really wanted to do was to take Alec’s dick into his mouth and praise him.

He decided to do something else.

“Turn around,” Magnus said. “Do you trust me?”

“You know I do, Magnus” Alec said with confidence and did what he was told.

Magnus was hovering over Alec. He was still wearing his own jeans and they were very tight. Usually he loved this because they were showing off his ass _(and he was very proud of it, thank you very much)_ but at this point it was a bit uncomfortable with his very hard dick. The view of Alec's perfect body was affecting him even more than he thought it would have.

He kissed Alec’s right shoulder and then moved on to the left one, he left kisses between his shoulder blades, the small of his back and then he gave a quick kiss on the right and left buttock. He even bit the right one gently _(sue him)_.

Alec made a surprised sound but didn’t turn back.

Magnus took it as a good sign. He positioned himself between Alec’s legs, spread his cheeks and licked Alec’s entrance.

“Magnus, wha-“ Alec tried to say but didn’t get a chance to finish the sentence cause the moan came out of his mounth.

Magnus smirked a little and gently kissed Alec's ass again. Then he worked his way into Alec's entrance again. At first it was slow, painfully slow, just so Alec could get used to the feeling. He was circling his tongue, sucking and even nibbling. Finally he put his tongue inside. The sounds Alec was making was going straight to Magnus’ dick so he sped up. 

Alec was wriggling, looking for some kind of friction and sweet release.

It wasn’t the time yet.

Magnus stopped and heard Alec groan.

“Why did you stop?” Alec breathed out. He was clutching the sheets.

“Turn around, let me look at you,” Magnus told him.

Alec did what he was told.

Magnus touched Alec’s face and looked him right into the eyes. Alec was staring back at him, his face was pink and his chest was moving up and down fast.

Magnus bent over a little bit and reached out to the top drawer. He pulled out a bottle of lube.

Alec’s eyes followed his every movement the whole time. He was being silent but didn’t look away.

“I love you, Alec,” Magnus said tenderly and kissed Alec.

“I love you too, Magnus. And I trust you,” he replied and touched Magnus’ face.

The feelings going through Magnus were so overwhelming. Sure, he was so horny and so thirsty for the man lying in front of him and he couldn’t wait to find some release on his own. But this moment was about Alec, cherishing him, making him feel good. Making him feel things he had never had a chance to feel. Magnus loved Alec with his whole heart and soul and he wanted to show it to him for the rest of his life. No more hiding. Just love.

Magnus opened the bottle and squeezed a good amount of the lube onto his hands. He rubbed it for a while to warm it up.

They were kissing again. At this point it was more licking and sucking but neither of them complained about this.

They were both panting. Magnus moved to his another favourite activity because Alec’s neck looked too delicious not to taste it again.

Magnus’ left hand touched Alec’s dick. He stroked it slowly.

“Magnus,” Alec breathed out and his back arched.

“I got you,” Magnus whispered right into his ear and Alec moaned sending electricity through Magnus' whole body. _Damn those tight jeans._

All the tension was leaving Alec's body with each stroke. He wasn’t trying to stay quiet anymore. This was too much for both of them.

Magnus knew Alec was very close, his movements were getting more rapid. Alec’s legs were spread wide.

He kissed Alec and slowly pushed one finger into Alec’s entrance.

Alec’s eyes were wide open as soon as he felt the intrusion.

Magnus kissed him again, his left hand still working on Alec’s dick when the finger of his right hand was slowly moving in and out.

After a short while Alec relaxed and Magnus started moving faster, hitting his prostate with every other push.

“Mag- aghhhh. I’m-“ Alec tried talking but was a beautiful mess thanks to Magnus’ skilled hands.

“Come for me, baby” Magnus pleaded and Alec was gone.

He came hard on Magnus’ hand and his own stomach.

Magnus put his finger into his mouth and licked Alec’s cum. It was one of those things that he had dreamt about for a long time and it tasted even better than he could ever imagine.

Alec was panting, trying to catch his breath.

“That felt so- Thank you.”

Magnus smiled and gave him a quick kiss. “You don’t ever have to thank me.”

Alec opened his eyes and smiled back. “How are you still wearing your pants, though?” he asked and raised his eyebrow.

“Well, it’s not exactly like I could fit any underwear whilst wearing those jeans so you know...” Magnus raised his eyebrow.

Alec flipped them over so fast that Magnus didn’t get a chance to react.

They were kissing once more, Alec working on the button of Magnus’ jeans.

It didn’t take him a long time. Alec slowly removed the last item of Magnus’ clothing and looked at him.

“Wow,” he said so quietly that Magnus barely caught it. 

Alec’s body was hovering over Magnus’, their dicks almost touching each other. Alec was already semi-hard again which was very impressive if Magnus could say so himself.

Alec caught Magnus’ nipple between his teeth and bit it gently which took Magnus by surprise.

Alec was very eager in everything he was doing and it wasn’t any different this time. He was licking Magnus' nipple until it got really hard.

There was no way he could know this but Magnus was very sensitive in this area so very quickly he almost forgot how to breathe.

Alec was moving slowly, tongue sliding down the whole body, going down the happy trail.

He took Magnus’ dick into his hand and stopped for a second. He was breathing heavily, the hot air brushing against his dick. He gave him an experimental lick from the base up and down the entire shaft. He kissed the head and licked off the precum. He licked it again, rolling his tongue around all sides.

Magnus’ breath caught in his throat as soon as he felt the warm feeling of Alec’s tongue. _Was that even real? Was he dreaming? Because it already felt too good to be true._

Alec opened his mouth wide and took all of him in one go. He started working his lips, Magnus was incredibly hard because of their previous activities. Now he felt like he was about to explode any second.

Alec might have been technically a virgin but this man wasn’t clueless, he had some skills and was about to show them off. Magnus’ head was spinning.

Alec was moving agonisingly slow, up and down, back and forth, tongue tracing the large vein, making Magnus squirm and beg for more.

“Fuck, Alec, just like that” he moaned and buried his hand in Alec’s hair, pulling it up a bit. Alec moaned right with his lips around his dick and Magnus screamed.

Alec sped up and grabbed Magnus’ balls gently. He was massaging them slowly, bringing Magnus right to the edge.

He pulled out with a loud and wet noise, so hot. Magnus would make a snarky comment if he could talk.

“So good,” was the only thing that Magnus would moan in that moment.

Alec smirked and went back to licking Magnus’ shaft, his skilled tongue swirling in every direction. His hand was right at the base, moving when he was taking Magnus into his mouth yet again. The sweet torture.

Without any warning, Alec deep throated him, rubbing his hands on Magnus’ stomach, chest and thighs.

Just when Magnus thought he couldn’t take this anymore and that he would explode right there, Alec looked at him. Those long eyelashes could have fooled anyone. Anyone might believe this man was innocent, Magnus had already known how far away from the truth it was.

Alec made a ‘mmmm’ noise, sending vibrations through Magnus’ whole dick.

“Fuck,” Magnus screamed. “I’m gonna come, Alec. I can't-”

Alec pulled out again. “What’s stopping you?” he asked, smiled slyly and started moving faster.

“Alec, oh God,” Magnus’ back arched and a moment later he was coming hard right into Alec’s mouth. He was screaming loudly Alec’s name and many profanities, some of them weren't even in English.

Alec pulled out for the last time and looked at Magnus. He was smiling, licking his lips whilst looking right into Magnus’ eyes.

“You taste great,” he said and kissed Magnus.

Magnus felt himself in Alec’s mouth. Their tongues were moving slowly and Magnus pulled him closer to himself. Their legs were entwined, Alec’s arm lying across Magnus’ chest. He was caressing Magnus’ cheek gently.

“That was... amazing,” Magnus managed to stay, even though he still had problems with breathing. He kissed Alec’s forehead.

They stayed like this for what seemed to be forever, not really saying anything, just slowly caressing each other. Being together was everything they needed.

“It feels so unreal,” Alec said quietly, not looking at Magnus.

“What do you mean, my dear?” Magnus asked confused.

“All of this. Us, together.”

“Hey, look at me,” Magnus tipped Alec’s chin. “Us, all of this... This is the only thing that matters. You are the love of my life, Alexander. I will always make sure to remind you of this. You are my everything,” Magnus said and kissed him slowly.

“I just- I love you so much,” Alec responded. “Let’s go take a shower.”

“How about a bath?”

 

Magnus took Alec’s hand and walked him to the bathroom. He turned the tap on and the bathtub started filling with hot water. Magnus felt like they needed a lazy bubble bath.

He stepped inside the bathtub and Alec followed him, leaning against Magnus’ chest.

Magnus took a sponge and began to wash Alec’s body, leaving kisses wherever he could reach. He focused on the neck because he would never get tired of feeling the shivers under Alec’s skin. Goosebumps so visible, even though they were both in the hot water.

Magnus bit gently Alec’s earlobe. His hand touching his chest was moving down lazily. Magnus grabbed Alec’s dick and started stroking him slowly.

Alec’s breathing sped up, he closed his eyes.

“Magnus,” he breathed out and his hand reached out to Magnus’ hair.

They were kissing once more.

It didn’t take him long and he was coming again with Magnus’ name on his lips.

 

They got out of the bath soon after. Laughing and talking about everything and anything.

They fell asleep pressed against each other, Alec’s arms wrapped around Magnus.

This was an amazing first date.


	8. Good morning, my love

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you for all the comments and kudos on the previous chapter, they mean the world to me
> 
> you can find me on tumblr [@harryshmjr](http://harryshmjr.tumblr.com)

Alec got woken up by the light coming through the huge windows in Magnus’ bedroom. He didn’t open his eyes, though. He was afraid that if he opened them, he would realise that he was lying in his own bed, all by himself and everything that happened last night was just another dream about Magnus.

However, reality struck him fast. 

His arms were wrapped around a very muscular body. Streaks of someone’s hair were tickling his nose softly. Alec smiled. 

He opened his eyes lazily and almost breathed a sigh of relief. Magnus was snuggled up right next to him. He was breathing steadily and looked so beautiful.

Alec loved Magnus in his full makeup but seeing him without any makeup or jewellery made him feel warm inside. Magnus didn't allow many people to see him like that. He didn't let many people see the real him very often. It was something that you had to earn.

Alec smiled once again and kissed the back of Magnus’ head.

“You’re poking me in the back, my dear,” Magnus chuckled. His voice was heavy with sleep, his eyes still closed.

“I’m sorry,” Alec was embarrassed, he didn’t even realise he was hard.

“Oh, no. Nothing to be sorry about, I’m definitely not complaining,” Magnus replied and wiggled his butt a bit and in return he received a groan from Alec.

Magnus turned around so he could face Alec. “Good morning, my love,” he added and kissed him.

It was a lazy kiss but the one that conveyed so much love and affection, all emotions that were going inside of them.

“Good morning, Magnus,” Alec replied. He couldn't stop smiling.

He closed his eyes again and wrapped himself against Magnus. He didn’t want to leave their love cocoon.

They were lying there for what seemed like another hour, just breathing steadily and caressing each other’s bodies gently. Their movements were so innocent and so full of love and care. How did they manage to keep their hands away from each other for so long? They should both get a medal.

Alec wanted time to stop.

He loved his job, he really did. But now he had Magnus and the case that seemed impossible to crack. He was tired and the only thing that made sense was being with Magnus, talking with Magnus, kissing Magnus, touching Magnus and being touched by Magnus.

And God, he had missed on so much because he had waited for so long to say that he was in love with Magnus but last night was the best night of his life.

He had been thinking about so many things for years, he had been imagining different scenarios in his head and finally he was able to act on his desires.

Alec was ecstatic just to kiss Magnus. He was always mocking people who were talking about butterflies in their stomachs. But being with Magnus, being able to touch him... He definitely understood the feeling. Not that he would ever admit it out loud. Especially to Izzy or Jace. He would never hear the end of it.

Alec thought it would be impossible for him to love Magnus even more. He was wrong.

Magnus was the kindest and most understanding person. He didn’t push Alec, he was there for him, he cherished his body. Nobody had ever done this for Alec before.

Oh and the things Magnus did to him... Alec was blushing just by thinking about them.

It was true that Alec was technically a virgin, however he did some things with random guys that he never called again. But all of those moments felt so... technical. It was just to get rid of some sexual tension when he couldn’t take it anymore.

It was completely different with Magnus. Of course it was them being thirsty for each other, nobody would even try to deny that. Alec had been always thinking of having sex with Magnus which could get quite embarrassing when he hadn’t managed to stop himself fast enough. 

But their synchronised bodies, careful touches, looking into each other’s eyes and finally ripping off each other’s clothes... everything was done with so much love. It was a little bit overwhelming. Alec never believed he could ever have that. He still wasn’t completely convinced that this was actually happening. Him and Magnus? Together? In the same bed? Sharing all those small moments that meant so much?

And obviously giving Magnus a blowjob and the sounds Magnus was making, all the moans and groans, giving him the pleasure that he deserved... That was just another thing. Oh how Alec wanted to take him into his mouth once again.

“You know what,” Magnus said after a while, “I could totally bottom. If that’s what you’re afraid of. I just want you to feel comfortable when you’re ready,” Magnus finished, gave Alec a quick peck on the lips and jumped out of bed. “Breakfast?”

Magnus flashed his ass in front of Alec's eyes, put on his robe that barely covered him and left the bedroom right after.

Alec was shocked, to say the least. He blinked couple of times but he couldn’t move anyway. Did that actually just happen? Did Magnus actually say those words so casually and out loud?

And the fact that he showed Alec his butt definitely didn’t help the situation.

Alec needed a couple of minutes to calm down. Because as soon as he saw that ass, blood in his body went immediately to his dick. _Fuck._

He put on his underwear and his jeans. He didn’t even bother to button them, he just stormed out of the bedroom to the kitchen as soon as he was done. Magnus was preparing coffee.

“You can’t just say something like that and then leave to make some pancakes!” Alec almost screamed. He didn’t want to shout because he definitely wasn’t angry, he was just completely surprised by Magnus telling him this and not elaborating more. So he was emotional. _Sue him._

“What do you mean?” Magnus asked and looked at him over his shoulder, totally innocent. “Oh, you want pancakes? I don’t think I have flour, though,” he added and started going through his cupboards.

“Magnus!”

“Yes, Alexander? Why are you shouting, my dear?” Magnus finally turned around and looked at him properly.

“I- I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to. You just- you surprised me and then you left and I just-“ Alec started stuttering.

Magnus approached him slowly. Every step he took was with grace, almost as if he flew. _How did he even do that?_

He put hands on Alec’s hips and looked him in the eyes. “It was not my intention to confuse you,” he said quietly, “I really did mean it when I said I want you to be always comfortable and I want to have sex with you only when you are truly ready, never before that. I was only giving you another option. You’ve never done it before and the thought might scare you, I understand that,” Magnus finished and touched Alec’s cheek and Alec immediately leaned into his hand, closing his eyes.

He loved Magnus so much.

“So, what do you want for breakfast?” Magnus asked after a minute of silence.

“I don’t know about my favourite food but I definitely found a favourite drink last night,” Alec replied with a smirk.

He pinned Magnus to the counter and started kissing his neck, paying special attention to his Adam's apple.

“Did you just... That was horrible,” Magnus chuckled but tilted his head a little to give Alec a better access.

Alec was sucking on the exposed skin, moving oh so slowly over the collarbone. Magnus’ breathing was becoming more erractic. He even had to lean on the counter more firmly because he was already moaning and struggling with breathing. Alec mentally patted himself on the back just because he had such an effect on Magnus. He never thought he could.

Alec’s fingers were shaking a little bit when he was opening Magnus’ robe. He was still shy when he stood in front of this gorgeous man than he loved so deeply.

He was revealing slowly his shoulders, his chest, always leaving slow kisses on his warm skin. And then Magnus was completely naked in front of him.

Alec stopped for a second to admire the view.

No matter how often Magnus was taking showers and baths, he was always somehow covered in glitter. Morning light was seeping through the kitchen window and Magnus’ skin was almost shining. It was taking Alec’s breath away.

He bent just a little and started kissing him again. Magnus’ shoulders, his collarbone where he might’ve left a hickey or two there, his chest, he was teasing his nipples for a good minute, making them hard under his touch. All those groans coming from Magnus became his favourite sound. It looked like he was going to have many favourites with Magnus.

Alec was slowly dropping to his knees. Leaving wet and lazy kisses on Magnus’ muscular stomach. Alec might've developed a thing for his abs but nobody could prove anything.

Magnus was trying to look at him but soon he closed his eyes and tilted his head back. Taking in all the sensations that were going through his whole body. Alec could definitely feel how he was shivering and that was affecting Alec as well.

He was kissing him just above his hipbone, still not as close as Magnus would like him to be so he put his hand into Alec’s hair and moaned.

There would be a hickey there the next day for sure. Somehow, leaving those little marks on Magnus’ body was just too satisfying. Alec didn’t care that it could be considered as childish. They weren't teenagers anymore but it didn't matter.

Alec’s reflexes were always very good and they improved even more when he became a cop so he immediately heard movements right next to them and stopped kissing Magnus.

“Wha- why did you stop?” Magnus said in a heavy voice. He opened his eyes and looked at Alec.

“I’m sorry, Magnus. I’m not giving you a blowjob when Chairman Meow is looking. He’s still a child,” Alec responded, kissed his stomach and stood up.

Magnus sighed and took his robe from the floor.

Alec groaned internally. He couldn’t continue with the cat observing them but he didn’t want to stop either. And he definitely didn’t want Magnus to put anything on his amazing body. Magnus could be always naked in front of Alec. He wouldn’t complain.

“Chairman, you little pervert,” Magnus said in a soft voice and rubbed his cat behind the ear.

“Hey, be nice. He’s probably just hungry.”

“He’s always hungry. That’s not an excuse to be a pervert,” Magnus added but there was no heat in his voice. He loved his cat too much. “Can you get him his food? I’m gonna put some clothes on if we’re not gonna have fun,” he added with a wink and put Chairman down.

Alec groaned again, this time out loud. But he started preparing food. 

All of this felt so incredibly domestic. And so right. It wasn’t the first time that they had spent the morning together but it was the first one since they got together.

Wait, were they together? They went on one date. Yes, they did say they loved each other. Yes, they had the most amazing night together. Yes, they couldn’t keep their hands from each other. But were they together? Alec had never wanted anything so much. He had been dreaming about this almost since the moment he met Magnus. He had no idea what Magnus wanted, though.

“You’re doing that thing with your brow,” Magnus said. He was leaning against the doorframe.

He put his jeans on and a shirt. Although he didn’t bother to button it which made Alec forget how to breathe for a second. It didn’t matter he saw Magnus completely naked five minutes ago. Magnus was always taking his breath away.

“Oh, I was just thinking,” Alec said, not really looking into his eyes.

He put food into Chairman’s bowl and the cat showed up immediately, purring quietly while eating.

Alec felt a body pressed against his back. The arms wrapped around his waist, the slow breath on his neck. He closed his eyes when the familiar scent of Magnus hit him.

“Oh, that’s never good,” Magnus chuckled. “What about?”

“Thanks,” Alec said sarcastically and turned around to look at Magnus properly.

Magnus only smirked.

Alec removed the streak of Magnus’ hair that was covering his eyes. 

Alec wanted to ask him. He wanted to know but the words stuck in his throat and he couldn’t say them. 'Would you like to be my boyfriend?' sounded like they were back in high school and not two adult men. Alec also felt too embarrassed to ask, even though he knew there was no reason. He could say anything and Magnus would be okay with it.

“Talk to me,” Magnus said and put his hands on Alec’s shoulders.

“It’s stupid, not important. Let’s go back to breakfast.”

“Alec...”

“Seriously, it’s noth-“

“Yes, I would like to be your boyfriend,” Magnus interrupted him.

Alec’s mouth fell open. _What just happened?_

“Wait, what?” he asked after a few seconds. “How did you-?”

“I just know you. You overthink stuff when there’s no need to. I love you," he said. "I am so totally in love with you,” Magnus added with the biggest smile on his face and gave Alec a quick kiss. “So yeah, I would love to be your boyfriend,” he finished.

“How did I get so lucky?” Alec asked under his breath and hugged Magnus tight.

He buried his face in the crook of his neck.

 

As soon as Chairman Meow finished his food, Magnus decided to lock him up in the spare bedroom where Chairman spent most of his days anyway. Magnus didn’t want to be disturbed next time. He wanted to have Alec all to himself.

They made scrambled eggs and sat down. They were eating in silence but it wasn’t an uncomfortable silence. It was that kind of silence that you shared with people who were the closest to you. When you felt like it wasn’t necessary to fill it with redundant words that didn’t mean anything.

Their fingers were laced together, Magnus was stroking Alec’s hand with his thumb gently, they were smiling at each other.

“I’m gonna do the dishes,” Alec said as soon as they finished.

“Oh you most certainly will do no such thing,” Magnus said and pulled him into his arms.

Their lips crashed together. The kiss was slow only for a short while and it got heated quickly because they had absolutely zero self-control. Not that any of them would complain. Quite the contrary.

Magnus was walking backwards, pulling Alec with himself. Somehow they got to the couch in the living room without tripping over anything.

Alec pushed Magnus lightly on the sofa and looked at him. They both licked their lips at the same moment.

Magnus’ unbuttoned shirt opened even more, revealing his skin once again.

“You’re such a tease,” Alec said with a smile.

“Look who’s talking, Mr. I-don’t-need-to-button-my-jeans,” Magnus replied quickly. They both laughed.

He pulled Alec in by his belt loops. His fingers were almost hovering at the hem of Alec’s underwear.

Alec sat down on Magnus’ lap and their mouths connected once more.

He moved to kiss Magnus’ jawline and his neck. He bit his earlobe gently and Magnus moaned. He put his hand into Alec’s hair just to pull it slightly.

Alec moaned as well.

Alec’s hips started moving automatically. His body was looking for the sweet friction that felt so good.

Their hands were everywhere. They still had so much to learn about their bodies, what would give the most pleasure to the other man. And oh yes, they both intended to know all the weak spots. They had all the time in the world to explore but somehow the thought of that made Alec move faster.

At this point, they were more panting and breathing into each other’s mouths than kissing.

“Magnus...” Alec moaned his name into his ear. He was so close and they barely did anything.

Magnus took his face into his hands and kissed him gently. It was so different from their current state.

“Stand up,” he simply said and Alec obliged.

They took their jeans carefully and the underwear followed. They were both naked in front of each other once more.

Magnus sat down and Alec went back to sit on his lap.

They hadn’t been that close to each other last night.

Magnus put his hands on Alec’s hips and looked into his eyes, searching for any sign of discomfort or uncertainty. But Alec could feel he had the goofiest smile on his face. He was so in love, he could actually explode any minute now.

He felt safe sitting like that, on Magnus’ lap. He knew technically they were moments away from having actual sex but he also knew Magnus wouldn’t do anything against his will. Because he understood that Alec wasn’t ready just yet.

Honestly, how did Alec get so lucky?

He didn’t get a chance to think about his luck because their lips were connected once more.

Alec was moving his hips and their dicks were almost touching each other.

“Fuck,” he breathed out and looked into Magnus’ eyes. “I love you so much,” he added.

“I love you too,” Magnus replied and circled both of their dicks with his hand.

He was moving slowly at first as they didn’t take the lube with them but the precome appeared fast and he could move faster. His experienced hands were driving Alec insane.

As the movements of his hand were getting faster, Alec was trying moving his hips to match them.

The air around them was heavy and smelled like them.

“Alec, I’m cl-“ Magnus started saying but Alec pinched his nipple and only a groan came out of his mouth.

Alec was close too.

He put his hand on Magnus’ and now they were both moving and looking for the sweet release.

They came hard. Alec could’ve sworn he saw stars. His lips hadn’t left Magnus’.

“Wow, that felt good,” he said after a minute when he managed to catch his breath.

"Yes, it did," Magnus breathed out.

Alec untangled his legs and sat next to Magnus who immediately laid his head on Alec’s shoulder.

Alec kissed the top of his head. Their fingers were intertwined together.

If they took a bit too long to go and take a shower, nobody could prove anything.

**TWO MONTHS LATER**

Alec was called out to his mother’s office. He knew it wouldn’t be a nice conversation, it never was with her if he was being honest. But this time it was bad. The case wasn’t going anywhere and Jace got hurt last night while chasing the suspect. Luckily he was only shot in his shoulder so it wasn’t that serious but just the fact that he could lose his life? Jace was his brother and he almost lost him because of this fucking case that was only getting more dangerous.

The only thing they knew was that The Woman was finally in town. That was the main reason why her dealers were getting more aggressive. Apparently she didn’t like people who were trying to sell her out.

Alec was pissed off. Nobody wanted to tell them anything. At least not anything that they could use to find her. The only thing they knew was the fact that her _employees_ were scared of her and ready to kill before getting caught.

 

He knocked on the door of Maryse’s office and heard a harsh “Come in” three seconds later.

“You wanted to see me?” he asked calmly.

“Yes,” she replied, not looking at Alec yet. She was signing some documents. “Sit,” she said as soon as she finished.

Alec didn’t move, though. If he could stand as far away from his mother, he would choose that option. “I’m fine here, thank you.”

“Fine. How is the Operation Black going on?” she asked sternly.

The case got even its own name because the last two months brought four new victims. But those weren’t as lucky as the victims at the beginning and all of them died on their way to the hospital.

“As I stated in my report from last night, we don’t have anything solid yet. We caught the guy who shot Jace but he’s not talking.”

“Big surprise,” Maryse added in a mocking tone. “You’re probably not pressing him hard enough. Typical.”

Alec decided not to respond to her accusations. He wanted to leave her office as soon as possible.

“Ever since you started... hanging out with... him, you got lazy. You’re not doing your job properly and now we have four more victims. Dead, I may add. Are you happy with yourself? And now you got your brother shot,” Maryse said in a calm voice.

She didn’t need to yell. Saying this in a calm voice hurt so much more.

Maryse was probably the most physically strong woman Alec had ever known. She could defeat anyone who stood in her way. Not that many people tried, she had a reputation. However, her comments were always her greatest weapon. Nobody could hurt people with words like Maryse.

And it hurt Alec a lot. He was already blaming himself for not solving this case and seeing Jace hurt last night only made him feel more guilty.

But Magnus was there for him, he came to the hospital immediately and waited with him for the news about Jace. He held Alec in his arms and kept saying how it wasn’t his fault, that Jace would be okay and that they would solve this soon. It wasn’t much but the support from Magnus meant everything to him and it helped to ease his conscience at least a little bit. He still felt guilty but deep down he knew it wasn’t his fault because he was doing everything in his power to find that woman.

Alec coughed to hide the fact that Maryse’s words cut him like with a knife.

“First of all, his name is Magnus and you know this so use his name next time you dare talk about him. Second of all, we’re not hanging out. We’re _dating_ , Magnus is my _boyfriend_ ,” Maryse winced at the statement but Alec continued, “and you have no right to blame me or him for what’s happening with the case. Me and Jace spent months working on it. Months without sleep, without proper food, and ignoring everyone around us. I refuse to ruin my life for this. I am doing everything I can to solve this case which is still much more than you can say, sitting in your office,” Alec raised his voice. He could never be as calm as his mother.

“How dare you?!” she finally snapped.

“Oh, I dare. I’m sick of you constantly judging me for not being your perfect straight son who would give up on his life for the job. I love this job, it means a lot to me and solving this case is extremely important to me. But you making me feel guilty about something I couldn’t help is just you being a horrible person,” Alec finished.

Finally Alec could see some kind of emotion on her face. She was angry. Alec didn’t let her say anything, though.

“As soon as I know anything, you will read about this in my report. Now I’m going to visit my brother in the hospital since it’s not very likely that his mother will visit him. Goodbye, _Captain_ ,” Alec said with a big emphasis on the word ‘captain’ and left Maryse’s office.

He tried not to run and not to give her any satisfaction but as soon as he could hide behind the walls, he leaned against one of them and hid his face in hands. He was breathing fast and felt like he could pass out any second.

At this point he was considering quitting the job and leaving New York with Magnus. He just wanted to be happy with his boyfriend, away from this harpy. But it was just a dream, he would never leave the case unsolved.

He plucked his phone out of the pocket and looked at the picture of him with Magnus. They were both smiling in the photo and seeing their happy faces made him feel a bit better. He typed ‘I love you’ and sent the text to Magnus. He got a reply with ‘I love you too, darling’ a minute later. Just reading this text made him feel like maybe he could actually do it and that nothing Maryse had said mattered.

 

It was beginning of December and winters in New York could be very extreme. He put on his jacket and his hat and got out of the police station. The hospital was in a walking distance. Alec put his hands into the pockets of the jacket. He rarely wore gloves in case he needed to reach for his gun.

It took him ten minutes to get to the hospital. He already remembered the way to Jace’s sick room.

He knocked on the doorframe and noticed that Jace was trying to wipe his tears off.

Jace usually hid his emotions well but Alec knew Jace was a person who felt a lot. Even if he tried pretending that he didn't. However Alec doubted getting shot in the shoulder would make him cry.

“Hey,” Alec said quietly and sat on the chair next to Jace’s bed. “What happened?”

“Oh, nothing. You know, I just got shot,” Jace said in his usual teasing tone but Alec wouldn’t be fooled.

“Talk to me.”

Jace took a deep breath and stared at a wall for a good minute. Alec didn’t push him. Jace would never open up if he tried to force him to talk.

“It’s Clary,” Jace finally said.

“What about her?” Alec was confused.

“She broke up with me,” Jace said and lowered his head.

“She what?!” Alec shouted. “What the hell?! You just got shot!”

“That’s the point...”

Alec was furious. How could Clary leave his brother when he was still in a hospital after getting shot?! Alec wasn’t the biggest fan of her at first but she was Jace’s girlfriend and best friend of Izzy so he got used to her and even started liking her. She was nice and smart. And very talented. But this? What kind of person does something like this?

“She couldn’t take it anymore,” Jace said. He was miserable and Alec didn’t know what to say. He felt awful.

“What?”

“You know the story about Luke. And how bad it was for Clary and her mum. She just said she couldn’t go through this with another person that she loves. Me getting shot was just too much for her,” Jace explained and sniffed, “I love her but I can’t quit my job. That’s the only thing I can do.”

“You shouldn’t be forced to choose,” Alec said softly and put a hand on Jace’s arm. “Maybe she’ll understand this and you’ll be back together soon,” Alec really had no idea how to make his brother feel better. He never understood relationship stuff and how to deal with them. It was always Izzy giving them advice on love and relationships.

“We won’t. She said she was leaving the country. A job in an art gallery in Paris or something. She got this offer months ago but didn’t want to leave cause she loved me. But she decided to leave now because it would be too hard to be around me,” Jace said and laughed sadly.

Alec stood up and sat on Jace’s bed. He took Jace into his arms and held him tight for a long time. Neither of them said anything more. The least Alec could do was to show Jace his support and that he would always be there for him.

Now that he calmed down a bit, Alec tried to understand Clary. He knew that being with a cop isn't easy. They were often in danger, their working hours were crazy and they were usually talking about a case they were trying to solve at a time. But he was still too angry to be rational about this. He also felt very sorry for Jace. He deserved everything good after what he'd been through in his life.

Before Jace found a family with the Lightwoods, he had a difficult life. His mother killed herself, his father disappeared soon after. Jace was only thirteen years old, that left him with trust issues and thinking that people would always leave him eventually.

Jace was sobbing quietly in his arms. The last time Alec saw his brother like that was two years ago when Meliorn broke Jace’s heart. Alec warned him back then that he shouldn’t have got attached to him. Meliorn was a free spirit and he was very clear that he didn’t do relationships but Jace fell in love anyway. Or he thought he did. Who could say at this point, really.

So when Meliorn found another person, he stopped seeing Jace. Alec spent three days at Jace’s flat, trying to cheer him up.

Clary brought stability and happiness into Jace’s life. And Alec had never seen his brother so smitten with anyone, even Meliorn. Jace was even thinking about asking her to move in with him ever since Izzy and Lydia started dating and would probably want to live together at some point.

Alec knew it would take a lot of time for him to get over Clary. He also knew Jace would go back to his bad habits which meant him and Izzy would have to check on him all the time. Alec was glad he could keep an eye on him at least at work.

He was about to ask Jace to move in with him for a while but Jace was too stubborn and too proud and would never agree to this. Alec knew that. He was exactly the same. They might’ve been adoptive brothers but they were still very similar in a lot of ways.

Jace untangled himself from Alec and looked at him.

“Thanks,” he said. “How’s the case?” Apparently Jace needed to change the subject.

Alec coughed. “Nothing new. The guy who shot you is terrified of The Woman and that’s pretty much the only thing I got from interviewing him. He seemed kind of sorry for shooting you, though.”

Jace huffed.

“Looks like killing someone is a better option than getting caught and giving her up. Don’t ask me,” Alec shook his head.

They talked for thirty more minutes and Alec left Jace’s room. His brother seemed to feel a little bit better but he had a long road before him.

 

Alec took a train and went straight to Magnus’ loft. It wasn’t the initial plan, he was supposed to spend the night in his own flat. But he needed Magnus, his body was physically aching and somehow he felt like only Magnus could make him feel better. It was probably selfish but Alec couldn’t think about this. Not right now.

He knocked on the door. He didn’t want to use his keys and surprise Magnus like that. He wanted to give him a way out. Magnus could always not let him come in.

The door opened and Magnus looked at him worried. He was wearing his robe. Alec probably woke him up. Great.

“Hi,” Alec said and lowered his head.

“Hi, come here,” Magnus didn’t need any explanation. He opened his arms and hugged Alec. “Bad day, huh?”

“You have no idea,” Alec responded. His voice was a bit muffled because he buried his face in the crook of Magnus’ neck.

“I’ll make you a cup of tea,” Magnus gave him a quick peck on the lips and went to the kitchen.

Alec sat down the sofa in the living room and took his jacket off. He could see his boyfriend working fast in the kitchen and he immediately smiled. He couldn’t understand how simply being next to Magnus could make him feel better but he wouldn’t dare question it. He was thanking all the gods for Magnus. The love of his life.


	9. What do you want?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you for all the comments and kudos on the previous chapters <3  
> they always give me motivation to continue writing  
> love you all! <3
> 
> also, how good was season premiere of s2? i knew it was going to be amazing but it was even better omg can't wait for more!
> 
> you can find me on tumblr [@harryshmjr](http://harryshmjr.tumblr.com)

Magnus was exhausted. He didn’t even remember the last time he slept for more than 3 hours. Was it last Sunday? No, he was meeting with more candidates for another bartender position because Meliorn wouldn’t stop talking about how much they needed another person because him and three other people weren’t enough.

Choosing new members of the staff was always difficult for Magnus. He treated his employees almost like family so he needed to trust someone so he would know his club was in good hands.

He didn’t choose anyone that day, though.

 

December was definitely his least favourite month.

When for some people Christmas meant spending time with their families, buying presents, preparing food or even going to church, for others it meant partying like it was their last day on Earth.

Normally Magnus wouldn’t complain. He loved organising parties or even going to as many as he could. But parties in December always had to be different. More special. So Magnus had to spend more time than usual to prepare everything. If he wasn't having meetings, he was locked in his office making more plans for next parties. Everything had to be perfect.

Sure, he had many employees that could help him in a lot of things but being a perfectionist meant that he ended up doing almost everything by himself.

That meant less time with Alec. Despite the fact that Magnus saw him almost every day, he still missed his boyfriend a lot. Alec was always buried in work. They both were. But even when Alec wasn’t at work, he was still thinking about the case. Magnus tried not to think much about the fact that the case was becoming more important. He understood that people's lives were at stake. It still hurt, though.

So yes, he was exhausted.

And now he hadn’t slept for probably 40 hours.

Last night he didn’t get his 3 hours because he had to go to a hospital with Alec because Jace had been shot. It wasn’t anything serious but that didn’t mean he wasn’t worried. And if he was worried, he could only try to imagine how Alec felt, probably blamed himself for the shooting anyway. So Magnus needed to be there. Sleep could wait.

 

When he came back home from the hospital, he only had time to take a quick shower. He changed his clothes, put the makeup on and styled his hair. It was nowhere near how it should have been but he was already out of time. And he couldn’t be late for his meeting.

He hated himself for waiting till the last moment with renewing his alcohol license. He knew it was important and that it wouldn’t be possible to organise parties without it. Nonetheless, he waited till the last moment.

So when Magnus finally got home, he took off his makeup and changed into his comfiest pyjama bottoms. He didn’t even look at the clock to see what time it was, he was too tired for this. He drifted away as soon as he closed his eyes.

He was woken up by knocking. It felt like he’d slept for maybe 5 minutes. He wasn’t exactly sure if he definitely heard knocking or maybe he was hearing things. He wouldn’t be surprised. But if someone did wake him up, that person was just asking to die a very painful death.

Magnus got out of his bed and found his robe on the armchair in the bedroom. He walked slowly towards the door. He even managed to bump into his coffee table because he closed his eyes for a second.

He was still cursing under his breath when he opened the door and saw Alec. Magnus wasn’t sure why Alec hadn’t used his key but he looked horrible. Maybe even sad? Magnus got worried immediately. He also forgot about being half asleep.

“Hi,” Alec said and lowered his head.

It wasn’t the time to wait for any explanations. “Hi, come here,” Magnus opened his arms and hugged Alec. “But day, huh?”

“You have no idea,” Alec responded. His face was buried in Magnus’ neck. Hot breath made him shiver. His brain might’ve been tired and not functioning properly but his body was always reacting like this when it was pressed to Alec’s.

“I’ll make you a cup of tea,” he gave Alec a quick peck on the lips and closed his eyes. The warm feeling spreading through his body.

Alec sit down on the sofa in the living room and Magnus went to the kitchen to make them some tea. It was always calming both of them. Neither of them could really explain this but somehow tea was always making things better. Maybe focusing your thoughts on the hot liquid allowed you to forget about current issues.

 

Magnus almost burnt himself whilst pouring water. He was definitely too tired to function. He needed to sleep for like a week.

“So what happened?” he asked and gave Alec his tea.

Magnus sat down on the sofa next to his boyfriend.

“I’m sorry I came,” Alec replied. “I just... I needed to be with you,” he added after a minute and buried his face in Magnus’ neck again.

Magnus wrapped his arm around Alec’s shoulder and put his chin on Alec’s head.

“Wanna talk about it?” Magnus asked hesitantly and kissed Alec’s temple after a minute.

Alec didn’t say anything. He started sobbing quietly, warm tears soaking into Magnus’ silk robe. He hugged him tighter and Alec wrapped his arms around his waist. They sat like that for what seemed to be forever but was probably five minutes in reality since their teas were still both hot, sitting on the coffee table in front of them.

“I was visiting Jace,” Alec started quietly. He raised his head but didn’t look at Magnus yet. Magnus didn’t dare to disturb him. It was never easy for his boyfriend to talk about things. “Clary broke up with him.”

“Wait... what?” Magnus was surprised. That was the last thing he would think of. Why would Alec even cry about that?

“She just couldn’t... take it anymore, I guess. She’s going to Paris.”

“I can’t believe she’d do that,” Magnus said quietly. “But I understand her all too well,” he added when Alec didn’t respond.

He regretted saying it immediately. Alec’s body stiffened in a second. He stood up and went to stand by the window. He was looking through it.

Magnus knew he shouldn’t have said that but he had absolutely no filter because of his exhaustion. But the fact was that he _did_ understand Clary very well. Magnus was always worried about Alec, that something might happen to him anytime and there was nothing that he could do to prevent that.

Obviously Magnus would never ask Alec to quit his job, he would never leave Alec either. He loved him too much. But it was hard for him. Magnus was checking on Alec almost every hour when he was at work and he wasn’t sleeping very well when Alec was working during nights. So he knew he had to talk about it with his boyfriend. Now probably wasn’t the best time, though.

“Hey,” he stood up as well and came up to Alec. He put a hand on his shoulder carefully. He wasn’t sure if Alec would be comfortable with the touch at the moment. “Look at me,” he added and Alec did as he was asked.

There was so much pain in his eyes and Magnus’ heart broke into little pieces. That was why he’d waited for so long to tell Alec about this. It didn’t matter how many times Magnus told him he loved him, there was always this doubt deep down in Alec's heart that Magnus would get bored with him at some point. 

And Magnus couldn’t imagine his life without Alec. How could he get bored with this amazing man? He waited for him for so long.

“I love you,” Magnus said slowly looking into his boyfriend’s eyes. “I would never leave you, I really hope you know that. But yes, I understand Clary very well. I am constantly worried about you, just as she was always worried about Jace,” Magnus carefully placed his hand on Alec’s cheek and Alec leaned into it. Magnus smiled softly.

“It’s not just Clary. I had a talk with mother today,” Alec said and looked down.

“Oh yeah, that explains so much more,” Magnus sighed. “What did she say this time?”

Alec rubbed his neck and turned around again. He was looking through the window once more and Magnus knew he wasn’t admiring the view from his loft.

“She basically- she basically said Jace got shot cause I’m, and I quote, hanging out with you,” he finally said.

“Wow, that’s a new low for her. You know that you’re not to blame for the shooting, right? There was nothing you could do.” Alec still wasn’t looking at him.

“I know, I know. I was expecting something like this, it’s her after all. I’m just... so tired. I just want this case to be finally over,” he said and lowered his head for a second. “I’m sorry, Magnus,” he added then.

“What are you sorry for?” Magnus was confused.

“For what she said.”

“My dear Alexander,” he said with a tenderness in his voice. “I have known your mother for years, she’s never been a fan of me. I don’t care what she says, her opinion doesn’t matter in the slightest,” Magnus put a hand on Alec’s hip and stood slightly closer.

Alec’s tears dried off on his face. Magnus knew how much Alec always tried to bottle up his emotions, but being with Magnus allowed him to show his vulnerable side because he knew that Magnus would never judge him.

“Come on, let’s go to bed,” Magnus took Alec’s hand in his own and led him to the bedroom.

Alec lied down and Magnus covered them both with a fluffy red blanket. Then he wrapped his hands around Alec’s waist and pulled him closer so his chest was on Alec’s back. Magnus hoped he would feel better in that embrace.

Alec put his hands on Magnus’.

Magnus was breathing slowly, trying not to fall asleep before Alec but his exhaustion was too much for him.

 

He woke up couple of hours later with the biggest headache of his life. He never even had such bad headaches after the night of partying. He really needed to fix his sleeping pattern. 

He opened his eyes and looked at the other side of the bed. He was alone. Alec’s side of the bed was cold.

Was Alec even here last night? Magnus had no idea if that had actually happened or he’d had one of those very realistic dreams. In his current state, both options were very possible.

He sat down slowly. It was still dark outside but it was winter so that didn’t explain anything.

He tried finding his phone but it was nowhere to be found. He must have left it in the living room. Great.

He opened his bedroom door and noticed Alec in the kitchen immediately. So he wasn’t dreaming after all.

Alec was wearing one of the shirts that he was keeping in his drawer in Magnus’ bedroom. Magnus’s heart was always skipping a beat when he was thinking about this. Alec had his own drawer in his apartment.

He would never admit it out loud yet but he had wanted to ask Alec to move in with him for such a long time. He was still afraid that this could freak Alec out. They were still getting to know each other as a couple.

Sure, you could say they knew everything about each other. After all, they’d been best friends for years now. But those last two months showed that being best friends and being boyfriends wasn’t the same thing and they still had so much to learn.

“What time is it?” Magnus asked with a yawn and rubbed his eyes.

“I’m sorry, did I wake you?” Alec asked sheepishly.

“No, you didn’t, sweetheart,” Magnus replied with a soft smile. He walked to Alec, wrapped his hands around Alec’s waist and gave him a quick peck on his cheek. Alec smiled too.

They stayed like that for a while, Magnus simply buried his face in the crook of Alec’s neck. He closed his eyes and almost fell asleep again. Just being in Alec’s arms made him feel safe and protected.

Magnus unwrapped himself and leaned down on his breakfast bar.

“You look adorable when you wake up,” Alec said suddenly but before Magnus had a chance to react, Alec added, “I mean, it’s only 5:30 am. You should go back to sleep. You have important meetings today,” he finished and continued preparing coffee.

Alec did have a point, though. Magnus was supposed to meet with more candidates for bartender position. It was going to be awful. He knew this day would be fruitless as well. But he had to find a new bartender fast if he didn’t want his current ones to be angry. They were already too overworked.

“How are you feeling today?” Magnus asked instead, concern in his voice.

“I don’t remember the last time I slept so well,” Alec admitted.

“I always tell you that my bed is far more superior,” Magnus said and winked.

“Yeah, yeah,” Alec laughed and poured coffee to his cup. “I would make you one as well but you really should go back to sleep. I know you barely sleep these days,” he added more seriously. “Yes, I do know that. Don’t look at me like that. You’re not the only one who worries, you know?”

Magnus only smiled softly at this. Being loved by Alec was the best feeling he had ever experienced. Sometimes he still thought that he clearly must be dreaming.

“I’m just so busy,” Magnus groaned and put his hands on Alec’s shoulders. Alec put his own on Magnus’ hips. “Also, I don’t need sleep,” he added and yawned.

“Sure you don’t,” Alec chuckled and pulled Magnus into a proper embrace. He kissed him and Magnus hummed softly.

The kiss was gentle and slow. Both of them still too sleepy to act on their true desires. However, Alec’s hands on his hips were almost too hot on his skin. Magnus shivered.

“I’ll bring Chinese food tonight,” Magnus said. “When are you finishing tonight?”

“Who can tell really,” Alec sighed. “Now that Jace can’t work, I’m all alone. I’ll try to be home at 9 maybe?”

“Okay, I’ll be there.”

And with the last quick kiss Alec was gone.

Magnus went back to his bedroom and set his alarm for 9 am.

 

Magnus loved New York. The city was full of opportunities for different kinds of people. Everyone could find something for themselves. People could express themselves in whatever way they wanted. It wasn’t like many people paid attention.

So if Magnus wanted to wear a lot of glitter, he could totally do that.

If Magnus wanted to start dancing with the street dancers, he could totally do that too.

But he was a person who loved the warmth and the sun. And winters in New York provided neither of those things. Also, winter in the city was never pretty. The snow was quickly covered in dirt and it looked horrible. He was always annoyed with people who claimed they loved winter.

It was also difficult to walk because they could never get rid of it fast enough no matter how hard they worked.

=Okay, so maybe Magnus was complaining in his head about the winter a lot but it wasn’t his fault. It was particularly freezing outside that day and even his enormous scarf wasn’t helping much. And the wind was so intense that it still managed to go through his woollen gloves.

So there he was. Exhausted and freezing to death. And it was just the beginning of the day.

 

He was lost in his thoughts, on his way to Pandemonium when he suddenly felt someone grabbing his arm. He mentally sighed and took out his earphones.

“Wha-“

“Hello, Magnus.”

And there she was. Her coat was blood red and emphasising her wasp waist. Her dark hair was longer than he remembered but it was still perfectly arranged. Red lipstick on her lips. It was her favourite colour after all. And long red nails to finish off the look. She looked stunningly, always dressed to impress. That didn't change.

Magnus felt like he couldn’t breathe. Suddenly it got extremely hot and he felt like he was about to pass out.

He was angry. Actually, he was furious.

She was standing in front of him, smirk never leaving her face. It was like a casual meeting for her, like she hadn't left him without a word years ago.

Magnus really thought he would never seen her again. He didn’t want to remember about the hole she had left in his heart when she had left. He was happy. He had a good life, an amazing boyfriend, amazing friends and an amazing job. Her coming back to town meant trouble.

“Camille,” he said, trying not to show her that she affected him in any way.

He knew she saw right through him, he was never a good liar and she could always read him like an open book.

“You look good,” she said and touched his arm. Magnus looked at her hand and cringed. He was never comfortable with people touching him without his consent. And Camille... Well, she lost that consent the moment she left him. Not that she really cared about that.

“What do you want?” he asked sharply. “I’m busy, I have a meeting.”

“Straight to the business then,” she gave him a fake smile. “I’m back in town, I wanna catch up. We’ve always had such a good time,” she added suggestively.

Magnus felt sick. He wanted to run away. How did she even find him in the middle of a street? He was breathing through his nose heavily.

“No, Camille. And I am busy so just leave me alone,” he managed to say, turned back and started walking fast.

She was wearing high heels so Magnus hoped she wouldn’t try to go after him. He was wrong. 

“Okay, okay... Someone might’ve thought you suddenly found someone and you don’t wanna fool around,” she laughed.

“What is your point?” Magnus wasn’t sure why he kept talking with her.

“Oh, so you did. Interesting,” she put one of her long nails on his jaw and Magnus cringed again. “Fine, only business then. For now,” she winked.

“Could you just stop that? I actually quite enjoyed my breakfast and this,” he showed between both of them, “is making it hard to keep it in my stomach. What do you want?”

Camille’s smile was gone and Magnus mentally patted himself on the shoulder that he was the reason. He wanted her to be gone. He wanted to go on with his life and pretended that she hadn’t come back to New York.

“I have an offer for you.”

“Not interested, goodbye,” he started walking again but she grabbed his arm to stop him.

“You didn’t even hear me out.”

“Don’t need to. Enjoy your life.”

“You won’t regret it, it will be very beneficial for your club.”

Magnus had no intention of having any kind of interaction with her, including doing business. But curiosity got the better of him.

“Fine, I’ll bite. What is it?”

“Can we meet in your club? I love my new shoes and this weather is just horrendous and that's Italian leather.”

Magnus sighed, loudly this time. At this point he was just mostly annoyed. He couldn't care less about her shoes.

“Fine. Call Ragnor, his number for official business is on the Pandemonium’s website. He’ll let you know when I’m available. I need to go now.”

He didn’t wait for any goodbye from his ex-girlfriend, especially that he was running late for the meeting.

Magnus just wanted this year to be over and maybe the next year would be better for him. He certainly hoped so.

 

He started walking faster, almost running. He knew there were going to be many people waiting for him at the club for an interview.

The street was relatively quiet, it was much more alive when it was night time and all clubs in the area were open and waiting for the crowds. But at 11 am the only people that were there were club owners or the employees who were taking care of the clubs before the parties started.

 

Magnus went into the club. The lights were on, he heard people talking. It was much noisier than usual at this hour but it was understandable when so many people were waiting for their interview.

He went into his office and took his coat, scarf and gloves off. He fixed his hair and makeup and then started walking in the direction of the room where he and Ragnor were supposed to talk with potential new employees.

Magnus stopped momentarily. He looked at one of the bars where Meliorn was usually working. He was coming to Pandemonium during the day quite often to practise his new drinks. The clients loved them.

But he wasn’t alone.

Jace was casually leaning against the bar and talking with Meliorn. Magnus wouldn’t really pay attention to that but he could’ve sworn that they looked like they were flirting. Obviously it wasn’t Magnus’ business who Jace dated or didn’t date. However, he knew his history with Meliorn, he also knew that Clary just broke up with him. That was a deadly combination.

He cursed quietly and went to the bar.

“Meliorn, Jace,” he said and noded his head a little.

“Magnus, hi,” Meliorn said enthusiastically. “Ready to find us a new bartender?”

“That is the plan,” he said with a smile. “Jace, can I talk with you for a second?”

Jace was clearly confused and disappointed that he had to stop his flirting with Meliorn. Especially if it was for Magnus. He nodded his head, though. They went just a little bit further so nobody could hear anything.

“How are you?” Magnus asked with concern. “Is your shoulder okay?”

Jace touched it instinctively and grimaced. “It’s fine. What did you wanna talk about?”

Magnus took a deep breath and looked into Jace’s eyes. “Listen, I know it’s not my business. But... what the hell are you doing with Meliorn?”

Jace huffed and rolled his eyes. “You’re right, it’s not your business. But if you must know, I am now single and ready to mingle,” he added with the fakest smile that Magnus had ever seen. It beat even the one from Camille, which was quite impressive.

“Yes, I’ve heard about Clary, I’m sorry.” Magnus really meant it. He and Jace might not have been best friends but he still considered him an important person in his life, especially that he was Alec and Izzy and Max’s brother. He cared about him.

“Save it, I don’t need it,” Jace responded.

“Listen, it’s your life. But just think it through before you do anything stupid and you’ll end up with an even bigger heartbreak. Meliorn is still the same person, he hasn’t changed.”

“Good,” was the only thing that the blond man replied and walked away.

Magnus shook his head and left. Ragnor was going to kill him for being late.

There were about fifteen people waiting in front of the room. Magnus pushed past all of them, saying ‘excuse me’ on his way. He opened the door and noticed Ragnor sitting at the table. Magnus was glad he didn’t have to go through so many interviews on his own. He had quite enough the last time.

“Why the hell is Camille calling me?!” Ragnor shouted as soon as he noticed his friend.

“Well, hello to you too,” Magnus answered with a wince. “I didn’t think she would call you immediately.”

Ragnor didn’t say anything to this. He was staring at Magnus and his arms were crossed on his chest. Clearly his conversation with Camille went as smoothly as Magnus’.

Magnus knew that Ragnor wasn’t mad at him. He was actually worried, he was there for Magnus when she had left him. 

Of course, Alec was the most important person but Ragnor was his friend as well. He and Raphael were always keeping him company when Alec had to be at work. He would forever be grateful for this. When he thought about this now, he couldn't understand why it hit him so hard. He knew he'd loved her but was it really that much? Perhaps he was more in love with the idea of being with someone. Their relationship had been toxic from almost the very beginning. 

“I’m sorry. I don’t even know how she found me. I was on my way to Pandemonium because, believe it or not, I didn’t want to be late for our interviews,” Ragnor was still sitting in his chair and staring at him, “and suddenly there she was, talking to me about some offer,” Magnus finished.

Ragnor stood up, his face still looked angry.

“I just... I couldn’t be there anymore, okay?” Magnus added eventually. "So I just told her to call you."

Ragnor came to him and gave him a tight hug. “I know, my friend. I know.”

Magnus felt a little bit better. He loved his friends for always supporting him.

“So, what did you tell her?”

“Well, at first I didn’t want to believe her but it seemed like you had agreed to it so I told her to come here next week. I’m supposed to give her the exact date and time later,” Ragnor replied matter-of-factly.

“Splendid,” Magnus said sarcastically. “Let’s start with those interviews. I already have a headache.”

 

That was the last group of candidates. All of them were checked by Meliorn first if their skills were good enough to work in such a big club, they all passed his tests. Unfortunately, Magnus didn’t like anyone. None of them seemed trustworthy. None of them seemed like someone who could become part of this family.

“Magnus, honestly, you can’t be so picky. We need a new bartender. You know Meliorn is the most relaxed person in the whole world but if you tell him we still got no one...” Magnus wasn’t sure but it looked like Ragnor could be actually scared of the guy. Who would’ve thought?

“Listen, I know. But nobody was good enough. It’s not just about the skills and you know it,” Magnus said and started admiring his nails. He did like this new colour that he found on his last shopping spree with Isabelle and Lydia.

Before Ragnor had a chance to reply, there was a knocking on the door. Both of them looked at each other, they didn’t expect anyone else. They definitely didn’t have more applications on the table.

“Come in,” Magnus shouted.

Maia came into the room. She looked nervous so Magnus got worried immediately.

“What’s wrong?” he asked.

“Oh, no. Nothing,” she said and gave them a soft smile. “Can I talk to you?”

“Sure,” Ragnor responded. He looked just as surprised as Magnus did.

Maia sat down in front of them but didn’t look at them. She was playing with the hem of her shirt. It was very unusual of her. Maia was always a very confident woman, always ready to speak her mind. Her outfit was also much more different than usually. She loved wearing T-shirts with funny quotes or her favourite bands and some good old jeans. Today, though, she wore a nice striped shirt and navy blue trousers. 

“Have you found a new barteder?” she finally asked.

Magnus sighed. “No, we haven’t. And Ragnor is afraid that Meliorn is going to kill us. He might be right, though. We’re screwed.”

Ragnor didn’t say anything to that, he was only observing Maia.

“So... you know that I sometimes help behind the bar, right?”

“And we are very grateful for that, you are very good at this but it’s not in your job description so that’s why we’re looking for someone new,” Magnus said seriously.

“What- what if it was?” Maia stuttered a bit but finally looked at both of them.

Magnus and Ragnor looked at each other.

“Listen,” Ragnor started. “It’d be amazing, really. You’re definitely someone that Magnus wouldn’t complain about,” Magnus huffed at the accusation, “but then we’d lose a waitress and we need them more than a new bartender,” he finished and looked at Maia. It was a very difficult decision but he was right. They couldn’t afford to lose a waitress. They could wait for another bartender for a little while longer.

“What if I had someone to replace me as a waitress?” Maia asked more confident this time.

“I love you, my dear,” Magnus said. “But you know how I’m with new employees. I gotta check them, talk with them blah blah blah,” he started moving his hands almost theatrically. He hoped his joking tone would make the situation less serious.

Being friends with your employees was really great and Magnus wouldn't want to change that. But it was never easy to say 'no' to them. But he had to do it sometimes, he was their boss first and a friend later.

“Just hear me out, please. And if you decide against it, I’ll just go,” she said and they nodded. “My girlfriend... She is thinking about going to college but her current job has crazy schedule. You never know when you need to come and they can call you last minute. But here, we are making our schedule a month ahead so she could arrange her classes accordingly,” Maia was looking at them and waiting for the ‘no’ but they didn’t say anything. “Maureen would be really great for this job, she is a-“

“Wait,” Magnus interrupted her suddenly. “Is your girlfriend Maureen from Taki’s?”

Maia looked surprised. “How do you- yes, she works there.”

“She’s hired, you’re hired,” Magnus almost screamed. “And I am finally done with this.”

Now both Maia and Ragnor were looking at him with confusion on their faces. Magnus almost laughed.

“Listen, I’ve been going to Taki’s with Alec forever. I know Maureen, she is the best waitress there. She never mixes the orders, the clients love her. We basically go there because of her,” Magnus explained. “And their pizza. You’ll never find a better pizza than the one from Taki’s,” he added with a big smile.

Maia started jumping and squealing. “Thank you, thank you, thank you, Magnus!” she hugged him tightly. “You won’t regret it!”

“I know, darling,” Magnus chuckled and hugged her back. “Now go and share your news with the rest. And have Maureen bring all her documents to Ragnor so she can start working as soon as possible,” he added more seriously.

Maia almost ran out of the room. 

Magnus and Ragnor high-fived each other. 

Maia was very good behind the bar and she was a good friend of Meliorn so he was sharing some of his recipes with her. And that wasn’t something that he was willing to do with anyone.

Also Maureen as their new waitress would only improve the current staff and maybe even bring more new people. Taki’s was a place where usually young people were coming so she could bring some of them with her.

Magnus thought to himself that this day wasn’t as bad as it seemed in the morning.

 

Magnus was working on the plans for the next party when he realised that it was already after 8 pm. He didn’t even realise that he hadn’t eaten anything for almost 6 hours and was starving.

He put his coat and big scarf on and left his office in a hurry.

There was a great Chinese restaurant in the neighbourhood and he bought some food for him and Alec there.

 

Magnus knocked on Alec’s door right after 9 pm.

Alec opened the door and immediately started kissing Magnus. The kiss was very much different from the one in the morning. It was sloppy and almost desperate.

“Hmm, someone’s eager,” Magnus chuckled and put the food on the floor. He wrapped his hands around Alec’s neck.

“Always,” Alec breathed out.

He pinned Magnus against the wall. He put a hand behind Magnus’ head so he wouldn't hurt himself. There was no space between them. Chest to chest, arm to arm, lips to lips. Alec moved on from his lips to Magnus’ jaw line. He bit his earlobe slightly and Magnus moaned quietly. Oh, how he missed this.

“Damn, why do you have so many clothes?” Alec huffed.

“It’s winter, my love,” Magnus laughed and helped Alec with taking his clothes off.

As soon as his coat was gone, Alec’s warm hands went under his shirt, the feeling spreading through his freezing body.

“I missed you,” Alec said, a hot breath on Magnus’ neck. Magnus trembled, it was almost too much and he felt like he could combust any second now.

“Missed you too, angel,” he managed to respond.

Alec’s leg between his thighs was moving deliberately and Magnus closed his eyes. He buried his hands in Alec’s hair. They continued kissing and without breaking up, they landed on a coach. Magnus was lying and Alec on top of him. Their hips touched each other and Magnus could feel how affected Alec was. He wasn’t very far behind him.

Alec started moving to find that sweet friction that they both needed. Both of them were already a mess.

Magnus helped Alec with his T-shirt. He admired those hard muscles under his touch, he would never get tired of those perfect abs. Alec started unbuttoning Magnus’ shirt when they both heard knocking on the door.

“Leave it, whoever it is, they can come later,” Magnus said between the kisses. Alec nodded and continued with the buttons.

The knocking didn’t stop, though. Alec and Magnus both groaned.

Alec stood up and Magnus pouted, already missing the heavy body on his own. Why couldn't he have a nice evening with his boyfriend? He clearly deserved it after a day like this one.

They both put on their clothes and went to see who was behind the door. Alec opened the door and his brother Max was standing there. A bag in his hand.

“Can I come in?” he asked without really looking at either of them.


	10. It’s okay

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you for all your lovely comments! they are my biggest motivation <3
> 
> WARNING! there is a racist person in this chapter, it's just a short scene but it's there
> 
> this chapter is very Alec-centric and it also focuses on the case a lot, it's time to finally solve it in the very near future ;)  
> i hope you'll enjoy the story of Max and how the case is going  
> next chapter will have lots of fun things ^_^
> 
> you can find me on tumblr [@harryshmjr](http://harryshmjr.tumblr.com)

Alec’s day went exactly as he thought it would. It was hours and hours of stress and helplessness. Without Jace he had double the paperwork and exactly zero progress. Not that there would have been any progress if Jace had been able to work. They were running after middle men who wouldn’t give their boss up. Today he was just doing it alone.

This and also everyone kept staring at him when he was walking into his and Jace’s office. He wasn’t exactly sure why. Did they think he was responsible for Jace having been shot? Did they think he wasn’t doing enough? Did they pity him? Alec tried not to think much about this because it was giving him a headache.

The only good thing was talking with Izzy. Well, at least it was somehow good.

Like an idiot, he only focused on the part that Clary was Jace’s girlfriend and that she had left him. He didn’t even think about his sister who had lost her best friend.

Clary’s decision was sudden, she didn’t discuss it with Isabelle. She only informed her that she needed to leave. Alec was wondering if it was another of her rushed decisions. Clary was often ruled by her emotions. Not that there was anything wrong with that, it made her human. But Alec couldn’t understand it, he always tried to keep his emotions hidden and make decisions after thinking about them for a long time. Maybe sometimes even for too long.

But Izzy was as strong as ever. Alec was always admiring this trait in his little sister. Of course she was devastated when Clary left, she wasn’t expecting it at all. But Clary promised to stay in touch and Skype with her at least every other day. There was always a chance she would come back to New York one day. Even if she didn’t, their friendship would survive the distance. They were both sure of it.

 

So when Magnus finally knocked on his door, Alec didn’t bother with the small talk. He needed to feel his boyfriend’s lips on his own. His strong body pressed to his own. 

All he wanted was to trace Magnus’ muscles with his tongue. All he needed was to give Magnus a blowjob. Maybe even receive one if Magnus felt like giving one. He just wanted to relax and spend some time with his boyfriend without thinking about the outside world.

But apparently the universe really hated him.

Magnus was beneath him, already moaning. Both of them semi-hard from their intense makeout session. Oh, how Alec loved those. He would never get tired of the feeling, of electricity and warmth spreading through his whole body. All of this because of one person that he loved more than anything else in his whole life.

Alec was working on opening Magnus’ shirt and still kissing him at the same time which wasn’t easy since Magnus’ shirt had very complicated buttons. But then he heard knocking on his front door. 

Couldn’t he have just one evening with his boyfriend? Was that really so much to ask for?

“Leave it, whoever it is, they can come later,” Magnus said between the kisses. Alec nodded and continued with the buttons. Maybe if they ignored them for long enough, they would just leave them alone.

The knocking wouldn’t stop, though, and Alec couldn’t ignore this any longer. Clearly someone was very determined to interrupt them. 

They both groaned in unison.

Alec was in a mood to destroy the person who dared knock but he put on his clothes reluctantly. Magnus was doing the same next to him.

It sucked not being able to be physical with Magnus. Yes, they tried to see each other every single day but usually they were too tired to do anything and were falling asleep in each other’s arms very quickly. Alec was frustrated.

When they were both ready, and the knocking still didn’t stop, they both went to see who was behind the door.

Alec opened it and his brother Max was standing outside of his apartment. 

He clearly wasn’t expecting his little brother to come to him so late. He always knew when to expect Max because they would call each other or at least text about him coming to visit. And Alec might have been busy and stressed out today but he wouldn’t forget something like this.

“Can I come in?” Max asked without really looking at either Alec or Magnus.

Alec opened the door wider and only when Max was inside he noticed a bag in his hand. His heart skipped a beat involuntarily. A million different scenarios went through his head. Izzy told him on many occasions that he needed to stop worrying about everything so much, that overanalysing things wasn’t good for anyone, especially when he didn’t have all the facts. He knew she was right but he couldn’t change this. This was something that he had been doing ever since he was a kid.

There was this awkward silence between them for a while. None of them spoke a word. Alec and Magnus were both looking at Max and waiting for him to explain why he had come and why he’d had a bag with him. Max didn’t say anything, though.

“Hey,” Magnus said softly. He was always the first one to break the silence. “What happened? Do you need to talk?”

It should have been Alec to say this but Alec was never really good at talking. He was a great listener and his family and friends knew this but reacting to people’s emotions wasn’t his greatest trait. When a situation was difficult, he had problems with finding the right words. It was never a problem for Magnus.

Max raised his head a little and smiled but the smile didn’t really reach his eyes.

“Can I stay here for a while?” he finally asked.

“What happened?” Alec replied with a question. He made sure to say it gently, not to scare his brother off or make him think that he wouldn’t want him here. Of course Max was always welcome in his apartment for however long he wanted or needed.

“I kinda maybe got kicked out of the house,” he said sheepishly and Magnus tried to cover his gasp with a hand on his mouth. “Looks like a fourth queer child in the family was just too much for mother,” Max tried joking.

And then it hit Alec. Maryse kicked out his little brother for this? He knew her very well but kicking her own kid out? No, she crossed a line. This was too much.

Sure, he couldn’t really know that would happen. Alec never suspected that Max might not be straight but he might’ve just not noticed, it happened sometimes. And him, Izzy and Jace came out to their parents when they were already on their own so it didn’t really matter if Maryse was commenting on their ungodly lifestyles _(which was the most ridiculous thing Alec had ever heard because Maryse wasn’t even a religious person, not to mention the fact that she would always use the word ‘lifestyle’ whilst talking about their children’s sexual orientation)_ or disrespecting the family name.

But Max was still at school and he couldn’t afford to move out.

Alec was beyond angry. He was furious. He could hear the blood pulsing in his ears. He wanted to run to his parents’ house and yell at both of them. Starting with Robert for not stopping Maryse, not like he ever tried doing that. And then spend days yelling at his mother because that was just cruel. What was wrong with her?!

“My dear Max, I think you broke your brother,” Magnus said laughing nervously. “But I’m very proud of you,” he added and gave him a tight hug.

Only then did Alec realise how it must have looked. It looked like he had a problem with Max not being straight. Great, just fucking amazing. Their mother kicked him out and now Max thought Alec hated him too.

“Oh God, I’m so sorry, Max. Of course I’m proud of you too!” he said quickly and hugged his brother as well. “I was just-“

“Angry with mother and thinking about how much you’re gonna yell at her?” Max finished his sentence.

“Well, yes, basically,” Alec chuckled a bit and rubbed his neck and if his cheeks were a little bit too pink, nobody said anything about it. “And to answer your question, obviously you can stay here. You know I love having you here.”

“Thanks, big brother,” Max said with a smile. A real one this time. Maybe not all of his worries were gone in a second but it was close enough. If Alec had his back, nothing else mattered. And Alec could relate to this so much. When he came out, it wasn’t easy. But he had support from his amazing siblings and also from Magnus. Alec wasn’t sure how he would've coped without them. So he was determined to give Max the same amount of support. Or even more.

Max deserved to be loved for who he was. No questions asked, no judging. There was nothing wrong with him. Sure, he was a little nosy from time to time but nobody is perfect.

“I’m gonna heat up the food,” Magnus said. “I’m actually starving and I’m guessing you two must be hungry too.”

The brothers only nodded and sat down at the table.

When Magnus was in the kitchen, Alec was observing Max. There was still some tension in his shoulders but even Alec could tell that Max was feeling much better now.

“So, if you don’t mind me asking,” he said carefully, “how did it happen? Why did you tell her? I mean, you’ve never said anything before that.”

Alec was really trying not to say anything wrong. It was so easy to choose the wrong words to a person who was so vulnerable in that very moment.

Max laughed softly. “I didn’t really have a choice, I thought mother wasn’t coming back for at least another hour. And then she went into my room without knocking,” he sighed, “ and kinda caught me making out with my friend Sam.”

“Max!” Alec winced. “Too much information!”

“You asked,” Max smirked.

“So... That means you’re gay like me or...?”

Alec wasn’t sure if it was okay to ask this, maybe he should have waited for Max to reveal this information on his own? He was ready to apologise for his question but Max put a hand on his shoulder, as if he knew what was going on in Alec’s head. Sometimes it was scary how well Max knew him.

“It’s okay,” he smiled. “And... honestly? I have no idea. I’m still trying to figure this all out, it’s really not easy when your parents try to tell you for years that you should find a woman, marry her and have children. I don’t think I’m gay, though. Remember Jo and how madly in love I was with her?” Max laughed again.

“And how much you were crying on my shoulder when she said she had a boyfriend?”

“I wasn’t crying!” Max shouted and hit Alec in the shoulder but he wasn’t angry, just two brothers making fun of each other.

“It’s all okay, little brother,” Alec said seriously then. “You don’t need to rush this. Take your time. And if any of us can help you in any way, you only need to ask.”

“That includes me as well,” Magnus added with a smile as he walked in with the food.

 

Alec’s apartment wasn’t as big as Magnus’ loft but he really liked his place. It had two bedrooms because he enjoyed spending time with his siblings as often as he could so having extra bedroom was just common sense. Now it could become Max’s bedroom. He was happy that he could live with his brother because he could keep an eye on him, he wouldn’t worry that much either.

There was a small living room connected with the kitchen. Alec spent here most of his time, reading books, watching trash TV with Magnus or even working out when he couldn’t be bothered to go to the gym.

The living room was mostly black and white. The only other colour was a green blanket that Izzy bought him for his birthday. He liked it. It was very fluffy and very warm, great for the horrible winter that hit New York every year.

Alec liked that his apartment was simple, it suited him well. Even if people were saying that he should get wild from time to time.

Alec’s bedroom wasn’t very big but he was only sleeping there so it didn’t matter that much. This and also the fact that he spent most of his nights at Magnus’ anyway. When he thought about it, for a while now he considered Magnus’ flat his home. It wasn’t really about the place, it was about Magnus. Wherever he was, it was home for Alec.

 

Alec was lying in bed and waiting for Magnus to get out of the bathroom. He had to wake up early. Again. But he wanted to fall asleep in his arms.

As soon as Magnus walked in, Alec smiled. Magnus in his full makeup was beautiful on another level. But Magnus without any of it? Alec stood up and crossed the room quickly. He put one of his hands on Magnus’ hip and the other one was caressing his cheek. Magnus leaned into the touch and closed his eyes.

“I love you,” Alec said.

Magnus opened his eyes slowly and looked at him as if looking for confirmation in Alec’s own eyes that his words were true. Magnus was always such a confident person but he also felt so deeply. He tried shielding himself from emotions, his heart had been broken too many times. Believing that someone really loved him wasn't easy for him and Alec really understood the feeling too well.

“I love you too, my angel. More than you’ll ever know,” Magnus replied and kissed him.

They went to bed and Alec covered both of them with a comforter. As soon as he lay down, Magnus intertwined their fingers and kissed the back of Alec’s hand.

“I- I have something to tell you,” Magnus said hesitantly.

“Is it bad news? Can it wait till tomorrow?” Alec was tired and he was pretty sure he wasn’t ready for more news that day.

Magnus took a deep breath and didn’t say anything which was quite untypical of him. He never had problems with expressing his thoughts, that was Alec’s thing.

“I just- I don’t want to keep it from you, okay? But I need you to know that it means nothing,” he shifted on the bed so he could look at Alec. Their hands were still linked together.

Well, if Magnus wanted to give him a heart attack, he was doing a pretty good job. Suddenly Alec’s heart was beating so fast, he was afraid it could actually rip out of his chest. He was breathing hard like he had just run a marathon.

Magnus noticed this immediately and he put his other hand on Alec’s shoulder.

“Hey, breathe. There is nothing to worry about, I just wanted to tell you this,” Magnus said calmly but his words didn’t help Alec relax. Magnus took another deep breath. “Camille is back in town,” he finally managed to say.

Alec sat up on the bed quickly and looked at Magnus. He still couldn’t breathe.

Why was that harpy back? What the hell did she want? And why would she let Magnus know she was back? Clearly she didn’t want to do anything with him, she left him without saying goodbye and went God knows where. Why was this happening?

“Alec, hey,” Magnus sat up too. “It’s okay, it’s okay,” he squeezed Alec’s hand.

“I- I know, I- I trust you, Magnus,” Alec replied but he still couldn’t catch a breath.

“You know she means nothing to me, right? She is only my past. Nothing more. You are my future,” Magnus said, a confidence in his voice that finally helped Alec to relax a little bit.

Of course he knew Magnus didn’t have any feelings for Camille and he knew that Magnus loved him. Alec would never doubt Magnus. But Camille? Well, that was a different story. She was always ready to cause some trouble just because she felt like it. Maybe a normal life was too boring for her, maybe hurting people was her hobby. A hobby that you could never get bored with, after all there are so many people out there. Although, Alec had a feeling that hurting the same people over and over again was more fun for her.

“What does she want?” Alec asked after a minute. Finally he could breathe a little more.

“She claims she has an offer for me,” Magnus said and rolled his eyes. “She wants to meet with me to discuss it.”

“Are you going to meet with her?”

“I said I would but... Is this okay with you? I won’t if you don’t feel comfortable with it,” he squeezed Alec’s hand again.

He started thinking about it. He knew he could say he didn’t want Magnus to meet with her and Magnus wouldn’t be angry. But if Alec wanted their relationship to be real, the trust was the most important thing. Even if it was about Camille.

“No, you should meet with her. At least you can do it on your own terms. She doesn’t take ‘no’ for an answer, does she?” Alec winced.

“I promise I will tell you how it goes.”

“Thank you,” Alec said with a relief and kissed Magnus once more before lying down again.

Magnus wrapped his arms around his waist and pulled him closer to himself. He left a quick kiss on Alec’s neck and Alec visibly relaxed, tension leaving his shoulders slowly.

He could deal with Camille, he wouldn’t let her hurt Magnus again. He wouldn’t let her cause any trouble. She had done enough.

 

Alec was sitting at his desk and writing a report about another drug dealer selling on the corner of another club. Another pointless report that said basically the same thing.

The suspect was caught with 5 small packages with a drug that looked exactly like the one they had been trying to get rid of. The drug was sent to the lab to get an official confirmation. The suspect admitted to selling at least 3 packages, although he wasn’t sure that was the exact number. The suspect answered all of the questions, knowing well that it could help him reduce his sentence. As soon as he was asked about his boss, the suspect shut his mouth and asked for a lawyer.

Alec had already known this lawyer, every suspect caught with this drug had the same lawyer which only proved further that they were all connected. However, Alec knew the lawyer wasn’t there to help his clients, he was there to ensure that they wouldn’t say anything about the boss.

There was a knocking on his door. “Alec?”

He raised his head and stopped looking at a computer’s screen. It was Raj.

Raj was another detective and he was great. He was assigned to the case by Maryse for couple of days, before Jace could go back to work. Alec really appreciated all the help he could get.

Raj was a bit older than Alec and he was very good at his job. Alec enjoyed working with him whenever he had a chance, he was always focused on the task and not asking too many questions, he was always following orders.

“Yes? What is it?”

“You’re not gonna believe it,” Raj smirked. “There was a phone call from Supermax. Someone is looking for you and Jace.”

“Who would- oh, wait,” sudden realisation hit Alec. “What the fuck does Valentine want from us?”

“Let’s go and find out.”

 

It took them almost an hour to get out of the city, the traffic was always horrible, and about another hour to get to Sing Sing Correctional Facility which was located in the village of Ossining. The security was extremely tight so going in took them another hour.

At least Valentine was relatively close. Other maximum security prisons in the state were really far away from New York.

Alec was pissed off. He felt like he had wasted so much time but at least he hoped that talking with Valentine would give him anything. If he had wasted so much time for nothing...

“Good afternoon, detectives,” said the warden. “I hope you travelled well?”

“Yes, thank you,” Alec said a bit too abruptly. He was annoyed, though. But he was also excited. It might mean nothing but it was the first new lead for a very long time. “Can we see the prisoner now?”

“Certainly,” the man gave them a smile, maybe a bit too wide, showing his pearly white teeth. “Follow me, please.”

They walked in silence for a while, going through more security. Luke must have been happy that he managed to put Valentine here, the guy absolutely deserved it.

“We don’t normally allow our prisoners contact people whenever they feel like it, however Morgenstern claims he has very important information for you. Essential for your case, as he put it. I talked with Captain Lightwood,” he said and looked at Alec, “she is a good friend.”

Alec almost snorted but managed to stop himself. Maryse being a good friend to anyone? Yeah, totally a thing.

“She told me that his son is one of your suspects so Morgenstern might, indeed, have some information for you.”

“I thought you said your prisoners can’t contact anyone without approval,” Alec barely met the guy and he was already done with him.

“I’m only human, gentlemen, we try our very best,” he replied simply and showed them the way into the room.

“Right...” Raj added under his breath. Apparently he was done with the warden just as much as Alec was.

 

Valentine was already there, cuffed to a table. There was a chain going from his wrists, around his waist and ending with another set of cuffs around his ankles. The chain was so tight that it must have been extremely difficult to walk. Not that Alec felt sorry for him, he actually had to hide his smile.

He and Raj sat down in front of Valentine.

Valentine might’ve been completely cuffed but he still looked confident. Alec recognised that posture immediately, Sebastian had exactly the same one. Or at least he tried to, couple of minutes of interrogation and the confident Sebastian was gone. Alec doubted they’d be so lucky with Valentine, though.

“Welcome, detectives,” Valentine said with a smirk. “You must be a Lightwood,” he pointed at Alec. “So similar to your mother, aren’t you?” Alec cringed. He tried not showing it but he wasn’t doing a very good job at hiding his emotions. Luke used to tell him stories about Valentine but nothing could prepare him for a meeting in real life. “And you are...? I’ve been told the other one is blonde. You’re... not,” he said with a disgust on his face.

Alec almost forgot that Valentine wasn’t just a murderer, he was also a racist fuck.

Raj stayed calmed. “This is a waste of our time,” he said looking at Alec. “He doesn’t know anything, let’s go back to New York,” he added and stood up.

Valentine moved slightly on his chair. “Sit down!” he shouted.

The officer guarding the door walked to him. “You’ve just earned a week in a solitary. Tell them what you know or shut up.”

“Thank you, officer. We can handle him,” Raj said politely.

Valentine tried leaning against his chair but the chain was too short for him to do it.

“I know something about this big boss you’re looking for. _But,_ ” he made a short break for effect, “nothing in this world is free,” he finished and smirked once again.

Alec was expecting this. Valentine would never help them because of goodness of his heart. Alec doubted he even had a heart.

“What do you want?” he simply asked.

“In exchange for this information, I want to be moved to a regular prison. I’m done with this cage.”

Alec and Raj both laughed. “Yeah, that’s not happening. If that’s all, we’ll be leaving,” Alec told him.

Even if they could promise him something like this, Alec would never agree. Luke had spent too much time looking for him and lost too much in the process. Besides, Valentine in Supermax was a gift to humanity. He didn’t deserve to live a relatively good life in a normal prison. It would be too easy for him to run his business again.

“Okay, so you are smart after all. I didn’t think that would work but you can’t blame me for trying.”

“Stop wasting our time,” Raj rolled his eyes.

Valentine only stared for him for a second and then looked straight at Alec. “I know which club your big boss is interested in now,” he simply said.

“And how would you know this? Sebastian isn’t even in the same prison as you,” Alec demanded.

“Oh, you have your ways, I have mine. And that son of mine has always been a disappointment,” this time it was him who rolled his eyes. “So, do you want to know or not?”

“What is it that you want then?” Alec said angrily, he didn’t want to be that affected by Valentine, he didn’t want to give him satisfaction. It wasn’t easy, though.

“I want the right to get one visitor a week,” he stated.

Alec looked at Raj. They both realised what this could mean. Yes, the conversations were always recorded and supervised but Valentine and his people might have some code that they weren’t aware of and he could go back to running his business through his minions. If someone could find a way, it was definitely Valentine.

However, Alec and Jace hadn’t moved further for such a long time, they had no solid leads. They didn’t even know the Woman's hair colour. They knew nothing about her. And if they knew what club she was interested in now, that could help solving their case. Especially if she was trying to make a deal with the owner. Until now, her dealers didn’t really ask for permission. Having a deal with the owner would be definitely more difficult to track, nobody would report the dealers selling drugs in their clubs.

“We’ll talk to the judge,” Alec finally replied. “Just give us the name.”

“Not good enough. I want this confirmed. Make your phone call, _detective._ ”

 

It took a while to convince the judge to agree to Valentine’s conditions. Nobody was willing to help such an evil person. Everyone realised that giving him anything could cause a lot of problems. Very serious problems. However, they didn’t have a choice.

“It’s done. The judge agreed to one visitor a week for five minutes. The visit will be supervised and recorded so don’t even try anything. If there is even a small suspicion that you’re up to something, the deal is off,” Alec informed him when he came back to a room.

Valentine slightly nodded his head, the smirk on his face was back which meant nothing good.

“The name. Now,” Alec didn’t bother to sit down. He wanted to leave this place.

“The woman you’re looking for has been trying to go into that club for a while now, using her regular methods but apparently the owner isn’t very fond of her... business,” he chuckled and that gave Alec the creeps. “She will try to make a deal with him. He’s a guy, she’s a woman... You know the drill,” he chuckled again.

“Give us the name,” this time it was Raj who stood up and slammed his hands on the table.

“Pandemonium.”

Alec felt as if something hit him in the chest. Pandemonium. That was Magnus’ club. The Woman tried to get into his club. Magnus was in danger. 

He got out of the room and started waking fast, he wanted to run but he was aware that running inside of Supermax would be pointless and could even get him in trouble.

“Alec, wait! What is it?” Raj grabbed his arm and stopped him.

“The club that Valentine mentioned, it’s my boyfriend’s club,” he said slowly. He still couldn’t believe this was the information they had received.

“Do you think your boyfriend is going to work with her?”

“What?! No, of course not. Magnus is extremely against drugs. He loves his club and all his employees know about ‘no drugs policy’ in Pandemonium.”

And then it hit him. Finally all the pieces of puzzle clicked. He remembered the conversation he had with Magnus last night. Suddenly Camille was back in town and she had a very interesting offer for him? Alec didn’t believe in coincidences. This had to be connected. Why else would she come back? She didn’t feel the need to come back to New York for such a long time and now this? No, it had to be her. Alec knew she was evil but he had never realised just how much.

But he didn’t have any proof and there was no way anyone would simply believe him. He couldn’t let Magnus meet with her now. He interviewed way too many drug dealers and they were terrified of her. What if she did something to Magnus? No way.

But if Magnus didn’t meet with her, they would never get any proof against her. She might even move to another club owner. There were so many clubs in New York. It would be like looking for a needle in a haystack.

Alec didn’t know what to do.

 

They didn’t speak at all when Raj was driving them back to New York. Alec was lost in his thoughts, trying to come up with a plan that wouldn’t risk Magnus’ life. He would never forgive himself if anything happened to him. However, if he didn’t do anything, more people could die and he couldn't forgive himself for that either.

He got out of the car and went straight to Maryse’s office to inform her about the situation.

“So you think this Camille Belcourt is The Woman? And she’s the ex of him?” 

Alec sighed. Of course she still refused to use Magnus’ name. He didn’t say anything about it, though. “I know, I have no proof. But it makes sense. Pandemonium is Magnus’ club and Camille _is_ back in town and she _did_ approach Magnus and talked with him about some offer,” he simply said.

“Fine, I hope it’s not your jealousy just speaking. Or whatever you want to call it. If you risk this case for him...”

“I know how to do my job!” Alec shouted. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. Now was not the time to have another argument with his mother. Now he needed orders from his captain. 

“Fine, when is this meeting? We’ll put him on wire and get the evidence that we need, case closed,” Maryse simply stated.

“What? No. That’s not happening. You’re not putting Magnus' life in danger. I won’t allow it.”

“Don’t be so dramatic. We’ll have the place surrounded and _if_ he is in danger, we will walk in and that’s it,” Maryse said calmly. “Stop letting your emotions cloud your judgement.”

He was suspecting his mother would say this and he knew, logically speaking, that she was right. That recording Camille making the offer was the only way to catch her. But there was no place for logic when Maryse was trying to use his boyfriend.

"Yeah, you're the expert of not letting your emotions cloud your judgement. Max is fine, by the way. Not that you would care," Alec said angrily.

First she kicked his brother out and now she was trying to get Magnus killed. Alec was done with her.

Maryse didn't say anything to that. She only looked at him for couple of seconds but Alec couldn't read her facial expression. He had no idea what she was thinking about.

“Tell him we need his cooperation. Ask when this meeting is going to take place, we need to make a plan,” she ordered.

“I will do no such thing. I will talk to him and I will explain to him how dangerous it might be. If he says no, we’re not doing this. End of story,” Alec said and walked out of her office.

How was he supposed to ask Magnus to risk his life for his case?

Alec knew what his answer would be. Magnus would agree without any hesitation because he was that kind of a person, always selfless and ready to help others. And that’s why Alec didn’t even want to ask him. If he didn’t ask, maybe the problem would go away?

No, that would be too simple, wouldn't it? And simple things weren't just something that would happen to him anymore.

His ringing phone brought him back to reality.

“We’re going to Miami!” Izzy screamed. Alec could almost see her jumping wherever she was currently standing.

“Hello to you to, Izzy. And what on Earth are you talking about?”

Could this day get any more bizarre?

“Okay so...” she took a deep breath. “It’s Fashion Week in Miami and I didn’t want to say anything before I was sure but now I am and obviously I’m taking all of you with me because I need you for moral support and stuff and I couldn’t do it without-“

“Izzy, slow down. What’s happening in Miami?” Alec said calmly and rubbed his neck in frustration. He really needed people to say what they wanted to say without making it so complicated.

“On Sunday there’s this huge panel with people from the industry, right? And you know how hard I worked on my article about fashion in South America.”

“Of course I know this, it was amazing.”

“Well, they invited me to be on this panel and talk more about my work!” she shouted again.

Finally some good news, they definitely needed that.

“I’m so proud of you!” he shouted back, although he tried not to be too loud. He was still at work after all.

“So pack your bags and we’re leaving tomorrow in the early afternoon. I’ve already talked with Jace, Max and Magnus. Lydia is coming too, obviously.”

Wait, what? No, he couldn’t just go to Miami to spend some quality time with his family.

“Izzy, I still need to work on the case. We finally have a lead and I-“

“No excuses, mi hermano. I know your schedule is empty. You don’t _have to_ work at weekend. These are your days off this week, I checked. With mother, I might add. So try guessing how well that conversation went down,” her voice was something between annoyed and sad.

Maybe he could use this time to spend more time with Magnus. Maybe he could spend this time to support his sister when she would be receiving recognition that she deserved. Maybe he could spend this time with Max and Jace and make sure that they felt at least a bit better.

“Okay, let’s do it,” he said.


	11. What do you need, Alexander?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you for all your lovely comments and kudos! and a special thank you to those of you who reach out to me on tumblr and scream your reactions at me. this is the best feeling really <3
> 
> as you can see, i officially put info that this fic will have 15 chapters so we still have 1/3 of the story left
> 
> i hope you're gonna enjoy this very light and fun chapter  
> i definitely had fun writing it :)
> 
> also... HOW AMAZING WAS EP. 6???? will i ever get over malec being soft boyfriends? probably not  
> come scream with me about malec on tumblr :D
> 
> you can find me there [@harryshmjr](http://harryshmjr.tumblr.com)

“I swear to God, Magnus,” Raphael sighed, “if you don’t start packing right now I’m gonna come to your loft and punch you in the face.”

“Calm down, my friend,” Ragnor hushed Raphael. “Although he does have a point, Magnus. Stop thinking about it and go to Miami.”

Magnus agreed immediately when Izzy called. Going to Miami with Alec and his friends did sound amazing, even if it was only for a weekend. But he couldn’t leave New York when Pandemonium was about to host a very important party. Or maybe not really that important but it was one of those rich kids who thought they were kings of the world. Magnus hated such people but they did pay a lot of money and his priority was always to take care of his employees so he agreed to host such parties from time to time.

“But the party...” Magnus whined one more time.

“We’ll handle it, we know what we’re doing,” Ragnor assured him. “Do you need someone to take care of Chairman Meow?”

“Oh, I wouldn’t do that to you. I know neither of you is a cat person,” he chuckled and petted Chairman which was currently sitting in his lap. “I’ll take him to Catarina’s hotel. He loves it there.”

“Then it’s settled,” Raphael finished.

“But...” Magnus pleaded again.

“Listen, you never leave work, you always think about next parties, you think about the staff and everything. You deserve a break, Magnus. Go and have fun with your boyfriend,” Raphael added and shook his head. His voice was confident, though. He wouldn’t take ‘no’ for an answer.

Magnus only smiled. He loved his friends. They always reminded him that he needed to take care of himself as well. He did often forget about this, other people were just more important. His work was too important to be interrupted. Who had time for rest anyway? Rest was overrated. Or at least he was trying to convince himself about that.

“How is Simon?” Magnus finally asked.

He and Simon might have not been the closest friends but Magnus did worry about him. Nobody was having the best time recently and seeing his friends like this made Magnus feel so helpless. His friends’ happiness was a priority to him, he couldn't even control it, but there was nothing he could do in such situations. He could only be there for them and hope that it would be enough.

Raphael lowered his head and took a breath. It couldn’t have been easy for him.

“He’s not very well. He took it pretty hard when Clary told him she had to leave. They were best friends since they were kids. Hell, they were pretty much like siblings. I’ve never really understood that,” he sighed. “He goes to work because he has to but he cancelled all the concerts with his band... I- I don’t know. I hope it’ll get better soon but he doesn’t even want to talk about her.”

“I’m really sorry, Raphael,” Magnus said with sincerity in his voice.

“Welll, we’ll get through this. Somehow,” he took a deep breath. “Anyway, go and pack. And have fun.”

The Skype call was ended and Magnus was staring at the screen of his laptop for a minute until Chairman started meowing demanding his food. That cat was always hungry.

 

Magnus hated packing for such short trips. What was he supposed to pack? He didn’t need that many clothes but how was he supposed to predict what he might actually need? This was a disaster. They didn’t have any specific plans except for Izzy’s panel on Sunday and they had almost the whole Saturday for themselves and there were just too many opportunities in Miami.

Magnus enjoyed Miami the last time he was there. It was one of the very few good moments with Camille when he didn’t feel like their relationship was toxic. Obviously it had always been toxic but in that moment, Camille wasn’t showing her bad side so Magnus could pretend they were happy. It almost felt like centuries ago.

It was difficult for him to know that Camille was back in New York and he caught himself way too often thinking about what she wanted from him. But more often he was thinking about the day she had left him. The day his heart had broken into million pieces and even though he managed to put it back together with the help from Alec and his friends, he was never the same. He was afraid to give his heart to someone else again for so long. It almost felt like he wasn’t even truly alive. But now, being with Alec? Loving someone and being loved equally? That was a feeling he had never experienced before in his life and he almost felt like he was flying.

So he was glad he could make new memories with a person whom he truly loved. A person who was always there for him and supporting him. And spending time with Alec’s siblings and Lydia was just another bonus.

 

Magnus was the last one to arrive at the airport where they were supposed to meet. He loved a great entrance after all, sue him.

“Hello, my dear Isabelle,” he greeted Alec’s sister with a kiss on her cheek. “Congratulations on your panel, well deserved,” he added and gave her a smile.

“Thank you,” she replied and blushed a little.

This was really adorable. This amazing woman who worked so hard was finally getting recognition she deserved but was still blushing when people were congratulating her. Maybe it was a Lightwood thing.

“Lydia, good to see you again,” he gave Izzy’s girlfriend a hug. “You must be so proud of her!”

“Yes! I keep telling her how amazing she is but she never wants to listen,” Lydia chuckled and looked at Izzy who was dismissing her words with a hand.

Magnus gave a quick hug to Max and said hello to Jace. He wasn’t sure if it was a good idea to ask him how he was. His appearance told him a lot, though. Jace’s eyes were still red as if he had been crying before coming to the airport. He had big bags under his eyes which meant he probably wasn’t sleeping very well. Or at all. 

Magnus couldn’t remember him being like this. Ever. Jace was a person who never showed his emotions to the outside world but he felt very deeply. He had been through a lot in his life before being adopted by the Lightwoods and he never truly recovered from that. That’s why he always tried to pretend like he didn’t feel anything. Magnus might’ve not been good friends with Jace but he did understand that approach too well.

Alec was waiting at the end of the welcoming party. A huge, dorky smile on his face and Magnus melted into a kiss, wrapping his arms around Alec’s neck.

“Oh get a room, you guys!” Max yelled at them but it was clear he was just teasing them. He didn’t mind.

 

Most of the flight was relatively uneventful. Magnus even took a quick nap because he had been trying to pack his bags till probably 4 am and was exhausted. He really wasn’t the best at packing his bags.

However, around thirty minutes before the landing, the turbulences started. Magnus didn’t pay much attention to them, even though he did wake up because of them. He was used to them, he was flying very often while taking care of things for the Pandemonium or trying to book DJs or various artists that could make his club more interesting. He found out quite fast that it was much easier to convince someone during a real meeting rather than talking on the phone or writing e-mails.

Magnus had never been on a plane with Alec before, though. As soon as the turbulences started happening, Alec got extremely anxious. He was breathing erratically, he was clutching to his seat so hard that his knuckles were white.

“Hey, Alec,” Magnus touched his hand gently, not wanting to scare him off more. “It’s okay, it’s only a turbulence,” he gave him a reassuring smile.

“Yeah, easy for you to say. We’re probably going to die and I should’ve stayed in New York. I’m a cop and I’m gonna die in a fucking metal machine,” Alec was starting to hyperventilate.

“And people say I’m being dramatic,” he chuckled softly, making sure that Alec wouldn’t think he was making fun of him. Because he really wasn’t. Many people were afraid of flying, especially those who had never been on a plane before or those who were flying relatively rarely. “Is there any way that I can help you?” he was drawing circles on Alec’s wrist, trying to calm him down.

“I just- I hate this,” Alec managed to stay, trying to breathe more steadily which he clearly struggled with.

“We could always join the Mile high club,” Magnus said teasingly, staring right at Alec.

“Wha- Magnus, stop it,” Alec said and immediately started blushing. “Someone will hear you.”

Magnus loved to see him like this. No matter how many times they saw each other naked and no matter how many times they made each other have the best orgasms of their lives, Alec was always a blushing mess. Although recently he finally started being more confident. And confidence looked really hot on him.

They still didn’t have actual sex, though. Not that it really mattered to Magnus because he only wanted to be with Alec. But you couldn’t blame him for thinking about it. He was only human and his boyfried was just too hot.

“I’m only kidding, darling,” he caressed Alec’s cheek, now that his boyfriend looked like he felt a bit better. “Are you okay now?”

“Not really?” Alec replied with a question. “A bit better, though. Just keep talking to me, please?”

And that was exactly what Magnus did. Alec wasn’t saying much back, he never really did. But he was listening to every word coming out of Magnus’ mouth, as if every word was the most important and Alec didn’t want to miss any of them.

Magnus mostly talked about Pandemonium because these days, it was always on his mind. He told him about the party that was going to happen that night and that he was missing it to have fun in Miami. Even though he loved the idea of being able to rest for a little bit, he still felt guilty for leaving and making Ragnor and Raphael take care of things.

It was also supposed to be Maia’s first party as a bartender and he wanted to make sure that everything was going smoothly. Not that he didn’t trust Maia, quite the opposite. But he was always kind of paranoid when it came to changes in his club.

“Magnus, you work so hard. It’s okay to rely on your friends from time to time. I’m pretty sure Raphael doesn’t agree to things he doesn’t want to do, right?” Alec said. His breath was steady again and his hands weren't shaking anymore. Focusing on Magnus’ story made him feel more relaxed, even if he flinched from time to time during more serious turbulences.

“I suppose you’re right.”

They landed in Miami at 4pm. They didn’t have that much baggage and they were waiting for their car soon after that.

It was such a weird feeling. When they were leaving New York only hours ago, it was absolutely freezing. Magnus was wearing his coat and his huge, fluffy scarf. Now he was wearing one of his satin shirts and it was still too hot. The winter in New York was so long that he almost forgot what it was like to feel the sun on his skin.

Clearly he wasn’t the only one enjoying it, Izzy already put on her sunglasses and took off her sweater to catch some sunlight.

Five minutes later a young man appeared next to Izzy. He was wearing a suit and must’ve been boiling inside of it. But you couldn’t see a sign of it.

“Hello, miss Lightwood,” he bowed a bit. Magnus thought it was adorable when Izzy blushed a little. For the second time today. “I’m here to take care of your and your friend’s baggage. You can take the car and the driver will take you wherever you would like to go. He will take you to the hotel when you are ready to go back. And tomorrow he will be waiting to take you to your panel,” he said.

Their whole group clearly thought this was impressive. None of them was ever treated like this and Magnus could see how proud Izzy’s brothers were of her. Magnus was proud of her too, Izzy deserved the royal treatment.

“Thank you,” she replied. “Are you sure you can handle all of our bags? There are six of us,” she added a bit worried.

“It’s okay, miss. You’ll find your bags in your rooms.”

The car turned out to be a big black limo. Jace actually whistled when he saw it, Max’s jaw basically dropped. Nobody could really blame them, it really was spectacular.

Lydia leaned down and gave Izzy a quick kiss. “I’m proud of you, honey. You deserve it.”

Izzy blushed once more but didn’t say a word. She made a gesture to follow her inside the car. They all sat down in very comfortable seats, a bottle of champagne waiting on ice for them to open it.

“Where to, miss?” the driver asked before they started celebrating.

“Could you take us to a nice restaurant, please?” Izzy answered.

“Yes, of course,” the driver said with a gentle smile and then closed the window behind him to give the group some privacy.

Alec took the bottle of champagne into his hands as soon as the car moved. He opened it easily and gave everyone a glass. Even Max got a small one, it wasn’t like he would get drunk with a little bit of champagne.

“Izzy, my dear sister,” Alec said seriously but he couldn't force himself to stay serious for long. He gave her the biggest smile, the one that Magnus fell in love with. “You are the most hardworking person I have ever met in my entire life, I’m so proud of you. Congratulations!” he finished his short speech and everyone raised their glasses.

They all gave Izzy hugs and congratulated her on her success. Izzy couldn’t stop smiling.

This trip was definitely going to improve everyone’s moods.

 

They were sitting at the table outside of this small Cuban restaurant. The driver was absolutely sure they would enjoy the food and would be able to talk peacefully. Not many people knew about this place but whoever went there once, would always recommend it to others later.

“So,” Izzy started talking as soon as they sat down. “We’ve got three rooms. Jace, you’re gonna share one with Max. No complaining,” she added quickly before Jace could say anything, “you’re getting the biggest one. Magnus and Alec will take the second room and Lydia and I the last one.”

They all nodded in agreement and focused on reading the menu for a minute.

Magnus decided on his order very quickly, ropa vieja was one of his favourite dishes. He visited Cuba once and even though he didn’t spend there too long, he absolutely fell in love with Cuban cuisine.

If he was being honest, Magnus loved different cuisines. He considered himself a decent cook and he was trying dishes from the whole world whenever he got a chance.

Magnus travelled a lot. For work and for pleasure. And learning about the local cuisine was at the top of his list. Magnus was sometimes thinking that if he hadn’t owned Pandemonium, he would have had a small restaurant and he would have cooked there. It was a nice thought for the future when he would be too old to deal with everything connected with having a club.

Yes, Magnus loved his job and he was proud of what he was doing. He really was the best at it, Pandemonium was getting awards constantly. But in moments like this one, when he had to work all day and all night, he really wished he could just bury himself under a blanket and not leave for like a month. And the best scenario would be if Alec stayed with him under that blanket.

“So how’s living together?” Magnus finally asked when they all got their food and Lydia lowered her gaze adorably.

“Oh it’s amazing,” Izzy replied excitedly. “We spend so much time together, we actually started working on this new project together. It’s not really connected with my job that much but it’s still amazing,” she smiled and gave Lydia a quick peck on the cheek.

“Care to share any details?”

“Well, as you know,” Lydia started, “I try to help women. Especially abuse survivors. But as soon as they manage to run away from their abusive partners, they’re often left without anything. Most of them also have children who are often the reason why they stay in those relationships for such a long time,” she said matter-of-factly.

Lydia was one of the strongest women Magnus had a pleasure to meet. She had been working on such difficult cases but she was doing great, she helped a lot of people. Izzy chose well.

“So we decided that we want to give them a second chance,” Izzy continued. “We’ve started working on a shelter that would be a safe place for those women. Not only that, it would be a place where they could start earning real money so they can support themselves and their children. I have many contacts because I’m a journalist so we’re even finding new investors. It’s going really well,” Izzy said proudly.

“This is amazing!” Alec stood up and gave his sister a hug and then he hugged Lydia as well.

“Well done, sis!” Jace yelled, he was finally smiling for real and it was a good look on him. “And you too, Lydia,” he added, “you’re a good influence on her.”

“Hey, I’ve heard that!” Izzy pinched him in the arm.

Magnus and Max were congratulating them next and soon they received drinks from the owner of the restaurant. She noticed that they were celebrating so she brought them mojito. What a great way to start their small vacation.

 

They were sitting in the car again and driving somewhere. Izzy told the driver where to take them but she didn’t tell the rest of them. “Come on, guys, it’s a surpise,” she said with a mischievous smile. Nobody dared ask any questions, she wouldn't say anyway.

About twenty minutes later, they realised where she took them. It was a carnival.

It was early evening so it wasn’t very dark outside but you could already see the lights. Colours mixed with each other and crappy music were creating the perfect atmosphere of a place like this one.

Magnus realised very early that the Lightwoods had this weird obsession with carnivals. The first time they took him with them, they were all still back in high school.

At first Magnus wasn’t exactly a fan, the place was strange and old. But the Lightwoods had so much fun, he had never seen them so happy before. Soon he got used to going to carnivals with them and even started to like them himself. In the end, it was mostly about spending time with his friends for him.

“Shooting range. You and I,” Jace said as soon as they got out of the car looking straight at Alec.

“You got it,” Alec replied with confidence.

They didn’t even wait for the rest of the group and almost ran to look for a shooting range in this place.

Magnus shook his head and chuckled. He loved seeing Alec so carefree, not thinking about his work or his mother, just having fun with his siblings.

He was having a conversation with Max and Lydia with Izzy were walking in front of them, their fingers intertwined.

Suddenly, Izzy stopped abruptly. “Magnus, look!” she screamed so loudly that Magnus had to stop talking in the middle of a sentence.

And there it was. One of those dancing machines that you could often find in places like that carnival. Magnus and Izzy had been doing this for years, always trying to beat each other. They were both very competitive people.

“Um, we should go,” Max said to Lydia.

“I’m sorry?” she asked confused.

“See, you’re relatively new here,” Izzy hit him slightly on the shoulder, “stop it, Izzy. She needs to know what she’s signing up for here,” he said with the most serious face.

Lydia was even more confused.

“You saw how my brothers reacted as soon when they got out of the car, right?”

She only nodded.

“Well, when my brothers are obsessed with shooting and trying to be better than the other one, these two,” he pointed his finger at Izzy and Magnus, “are the same with those stupid dancing machines.”

“No, we’re not!” Izzy huffed.

“We kinda are,” Magnus added and laughed. “So bring it on!”

This time it was Max who shook his head. “This is what I’m talking about... As you know, Izzy had been dancing before she even knew how to walk. And Magnus here, he’s also a dancer. Like a really good one. So whenever we go to carnivals, they always try to beat each other. That never happens, though. Still, it can get pretty ugly,” he almost laughed. “So we should probably go and find something else to do meanwhile.”

“Oh, okay. Lead the way then,” Lydia said with a smile.

Magnus and Izzy looked at each other. “We’re not that bad, are we?” she asked, slightly concerned.

He didn’t reply, only laughed and that made Izzy laugh too.

Their dancing started innocently, as per usual, just trying to follow the movements. They were always choosing the hardest level so soon it was a mess of limbs and trying to catch up. However, they really were great at this.

Magnus was moving his hips without any problems, enjoying the music. He hadn’t danced for too long, work was taking too much of his time. He decided not to think about it, though. He was here to rest and relax, not to worry about his job.

Izzy was following all the steps perfectly. Their scores were getting higher and higher.

It was a middle of a song when they started to push each other slightly. Magnus thought that things like this were probably the ones that Max had mentioned to Lydia. He would’ve shrugged but he was trying to pay attention not to miss his steps.

As predicted by Max, they both finished with the perfect score.

“Seriously? Again?” Izzy said, trying to catch a breath. “I will beat you one day!”

“You may dream, darling,” he replied with a smirk. He was also panting a bit.

They walked towards the shooting range where Lydia and Max were already waiting. They were observing Alec and Jace who were still shooting. Magnus had no idea what the score was but they both looked very invested.

Suddenly he felt a wave of heat going through his whole body. Alec shooting, even if it was just a toy gun, was so hot. If they weren’t in public and surrounded by people, especially Alec's siblings, Magnus would probably drop to his knees right there. No regrets.

He coughed quietly in an attempt to pull himself together. “Where to next?” he asked.

“It’s getting a bit late, maybe we should head out to the hotel?” Lydia suggested.

“What? It’s just the beginning of the night!” Max whined. “Don’t be such grandparents.”

Alec and Jace finished shooting. According to a guy, their score was pretty much the same _(not that he really paid much attention, he was more pissed off that not one but two people were hitting the target with great precision and winning all the prizes)_.

Magnus wrapped his hands around Alec’s neck and kissed him. It might’ve been a bit longer than acceptable when your friends were just right next to you, but he couldn’t help himself. He wanted to do much more than just kiss.

"Look, I won this teddy bear, it's yours," Alec tried to say casually and almost jokingly. But Magnus could see on his face that he was wondering if it wasn't too cheesy.

"I love it," Magnus replied and kissed him again.

“So what about a party?” Izzy suggested. “I’m sure we’ll find a place where they will let Max in,” she chuckled and ruffled his hair.

“You’re ruining this work of art, Isabelle,” Max shouted and started fixing his hair.

 

Magnus was wondering when was the last time he went to a party for pleasure, not just for work. He quickly realised that it was a party where he and Alec kissed for the first time. The moment where everything changed. Even though Alec ran away and Magnus really thought he'd fucked up, it all changed for the better in the end. They were trying to make this relationship work and Magnus couldn’t be happier.

“You’re blushing,” Alec teased him. “You never blush. What is it?”

“Wouldn’t you like to know?” he smirked and gave Alec his beer.

Alec wasn’t exactly a drinker. Sure, there were situations where he would drink, sometimes even a lot. But he would always make the most adorable faces whilst drinking. Well, at first. After a while, the alcohol doesn’t taste like much after all.

But if they were going out, Alec would go for the beer. He didn’t mind the taste that much. Or that’s what he was always telling Magnus. Magnus wasn’t sure if he believed him, though.

They were sitting at the bar and looking at Lydia and Izzy wrapped into each other’s arms, slowly moving their hips in the rhythm of music. Not far away from them, Magnus noticed Max who was clearly trying to chat some guy up. The guy was smiling so he must have been doing a good job. Jace was already making out with some girl. A redhead. Magnus only shook his head. He really felt bad for Jace.

It wasn’t his fault that Clary decided to end things but it would be wrong to make Clary a bad person. It was the worst time for both of them. Maybe they needed some space, process things. They really did love each other. So anything could happen.

Magnus put his martini down. “Wanna dance?” he asked, looking at Alec.

“Sure,” he responded with a smile.

Alec put his hands on Magnus’ hips and Magnus wrapped his arms around Alec’s neck. There was barely any space between them. They moved like one body, somehow always knowing how the other one would move.

Magnus was sometimes teaching Alec how to dance and Alec was getting better and better at this. He might’ve not been a pro yet but Magnus considered him his best dancing partner, nobody could ever match with him like Alec did.

They were dancing for what seemed to be forever. The temperature was rising, the club was filled with people.

Their faces were only centimetres away from each other.

“Can I?” Magnus asked with a shy smile.

Alec tilted his head slightly and looked at him. “Are you recreating our first kiss?” he chuckled.

“Hopefully you won’t run away from me this time.”

Alec’s face got red immediately, it could be noticed even in the dim lights of the club. The purest thing that Magnus ever experienced in his life.

Alec was blushing but he didn’t stop looking at Magnus and only nodded his head, just like the first time. He leaned down just a little bit so he could meet Magnus’ lips.

It was one of those kisses that started absolutely innocently. Just a brush of lips, the slightest touch that was leaving a burning sensation on skin and left you wanting for more. So Magnus tilted his head and deepened the kiss, slowly licking Alec’s bottom lip, asking for permission. Alec opened up so easily, the want so clear on his face. On both of their faces.

Alec moved his hands slowly to Magnus’ ass and squeezed it a little bit.

“Alexander,” Magnus purred against his lips and Alec smirked at him.

Oh no, he was definitely not running away from him this time. 

“Should we go back to the hotel?” Alec’s voice was hoarse, the suggestion so clear.

Magnus nodded and took Alec’s hand into his own.

They said their goodbyes to the rest of the group, promising to send the driver back for them. None of them felt like leaving just yet, they were too busy with other people.

“Don’t stay too long, you’ve got your panel tomorrow,” Magnus winked at Izzy.

He was mentally thanking the driver for closing down the window. Honestly, it was a bit of embarrassing just how much they were touching each other in the backseat. Like a bunch of teenagers. But somehow Magnus didn’t care at all, he was way too focused on Alec sucking on his clavicle and it felt so delicious.

As soon as they closed the door to their room, Alec pinned him down to it. Still kissing him and leaving bruises on his neck. Magnus would worry about them in the morning.

“Oh Alexander, I’ve missed this,” he said and felt a smile on Alec’s face. He didn’t need to open his eyes to know this.

Alec was pressing harder into him and unbuttoning his shirt at the same time. It landed somewhere on the floor. He was leaving open mouth kisses on his chest and his abs. Magnus was absolutely gone and cursing his way too tight jeans that were already getting slightly uncomfortable.

Alec seemed to read his mind and put his fingers on Magnus’ belt. He stopped for a second and looked him in the eyes, asking for permission. Always asking for permission. It didn’t matter what they were doing, Alec never assumed anything. And neither did Magnus.

Their relationship was working because communication was the most important thing for them. You could always say no.

Magnus nodded enthusiastically and Alec took his jeans and boxers in one swift motion.

He looked at Magnus and swallowed. “You’re so beautiful,” he said.

Magnus connected their lips again. It was so messy but it felt so right.

Without another warning, Alec dropped to his knees and took Magnus’ dick into his palm. He gave it a few quick strokes and Magnus moaned. He needed Alec’s mouth like he needed air.

Alec traced his dick with his tongue from the base to the slit, tasting the precum that was already there. His long fingers were wrapped around the base and then he took him into his mouth. He was moving painfully slow, leaving Magnus a crying mess. He felt his knees going weak but Alec put a hand on his hip to hold him in place.

Alec was absolutely the best at giving blowjobs. Circling his tongue, changing the pace, making Magnus beg for more.

Magnus was running his fingers through Alec’s hair, tugging it not too hard. Alec was moaning around his dick and the vibrations were going through his whole body, making him shiver.

“Alec, I’m gonna-“ Magnus moaned, he was so close. But he didn’t want it to end, not yet, not so fast.

Alec pulled off his dick with a loud pop and licked his lips. “Oh I want you to. I have other plans for this evening,” he finished and started sucking Magnus off again.

Magnus couldn’t take it anymore, it was too much. Alec’s mouth wrapped so tight around him, his cheeks hollowed. He jerked his hips and came into Alec’s mouth loudly.

Alec stood up and only then he swallowed. Magnus thought he was going to pass out. Alec would be the death of him one day.

Magnus was struggling to catch a breath but he still gave Alec a kiss so he could taste himself on his lips.

He pushed Alec towards the bed. Taking his shirt off while they were still walking and trying not to trip over anything. But their eyes were focused only on each other. Always touching, always tracing fingers against hot skin.

Magnus was already naked but Alec was only shirtless which was a real shame if Magnus could say so. His boyfriend looked so much better without any clothes at all.

Finally they reached the bed and Magnus pushed Alec on it, then he was on top of him.

They were kissing again, breathing each other’s air. Magnus was leaving slow and wet kisses on Alec’s whole body. Sucking gently on both of his sensitive nipples. Alec was arching his back, moaning and groaning. Oh how Magnus loved that sound.

“Can I take those off?” he asked pointing at Alec’s jeans.

“Yes, please,” Alec managed to reply.

Magnus was moving deliberately slowly because he knew how much it was affecting Alec. He was dragging his hand against Alec’s abs, always finding the time to admire them.

The jeans and boxers were gone, landing somewhere on the floor. Finally they were both naked.

Magnus was hovering above Alec, their dicks barely touching but Magnus was already hard again. And Alec? Alec looked like he could explode any second now.

“What do you need, Alexander?” Magnus asked, giving Alec’s dick a slow stroke.

Alec was moaning, not being able to speak. Magnus retracted his hand for a second and looked at Alec.

“I- I need you... Just please fuck me,” Alec said staring right into his eyes.


	12. Let me hear you

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> woah it's been so crazy recently i barely had any time to write and then my laptop died... so i'm sorry it took a long while but i give you a bit over 7k words  
> i hope you're gonna enjoy it just as much as i enjoyed writing it :)
> 
> i really have no excuse for this chapter :P but it was a long time coming  
> buuuut i also loved moments with izzy cause izzy deserves the world
> 
> this chapter is a birthday present for my good friend Susanne <3  
> you can find her here: [@bane-of-brooklyn](http://bane-of-brooklyn.tumblr.com/)
> 
> and if you wanna talk or scream with me, i'm here: [@harryshmjr](http://harryshmjr.tumblr.com)

Alec decided that going to Miami was absolutely the best thing that could happen to him right now. In just couple of hours, he felt so rested and even happier. Forgetting about his problems and work was good for him. He had been so focused on solving the case that he started to forget about himself and those he loved so much.

He ate the best dinner in months right next to his amazing boyfriend and his family. He visited another carnival and had a chance to shoot for fun, not for work, with his brother. He had a chance to have a great time and talk with Jace who was feeling so miserable. But when they were both shooting to targets and trying to be better than the other one, Jace’s face was almost carefree. He was smiling again, even if only for couple of minutes. Baby steps.

Then he was dancing with Magnus again. They hadn’t done it for a while. Alec never considered himself a good dancer but when he was dancing with Magnus, somehow he just couldn’t care. All that mattered was how well they fitted together, like they were made to dance together.

His boyfriend was absolutely amazing, swaying his hips so easily to the rhythm of music. His hands around Alec’s neck, his fingers running through his hair, always sending this electricity down his spine that was making him weak in the knees.

Magnus reminding him about their first kiss made Alec feel so warm inside. That moment when he felt Magnus’ lips on his own would stay with him forever. They’d shared many other kisses since that first time but this one would always be the most important. Even if Alec freaked out and ran away. It was their story and Alec wouldn’t have it any other way.

Getting to the hotel didn’t took long and they couldn’t take their hands of each other. They were both so busy and tired because of work, it felt like they hadn’t touched each other in ages. Not that kind of touch anyway.

And Alec was ready. He had been ready for a while now but wasn’t sure how to ask. He didn’t know when it could happen, he would never assume that Magnus was ready whenever he was.

Alec didn’t want to wait anymore, he didn’t want to find more excuses. He felt ready and at this point he knew that waiting was pointless. Alec loved Magnus for years and they were together now, they did other things and they felt amazingly mind-blowing. Alec trusted Magnus with his life and he really wanted to connect with Magnus in this way.

He wanted to become one.

Kissing Magnus just felt right and so was being with Magnus.

No matter how many times Alec had given Magnus a blowjob, it still made him feel excited, ready for more. He could make Magnus moan just by using his lips and tongue and it was the best feeling, he was getting hard just by doing it. And swallowing whilst looking into Magnus’ eyes? Seeing the desire growing inside of both of them? Alec was ready to explode right there.

Magnus pushed them towards the bedroom. Alec hit the edge of the bed with the back of his knees and landed on bed. Magnus was on top of him.

They were kissing once again, always so close, never enough. Magnus was moving down, kissing his jaw, sucking on his neck. Alec was so gone.

Magnus moved to play with Alec’s nipples. They were so sensitive and Alec was moaning, wriggling in the bed sheets, trying to be even closer to Magnus, he couldn’t stop himself. He didn’t want to. He was arching his back when Magnus was still moving down.

“Can I take those off?” Magnus asked pointing at Alec’s jeans.

“Yes, please,” Alec managed to reply. It wasn’t easy to talk when Magnus was touching him like this. It was like he couldn’t think anymore, all his blood going south.

And Magnus was moving so slowly, Alec could feel every single touch, brush of Magnus’ fingers on his hot skin. Magnus was dragging his hand against Alec’s chest and abs.

He took off his jeans and boxers carefully but with determination. He was getting impatient too and Alec loved that he was the reason for Magnus losing control.

Magnus was on top of Alec again and Alec could feel just the slightest brush of their dicks together. Alec needed more.

Magnus was already hard again and Alec felt like he wouldn’t last much longer.

“What do you need, Alexander?” Magnus asked, giving Alec’s dick a slow stroke.

Alec whimpered. How was he supposed to reply when Magnus was teasing him like this? He rolled his eyes and grabbed the sheets. It wasn’t even that much, they barely started, but it felt like the world was moving too fast.

Magnus retracted his hand for a second and looked at Alec. Alec opened his eyes and looked back at him. There was so much love in Magnus’ eyes, it was almost overwhelming. Although Alec was sure Magnus could read the same thing in his eyes.

“I- I need you... Just please fuck me,” Alec said staring right into Magnus' eyes.

And there it was. He finally said it.

Magnus didn’t say anything back for a while and Alec was about to start freaking out. Maybe it was too soon for Magnus? Maybe Magnus didn’t even want to-

“Oh Alec,” he whispered so gently. He cupped Alec’s face and kissed him.

Alec melted into the kiss, he was calming down. He loved that Magnus could always make him relax, even when he was seriously freaking out. Alec felt safe when Magnus was next to him.

Magnus leaned on his arms, leaving a bit of space between them. And Alec wanted to grab his hips and pull him down. He was already missing his warm body pressed firmly to his own.

“Are you sure?” Magnus asked seriously. He brushed a lock of hair from Alec’s forehead.

“I am, Magnus. I have been ready for a while now, I was just… waiting for the right time, I suppose? I trust you and I love you. And I wanna be with you… Is that okay?” Alec asked.

Magnus kissed him hungrily, pressing harder to Alec’s body this time. The sweat was already forming on Magnus’ neck and Alec’s dick twitched.

“Of course it’s okay, my sweet angel, I want to be with you too,” Magnus said, barely touching Alec’s lips. He was looking at him through his long, beautiful eyelashes. His makeup was already smudged but that only made him even more beautiful and more handsome. Nobody compared to Magnus.

Alec put a hand on Magnus’ hip. He was drawing small circles on Magnus’ skin. They were just looking at each other, like they weren’t on their way to have sex, just admiring each other. Love and affection were filling his whole body and he wanted to connect with Magnus, make them one. 

He cupped Magnus’ face with his one hand, the other one was still on his hip. He pulled him closer, their chests were touching. And Alec moaned, it already felt like it was too much. Magnus’ lips were swollen and more pink than usually and then he connected their lips once more. The kiss was messy and with too much tongue but it felt so right.

Magnus moved to leave some kisses on his jaw and then he bit Alec’s earlobe. 

“If you could only see yourself now,” Magnus murmured into Alec’s ear and Alec felt how hard he was getting. If Magnus was going to continue with this, he wasn’t going to last long.

“Magnus,” he groaned. His eyes were shut, pleasure so obvious on his face.

Alec’s hands were moving frantically on Magnus’ back, trying to reach everywhere, strong and defined muscles under the tips of his fingers.

Magnus was moving slowly, now sucking on the sensitive skin of Alec’s neck. It was always leaving him an absolute mess. He started grinding against Alec painfully slow, their erections barely touching but Alec could feel how hard Magnus was too.

Alec needed to touch him. He needed more. He needed it now.

However, Magnus was taking his time. “Oh honey, we have the whole night,” he said with a smirk.

But Alec wasn’t a very patient person and if he wasn’t already so gone, he might’ve been embarrassed about how desperate for this he already was.

Magnus was sucking on his left nipple. Slow, torturous licks made Alec arch his back. He was trying to muffle his moans with his arm but Magnus took his hand and pinned it to the bed with his own. 

He moved up, his lips were brushing Alec’s. “Let me hear you,” he whispered and Alec felt like he was going to explode any second now.

He nodded and Magnus went back to leaving wet kisses on his whole body.

He bit one of Alec’s nipples and Alec cried out, the pleasure spreading through his body in waves. But it still wasn’t what he needed from Magnus. Not yet.

Magnus was kissing every inch of Alec’s body, like he wanted to worship him. Alec didn’t feel like he deserved it. It was Magnus who should be worshipped. For being his best friend, for being his lover, for being so smart and so beautiful, for being so kind and so patient.

He bit Alec’s hip, his cheek was brushing softly against Alec’s hard dick.

“Stop teasing,” Alec breathed out and Magnus laughed softly against his skin, sending shivers, making his dick even harder. And Alec didn’t know he could even get any harder.

His dick was already leaking and he needed Magnus do something. _Anything._

As if Magnus had read his mind, he suddenly stopped with his sweet, sweet torture. He looked at Alec who could barely catch a breath but was very grateful for this short break. This wasn’t how he wanted to come, barely touched.

“Do we have-?” Magnus started but Alec cut him off quickly.

“In my bag, front pocket,” he managed to say.

Magnus stood up slowly and Alec groaned because of the lack of contact. Magnus smiled gently at him and gave him a quick peck on the lips.

He went in the direction of Alec’s bag, swaying his hips on the way so Alec could admire his perfect ass. And Alec knew that Magnus knew how perfect his body was and how much it affected Alec. He could never stop teasing him.

After a minute Magnus was back, a bottle of lube and a condom in his hand.

“Roll over for me,” he said and Alec did as he was told.

Alec felt the cold sheets against his hard dick and hissed slightly. He heard Magnus chuckle behind him but he couldn’t be bothered to say anything back to this.

Magnus put the lube and a condom next to him. He took one of the pillows and put it gently under Alec’s hips to have better access.

Alec was completely exposed in this position but he never felt more comfortable in his life. He wanted this and he felt safe, he felt loved. And the anticipation for what was about to happen was making him feel dizzy in the best kind of way.

Magnus sat down on Alec’s legs, his erection was pressed to Alec’s ass. A not so subtle reminder of what was waiting for him. Alec moaned again, his voice raspy. He moved his hips to feel Magnus’ dick, he need it so desperately.

Magnus pressed down to him and started leaving another trail of wet kisses.

“So beautiful,” he whispered so quietly that Alec wasn’t sure if he actually heard him or maybe he just imagined it.

Alec was trying to observe Magnus but soon the pleasure was rising again in his body so he clenched the sheets tighter and tried to slow down his breathing. It wasn’t an easy task when every single touch affected him so much.

Magnus bit one of his cheeks and Alec gasped.

“No more teasing, please,” he groaned, his voice was muffled because he was almost burying his face in the other pillow.

“I’ve only just begun, my love,” Magnus replied confidently.

Alec was about to say something to this but Magnus spread his cheeks and Alec felt a hot tongue. Magnus was licking around him and then inside of him oh so slowly. They had done this a couple of times and many of those times Alec came hard and loud very quickly. It felt too good. Magnus’ tongue expertly moving in and out, sucking, leaving Alec a hot mess.

Alec was panting, screaming Magnus’ name, he was so close.

“Magnus, _please,_ ” he begged. He actually begged because the feeling was overwhelming him.

“Oh but I could make you come more than once, my dear Alexander,” Magnus purred when he stopped torturing him with his amazing tongue.

It wasn’t fair. Magnus was too coherent and Alec couldn’t think. All his thoughts were gone. Nothing mattered, just Magnus and his touch against his skin. Magnus pleasuring him and leaving him boneless.

“Mag-Magnus, please,” Alec moaned. “I need this, I need _you._

“Turn around,” Magnus said and stood up.

Alec braced himself on his arms which felt like they were made out of cotton and he slowly turned around, adjusting a pillow under his hips. At the same time Magnus reached out for a bottle of lube. His eyes never left Alec’s body. They were full of desire and arousal. He looked heavenly. His lips were still wet.

Magnus covered his fingers in a generous amount of lube and he leaned down to kiss Alec. Alec’s fingers were running through his hair, he needed to touch Magnus, it was definitely too long since he could touch him. 

Magnus put one finger against Alec’s entrance and circled it couple of times. Alec gasped.

“Are you sure?” Magnus asked seriously, looking for any uncertainty on his face.

“Yes, I’m sure. Are you?”

“Oh I definitely am,” he replied and bit Alec’s bottom lip, slipping the finger at the same time.

Alec’s arched his back. The long, slim finger was breaching him inch by inch. He closed his eyes, trying to adjust to the feeling. A slight burn was mixing with pleasure.

“Is it okay?” Magnus asked.

“Yes, _move._ ”

“So impatient,” Magnus chuckled. “I love you like this,” he added and kissed him right above his hipbone.

Magnus was moving his finger gently, allowing Alec to get used to the feeling. He sped up a bit later and was crooking his finger to find Alec’s prostate. It didn’t take him too long to find it and Alec screamed. He didn’t care.

Magnus added another finger covered in lube. The pace was slow before he moved faster, scissoring two fingers to stretch him open. He was brushing against Alec’s prostate with every other thrust and Alec was whimpering. He could feel the heat building inside of his body and all he could do was shout Magnus’ name. As if it was the only word that ever existed.

Magnus’ took Alec’s throbbing dick into his other hand. He was stroking him slowly whilst still moving his fingers in and out. This was so much, _too much._

“I’m gonna- _Magnus,_ ” Alec breathed out, he wasn’t able to speak. It seemed too difficult.

Magnus moved away his hand and removed his fingers from Alec’s ass and Alec groaned with a disapproval from the sudden lack of touch on and inside of his body.

Magnus leaned down and ran his hand through Alec’s body and it felt like his skin was on fire. The simplest touch was burning but he wanted more. He needed more.

Alec was struggling with breathing. It felt like hours since they landed on the bed, it felt like hours since Magnus started touching him, kissing him, grinding against him.

Alec caught his lips in another bruising kiss, he needed to stay connected with Magnus in every possible way. He was so full of love and he needed to convey it however he could.

“I love you so much, Magnus,” he said between the kisses.

“I love you too, Alexander,” Magnus said back.

And then he was moving again, licking against Alec’s chest, his stomach until he reached his dick. He took it into his hand and gave it a stroke. Alec’s body responded immediately.

Magnus took an open bottle of lube and covered his fingers in it for the second time.

He put one finger into Alec and was moving again, another finger joined it not long after that. He was hitting his prostate again and again and again.

Magnus licked Alec’s dick from the base to the slit, sucking slightly on the head.

Alec could feel the heat of Magnus’ mouth. Without a warning, Magnus swallowed him whole.

“So good,” Alec groaned.

Magnus was moving up and down in the rhythm that matched his thrust and after a while he added a third finger.

Until now they only tried two fingers, Alec had never done this before and was very inexperienced in this field. Magnus wanted to do this right because Alec kept saying that he needed to feel him inside so Magnus was preparing him slowly, showing him how it might feel so he could get used to it.

At first it hurt but Magnus was sucking him and moving faster, faster, faster. Alec couldn’t focus too much on the pain and then it was gone and all that was left was pure pleasure.

“I’m- I’m ready,” Alec was proud of himself that he managed to create this very coherent sentence when he felt so gone.

Magnus pulled out from his dick but didn’t remove his fingers yet. He kept thrusting in and out, in and out.

“ _Please,_ ” Alec knew he kept begging but he couldn’t take it anymore.

Magnus finally removed his fingers and Alec gasped, feeling so empty. He reached out for a condom before Magnus had a chance to do it and ripped out a package with his teeth.

At last he could touch Magnus’ dick. He stroked him couple of times before he rolled a condom on him. Magnus’ eyes were closed and he was panting. He was so hard. Alec needed that thing inside of him like yesterday.

Magnus leaned down and braced himself on his arms. He took Alec’s leg and put it around his hips. He positioned himself against Alec’s entrance and slowly breached the rim with only the head of his dick.

Alec gasped. He tried to calm his breathing down and focus on Magnus who was looking at him, he was trying not to rush this so he wouldn’t hurt Alec. And Alec couldn’t be more grateful.

Yes, he wanted this and he knew what he could expect but he still needed a second.

Alec ran his finger against Magnus’ cheek and connected their lips. He allowed himself to relax, a familiar touch of Magnus’ mouth on his own, a familiar feeling of being kissed by Magnus.

Magnus was pushing in slowly until he bottomed out and then he stopped moving.

He was much bigger than three fingers but the amount of foreplay made it so much easier. It was a little bit of pain connected with a huge amount of pleasure and even more excitement because this was finally happening. 

Alec felt so full, so stretched. Magnus was filling him up in the best possible way and Alec almost came just because of this realization.

He dragged his fingers against Magnus’ skin.

“You can move now,” he said quietly.

And so Magnus did. He was pushing in and out, the thrusts were very shallow at first, barely any movement at all but Alec could feel him moving inside.

Soon Magnus took up a bit faster pace, trying to get deeper, to find Alec’s prostate. Moving his hips in such a way that only Magnus could.

They were both panting, breathing each other’s air, trying to kiss each other but the pleasure was building up inside both of them and they couldn’t think anymore. They were looking for the sweet release.

“You’re so tight, so hot,” Magnus breathed out against Alec’s skin and he bit him not so gently, probably leaving a mark on his neck. Alec didn’t care, in that moment he wanted to be marked by Magnus.

Alec moved his hips to meet every Magnus’ thrust, changing the angle was what did it for both of them.

Magnus moaned and Alec was whimpering. Magnus was hitting his prostate with every push and the heat was building inside of Alec.

“So close,” he groaned and kissed Magnus. 

He dug his nails into his back. “Me too,” Magnus replied.

His eyes were closed, a droplets of sweat on his chest. Magnus put both of his hands on Alec’s hips and picked up the pace and was thrusting into him mercilessly. Alec could’ve sworn that he saw stars.

“Come for me, baby,” he bit Alec’s bottom lip and Alec whimpered.

Nothing could compare to this, to the feeling of Magnus inside of him, to the pleasure that was in every fiber of his body. He was too far gone to be shy now.

“Yes, I need this,” he moaned. “Faster, Magnus, _please._

And Magnus obliged. Not long after, Alec came. A trail of his cum on his stomach and Magnus’. He was screaming Magnus’ name and mumbling how amazing he was. Alec was shivering. This was the best orgasm that he had ever experienced. The hot, overwhelming pleasure inside of him and he felt so limp.

But Magnus kept going, looking for his own release.

Alec couldn’t move so he pulled Magnus closer to himself so he could get a better access to his neck. He was licking and sucking. Magnus’ movements became erratic and Alec sank his teeth into his Adam’s apple, he also clutched around him. That seemed to do the trick.

“ _Alexander_ ,” he yelled and kept riding his orgasm. He fell on Alec’s chest, not caring about his weight.

They were breathing heavily, their chests moving up and down.

They were just lying in this tight embrace, not wanting to disconnect yet. Not saying anything either. Alec was slowly running his hand against Magnus’ back. Magnus was drawing slow circles on his chest. And even that gentle touch was like a burning sensation on his oversensitive skin.

But after a while Magnus pulled out reluctantly and Alec whimpered, suddenly feeling so empty.

Magnus threw the used condom into a trash bin and then came back to bed. He wrapped himself around Alec, his legs between Alec’s.

“So that happened,” Alec broke the silence.

Magnus chuckled and looked at him. “Yes, it did. How are you?”

“I think you just blew my mind, I’ve never felt like this before,” Alec replied with honesty, his filter was still gone.

“The pleasure was mine,” Magnus smiled at him and kissed him.

It was a slow kiss but not any less passionate. It was a kiss that was saying ‘I love you with my whole heart, you mean everything to me.’

“Shower?” Magnus asked.

“Definitely.”

They stood up and looked at the mess that they created in their bed, they laughed. And it was so carefree.

When was the last time Alec felt like this? So… happy.

 

Magnus walked in front of him and Alec noticed the scratches on his back. He put a hand on Magnus’ shoulder and left a small kiss there. Magnus hissed slightly.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to,” Alec said and kissed his back again.

“It’s okay, honey. I love them,” he turned back so Alec could see the smile on his face.

Alec opened the shower door and noticed that his wonderful boyfriend was still standing in the doorframe, leaning against it.

“Oh,” Magnus said under his breath.

“What is it?” Alec asked confused.

“Well,” Magnus purred and walked behind him. He put his hands on Alec’s hips and Alec leaned against his broad chest. “You might have a beard burn on your beautiful ass,” he chuckled.

Alec turned around so he could face him, he raised his brow a little bit.

“Sorry?” Magnus said softly and Alec kissed him, pulling him into the shower with himself.

They were covered in cum and sweat. Magnus’ makeup was a disaster and his always perfect hair was a mess. Alec was so proud of himself that he was the reason for this.

The warm water was slowly pouring on their still sensitive bodies.

He got out of the shower for a second and grabbed makeup remover wipes from Magnus’ bag. He didn’t have any problems with finding them.

He felt cold outside of the shower but as soon as he got back inside, he felt warm arms around his body.

Carefully he took out one of the wipes and started removing the rest of Magnus’ makeup. He was moving slowly, trying not to irritate the skin. Alec had never done this before but he’d seen Magnus doing this countless times before. Alec was afraid to ask but he wanted to do this, it had been on his mind for a long time.

When Magnus’ face was makeup free, Alec cupped his face and kissed him. Magnus leaned into the touch, a blissful smile on his face.

Then Alec grabbed a sponge and a shower gel. He was cleaning Magnus’ whole body. Arms, chest, midriff.

He dropped to his knees and Magnus gasped. Alec couldn’t help but smirk. But the only thing he did was clean the lower parts of his body.

“Turn around,” he said as he stood up and Magnus did as he was told.

Alec moved on to washing his back. He tried to be very gentle, the scratches even more visible now. He was leaving kisses on his skin as soon as the pouring water removed the rest of the lather. Then he took a bottle of shampoo into his hand and started massaging Magnus’ scalp. Magnus hummed and Alec was standing right behind him so he could see that Magnus closed his eyes, clearly enjoying the treatment.

When he finished, he hugged Magnus in his waist and hid his face in the crook of his neck.

Magnus turned around to face him. “What was that for?” he asked with a smile.

“I just wanted to-“ he lowered his head. He was back to a stuttering mess and he hated it. He had nothing to be afraid of, nothing to be embarrassed about. “I guess I just wanted to admire your amazing body, to thank you for what we did tonight,” Alec could feel he was blushing. Maybe Magnus would think it was because of the hot water. Or at least Alec hoped he would.

“You don’t need to thank me, Alexander,” he purred, his lips brushing Alec’ gently.

 

Being washed was definitely in the top 5 things Alec had the pleasure to enjoy with Magnus. With tonight’s orgasm being number one obviously. But that list was only getting longer and longer.

Magnus was deliberately slow, almost teasing him. And if Alec was already semi-hard, nobody could blame him. This was _The Magnus Bane Effect_.

“Do you want me to take care of it?” Magnus whispered right into Alec’s ear, licking the earlobe.

Alec shivered, even though the water pouring on them was hot. 

He nodded his head, not being able to say anything.

Magnus wrapped his long fingers around Alec’s dicks and gave him a stroke. Alec put his arms on Magnus’ shoulders for support because he didn’t trust his own body, he could easily fall.

Magnus moved his hand slowly, keeping eye contact with Alec all the time. Alec was glad that suddenly he didn’t feel embarrassed anymore. All he felt was pleasure building inside of his body yet again because of the most amazing man who was standing in front of him. His body pressed firmly to his own.

Magnus sped up a little and Alec hid his face in the crook of his neck, panting. He was exposed to all that skin of Magnus’ neck so he started leaving kisses there. Soon he was sucking and biting and licking which earned him a moan from Magnus. He couldn’t help himself from biting Magnus’ Adam’s apple yet again. He had a thing, he couldn’t help it.

Alec was so close.

He wanted to kiss Magnus but the feeling was overwhelming him and he was struggling with catching a breath.

“Magnus, I’m so-“ he moaned into his mouth.

“It’s okay, I’ve got you,” he said and circled his hand around the head of Alec’s dick.

It didn’t take much longer and Alec came with Magnus’ name on his lips.

Magnus kissed him passionately and held his hands on Alec’s hips to support him because Alec was still shaking from his orgasm.

“Do you want me to?” Alec managed to ask looking down at Magnus.

“I’m fine, darling,” he replied and gave him a quick peck on the lips. “Let’s finish up and go to bed,” he smiled and Alec only nodded.

Alec was so exhausted. So much happened during the day. First he almost died on a plane. _Yes, he did. And nobody could convince him otherwise._ Then he spent the whole day with his family, trying to catch up, trying to make Jace feel at least a little bit happier. Then the party and now this.

Alec couldn’t believe it finally happened. The most perfect day and even more perfect night.

And he had thought a lot about this, he fantasized about this. Magnus inside of him, them having sex for the first time. But none of his very detailed fantasies could match the reality.

Magnus was so gentle with him, making sure he was okay but at the same time he knew when to move harder and faster and leave Alec a mess. 

Alec couldn’t wait till the next time they would have sex.

 

They wrapped fluffy towels around their bodies and left the bathroom.

Magnus turned on the lights but Alec was only looking at his wonderful boyfriend, how could he stop staring at him? His hair was still damp, droplets of water running on his chest. And all Alec wanted to do was to lick it off and have another round with Magnus.

God, he became a monster.

“Oh, another set of bed sheets? How thoughtful of you, Alexander,” Magnus smirked and brought him back from his thoughts. “You really planned all of this,” he chuckled.

“What?” Alec shook his head in confusion.

He looked at a small couch that was standing in front of the huge bed. And just like Magnus said, there was another set of bed sheets lying there. Alec could feel his face going red again.

“Izzy,” he whispered, not even looking at Magnus.

“What’s that, darling?”

“It was Izzy,” Alec repeated.

“What was Izzy?”

Alec took a deep breath. “She must’ve known we’d have sex… So she asked for a second set for us,” Alec finally said and hid his face in his hands.

He heard Magnus laughing. Of course he was, he always found such situations amusing.

“Stop laughing, she’s not gonna drop it tomorrow, she’s gonna ask questions,” Alec groaned. “Please just kill me now, end my suffering, I’m begging you.”

Magnus walked to him and hugged him from behind. His head was on Alec’s shoulder and he left a kiss there.

“Alexander, it’s okay,” he said calmly. “Your sister might be a bit nosy but she’s going to be happy for you, for us,” he kissed his neck and unwrapped his arms.

He dropped his towel and Alec could admire his whole body once again. He couldn’t help himself to look at Magnus’ ass again. 

Magnus noticed it immediately and laughed. “Come to bed,” he said.

They changed the sheets fast and left the messy ones in the laundry basket in the bathroom.

Alec dropped his towel as well and hopped into the bed where Magnus was already lying. Spread so beautifully on the sheets so Alec could admire every inch of his body. And even though he was so tired, he could still feel his dick getting hard again. But he tried to pay no attention to it. He lied down and assumed the position of a small spoon. Magnus wrapped his arms around him to pull him closer to himself. Alec felt his slow breathing against his skin and that’s how he fell asleep.

 

He was sitting on the bed, already dressed. He was shaking his leg without much thought, looking at the screen of his phone all the time. They were supposed to be already leaving if they wanted to be on time for Izzy’s panel. And if there was one thing that Alec truly hated, it was to be late or make people wait for him.

“Hurry up, Magnus!” he shouted at his boyfriend who was still in the bathroom.

Magnus walked out of the bathroom two minutes later and Alec’s jaw dropped. He was wearing those amazing tight jeans that Alec loved so much and a cobalt blue shirt with a high collar. It was underlining his Adam’s apple and Alec realized just how serious his _thing_ for it was. He really wanted to sink his teeth in it again.

He shook his head, trying to clear his mind.

Magnus stylized his hair perfectly, adding couple of inches to his height. His makeup was flawless as always. Dark blue nails finished off the look. Alec had no idea when Magnus had time to apply nail polish but he wasn’t about to question it.

“You can’t hurry up perfection, Alexander,” he smirked when he saw Alec’s reaction. “How do I look?” he turned around to show off the whole look.

Alec stood up and kissed him. “You know you look perfect. Now let’s go or we’re gonna be late.”

Alec felt a bit underdressed standing next to Magnus but it wasn’t anything new. Magnus knew a lot about fashion, he knew how to dress and he could pull off basically any look.

Alec’s clothes weren’t bad. No. He just didn’t pay much attention to them. And most of them were in dark colours. He just felt more comfortable in them. He hated when people were noticing him. And it was so easy to be almost invisible and anonymous in such a big city as New York.

They were supposed to meet the rest of the party in the hotel lobby. As soon as they got out of the elevator, they noticed Izzy, Lydia, Jace and Max standing there and waiting for them.

“Hi,” they greeted each other.

“Finally you’re here, I was about to go to your room!” Izzy punched Alec slightly in the arm and he winced.

“I’m afraid I’m to blame for this,” Magnus said sheepishly. “It takes forever to look like this,” he chuckled.

Izzy looked at him with a smile. “Oh please, you always look amazing. You just want us to admire you,” she replied and Magnus chuckled. It was true.

They were walking towards the exit so they could get to the venue.

“Wait a second,” Izzy stopped them. “You two had sex last night.”

Suddenly everyone stopped. Alec felt the blush already showing up on his face. Everyone was staring at him and Magnus. And Alec didn’t like all this attention, especially if them having sex was the reason for all of it.

“We have been for a while now, thank you very much,” he tried to play it cool. He knew it wasn’t working, not with that blush on his face. This was a disaster.

“Well duuuh. But I mean like actual sex.”

Alec opened his mouth to say something but nothing came out.

“Please stop,” Jace grimaced. “Or I’m gonna have to bleach my eyes.”

Max and Lydia laughed. And so did Magnus. Of course he did.

“Hey, I’m happy for you,” she winked in their direction.

And just like that, she dropped the topic. And Alec was about to be grateful that this was the end of this conversation but that wasn’t the end of his suffering. Oh no.

“Nice hickey, big bro,” Max pointed at his neck where Magnus bit him last night.

Instinctively, Alec tried to cover it up with his hand but it was pointless. There was nothing that he could do about this now. Alec couldn’t remember the last time he was so embarrassed. He definitely didn’t want his siblings to realise how his sex life looked like.

Everything was kind of blurry but suddenly he felt a kiss on his cheek and an arm on his hip.

“Hey, it’s okay,” Magnus said calmly. “You know they’re just teasing you.”

And yes, Alec knew. Of course he did. But he was still blushing. However, when Magnus intertwined their fingers, he started to breathe properly. It was okay. There was no reason to freak out about this.

“Can we go now?” he finally said. “I thought we didn’t want to be late.”

 

They all sat in the first row, right in front of the big scene. The long table was currently empty but the panel was about to start any second now.

Alec was more relaxed now and really excited for it. They were all talking about the panel and how happy they were for Izzy. Lydia couldn’t shut up.

Even though Alec knew that Izzy was very happy with Lydia, he still didn’t have much time to spend time with both of them. He only knew the stories that Izzy was telling him. And that was enough for some time but now he got a chance to experience it with his own eyes. All he ever wanted was for his siblings to be happy and now he could see that Izzy’s life was amazing.

Alec didn’t understand much from the panel, he didn’t know anything about fashion or fashion designers. Or how it could influence people’s lives. He never really paid attention to any of this. But seeing Izzy answering all the questions with great confidence, he realized that maybe he should have. Even if it was only for Izzy.

Izzy was smiling. It was clear that she was well respected in her field, not only by the readers but also by her fellow journalists.

Alec was so proud. They all were. Lydia was so excited that she was almost ready to clap after everything that Izzy said but they managed to stop her. However, Izzy did notice that and sent a kiss in Lydia’s direction, making her girlfriend blush so adorably.

 

The panel ended and they were waiting in line to congratulate Isabelle. When they finally got a chance, she threw herself into their arms. It was time for The Lightwood Hug. With an addition of two wonderful people, Magnus and Lydia.

“So, what did you think, guys?” she finally asked.

“You were amazing!”

“So confident!”

“And you were so funny!”

They were all shouting and it was difficult to really understand what any of them tried to say. Izzy laughed.

“Thank you, it means so much to me. I had so much fun.”

They were about to leave and eat out, they had to go back to New York that day. But one of the security guys stopped them.

“I’m really sorry to interrupt,” he began. “But this young lady really wanted to tell you something and didn’t get a chance during the panel. Normally I wouldn’t allow this,” he said sheepishly. “But I think you might like it.”

They were all staring at him, a teenage girl with long blonde hair was standing behind him.

Izzy blinked. “Yeah, sure,” she replied and the security guy left them.

The blonde girl was now alone and clearly overwhelmed by the whole experience. Alec could relate to the feeling.

“Hi, I’m Christina,” she said with a small smile. “I don’t want to take much of your time but I really just wanted to thank you.”

“Thank me?” Izzy was confused.

“Yes, of course!” Christina almost shouted, now that she started she obviously found her courage back. “You are such a role model to me. The way you write, how carefully you choose the topics you write about. And now the secret project that you’re working on with your girlfriend-“

“How did you-“

“Oh, I’m sorry. My dad is one of the sponsors, I kind of asked him to be one when I heard him talking to my mum about it and I realized it was about you. Because I just wanted to support this amazing idea. But I’m a teenager so that was the only thing I could do and-“

“Thank you so much, Christina” Izzy hugged her. There were already tears in her eyes. “This means so much to me and Lydia.”

Lydia was standing right behind Izzy and nodded with a big smile on her face.

“Oh it was nothing, really. I was dealing with some problems in my life and I started writing because of you. I’m more focused on the travelling but your articles really changed my life. So thank you again.”

Izzy hugged her again and then Christina ran in the direction of the exit.

Izzy absolutely broke down into tears when they were on their way to the restaurant. The tears of happiness couldn’t stop falling of her chin. Alec had never seen her so happy. Izzy deserved everything that was good in this world.

 

Before Alec realized, they were already on the plane on their way back to New York.

“Can’t we just stay in Miami forever?” he asked Magnus who was holding his hand, drawing slow circles to calm him down. Yes, there were turbulences again and Alec felt like he would die. Again.

Magnus chuckled. “It doesn’t matter where we are,” he cupped Alec’s cheek and kissed him. “As long as we’re together.”


	13. Who cares about pizza?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you for your patience, guys! but i finally have a new chapter for you :D
> 
> thanks for all the kudos and thank you for reaching out to me with your opinions, this means everything to me and makes me want to write this fic :)
> 
> TRIGGER WARNINGS FOR THIS CHAPTER: panic attacks and blood  
> so please be careful
> 
> you can find me on tumblr you can find me on tumblr [@harryshmjr](http://harryshmjr.tumblr.com)

Magnus certainly hadn’t expected that the short vacation in Miami would end up like it did. But he wasn’t about to complain. The most mind-blowing orgasm that he had ever experienced. His first time with Alec. And he was already addicted. He wanted more, more, more.

They landed in New York. Magnus would probably say something about the horrible weather and being back in the middle of a freaking winter but since his lips were attached to Alec’s, he couldn’t be really bothered. He wasn’t cold either, after all he only needed Alec who was always warm.

“You guys are cute,” Izzy cooed.

“No, you guys are gross,” Max added and wrinkled his nose. “Jace, I’m staying with you tonight cause those walls are way too thin and I’m way too innocent for what is about to happen.”

Magnus laughed. Obviously they would be quiet. Wouldn’t they?

He looked at Alec who buried his face in Magnus’ shoulder, clearly trying to hide his blush. Wasn't he just adorable?

“Thank you for a lovely weekend, Izzy,” Magnus said, trying to change the subject.

“Oh I’m sure it was lovely,” she smirked.

“You’re impossible,” he chuckled but gave her a tight hug.

“It’s a talent,” she replied and hugged him back.

 

The journey home didn’t take much time. They were sitting in a taxi because using the subway would take too much time. Time that they could use for something so much better. It would take forever to get to Alec’s flat if they went by subway.

Magnus finally felt the real coldness when they got out of the taxi. He put his arms around Alec’s waist so he could be even closer to his boyfriend. Alec looked at him and kissed his forehead. Magnus couldn’t help but close his eyes and enjoy the feeling.

“Wanna take a shower? I’m gonna order something to eat. Is pizza okay?” Alec asked when they finally reached his flat.

Magnus only managed to take his coat off and kicked the boots in the corner. He was lying on the couch, his eyes closed. But he wasn’t sleepy. His head was buzzing, all he could think about was the night that he had spent with Alec. The way their bodies worked together perfectly, the sounds that were coming out of their mouths. So much love that it could be felt in the air. It wasn't just sex.

Magnus was trying to remember every single detail. What he said, what Alec said, what they did and how they did it.

It certainly wasn’t his first time but it felt like the most significant one. And now they had the rest of their lives to fill them up with even more moments like that one.

In that moment Magnus realized that he wanted to spend the rest of his life with Alec. No, he didn’t want to propose just yet. But before that, he had never really allowed himself to think about marriage. It felt like nobody would want to be with him for that long. That maybe he wasn’t worth it. Or maybe that was just ‘after Camille’ effect. He couldn’t be sure. But Alec made him feel that it was possible to love so deeply and be loved back equally. Something that Magnus had never experienced in his life.

He still caught himself thinking that maybe all of this is just temporary. But right now, he pushed those thoughts away. He didn't want to worry and ruin the evening.

Magnus sat up and looked at Alec who was staring at him, clearly waiting for an answer.

“Pizza’s fine,” he said. “But you are totally joining me in the shower,” he added with a smirk.

Alec chuckled but didn’t say anything to this. He didn’t need to, the answer was so obvious in his eyes.

Magnus probably should feel bad about making Max stay with Jace but he couldn’t really bring himself to it. He wanted to spend another night with Alec so badly. Sue him.

He would make it up to Max somehow. And it wasn’t like it would happen every day. They would figure it out. Max was too important to Alec so he would never leave him. Magnus would never even ask, Max was important to him too and he needed help. Magnus was determined to do everything in his power to help as well.

And Max was about to graduate soon anyway, go to college. They could absolutely make it work.

 

Alec made their order and sat down on the couch next to Magnus. They looked at each other and started laughing. There was something pure between them. This easy feeling that it didn’t always have to be sexual tension between them. They could just be like they used to be for all those years. Making each other laugh for whatever reason. Now it just could go to making out on the couch very quickly.

Magnus put his hand on Alec’s shoulder and pulled him towards himself. Alec went easily, a smile on his face when they kissed. Magnus couldn’t help but smile back.

It was a slow kiss at first but it was getting more intense with every minute. That seemed to be the pattern between them but Magnus couldn’t say that he was complaining. He could never get tired of this, where a simple kiss was making him feel like he could explode. He was the happiest man on the planet. That had to be the case.

Alec was so close to him. Magnus licked his bottom lip and Alec opened up for him. The brush of their tongues made him feel sparks under his skin. A small moan came out of Magnus’ mouth before he could stop it. He didn't really want to, though.

“Well, someone is eager tonight,” Alec chuckled and pushed Magnus on his back.

“For you? Always,” Magnus replied and pulled Alec with himself so he could land between his legs.

They both chuckled at the same time and then continued their lazy kisses. Alec moved a little bit down so he could leave kisses against Magnus’ jawline. Then he licked his earlobe and bit it gently. Magnus thrusted his hips absentmindedly. He could already feel how much it affected him and he definitely regretted wearing one of the tightest pair of jeans that he owned. Magnus was slowly getting hard and he needed Alec to either do something quickly or maybe just stop before the pizza guy caught them in the middle of an act. Because soon Magnus would lose the rest of his control.

Alec moved on to suck on his neck. Magnus tilted his head to give him better access. He was breathing faster. And so was Alec. He put his hands on Alec’s hips to pull him even closer to himself, looking for any kind of friction. But Alec stayed firmly, hovering over his body.

“Pizza is gonna be here any second now,” Alec said between all those wet kisses on Magnus’ neck and now collarbone.

“Who cares about pizza?” Magnus asked maybe a bit too desperately but at this point he really couldn’t care less. All he could think about was Alec. And his dick.

Alec laughed but at least he stopped teasing. He moved his hips slowly, finally giving Magnus the friction that he so desperately needed. A not so quiet moan came out of Magnus’ mouth, Alec was panting above him. A hot breath on Magnus’ neck sending the shivers through his whole body. His blood was going south.

“This. _Off,_ ” Magnus said pointing at Alec’s shirt. He needed to feel those strong muscles under his fingertips.

But Magnus managed to open only first two buttons before there was a knock on Alec’s door.

They both sighed as Alec stood up to pay for their food.

Meanwhile, Magnus managed to sat up. He ran his fingers through his hair, trying to make it look a bit more presentable. Not that there was any point in doing that, it would get ruined soon anyway.

Alec put the pizza on a coffee table and took two beers out of the fridge.

He sat down and took a slice of pizza into his hand. Magnus didn’t waste any more time and sat in his lap, smirking slightly at the gasp he got out from Alec.

“Magnus, the food…” he started.

“Uhm, yes,” Magnus replied opening another button of Alec’s shirt. “Sure, very important,” and another button was opened.

Alec was still holding his slice of pizza when his shirt was already opened and Magnus bent down to leave a kiss against his collarbone. He pressed the palm of his hands to Alec's broad chest, he was caressing the skin gently, playing with his chest hair.

Alec closed his eyes and his arm was falling down slowly but Magnus took his slice of pizza before it had a chance to stain the couch.

“We don’t want it to get dirty, do we?” he asked with a smirk and took a bite. “It’s a good pizza,” he added with another smirk.

“ _Magnus,_ ” Alec breathed out, his hands were on Magnus’ hips, the thumbs drawing small circles on the exposed skin.

“Yes, darling?” Magnus asked seriously but moved his hips, grinding against Alec. “Want a bite?” he hovered the slice of pizza in front of his face.

Alec took a deep breath to gain at least a bit of control and then took a bite of pizza.

Magnus was kissing him again as soon as he swallowed.

And this was how they continued to eat. Slow bites, slow movements of their hips, slow kisses. And with every slice they had more problems with breathing properly. This felt so incredibly domestic and Magnus loved every second of it.

Magnus took a bottle of beer and started drinking. He was making sure to expose his throat just enough so Alec couldn’t stop looking at it. He loved when Alec was doing this. Like nothing else around them existed.

He wanted to give the bottle to Alec but he only shook his head. He cleared his throat and was serious again.

“I need to-“ he started. “I need to talk to you about something.”

Well, that certainly wasn’t anything that Magnus had expected.

“What about?” he asked.

Alec lowered his head so he wasn’t looking at Magnus anymore. “About Camille.”

“Wow, what a great way to kill the mood, Alexander,” Magnus huffed and stood up. He went to the kitchen and put the beer bottle on the counter. He didn’t want to look at Alec when he came to the kitchen after him. Alec didn’t say a word. He just stood there, as if he was waiting for Magnus to continue the conversation.

“Look,” Magnus said as he turned to face him. “I told you I don’t need to see her if it’s making you uncomfortable.”

Alec shifted on his feet and came a bit closer to him. But not close enough.

Magnus really wished they didn’t have this conversation. Camille was the last subject he would like to bring up right now. Or ever in the future if he was being honest. He enjoyed their honeymoon phase. Camille definitely didn't belong to that part of their relationship. She didn't belong in their lives at all.

“That’s not- I mean, yes. It is making me uncomfortable,” Alec said honestly but not really looking at Magnus. “But I understand it and it’s fine. But-“ he sighed.

This time it was Magnus who came closer and he put his hand on Alec’s shoulder. And his second hand under Alec’s chin so he could make him look at him.

Alec took a deep breath. “Can we go back to the couch? There’s something I need to tell you. To ask you.”

Magnus was confused. “Okay.”

They both sat down, a noticeable distance between them. Magnus was looking at him but Alec was very focused on his hands. Magnus didn’t hurry him., he could tell that it was something important but also difficult. And it was never easy for Alec to talk about such things. Was is easy for anyone?

“Okay so,” Alec finally started, “you know that me and Raj visited Valentine Morgenstern in prison recently.”

Magnus only nodded, he didn’t want to interrupt.

“He said something.”

Well, that was probably the point of the visit, right? But Magnus didn’t say that out loud. It wasn’t the time for the snarky comments.

“He told us that he knew about the next target of The Woman,” Alec said slowly, trying to look at Magnus but clearly struggling with it.

Magnus sat a bit closer to him and took Alec’s hand in his own. Alec gave him a little smile.

“He said she wanted to make a deal with a club owner. So we wouldn’t be able to arrest so many of her drug dealers. He told us the name of this club.”

“Well? What is it?” Magnus asked after a minute of silence between them.

“It’s Pandemonium, Magnus.”

Apparently it was an evening of unpleasant surprises. Because Magnus didn’t expect this. At all. Someone was trying to make a deal in his own club? Someone-

_Oh._

Magnus blinked and stood up. Alec’s eyes followed him.

“Are you trying to say that-“ Magnus started but the words couldn’t leave his mouth.

Yes, Camille might have been an evil person. But she just enjoyed breaking people’s hearts, maybe play with their lives a little bit. It was her sick way of having fun. But being a drug lord? That didn’t sound like Camille he knew. She could never-

“I’m sorry, Magnus,” Alec said quietly.

Magnus still couldn’t find the right words.

“Why?” he asked instead.

Alec looked at him confused.

“Why are you telling me this now? Why not sooner?”

“I just-“ Alec sighed once more and stood up. He went to the window and looked through it. He was silent for way too long but Magnus couldn’t find any words to fill that silence. He needed answers. “I wanted us to have that weekend. No worries, you know?” he replied after what seemed to be forever.

“No worries? Alec, you can’t hide things like that from me and then pretend like everything is okay,” he tried to stay calm, he really did. It wasn’t easy.

In some ways he understood why Alec had done that but it still hurt. They were supposed to trust each other and say everything that was important, hiding things was never the answer.

“This is my club we’re talking about,” he continued. “And my ex-girlfriend being possibly a ruthless drug lord. You should’ve told me as soon as you learnt about this. I should’ve known. I might’ve done something about-“ his voice was shaky, the tears were filling his eyes and he was about to lose it.

Alec came to him and hugged him. Magnus wanted to fight him but he simply couldn’t. He wrapped his arms around Alec’s waist. “You should have told me,” he repeated quietly.

“I know. I’m really sorry. I didn’t know how to say it. It’s really difficult.”

Magnus looked at his boyfriend. The guilt was obvious in his eyes and even though Magnus wanted to stay mad at someone, he knew Alec wasn’t to be blamed for this. It would have always been a difficult conversation. No matter if Alec had come to him as soon as he got that information.

Magnus went back to the couch and sat down again. He opened another bottle of beer that was still standing on a coffee table. He took a huge sip and blinked. He wished he was in his loft where the hard liquor was. Alec never had any because he didn’t like it. And now Magnus definitely needed a glass of something strong. Or maybe five glasses. Because this was too much and he felt like he was part of some sick prank.

“So what next?” he finally asked and Alec looked at him.

His boyfriend sat on the other end of the couch.

“We have no proof. The only thing we have is the fact that she’s a woman and that Morgenstern said she wanted to make a deal with you. And since Camille reached out to you, I think it just has to be her. Unless you talked with someone else about any new deals?”

Magnus tried to think hard. There had to be someone else talking to him about some new deals and Camille asking for a meeting was definitely a weird coincidence. It had to be. Magnus might have not had any feelings for her anymore but she was still part of his past. He couldn’t just forget about her. Or worse… Assume that she somehow became this… This person. But he couldn’t think of anyone else. Not even a man. Not a single person reached out to him recently. So Alec must have been telling the truth.

Magnus shook his head. “I’m- I’m trying really hard to think about _anyone_ else but I just- I got nothing,” he replied. “What can I do?”

It was his club. And if it really was Camille, he would do anything to stop her. Not just because of his club, not because of their history. But because too many people suffered because of this fucking case. It was time to make it end. If he could help, he would. He didn’t even have to think twice about this.

“You don’t have to-“ Alec said quickly.

“I _need_ to do this, Alexander. If you’re right, I can’t just sit here and do nothing.”

“It can be dangerous. You haven’t seen her in years. You don’t know what she’s capable of.”

Magnus opened his mouth to say something. Something like ‘of course I know what she’s capable of’. But clearly that wasn’t true. He would’ve never suspected Camille of doing something so horrible. He thought he knew Camille. They had been together for a long time, even if their relationship wasn’t healthy, she didn’t seem like such a cruel person.

“I need to do this. We can solve this together.”

Alec hugged him again. “I really don’t want you to do this,” he said but he buried his face in the crook of Magnus’ neck so his voice was muffled. “If anything happened to you, I would-“

“It’s going to be fine, Alexander,” Magnus said in a calm voice. Even though he wasn’t calm at all. But freaking out right now would only make this whole situation worse.

They were sitting in this tight embrace for a long time. They were both trying to keep calm and make the other one relax. The familiar scent of Alec’s cologne was grounding Magnus. He began to think clearly again.

“So what’s the plan?”

Alec unwrapped his arms and now he was looking right at him. “Are you absolutely sure? You can say ‘no’ and I won’t allow my mother to come anywhere near you.”

“Oh, so it’s Maryse’s plan,” Magnus rolled his eyes, trying to hide an uncertainty that crawled back under his skin.

“It’s a standard procedure,” Alec replied. He either didn’t notice how unsure Magnus was or decided to ignore it. “You would arrange a meeting with her like you had planned. But before that, we would put extra cameras and microphones around the table you would sit at.”

“Okay, seems logical.”

Alec continued. “The hard part is that you would have to make her confess. She has to say exactly that her plan is to sell drugs in Pandemonium. Without it, we have nothing and we can’t arrest her.”

This wasn't going to be easy. No. But Magnus knew he could somehow make her admit that she was The Woman. Nobody else would get hurt anymore.

“Okay, let’s do this. I’ll have Ragnor arrange the meeting with Camille soon. How much time do you need?”

“Couple of hours,” Alec said. He was a detective now, not Magnus’ boyfriend. “So have Ragnor arrange that meeting as soon as possible. But we don’t want her to suspect anything.”

“Trust me, Ragnor can handle this.”

 

When Magnus told Ragnor about the whole situation, he didn’t expect his friend to be so… not surprised. Apparently only Magnus couldn’t believe that Camille was The Woman. Ragnor told him that Magnus always wanted to see the goodness in people’s hearts. Even when he was hurt so many times in the past, it only made him good and kind.

Magnus didn’t want to inform his whole staff about this issue. Alec advised him against it as well. The less people knew about this, the better. But he had to tell Raphael since he was the head of security, he could help the police with the cameras and microphones.

Raphael wasn’t surprised about Camille either. “Honestly, my friend. You’re too good for this world,” he told him and Magnus wanted to punch him in the face. But gently because Raphael was one of his best friends after all.

Pandemonium had never felt so foreign to him. He was used to strangers coming to his club almost every day but they were all coming to have fun, to enjoy themselves. Not to catch a dangerous criminal who might have also been his ex-girlfriend who he loved a lot in the past.

This was so fucked up.

 

As Alec said, the whole process took only a couple of hours and suddenly the place was completely empty. The only people that stayed were Magnus and Alec.

Magnus was sitting at the table that he was supposed to have a meeting with Camille the next day. He was trying to figure out what he should say and how he should say it to make her confess. It could be either extremely hard or extremely easy. She did want to meet with him after all. But even though Magnus might not know her as he used to, he still knew her a bit. And she always had something up her sleeve.

“Are you okay?” Alec asked quietly. The acoustics of the club was amazing so Magnus had no problems with hearing the question. However, he didn’t know how to answer it.

Was he okay? Technically, yes. But in reality? Magnus was freaking out. The success of this operation depended on him. And when Magnus loved having a lot of responsibility, he wasn’t sure he could do this when he started thinking about Camille’s influence on him.

Alec sat down next to him and hugged him. Magnus was still for a minute but then hugged him back. He needed Alec now more than ever.

“No, I’m not,” he finally replied.

Alec put his hand on Magnus’ cheek and just looked at him.

“You can still say no, Magnus. We’ll deal with this somehow.”

Magnus closed his eyes and took a deep breath. “No, I told you. I need to do this. Mostly for the case, obviously. But also for me.”

“What do you mean?”

Magnus never wanted to talk about Camille with anyone, really. But especially Alec. Even when they were only best friends, he could see that somehow it was a very painful subject for Alec. Of course now he knew the reason why it had been painful for him and not hurting Alec was more important than dealing with his own feelings. Even if it wasn’t healthy at all.

He sighed. “I stopped loving Camille a long time ago,” he started, trying to keep an eye contact with his boyfriend. He needed Alec to know that this was the truth and that he meant every word. “But ever since she left me, she was always on my mind. Somewhere, hiding.”

Alec stopped looking at him. He was hurt and Magnus couldn’t breathe because he was the reason for it.

“Please, look at me,” he begged and Alec did but the pain in his eyes was unbearable. “You are my whole world, Alexander,” he said with a small smile. “But I’ve never really dealt with the fact that she left me without saying a single word. One day she was just gone and I’ve been trying to figure this out for all this time. I don’t know-,” the tears were trying to fall down his cheeks and he was trying to fight them off but it wasn’t working.

Alec wiped off a single tear that managed to escape with his thumb. “Magnus, I-“

“It’s okay, Alexander,” he stood up and turned around so he wouldn’t have to face him. He wiped the rest of the tears, hoping his waterproof makeup was still intact. 

Alec stood up as well but kept his distance. Maybe that was for the better because Magnus had no idea if he wanted to be in his arms or maybe run away. He never felt so conflicted in his life and he didn’t know how to react.

“It’s not,” Alec said, now standing a bit closer but there was still some distance between them. “But I can’t say I understand how you feel, even if I really want to. B-but I’m here. I’ll always be here.”

“Please don’t make promises you can’t keep,” Magnus said as he turned around.

He couldn’t deal if his heart was broken again, he couldn’t breathe, he couldn’t live. As soon as he realized this, Magnus lost the ability to breathe. He was gasping for air, his heart was pounding, he felt dizzy. He was shaking. Magnus felt like he could pass out any second and he had no idea how to stop this.

“Hey, Magnus,” Alec was immediately next to him. “You’re having a panic attack.”

He what?! He had never had a panic attack in his life. What did it mean? He couldn’t-

“Breathe with me, Magnus,” Alec said in a calm voice. “In… and out… In… and out.”

Magnus tried to follow the pattern but it was too difficult. It felt like the most difficult thing he ever had to do.

“Let’s count to ten, okay?” Alec said as soon as he realized that Magnus wasn’t getting any better.

“One,” Magnus said in a shaky voice, “two,” he could finally feel the air coming in, “three,” and coming out.

“You’re doing great, Magnus,” Alec tried to smile, probably to make him feel more at ease. 

Slowly it started working and when Magnus’ breathing was back to normal, Alec was close to him. He was touching Magnus' face gently and left a kiss on his forehead. Magnus couldn’t help but melt against his firm body. The only thing that could ground him, make him feel like himself again.

Magnus had no idea how it all happened and he needed to go back home and sleep for a week wrapped in his fluffy blankets, surrounded by way too many pillows.

“I meant what I'd said,” Alec whispered into Magnus’ ear. His arms wrapped around him, holding Magnus in a tight embrace, making sure that he wouldn’t fall. Magnus was grateful. “I’ll always be there.”

Magnus looked at Alec properly, trying to see any uncertainty on his face. Or maybe even a lie written in his eyes? But he didn’t find anything except for love in them.

He buried his face in the crook of Alec’s neck and allowed himself to be held. Nothing more.

“Will you stay with me tonight?” Magnus asked after what seemed to be hours of just standing in the middle of a very empty club.

“Of course. I’ll just need to let Max know that he’ll be home alone.”

 

Magnus didn’t sleep at all that night. Too many things were on his mind. And when meeting with Camille took a lot of his time and he was really worried about it, he spent most of the night thinking about what Alec had said. That he would always be there. That he wouldn’t just leave Magnus. Not without an explanation. Not ever. Because he wanted to be with Magnuns.

Magnus felt like the happiest man on Earth. Again. But he also felt like this had to be a joke because he just didn’t deserve to be loved so deeply.

He was trying to focus on Alec’s slow breathing and his arms around his body. His chest pressed to Magnus’ back. Magnus didn’t want to have another panic attack in the middle of the night. Not when Alec had to get his rest before the operation. The operation that could define his whole career. His and Jace's.

If Camille confessed, Alec and Jace could arrest her. They would probably get a promotion. It was one of the biggest cases in the history of New York. If they solved this… if Magnus helped them solve it, it would be a milestone for them.

But if Magnus fucked this up, who knows what the consequences would be. Maryse would definitely have a lot of fun letting him know how he destroyed Alec’s career.

With that thought he heard Alec’s phone ringing. Magnus pretended to be asleep, he didn’t need Alec to be worried about him.

His boyfriend unwrapped his arms gently like he didn’t want to wake Magnus up. It had to be very early in the morning but Magnus wasn’t sure, he wasn’t exactly looking at the clock when he was losing his mind.

Alec got out of bed and went into the kitchen to answer the phone. Magnus couldn’t hear who he was talking with or what about but it had to be work related.

After couple of minutes Alec was back in Magnus’ bedroom. He went into the bed and started caressing Magnus’ shoulder in an attempt to wake him up so Magnus made sure to make it as believable as possible that he was actually sleeping. He even yawned when he turned around on bed to face Alec.

“Alexander?” he said in a voice that hopefully sounded like a sleepy one.

“I need to go to work, we need to start earlier today so everything goes according to plan. Go back to sleep,” he said and kissed Magnus’ forehead. “You don’t need to be in Pandemonium till 1 pm anyway.”

“Are you sure I shouldn’t join you?”

Magnus knew he wouldn’t sleep anyway so he could at least do something productive. If there was anything that he could help with.

“No, it should look totally natural in case she has people watching the place,” Alec replied. Again he sounded more like a detective instead of his boyfriend in that moment. “We’ll keep our distance so she doesn’t suspect anything but we’ll be ready to walk in as soon as she confesses and it’ll all be over.”

Magnus smiled at him. Just one more day and they would go back to their regular lives. He could do it. He definitely could.

Alec gave him a peck on the lips and then he was gone.

 

Magnus got out of bed and saw Chairman Meow lying on the couch. He wasn’t sleeping anymore either.

Magnus took his cat into his arms and started petting him slowly. Chairman was purring. It was a calming sound, the one that Magnus needed a lot right now. Anything to relax even the tiniest bit.

He fed his cat and spent most of the morning playing with him. He was actually doing a pretty good job at pretending that this was just another ordinary day. That was until he looked at his phone and realized he should prepare for the meeting.

A routine of putting his makeup on was very relaxing even if his hands were shaking a little bit at the beginning. He stylized his hair up, exactly as he liked the most. He chose skinny jeans and a white shirt with a blue pattern on it. He didn’t want to look too casual but wearing very smart clothes for this meeting wouldn't work either. Then he moved on to jewellery. A couple of his favourite rings, a silver bracelet and a necklace that he got from Alec. Because if Alec couldn’t be there with him, he needed a physical reminder of something that would scream Alec. But only to him because he was the only person who knew what that necklace meant to him.

 

Magnus got to Pandemonium ten minutes before 1pm. He took off his coat and sat at the table.

He knew that from this very moment Alec and Jace and probably many other people were listening to everything that was happening. That was both reassuring and terrifying. It meant support was close but also people would judge every single word that would come out of his mouth.

Ragnor and Raphael were in the club as well. They were standing and observing from the staff room where they couldn’t be noticed. They were Magnus’ support as well.

Magnus looked at his phone and as soon as it was exactly one o’clock, Camille walked in.

She looked as amazing as always. Her long brown hair was loose on her shoulders. Her makeup was heavy but it suited her. She chose her favourite red lipstick that was matching her pumps. Even though it was the middle of winter, she still chose high heels. Style was always the most important. And nothing said style more than Jimmy Choo pumps.

“Hello, Camille,” he said and gave a small smile, even if he had to fake it. “So why did you want to meet with me?” he added when she sat down in front of him.

“Straight to business, I see,” a constant smirk never leaving her face. Magnus had to stop himself from rolling his eyes. “Aren’t you going to ask if I want something to drink?”

“I was hoping we could hurry this up, I have other things to do today,” a little bit of nervousness could be heard in his voice but he didn’t know how to get rid of it.

Now that Camille was sitting in front of him, he felt so incredibly small. Like he couldn’t do it and he should just tell her to leave and then apologise to Alec and Jace for ruining their operation.

“Fine, what would you like to drink?”

“Sparkling water would be amazing,” she said and put a hand on Magnus’.

What was happening? Why was her hand on his own? What was Camille’s game? Because there was always something. Some ulterior motive.

Without saying another word Magnus stood up and went to pour sparkling water for her. He didn’t bring anything for himself, though.

“So,” he said as he sat down. “Will I ever hear why you wanted to meet after all these years?”

Camille moved in her seat and now she was right next to him. “Honestly, Magnus. You should just let it go. We had fun. We still could,” she touched his jaw with her long fingernail.

Magnus shuddered. “You really don’t think I deserved any kind of explanation?” he asked.

This wasn’t the plan. He wasn’t supposed to talk about their relationship. Too many people were listening. _Alec_ was listening.

“We were together and then we weren’t. Oh honey,” she smirked again. “You look like you’re still in love. I’m flattered.”

Magnus huffed. “I most certainly am not. Now talk.”

She traced her fingernail against his torso. She probably thought it would look like another attempt at flirting or whatever she was doing but somehow Magnus was sure that she was checking if he was wearing a wire. He needed to thank Alec for not making him wear one.

“I’m running a very... lucrative business. And I would like you to join me,” she said and then went silent.

“Is that all you’re gonna tell me? Because I’ll need the details. If that isn’t obvious.”

They were finally talking about this. It was now or never. She shouldn’t suspect anything. She didn’t find the wire. She will confess and it’ll be over. Soon.

“Details, yes,” she said. And Magnus could’ve sworn that she was getting nervous as well.

She took a deep breath and leaned even closer to him. “Do you remember the last time we visited Los Angeles?”

So this is how she was going to play.

No, Magnus didn’t remember much from their last trip to Los Angeles. It was the first and last time when he did drugs. He regretted it for a long time after it. But Camille somehow had managed to convince him that he should try them. Because people should try anything that life has to offer.

Now Magnus knew that Alec was right. Camille was The Woman. But she played it safe, admitting nothing in the process.

“Vaguely,” Magnus replied.

“Well,” she continued, “we were on the receiving end in LA. And I’m in the business of supplying.”

This wasn’t going as well as Magnus hoped for. He was also sure that Alec and Jace must be going insane with all those answers that had meaning to Magnus but meant nothing in the eyes of law. There was still no proof and they couldn’t come in to arrest her.

“Excuse me?” Magnus said and looked at her, trying to pretend to be shocked.

“Oh please, Magnus. Why would I seek you out? It’s just business. I need a place where my employees can sell my product and you could earn a lot of money. I can give you 5%. It’s a good deal.”

Last trip. Product. This was pointless. Magnus didn’t have a choice and he had to ask. Plain and simple.

“Correct me if I’m wrong but… Are you suggesting that I allow you to sell drugs in my club?”

Camille looked at him. Her brows were furrowed. “You’re really gonna make me spell it out for you, are you? Yes, this is what I’m suggesting.”

And there it was. She confessed.

“Thank you, Camille. Now police will take care of you.”

Camille moved in her seat. She opened her purse, like she was trying to find something.

“You sold me out,” she hissed.

“What did you exp-“ Magnus was saying but stopped when he felt a sharp pain in his abdomen.

He looked down and noticed a small knife when Camille was pulling it out of his body. Magnus put both of his hands in the same place. His white shirt was already stained and the redness was spreading.

He couldn't scream, he was too shocked to do anything. He couldn't focus on anything.

“I had my suspicions about you,” she said slowly, even though her breathing was shallow. “But I guess I thought you wouldn’t betray me like this. If I’m going down, you are gonna pay for this.” And then she started laughing like a maniac.

Magnus fell off the seat to the floor, trying to stop the bleeding but he felt weaker with every second. He could see his blood on the floor. Raphael and Ragnor were running into his direction. Or at least he thought it was them.

He heard a loud noise of heavy boots running into his club. In the last moment he noticed Jace arresting Camille. He felt Alec taking him into his arms and screaming something.

“Stay with me, Magnus.” Alec was looking at him, trying to stop the bleeding because Magnus had no strength left in him.

After that he lost consciousness.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> pls don't kill me


	14. What are you talking about?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hiiiii <3  
> oh wow, it's been a while, hasn't it? the end of march and beginning of april wasn't the best time for me and writing wasn't going very well and i'm really sorry for this. but since then i've been working really hard on this chapter and well... somehow it turned into a monster-chapter. or at least in my standards. i present to you a chapter that reached 16.8k words :D aka like almost the same length as 3 of my regular chapters :P so i hope you will forgive me that you had to wait a bit longer for this
> 
> for obvious reasons it's a very Alec-centric chapter and it basically wraps the whole case part of this fic  
> i hope you will enjoy reading it!
> 
> again, warning for blood in this chapter, there's also more swearing than usually
> 
> you can find me on tumblr [@harryshmjr](http://harryshmjr.tumblr.com)

Alec knew something wrong was about to happen as soon as he heard Camille saying ‘You sould me out.’ He’d never trusted her and this couldn’t mean anything good. She was all out of options, she knew they were about to arrest her. And the way she said those words were ringing inside of Alec’s head.

He took off his headphones and ran out of the van where they were listening to the whole conversation that was happening between Camille and Magnus. He ran as fast as he could, his heart was thumping. He could hear Jace running right behind him but he didn’t turn around to see if he was right, he only trusted his brother to be there.

It didn’t take them long to be in Pandemonium and he stopped as soon as he noticed what had happened.

_Magnus._

He was lying on the floor, holding his side tightly. And then there was Camille, laughing like a maniac. This wasn’t the Camille that Alec had remembered from the time she had been with Magnus. It was like a completely different person.

And then Ragnor and Raphael were running into direction of Magnus.

 _”It’s too late,”_ a little voice inside of his head was screaming at him. _”You should’ve thought about headphones for Ragnor and Raphael as well, you idiot. They didn’t see anything from that backroom. He’s going to die and it’s your fault.”_

He couldn’t move. He couldn't haven stood frozen for more than two seconds but it was enough for Jace to notice his behaviour.

“Alec!” he shouted. “Go help Magnus! I’ll deal with the rest.”

And he was back, taking Magnus into his arms.

“Stay with me, Magnus.”

He was trying to help stop the bleeding but the blood was everywhere and even though he had pressed on the wound, it just wouldn’t stop. His hands were covered in red and he felt like he was about to freak out but he knew he couldn’t, he wouldn’t be any good for Magnus like this. He needed to keep calm, keep breathing.

Magnus lost consciousness.

Raphael and Ragnor were immediately at his side.

“I’ve called 911,” Raphael said. “They’ll be here in 10 minutes.”

Good. That was good. Ten minutes wasn’t a long time. Magnus would be okay. There was no other choice. He couldn’t lose Magnus because of his own stupidity.

Why did he even let this happen? Magnus wasn’t prepared for this, he was nervous, said too many things, Camille lost her cool and this happened. How did she even walk in with a knife in her purse? Every club has metal detectors. They should have known, this shouldn’t have happened-

“Why is he bleeding out so fast?!” he yelled looking at Raphael and Ragnor as if they had every answer in the world. They didn’t. “The wound isn’t that big. Unless-“

Alec looked at the area where Camille stabbed Magnus and he tried to remember everything that he could from his first aid training. It wasn’t much, he knew that. He wasn’t very good at studying anatomy in high school either. But if he could just realise this one thing, maybe it would be enough until the paramedics came.

He took his hands from Magnus for a second and there it was. The wound was in the left upper quadrant of his abdomen. Alec tried to remember models of human body and he just couldn’t figure it out but suddenly he remembered one of his old cases. One of the gang members was stabbed in a similar place and he bled to death and that was the official cause of death. However, the medical examiner confirmed that he was hit in his spleen.

That was the only thing that came to his mind. Camille must’ve hit his spleen and that would explain the massive bleeding. And if Alec didn’t do something right now, Magnus might be gone before even getting to the hospital. Just like that gang member.

“I need something to stop the bleeding,” he said, trying to calm his voice.

Raphael put a first aid kit in front of him and started going through it. Alec was observing him, trying to see the content of it as well. It wasn’t much. It wouldn’t be enough.

 _”Think, Alec. Think.”_ The voice in his head wouldn’t stop screaming at him.

He needed to focus so he closed his eyes for a second and took a deep breath.

“Okay,” he finally said. “Give me those gauze pads,” Alec looked at the ridiculously small amount of the pads and knew that would never be enough. “Bring me some cloths. The more, the better. Preferably new.”

Alec was still pressing on the wound but he could feel his hands go numb. It wasn’t long but he was pressing hard and time seemed to slow down. It felt like it wasn’t moving at all, like the ambulance was still hours away from them.

Alec realized that he started freaking out when he was alone because Raphael and Ragnor ran to look for the things he needed. When they came back, Alec pressed the gauze pads to the wound. They immediately soaked in blood. Then he pressed some cloths and they were soaking up pretty quickly as well.

“I just need something to- Ragnor, give me your scarf,” he commanded and Ragnor gave it to him without a single word.

Alec tied the scarf around Magnus’ limp body and then placed him on his left side so the body’s weight could press on the wound as well. It was all he could do in that moment and now he could only wait. And pray to everyone who was listening not to let Magnus die. Alec was shaking at the thought of that and he knew he had to stop thinking about it. The ambulance would be here any second now.

Alec might’ve helped with the external bleeding out but Magnus must’ve had a massive internal bleeding and there was nothing that Alec was able to do about it.

He wanted to stroke Magnus’ hair but his hands were all covered in blood.

Alec had seen a lot of blood in his life but it was never someone he cared about so deeply. Never someone he loved. And it hadn’t been his fault those previous times. This time it was. Alec knew that he should have never let this happen. This whole thing was on him. And if Magnus died-

“Alec, you’re okay?” Jace was back, Camille must’ve been locked in one of their cars. Alec couldn't think about her right now.

He was only looking at Magnus and checking if he was still breathing. If his heart was still beating.

_Where was that ambulance?_

“Alec,” Jace tried again because he didn’t get any reaction from his brother, not even a single word.

Now that Alec had done everything he could, he couldn’t speak. He was still able to hear people talking around him, Jace trying to reach out to him, Ragnor and Raphael speaking to Magnus like he could hear them. Maybe he could. Maybe it was keeping him alive. How would he know?

He was kneeling right next to Magnus and holding his hand, it was such a small gesture but it was the only thing that was calming him down. He needed to be ready in case something wrong was about to happen.

It had felt like ages since Raphael called for the ambulance. But two paramedics finally walked in with a gurney.

They started working on Magnus, changing his dressings immediately because the ones that Alec applied were completely covered in blood. They put Magnus on the gurney and were almost running in the direction of the ambulance, and in that moment Alec snapped out of his state and ran after them.

“I’m coming with you,” he said.

“Are you his family?” the paramedic in the back asked.

“I’m his boyfriend. And a detective on this case.”

“Get in,” he said quickly and they shut the door behind him.

The ambulance was going fast and Alec knew that, but he still couldn’t shake this feeling that it wasn’t fast enough. That something wrong was about to happen. That Magnus might-

And with that thought he heard a sound of flat line. Magnus’ heart stopped beating.

He kept staring as a paramedic was trying to bring him back to life. And with every ‘clear’ he was losing his hope more and more. But he kept praying because life couldn’t exist without Magnus in it. The world would stop, it would end. Nothing would make sense anymore if Magnus wasn’t right by his side.

“He’s back,” the paramedic said to his partner. “We’re almost there,” he added to Alec as soon as he looked at him.

 

It was a huge hospital. Full of staff trying to help people and full of patients who were trying to get better, some of them were fighting for their lives. Just like Magnus was.

As soon as they got into the hospital, Magnus was taken into the OR and Alec wasn’t allowed to go any further. Two bodyguards had to stop him from barging in.

He was still standing in front of the door and he could feel his hands were sweating. Everything was too bright and he was trying to breathe but it was so difficult. It was like his body was physically fighting him because it needed to be close to Magnus, to make sure that he was okay.

Alec wanted to wake up because if it was just a bad dream, none of this would matter. He’d wake up safely in Magnus’ arms.

But he didn’t wake up, not even when he pinched himself.

“Detective Lightwood?” he heard a voice behind him.

It was a short Chinese woman. She had dark brown eyes and straight black hair that was currently in a ponytail. She was wearing a uniform of a nurse.

Alec only nodded. He couldn’t trust his voice.

“My name is Aline," she said. "Your boyfriend was taken into the OR and he is getting the best possible care. Doctor Aldertree is an amazing surgeon and he will do everything he can to save Magnus’ life. Is there anything I can do for you?”

She put her hand up like she wanted to touch his arm in comfort but decided against it. Alec must’ve looked horrible. He looked down at his hands that were now covered in dark red. The blood had dried off.

Aline must’ve realized what he meant. “Please, follow me.”

“I- I can’t leave,” he whispered.

“The surgery will take hours,” the nurse replied in a calm voice. “Let me help you at least clean up your hands. Okay?”

They went into the actual bathroom, it definitely wasn’t for patients or the people who were visiting them.

Aline gave him a soft smile and turned on the water. “You look pretty shaken up, do you need my help?”

“I’m okay,” he replied. “Thanks.”

She moved back to the door and left him alone. He put some soap onto his hands and he started moving them slowly under the water. He could see the water turning red immediately. It was leaving his hands and connecting with water just to be washed away and to be never seen again.

It was Magnus’ blood, it shouldn’t be on Alec’s hands. It felt so incredibly wrong.

 _”Why would you let this happen? This is all on you,”_ the voice in his head was yelling at him once again.

“I know,” he said under his breath.

“I’m sorry?” Aline asked, she was looking at him and Alec could see her reflection in the mirror.

“Nothing, sorry.”

It didn’t take a long while to get rid of all the blood from his hands. And again, it didn’t feel right. It should have taken hours, days even. It should leave a permanent mark on his skin so Alec could be reminded just how much he had fucked up and that he would never be able to make this right. All he could do was pray that Magnus would survive this and that maybe he wouldn’t hate him just as much as Alec hated himself.

Aline took him to the waiting area and Jace was already there. Raphael and Ragnor were sitting right next to him.

They didn’t say anything when they noticed him.

_"Why would they talk to you? You almost killed their best friend."_

He sat down and hid his face in his hands.

“You’re okay, buddy?” Jace stood up and sat next to him, he put a hand on his shoulder.

Alec wanted to shake it off, he didn’t deserve this. He didn’t deserve any kind of support for what he had done.

“Izzy and Lydia are on their way. They're gonna bring Max with them. Simon is coming too. I wasn’t sure if you wanted all those people to be here but-“

“They deserve to be here. I don’t,” Alec replied. His voice was muffled because he didn’t take the hands away from his face. He couldn’t face Jace.

“What are you talking about? You probably saved his life, Alec.”

Alec finally looked at his brother. His genuine face wasn’t making it any easier. Jace had always too much trust in him and Alec was never worthy of that. Especially not today.

“I’m the reason he’s in here. This is all my fault. If anything happens to him-“ He wasn’t able to finish the sentence.

“He’s going to be okay and you will have your happily ever after,” Jace replied with all the confidence he could gather, and tried to smile but it didn’t really work.

Alec heard a cough and looked straight, the noise was coming from Raphael.

“Just as much as I hate to agree with Blondie, he’s right. You saved his life, it’s Camille’s fault. And Magnus is a stubborn son of a bitch.”

“He has a reason to fight,” Ragnor added. “And it’s you.”

Alec really wanted to respond that if he was the reason, then they were all doomed. Magnus would definitely hate him after this whole fiasco.

Alec wasn’t worthy of him.

 

He wasn’t paying attention to anything that anyone was trying to say. He didn’t want to drink anything that Jace was offering to him. When Izzy, Lydia, Max and Simon ran into the waiting area, he barely registered that fact. Izzy was hugging him and trying to ask him questions but Alec didn’t hear them. He could see her mouth moving and her eyes staring right back at him but he couldn’t understand anything.

Alec was only sitting there, blinking from time to time. He felt like a robot, he felt so out of place. Like he didn’t belong there and he probably didn’t. All he could think about were those moments when he ran into Pandemonium and saw Magnus on the floor, his white shirt wasn’t white anymore and soon Magnus closed his eyes and Alec couldn’t get through to him anymore. What if Magnus didn’t wake up? What if the last thing they had done together was Alec sending him to his death? 

“Alec, look at me,” Izzy’s voice finally reached him.

Her hands were on his shoulders but before that he hadn’t even felt them. Or maybe she just put them there? Alec wasn't sure.

“He’s going to be okay,” she said when Alec focused on her face.

“You don’t know that,” he whispered and blinked again.

His mind felt blank right now. Was he supposed to cry? People cried when they were worried, right? Why wouldn’t he cry?

“Yes, I do. Magnus is the strongest of us all. He will fight this and he will be back. Alec, please,” she almost begged when he started staring at something behind her.

He didn’t know why it was happening. He had never been in a similar situation. He never had to sit in a waiting area for hours to hear any kind of news about someone he cared about so much. 

Alec worked on many cases where victims were still alive and brought to the hospital. He could observe family members being in the same situation like he was right now. And back then he thought he had understood what they must’ve felt. However now he realized he hadn’t understood anything at all. Nobody could truly understand this until they had to face the situation themselves.

Some of them were crying, others were pacing around, some were trying to make others laugh, some were sitting silent but you could see they kept thinking about their close ones. But they all had some sort of reaction. And after the shock was gone, Alec’s mind was empty. From time to time he heard this accusing voice again, telling him how much he had fucked up and that this was his fault. But this wasn’t anything new and Alec already felt like the worst human in the whole history of all people.

He had sent his boyfriend to be stabbed. Alec should have never agreed to this. He probably should have never told Magnus about his feelings. Magnus would be much happier without him. And if he had kept his mouth shut, maybe Magnus wouldn’t have gone with this plan. Alec wouldn’t have even suggested it.

But yet again he tried to please his mother. He wanted to finish this fucking case, he wanted to save people. And yet again he failed. He was horrible at his job and even worse at being a boyfriend.

“Alec, you’re here?” Izzy was still standing in front of him.

Was she there the whole time when Alec was yelling at himself in his head?

“You keep zoning out,” she added when he didn’t say anything. “Please say something.”

Alec cleared his throat. “There is nothing to talk about.”

He shrugged his shoulders and stepped away. He noticed Izzy sharing a worried look with Lydia but he really couldn’t care less at this point.

Now that he came back to the reality, he looked around.

Izzy sat down next to Lydia, they were holding hands. Simon was sitting next to Raphael, they weren’t exactly touching but they were close enough that you could see that this was their way of being there for each other when they were in a difficult situation in public.

Ragnor was sitting on the other side of Raphael. He was playing with the hem of his shirt, his eyes were teary, however he wasn’t crying. 

Max was pacing around, the kid just wouldn't stop. He was almost like a blurry image in Alec's mind.

None of them were talking except for few words here and there.

Alec sat down, further away from them. He didn’t feel like he belonged to this group. They were all there because they were Magnus’ friends. They were here to support him and they all deserved to be here.

However, before Alec had another chance to tell himself how much he hated himself, the door opened and a doctor in scrubs went through it. Alec must’ve lost so much time. Where did it go? The surgery was supposed to take hours. Yet the doctor was here to give them the news. The news if Magnus had survived.

They all stood up at the same time, looking at him expectantly. Alec stood up as well but he stayed a little behind them. However, Izzy wouldn’t have any of this. She took his arm and brought him to the front so he could face the doctor.

The doctor was clearly exhausted after a long surgery but Alec couldn’t read his face. Was he bringing the good news or the bad ones?

“My name is Victor Aldertree," the doctor introduced himself. "Are you the family of Mr. Bane?” he asked matter-of-factly.

They all nodded. The guy clearly wasn’t convinced, after all none of them was Asian like Magnus but even if he had his doubts, he hadn’t said a word about this.

“The surgery went well,” he finally said.

The whole group sighed with a relief. 

Magnus was alive. _Magnus was alive._

Something in Alec broke, the tears finally appeared and he couldn’t stop.

“Thank you so much, doctor,” Ragnor said.

“I have to tell you, though,” the doctor added, “we did save him but there were some complications.”

_What?!_

“What do you mean?” this time it was Raphael who spoke.

“Mr. Bane’s heart stopped again during the surgery but we managed to bring him back to life very quickly. He had lost a lot of blood since the knife hit his spleen. And we couldn’t save it. We had to remove it.”

“You removed his spleen?” Alec finally found his voice.

Of course he was happy too fast. Even if Magnus survived, he had lost one of his fucking organs.

“We didn’t have a choice. It is absolutely possible to live without it. The liver takes over all the functions. Mr. Bane will have to change his diet and obviously give up on the alcohol but other than that, he shouldn’t face any problems because of it.”

“Well, Magnus isn’t going to like the part about alcohol,” Izzy laughed slightly and others joined her.

“He was very lucky. If it hadn’t been for your quick reaction,” he looked at Alec while saying this, “he probably would have died. You saved his life.”

 _”No, he almost lost his life because of me.”_ Alec wanted to say this out loud but this wasn’t about him. Right now he should be happy that Magnus was going to be okay.

“Thank you, doctor. Thank you so much,” Izzy said.

“We will keep him under for couple of days so he can heal more easily. You can see him now, just not all of you at the same time. The nurse will take you to him.”

And with that he was gone. Aline showed up couple of minutes later and smiled at Alec. He wasn’t sure if he smiled back, he wasn’t exactly controlling his emotions at the moment. But he tried. She had been very nice to him and tried to help him and Alec was very grateful.

They were walking through different corridors. The walls had different colours but everything else looked almost the same. Or at least it did to Alec. There were rooms filled with patients, he could hear the sounds coming out of different machines that were helping them to get better, maybe even keeping them alive.

Finally they reached the room where Magnus was supposed to be staying in. Aline put her hand on the handle and looked at the group.

“Who’s going in first?” she asked.

They all looked at Alec. Like he should be the one and he wanted to tell them just how much he shouldn’t even have a chance to go there at all.

“You go in first,” he looked at Ragnor and Raphael. Simon was standing right next to Raphael, their hands were touching just slightly.

“Are you sure?” Ragnor asked, looking between him and Raphael.

“Yes, go ahead. He would love to see you first.”

Alec couldn't tell how long they stayed in Magnus’ room. He kept losing time, he kept zoning out and even Izzy wasn’t trying to reach out to him anymore. It was probably pointless at this time.

When Ragnor, Raphael and Simon went out of Magnus' room, they looked pale but they also had little smiles on their faces. They didn’t say anything, though.

After that, Izzy, Lydia, Jace and Max went into the room. Izzy was ready to argue with Alec that he should be the one to finally go in but Lydia stopped her. She put a hand on her shoulder and shook her head.

He and Lydia might not have known each other very well but she clearly must’ve understood how he felt. Alec needed a bit more time, he needed his time alone with Magnus. He wasn’t sure what would happen or what he was supposed to do or say when he would finally see Magnus, but he knew that he had to be alone for this.

“It’s late, maybe you should go home and get some rest. Come back tomorrow if you want to,” Aline said looking at Ragnor, Raphael and Simon.

They all looked at each other as if they were silently making their decision.

“You don’t need to stay the night, he’s not going to wake up anyway.”

Finally they nodded and said their goodbyes, promising to be back tomorrow. They would all come back separately since they couldn’t just abandon their jobs. Now Pandemonium needed Ragnor and Raphael more than ever. Simon couldn’t miss another day at work either.

Same happened with Izzy and Lydia.

“Big brother, are you sure you don’t want me to stay?”

“It’s okay, Izzy. Go,” he forced a smile.

Jace took Max and promised to take care of him.

When he was left only with Aline, he sighed loudly. He leaned against the wall and hid his face in his hands.

There was only one wall between him and Magnus, and there was nothing else in the whole world that he needed to do more than to see his boyfriend. To hold his hand and say just how much he was sorry. Even if Magnus couldn’t hear him. However, Alec wasn’t sure if he had the right to say he was sorry. Maybe he was supposed to wait till Magnus was awake so he could say exactly what he thought about him and about how Alec had risked his life.

“Mr. Lightwood? Are you okay?” Aline asked him when he didn’t move at all for some time.

“It’s Alec,” he said instead.

She gave him a reassuring smile. “Alec, are you okay?”

He wasn’t. But he didn’t know what was happening to him. “I’m not sure he would want me to go in,” Alec finally replied.

He didn’t know Aline at all, he barely exchanged a few words with her but somehow he felt like she wouldn’t judge him or try to convince him that he was wrong. Because that was something that Izzy would do for sure. He loved his sister with his whole heart but she always wanted to make him feel good about himself. This time he shouldn’t feel good.

“Why do you think so?” she asked.

It was a simple question. Aline’s voice was calming his nerves and he could feel like breathing again, just a little bit. He wasn’t sure how to explain this.

“Do you know how he- how this happened?”

“Yes, I’ve heard. Nurses talk,” she said and smiled again.

“Well, this is my fault.”

Aline tilted her head and looked at him, like she was studying him.

“Hm, that’s not what I’ve heard. I’ve heard your quick thinking saved his life.”

Why were people mentioning this over and over again? It wasn’t true. And even if it was, Magnus would have never been in this situation if Alec hadn’t asked. Magnus would’ve been happy, playing with Chairman Meow or making plans for another party in Pandemonium.

“Listen, you couldn’t have stopped it. As far as I’ve heard, it happened so fast nobody could have stopped it.”

“He shouldn’t have been there in the first place, I convinced him,” Alec lowered his head, he was fighting the tears from coming out.

Aline was silent for a minute. It was like she was thinking about what she was supposed to say in this situation. Alec probably shouldn’t have brought this onto her, she was here just to do her job, not to hear about his horrible decisions, both professional and private.

“I don’t know either of you. But you don’t look like someone who would risk anyone’s life on purpose or even accidentally. And Magnus is an adult so I’m sure he’s capable of making his own decisions. You need to give him some credit.”

Alec looked at her properly. Everything she said made perfect sense, of course. But Alec’s brain was doing its own thing at the moment. He wasn’t thinking clearly and nothing could make him feel any less guilty.

The voice in his head wouldn’t stop. _”This is all your fault, Magnus is going to hate you.”_

Alec shook his head a little bit and rubbed his neck to make the voice go away, even for a second.

“Are you ready to go in now?” Aline asked and Alec nodded.

She opened the door and walked in, Alec followed after her.

The first thing he heard was a machine that was indicating the rhythm of Magnus’ heart. It was going steady and it was a constant reminder that Magnus was definitely okay, that he survived and that he was alive.

Aline moved a little bit and Alec was faced with the view of Magnus lying in his bed. His eyes were closed. There were so many tubes coming out of his body. And he looked so pale. There was a one huge tube connected to a machine that was breathing for Magnus and this only proved just how serious the situation was.

Alec had to hold onto the wall because he felt like he was about to lose his balance. Aline was right next to him but she didn’t touch him, she was only checking if he was going to be okay.

“I’m going to leave you now. If you need anything, I will be at the nurses’ station.”

“Thank you,” Alec responded, not really looking at her. He couldn’t take his eyes away from Magnus.

There was a single chair next to the bed and he sat down. Everything felt like in slow motion. Magnus’ chest was moving up and down in a regular rhythm, reminding Alec that doctor Aldertree was right and Magnus was okay and that in couple of days he would open his beautiful, brown eyes.

He took Magnus’ hand into both of his. He had to be careful because there was an IV in it and he didn’t want to hurt him more than he already had.

Now that Alec was alone, he wasn’t controlling his tears anymore. He probably looked like a mess but nobody was there, except for Magnus who was unconscious. Alec didn’t care how he looked. He didn't care about many things during those last couple of hours.

“I’m so sorry, Magnus,” he said quietly.

 _”You can speak in a normal voice, you idiot. It’s not like he’s going to wake up,”_ the voice in his head was loud and clear again.

Alec was so exhausted. He wanted the voice to leave him alone, but it was a constant reminder that no matter what anyone else had told him, Alec would always feel this way. He could only hope that when Magnus woke up, he would try to do anything to somehow make it better.

Unless Magnus didn’t want this, then he would respect his wishes and leave him alone. Alec would be lucky if Magnus even looked at him after all of this.

 

Alec was sitting in silence, just holding Magnus’ hand. He wouldn’t dare to move. Before he noticed, he had fallen asleep in the chair, right next to Magnus.

When he woke up, he wasn’t sure what time it was but it was already bright outside. He put down Magnus’ hand carefully and took out his phone. It was 7am. Soon the nurses would probably be here to take care of Magnus, and Alec should go. But he couldn’t bring himself to actually leave his boyfriend’s side.

Alec could hear some people talking behind the closed door and then it opened, but it wasn’t a nurse. It was Jace.

“I’m really sorry for this, Alec,” was the first thing his brother said to him.

As soon as he stepped in, Maryse walked right behind him. Alec had no idea what she was doing there, she definitely didn’t give a single fuck about Magnus.

“How is he?” she asked like she didn’t even want to know the answer.

“Why are you here?” Alec stood up, his posture was already tense, and sleeping on a chair definitely didn’t help.

Maryse was as serious as always. Alec couldn’t remember the last time she looked like his mother instead of this very important detective and later his boss.

“The case isn’t closed yet, you are supposed to go back to work and finish it,” she replied. Her head was raised high but she kept an eye contact with Alec.

He couldn’t believe she actually said that.

“Are you fucking kidding me?” he asked bluntly.

“Excuse me? Watch your language. You spent here the whole night, and this case can’t wait any longer.”

Alec was done. He never thought he and his mother would be okay but he hadn’t expected that she would dare to ask him to go back to work when his boyfriend almost lost his life, and was now lying in this very room, unconscious.

“Get out,” he only said.

“I am still your boss and you have to-“

“I fucking quit. Now get out.”

Alec was breathing hard, he didn’t want to shout when he was still in Magnus’ room, he didn’t want to disturb him. But now this was happening and he had a really hard time trying to keep his emotions in check.

His mother, however, didn’t look bothered at all. Her head was still high up and she looked completely emotionless.

“I regret to inform you that you cannot quit in the middle of an investigation, it’s in your contract. Not to mention that you swore to protect people of New York City. Now, you will do as I asked and you will finish this. After that, your resignation is accepted.”

Nobody said anything after that for a while. The only sounds in the room were coming from machines that were monitoring Magnus, and from Alec because he was boiling inside. His fists were clenched and he tried not to look at his mother because he knew as soon as he looked at her, that would be it.

However, he couldn’t just leave it at that. She would force him to come anyway.

Alec took a deep breath.

And another.

“You are so full of hate,” he said silently, still not looking at her.

Jace put his hand on Alec’s shoulder and this small gesture was grounding him, it allowed him to put his thoughts in order because he needed to say everything to Maryse. It was now or never.

“Ever since I was a little kid, I was never enough for you, was I? None of us were. But I hoped you would love at least one of us. Max. But no, you kicked him out of the house, even though he isn’t 18 yet-“

“He is-“

“I haven’t finished,” Alec finally looked at her.

His mother stood in the same place, her arms were crossed. As if she was trying to cut herself off from her children. She didn’t seem that bothered about Alec interrupting her, though. Even if she was, she would never really show it.

“The only reason you hate your children is because none of us are straight, isn’t it? Because I can’t come up with any other reason why you would treat your own children like this. We’ve always tried to please you and be on our best behaviour but enough is enough. My _boyfriend_ almost lost his life because you cared more about this stupid case, rather than making sure he was safe. And yes, this is my fault too and I will never forget about this. I’m done with you,” Alec said in the most calm voice that he could manage in this moment.

“Alec, I-“ Maryse tried to say something but he had no time for anything coming out of her mouth.

“I will finish this case for you, you will have your win. But after that, you don’t exist to me,” he finished and turned around to face his brother.

They both shared a look and Alec realized what Jace wanted to do. Before he had a chance to stop him, Jace was already ready to speak.

“I quit too.”

“You cannot quit, Jace. You are my best det-“

“Did I stutter?” he asked. “Alec, Izzy and Max are my whole world, they are my real family. And for the longest time I tried to make things right between all of you but what you’ve just done… I don’t have any more excuses for you. I will always choose them. I don’t care about this job if Alec isn’t right by my side.”

Maryse only huffed. “You are expected to interview Camille Belcourt right now.”

Then she turned around and slammed the door on her way out making Alec cringe because he really needed Magnus to have peace and quiet, and not to be constantly affected by his nightmare of a mother. She caused enough of pain.

Alec sat down on the chair next to Magnus’ bed and looked at him. Magnus was lying still like nothing happened, like he was deep in sleep and not even Maryse acting like… well, Maryse, could change that.

But it wasn’t the truth. Magnus couldn’t wake up. Not yet anyway.

“Are you okay with questioning Camille?” Jace asked carefully.

“Honestly? I have no idea what’s gonna happen when I see her. She tried to kill him,” Alec looked at his brother, and he was sure he could see how much he was in pain.

Alec didn’t have time or strength to come up with lies that everything would be great when he knew it was very unlikely. He didn’t want to do this, and he didn’t want to leave Magnus even for a second. 

“I know, Alec,” Jace came up to him. “But she will rot in jail and Magnus will be okay.”

And yet again, Alec knew that. But he still couldn’t believe it because it was just too simple. And he didn’t deserve simple.

He was brought back to reality when he heard another knock on the door. Before he looked in that direction, he eliminated all possible people. Because nobody from his family would bother to knock. They were all welcome here. Alec only looked up when he heard a quiet gasp from Jace.

At first Alec noticed the red hair. And then it struck him. Clary was here. She must’ve come back from Paris. It was probably Izzy who had called her. After all, Clary was Magnus’ friend as well. Even if she didn’t even say goodbye properly to him before leaving. Alec wasn’t about to mention it now, he knew this wasn’t something that Magnus would’ve wanted. And who was he to even judge people that surrounded Magnus after what he'd done.

“What are you doing here?” it was Jace who spoke first.

Clary had tears in her eyes and she was looking mostly at Magnus, but she didn’t go in any further.

“I- I didn’t know if anyone would be here. I’ve just landed,” she replied and finally looked at both of them.

“Magnus would be happy to see you,” Alec forced a smile on his face.

He wasn’t sure how he was supposed to behave. She was Jace’s ex-girlfriend and she broke his heart into a million pieces. But she was also a part of Magnus’ crazy family, and Magnus was the kindest soul who always thought first about people he cared about, rather than about himself. He always wanted to be surrounded with as many people as possible, probably because of his childhood when his step father wouldn’t care about him at all or would just beat him up.

Jace walked back until he couldn’t go any further since he reached the wall. He was staring at Clary, and he was opening his mouth like he wanted to say something more, but nothing would come out. He didn’t behave like Jace that Alec knew his whole life, he was like a completely different person, and Alec felt like he was a third wheel in this situation.

“I’ll come back later,” she said when she noticed how Jace was behaving.

“No, stay. We were about to leave anyway,” his brother replied and walked out without another glance at her.

Clary raised her hand as if she was trying to stop him but she lowered it quickly, not saying anything else to Jace.

Alec stood up and meant to follow Jace. As soon as they finished this interview with Camille, he could go back to the hospital, and sit right next to Magnus, and wait for him to wake up. Technically it would still be days, but even though Alec’s brain was always acting rationally, it wasn’t the case this time, and he knew that.

“I’m sorry,” she said.

Alec stopped right in front of her. “Why are you apologizing to me?”

He didn’t need any apologies from Clary, she hadn’t done anything wrong to him. Yes, he would always be on his brother’s side but after all this time and everything that happened to Magnus, he understood her decision. It couldn’t have been easy, and Alec realized that Clary must have felt horrible about this.

“Everything? You- you don’t hate me?” she asked quietly.

Alec never knew how to act in such situations, and especially now when he wasn’t feeling like himself, his mind always replaying the events from Pandemonium. 

He put his hands on her small shoulders and looked her straight into the eyes.

“I get it, okay? Living with us never ends well,” he looked quickly at Magnus.

“No, that’s not what I-“

“Stay with him as long as you need,” Alec finished and then left the hospital.

 

Jace was waiting in the car, and he didn’t say anything when Alec sat down right next to him. They drove in silence the whole time, leaving enough of time for Alec to feel even more guilty about not being in the hospital. His brain was also reliving everything that happened once more, and at this point Alec wasn’t sure what was true and what his brain provided him with. 

Alec didn’t feel like he would do a good job interviewing Camille, he wanted to destroy her for everything that she had done. He never liked her, he hated her even more for breaking Magnus’ heart back then because she never deserved him.

Obviously Alec didn’t deserve him either but it was another matter.

But how would he behave this time? So far she had just been a shitty girlfriend, nothing out of the ordinary. Many people have horrible exes. But this time she almost killed the most important person in Alec’s life.

“Are you okay?” Jace snapped him out of his thoughts.

“Me? Are _you_ okay?” Alec looked at him seriously.

Jace didn’t reply but he shook his head.

“Izzy must’ve called her,” Alec added.

“I mean- she has a right to be there. I just- I wasn’t expecting her. But I missed her,” Jace wasn’t looking at Alec when he confessed it. His hands were tight on the steering wheel, and he was looking at people walking in and out of the police station.

“Are you going to talk to her?”

“Honestly?” Jace looked at him, “I have no idea.”

 

They went into the police station, saying hi to Dot who was at the front desk, like most of the time. They walked right into the first corridor where most of interrogation rooms were located. Alec stopped right in front of the door. There was a small window and he could see Camille already sitting at the table. Her hands weren’t cuffed anymore and a police officer was standing right next to the door, watching her.

She had no right to sit like this when Magnus was in the hospital. She had to be put in prison for everything she had done. She would answer not only for stabbing Magnus, but also for every single person that she had hurt while being a drug lord. Too many people suffered because of her.

Alec opened the door and sat in front of Camille, Jace followed him and sat next to him.

Camille looked completely different than from what he had remembered her. She didn’t have her confident smile on her face, her hair was mostly a mess and that wasn’t something that Camille would usually allow. She was also wearing an orange jumpsuit which looked ridiculous on her as she always paid a lot of attention to her outfits. Her lawyer was sitting right next to her, and Alec could see that Jace was as surprised as he was since it wasn’t the same guy that was always defending all of her drug dealers. It was one of the public defenders that both Alec and Jace were familiar with.

Something was wrong. Why would Camille choose a public defender who would probably just screw her over? She had money. If she could afford that fancy lawyer to come to every thug that she probably called her employees, she could definitely afford him to come to defend her. After all, those dealers were only facing drug charges. Her situation was much, much worse. Not only was she accused of being the boss of the whole organization, she would also be charged with attempted murder.

“You have been read your rights while getting arrested. This conversation is being recorded and everything you say may be used in the court of law,” Jace said in a calm voice.

Alec was very grateful, he still wasn’t sure if he could trust himself. Before that, he was ready to storm into this interrogation room and at least yell at her, tell her what he thought of her, blame her for the evil she had caused. But now that he saw her in this weird state, Alec didn’t know what to think.

“Is Magnus okay?” she asked so quietly that Alec wasn’t sure she definitely asked the question.

“You have no right to ask this,” he replied.

Camille turned to her left and was facing the wall. It looked like she was staring at something, but there was nothing there, just an ordinary wall of an interrogation room.

“Shut up, I need to know,” she hissed.

Alec was confused. More than confused.

“Who are you talking to?” he moved uncomfortably in his chair.

The lawyer opened his briefcase and took out some papers. He put them in front of Alec and Jace, however Alec wasn’t paying attention. He was still observing Camille who kept talking and whispering something.

“I would like to present you these documents which prove that my client wasn’t mentally stable while she committed all crimes that she is charged with.”

Alec finally stopped looking at Camille and turned his attention to the lawyer. “Excuse me?”

“Miss Belcourt is suffering from schizophrenia. I’ve just got the case files, and I haven’t had the time to read them properly, I apologise for this. But as you can see, she believes she hears some sort of voice. I think she hasn’t taken her medication in quite a long time,” the lawyer turned a bit to point at her, as if he thought that would somehow make his words even more true.

“They make me feel numb,” Camille spoke and finally looked at Alec. “Is Magnus okay?”

Alec opened his mouth, he wanted to tell her again how she didn’t have any right to this kind of information. Because she didn’t. If she had taken her medication, maybe this could have been avoided. Maybe Magnus would have been okay. Instead she decided to attack him. She must’ve known her state was getting worse with every day, she should have gone to the doctor, and not make appointments with possible new partners in her sick business.

“I will tell you everything, just please tell me he’s okay,” she almost begged.

Camille wasn’t a type of person who begged. Ever. She was taking what she wanted because she believed she owned the world.

“He’ll be okay, he’s in a coma right now and should be awake in couple of days,” Alec said after a minute of complete silence.

Jace and Alec didn’t talk about this but they didn’t need to, Alec knew that Jace gave him a lead in this interrogation because it was too close to Alec, but Jace would be there for him if Alec needed anything, if it got too much. Just like it was during the first minutes of being in that room.

Camille sighed loudly, like something heavy was lifted of her chest. She turned left for a second, but then look straight again. She took a large gulp of water that was in front of her.

“My client decided to make a full confession,” the lawyer added before Camille could start her story.

That would explain why she decided on a public defender. If she wanted to confess, she didn’t need a fancy lawyer who would definitely advise her against doing that. You could say many things about Camille, but she was always incredibly smart.

“I got diagnosed three years ago,” she started her story. “At first I didn’t exactly pay much attention to this, I’ve never been someone who cared about mental health. I tried to ignore this, I left the country and I was having the time of my life. My symptoms weren’t very problematic at the time,” she stopped to take another gulp of water. “Two years ago I was in Mexico. I was mostly just partying, different crew every day. I was approached by a guy named Anson Pangborn.”

This name sounded awfully familiar to Alec, but he couldn’t pinpoint where and when he heard it before. But his gut told him that this name was very important, he just needed to figure out why it was so important.

“And what did he want from you?” he asked instead.

“He said I look like someone his boss could use. No, not like this,” she added when both Alec and Jace moved in their chairs. “They needed a pretty girl to sell their product. I didn’t really care.”

Camille was telling this story as if she wasn’t a person who took part in all of those events. Like she learnt a story somewhere and now she was repeating it but without any emotion. Not a bad one or excited one… Nothing.

“Turned out, I was great at my job and soon enough I got promoted, and then I came back to the States. My product, or rather my real boss’ product, was selling great. But I’ve never met this _real_ boss so I felt like it was all mine. My illness was progressing and I started hearing this voice,” she turned left for a second but then came back to her story, “and at first I could ignore it but then,” she turned left again and was staring at the wall again. “I am going to say everything, stop screaming, mother!”

So Camille heard her mother’s voice. Alec had never heard anything about Camille’s parents from Magnus, they weren’t exactly talking much about her in general when they were still in a relationship. Alec wasn’t asking and Magnus wasn’t willing to talk much about her either. When they were spending time together, it was their time.

Camille looked almost sheepish. She tried to fix her hair but nothing really changed in her look. Or at least Alec couldn't see any difference from her previous state.

“As you can tell, the voice is my mother. And most of the time I can tell that it's not real but... And if you think I’m a bitch, you should’ve met her. She was ruthless, and I always had to do exactly what she said or there would be consequences.”

Camille kept pausing during her confession, and now she was visibly struggling with not looking to her left. Sometimes she would cringe like someone was actually standing right next to her and screaming right into her ear. But she didn’t stop.

“I tried taking those drugs but I wasn’t myself, I didn’t feel anything. I wanted my life back. So I would take them only when it was really bad. Then I’ve met my real boss’ son. That little prick actually thought he could outrank me,” she burst out laughing.

It wasn’t a regular laugh, it was an empty laughter. Definitely too loud, and Alec could feel a shiver going through his body.

“Long story short, he became one of my drug dealers, and I believe he’s still in jail because you caught him,” she finished.

_What? _They caught the real boss’ son? Who could that- _Oh.___

__Alec was facing Jace now and could see in his eyes that his brother must have come to the same conclusion. They always shared this connection, almost as if they could read each other's thoughts. It was never an exact science but they could usually tell what the other one was thinking._ _

__“Are you talking about Sebastian Verlac?” Jace was the one who asked the question._ _

__“Yes, that’s the one,” Camille replied easily. She was now admiring her nails._ _

__“So your real boss… is Valentine Morgenstern?” Alec couldn’t believe this._ _

__How was it possible for Valentine to run such a huge operation when he was locked in a maximum security prison? So many people died, so many people got hurt because he wasn’t watched over properly. Alec could feel his blood boiling inside of him._ _

__“Also correct. Recently I’ve been getting more specific instructions from Pangborn, he said they came directly from the boss. I was supposed to start meeting with club owners because lately we’ve been losing too many dealers. That’s why I arranged a meeting with Magnus,” again her confident self was lost. “When he said that police was listening, I felt so utterly betrayed. And I haven’t taken my meds in some time, and my mother started screaming, and I felt so overwhelmed, and it just happened. I didn’t mean to- I might be a bitch but that’s it.”_ _

__Alec couldn’t believe this, it was definitely too much. He stood up and went out of the interrogation room. He leaned against the wall and was trying to catch a breath, but he felt like he was under water, and everything was starting to look blurry._ _

__He had learnt so much about everything and suddenly it all made sense. He should’ve known it was much bigger than just Camille. It was a huge operation, and Camille would never be able to pull this off by herself. She was still too new to the drug world. But someone like Valentine could definitely be responsible for this. Even when he was locked up in maximum security prison, he still managed to rule his empire._ _

__There was just one thing that Alec didn’t understand at all._ _

___Why?_ _ _

__Valentine was never meant to leave that prison, he was supposed to spend the rest of his sad life in there. So he didn’t need money to make a fortune for the future, and he certainly didn’t care about his son enough to make this for him._ _

__So why would he create this whole thing where so many people were dying and it didn’t give him anything?_ _

__Trying to figure this whole thing out at least allowed him to calm his breathing just a little bit, but it couldn’t be longer than two or three minutes because before he even realized, Jace was right next to him._ _

__“You’re okay?” Jace asked because Alec was still leaning against the wall, not fully trusting his legs._ _

__Alec only nodded._ _

__“So what do you think? You believe her?”_ _

__“I don’t see why she would lie about being sick,” Alec replied matter-of-factly. “It would explain a lot. I know Camille and her doing- _this_ , it just didn’t make sense.”_ _

__“So what now?”_ _

__“We should probably pay Valentine a visit,” Alec sighed. “And we should probably call Luke. He’s not working for the police anymore but this was his big case.”_ _

__Jace agreed with Alec and walked into another room to make the call. It didn’t last longer than couple of minutes._ _

__His brother walked slowly out of the room, his phone still in his hand._ _

__Luke was currently in Mexico as he was having short holidays with Jocelyn there. They were already trying to book a plane to New York as soon as they heard what happened to Magnus but they wouldn’t be able to come till the next day._ _

__They didn’t need to deal with it just yet when it was still so fresh._ _

__Alec didn’t come back to the interrogation room where they questioned Camille. Jace told him he didn’t need to anyway._ _

__Camille was about to list all the names and addresses where they stashed the drugs and where they were being made._ _

__Alec knew she was mostly doing this to make her sentence lighter, even though she was in deep shit. She would probably spend a long time in a psychiatric hospital first. She needed specialists to take care of her, to stabilize her with drugs. She probably needed therapy, Alec didn’t know much about her illness, but he could still tell she needed help. He really didn’t want to feel bad for her, not after everything she had done. But if she had someone by her side, maybe none of this would have happened. Clearly Valentine or his employees weren’t interested in her mental state. As long she was making profit, and she had always been great at this, nothing else mattered._ _

__“Did you eat anything today?” Jace asked before going back to the interrogation room._ _

__“I didn’t have time.”_ _

__“Promise me you’ll eat something before you go back to the hospital.”_ _

__“How did you-“_ _

__Jace gave him a smile. “I’m your brother, I know you better than you know yourself.”_ _

__Alec huffed. That definitely wasn’t the truth._ _

__“And please take a shower,” Jace added and then he was gone._ _

__Alec smelt himself and it wasn’t a good smell. There was nothing else that he would rather do than come back to the hospital and stay at Magnus’ bed. He needed to be there. But there were always nurses and doctors walking in and out of the room, and he couldn’t be like this._ _

__Magnus was the most important and not being by his side felt like even bigger betrayal on his part._ _

__Now that he was alone and on his way to his apartment, he started thinking about this whole situation again. Magnus would probably say that it was never good when he was overthinking things but how could he not? He had fucked up so badly. Magnus would probably break up with him after waking up because who would want to be with someone like Alec? Someone who allowed his own boyfriend to almost die._ _

__Alec was always the responsible one but when it was the most crucial, he stopped listening to his gut. Yet again, he allowed his mother to get into his head, and he agreed to anything she wanted. Would he ever learn?_ _

__And now he quit his job, and this was the only thing Alec knew how to do. How to help people. But he couldn’t work as a detective anymore. Not with his mother and not anywhere else._ _

__It was already early evening when he got home. He took a quick shower and changed his clothes. He opened the fridge because he really wanted to fulfill the promise he had made to Jace but he couldn’t. His stomach refused to accept any kind of food._ _

__Instead, Alec drank a cup of strong black coffee and went back to the hospital._ _

__He said hello to Aline that was working the shift or maybe her previous one didn't finish yet. She gave him a warm smile and said he could stay with Magnus the whole night if he wanted to. And that was exactly what Alec did._ _

__He told Magnus about Camille and why she did this to him. He apologized probably like a thousand times, even though he felt like he still didn’t have a right to do it. He had to fight his tears more than once when he was holding Magnus’ hand and there was still no response._ _

__Alec kept repeating in his head how it would be over in just a few days, and then Magnus could recover in his apartment, and how Alec would try to help him in any possible way. If only Magnus would still want him._ _

___”Why would he want you?”_ the voice was still very loud and clear in his head, and he couldn’t stop thinking about it._ _

__He was alone, and the hospital was so quiet, and there was nothing that could stop his mind from going to very dark places._ _

__“Oh, Magnus. I would do anything to switch places with you. I should be the one in this bed, not you. I am so sorry.”_ _

__

__Alec felt a soft touch on his arm and he opened his eyes. He wasn’t even sure when he had fallen asleep._ _

__He was still holding Magnus’ hand in his own. His boyfriend still looked like he was just sleeping, and for two seconds Alec thought it was the case, and then he remembered that the reality was a completely different story._ _

__He looked up and noticed another nurse. She was pale but beautiful. She had very light hair, almost white._ _

__“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to disturb you but I really need to take care of Magnus now,” she said kindly._ _

__“Oh, yes. Of course. I’m sorry,” he replied and immediately stood up, almost hitting the nurse by accident._ _

__“Aline told me you were here, it’s okay,” she smiled at him. “She said you’re a great boyfriend, always spending every moment with him.”_ _

__Alec blushed, people needed to stop praising him. Especially right now._ _

__“I’m on shift today so if you need anything, I’m Helen,” she smiled once again._ _

__Alec stuttered his own name and left the room so Helen could do her job._ _

__The nurses in this hospital were so nice and friendly, and Alec truly appreciated this. Especially Aline who helped him so much during the first shock when he came to the hospital with Magnus. He had no idea what he would’ve done if it hadn’t been for her._ _

__As soon as he got out of the room, his phone rang. It was Luke which meant he had to go back to work anyway._ _

__They decided to meet in front of Sing Sing Correctional Facility where Valentine was serving his sentence. Luke was going there right from the airport and Jace was coming from his apartment._ _

__Alec walked into the room for a second to say goodbye to Magnus and Helen before leaving. It felt wrong to leave just like that. He knew Magnus couldn’t hear him but recently Alec’s rational and irrational sides of brain couldn’t really agree with each other. He stopped trying to make sense of it._ _

__

__The prison didn’t change at all from the last time he had been here, now it was just covered in snow._ _

__Jace arrived 5 minutes after him and they had to wait 20 more minutes for Luke._ _

__“I’m really sorry,” Luke said coming out of the car. “The traffic in this weather is a nightmare.”_ _

__Both Alec and Jace only nodded because everyone who lived in New York was used to people being late all the time, and most of people were okay with it anyway. It was what it was._ _

__“Are you ready to meet him again?” Jace asked Luke carefully._ _

__“Well, I’ve never thought I would have to but I’ll be glad to see his defeat once again,” Luke replied with a huge grin._ _

__They knew they had him, they only came to inform Valentine that his deal was off and that he was about to be moved to the Southport Correctional Facility which was a disciplinary supermax prison with only solitary confinement. It was very rare for a prisoner to be sent to that supermax after committing a crime, you usually had to commit a very serious crime while being imprisoned somewhere else. And that was a perfect description of what Valentine had done._ _

__Camille spilled absolutely everything. During the last visit, it seemed like Valentine had tried to put everything on her, make her the boss of this whole thing. He clearly hadn’t expected her to reveal everything like that. All names, all addresses, who she or her employees met with, who they wanted to approach, and how she was getting orders from him through Pangborn._ _

__It seemed kind of unreal. He and Jace had worked on this for such a long time that Alec could barely remember the time before. This case had become his life and even though he majorly fucked up and would have to pay the price for it, it was about to be over. He could focus on making things right. If that could be ever possible._ _

__This uncertainty about how Magnus would act after waking up was killing Alec on the inside. He was trying to stay focused, he needed to at least seem okay in front of his brother and a man he considered his biggest influence in his life. But the voice of guilt was always very present, even when he tried to push it down._ _

__They were trying to figure out how Valentine managed to give any orders when he was locked up in supermax. Nobody was supposed to have any contact with him. Camille didn’t have any information about that, though. She never cared enough to ask since it didn’t make any difference to her._ _

__Alec wasn’t about to ask more questions about this, it would be for the next detective to figure it out. Whatever it was, it must’ve been extremely hard. After all, he requested one visitor a week and that was definitely to make the situation easier for him and Pangborn._ _

__As soon as Camille’s confession was over, the officers approached Pangborn who was having a party in his penthouse, clearly not expecting police to come. _Idiot.__ _

__The three of them were greeted by the same warden as last time, Alec still didn’t like him but he kept his comments to himself._ _

__“I must say,” the warden started as none of them wanted to make any kind of conversation with him, “I will be glad to get rid of Morgenstern from my prison.”_ _

__“I’m sure you will,” Luke responded._ _

__It was already late afternoon when they finally went into an interrogation room._ _

__Just like last time, Valentine was sitting cuffed at the table. The only difference between today and before was his smile. Or maybe the lack of it. He definitely wasn’t his confident self. Not when he looked at Luke who was fighting really hard not to grin._ _

__Alec couldn’t blame him. Luke sacrificed so much to catch him, it almost cost him his family. But he had won back then and he won once again._ _

__Luke sat down in front of Valentine. Alec and Jace stood behind him. They were main detectives on the case but they both admired Luke and they wanted him to handle this._ _

__“Lucian,” Valentine said and moved a little bit in his seat._ _

__“It’s been Luke for many years now. How are you? Enjoying your stay?” he asked casually._ _

__Valentine was staring at him for a good minute and then he looked up at Alec and Jace, he must’ve been thinking what was going on. Or maybe he already knew that. Valentine might’ve been a coldblooded criminal but he was also extremely intelligent._ _

__“Why are you here?”_ _

__“I couldn’t help myself and had to come see you, I have amazing news.”_ _

__“Oh really? Do tell,” Valentine was trying to keep his poker face, but with every second it was dropping and it was more visible that he was getting uncomfortable._ _

__“Detectives Lightwood and Herondale caught Camille. You know Camille, right?”_ _

__Valentine looked up again. Alec was sure he had figured it out and now they would witness how this once powerful man would break right in front of them. If he was being honest, Alec had been waiting for this. After everything, he should be crawling right in front of them. Not that it would change anything but it would certainly bring at least some kind of satisfaction._ _

__“The bitch talked, didn’t she?” he tried to lean against his chair but the cuffs were very tight. “I can’t say I didn’t consider this possibility.”_ _

__Alec was shocked. It seemed like Valentine took a calculated risk when he had told him and Raj about Camille but it backfired on him. He needed that deal more than he cared whether Camille would talk or not. He was definitely hoping she wouldn’t, and maybe even a bit surprised that she did, but Valentine definitely wasn’t about to beg for forgiveness._ _

__Alec’s body was shaking, he could almost hear blood running through his veins. He had never been so angry in his entire life._ _

__“Why did you do that then?!” he yelled and startled both Luke and Jace. Neither of them was expecting shouting in a very quiet room. “You know you’re never leaving prison and you clearly weren’t trying to make a fortune for your son, you despise him.”_ _

__Valentine looked at him properly, a smirk on his face and Alec had to fight the urge to come up to him and punch him. Repeatedly._ _

__“This was me trying to help humanity,” he responded seriously._ _

__“What the fuck?!”_ _

__“Language, child. Honestly, detectives these days,” he tutted and shook his head. He was staring at Luke once again. “When I was selling guns and now the drugs, I was cleaning the world. You see, it was never about the money. I had a mission and this mission was to make this world a better place.”_ _

__Alec clenched his fists and took one step towards him but in a second he could feel Jace’s hand holding his arm tightly. He turned right and Jace only shook his head as if he was trying to say that this wasn’t worth it. And maybe it wasn’t but there was nothing else that Alec would rather do in that very moment._ _

__“What do you mean?” Alec heard Luke’s calm and unaffected voice._ _

__Alec tried to start thinking straight and he realized one thing. Bringing Luke here was the best thing that they could have done. Luke had spent so much time working on Valentine’s case, and he had spent hours in an interrogation room with him. He had studied him and known how to talk with him. He knew what shouldn’t be said or what tone of voice wouldn’t be affective. Luke knew how to talk with Valentine to make him feel uneasy instead of giving him satisfaction._ _

__Alec might’ve never been good at talking about his feelings but he could never really hide them, he was very often an open book._ _

__“This world is full of drug users, gangsters, murderers, rapists… I was trying to get rid of them. I’ve always been misunderstood.”_ _

__“You are one of them,” Jace finally spoke up. “You’re a murderer and a drug lord. You wanted to get rid of the bad guys and you’re the worst of them all.”_ _

__“Now that’s just offensive.”_ _

__“Detective Herondale is correct. You’re not any better than those that you claim you wanted to get rid of,” there was almost like sadness in Luke’s voice. Like he was really hoping that Valentine could change during all those years. But since he hadn’t, it just hurt. “You are getting promoted to the Southport Correctional Facility. I hope you’ll enjoy your solitude.”_ _

__He stood up slowly and walked out of the door, not giving Valentine another look._ _

__Alec and Jace didn’t say anything to this, they didn’t need to. They followed Luke outside of the interrogation room._ _

__They left the prison and when they reached their cars, Alec leaned against the door of his own car. He sighed loudly._ _

__This was it, he was finally free. And jobless. But he wasn’t worried about this. Life would somehow work out, it always did. All Alec needed was to finally go back to the hospital._ _

__He heard a noise coming out of his stomach._ _

__“Looks like someone is hungry,” Luke chuckled._ _

__Alec blushed a little. He couldn’t remember when was the last time he actually ate something. He was living mostly on coffee but food? No matter how hard he tried, he couldn’t remember._ _

__“I’m going to take Jocelyn and Clary and we’ll go visit Magnus now. Thanks for letting me finish this case,” Luke said and gave them both tight hugs._ _

__He got into his car and drove away._ _

__Alec was about to do the same but he looked properly at Jace who was staring at the ground and kicking a big stone. And it hit Alec immediately. Jace got upset because Luke had mentioned Clary._ _

__“How are you holding up?” Alec asked. “Are you going to talk to her or are you going to suffer in silence?”_ _

__“Fuck off, dude.”_ _

__“I’m sorry, you know I didn’t mean it that way.”_ _

__Jace gave him a small smile. “Yeah, I know. But I’m just so... confused. Does she even wanna talk? She left so suddenly and she broke my fucking heart, man. And she said it was because of work and now we both quit. And I don’t even know where to start?”_ _

__Alec wasn’t sure how he could help, clearly he wasn’t an expert in how to deal with relationships. He did risk his boyfriend’s life after all._ _

__He mentally kicked himself again. How many times was it now? It wasn’t like he forgot the first time when he realized what he had done to Magnus._ _

__“Jace, just be honest with her. I don’t want you to suffer anymore. You deserve to be happy. Whether it’s with her or not.”_ _

__His brother opened his mouth to say something but in that very moment his phone started ringing._ _

__Jace’s face was surprised, like he didn’t expect this person to call, and Alec suspected only one person that Jace wouldn’t want to talk to right now. And that was the same person that Alec wouldn’t want to talk to right now or in the future for that matter._ _

__Jace didn’t talk much during this conversation, just a mix of ‘yes’ and ‘of course’. Alec already knew that he wouldn’t have a chance to go to the hospital just yet, there was still something that Maryse wanted from them. And Alec was about to take Jace’s phone and tell her just how much he didn’t care what else she wanted from them. They finished the case. Camille was about to get a proper treatment in a psychiatric hospital, Valentine secured his life-long sentence in another supermax. What else could she possibly want? Alec quit, Jace quit and she told them it would be official when the case is over. And it was._ _

__Alec shivered slightly. He was wearing his warmest winter jacket but the lack of proper sleep and not having any kind of real food in what seemed to be forever had a big impact on how he felt. Truth be told, Alec had never felt more exhausted in his entire life. Not only physically but also mentally. He really thought his body and mind relaxed at least a little bit when they were all in Miami but everything that happened made him feel even worse than before._ _

__He selfishly allowed himself to have that weekend. He should have told Magnus earlier, and he should have argued with his boyfriend more that Magnus didn't need to do this. It wasn’t his job. It was Alec’s._ _

__Jace sighed loudly and put his phone back into his jeans’ pocket._ _

__“It was Maryse,” he said. “We’re not done yet.”_ _

__“What the hell does it mean? We’ve just finished with Valentine, this is over,” Alec breathed out and wrapped his long arms around himself, trying to make himself at least a bit warmer. It wasn’t really working, though._ _

__“Sebastian called, he wants to make a deal.”_ _

__Why would they even need Sebastian now? He had his chance and he never contacted them after being arrested. Now they had everything they needed and his information wouldn’t change anything._ _

__This was exactly what he told Jace._ _

__“But he doesn’t know that we know and he might incriminate himself even further so we need to meet with him,” Jace said matter-of-factly. “Look, I know you want to go back to the hospital but this is the last thing we’ll have to do and then we’re free, I promise.”_ _

__Alec shook his head but didn’t argue with his brother anymore. It wasn’t Jace’s fault that they had got yet another order from their mother. No, their already former captain. Alec had to finally switch to that title for good. She would never accept him for who he was and he would never be good enough for her. She didn’t care._ _

__They got into their cars and drove all the way to county jail where Sebastian was still being held at._ _

__By the time they got there, it was already late evening and Alec was running on fumes of his last coffee, his eyelids felt so heavy and he could feel his stomach growl. But even though he felt hungry, he knew he wouldn’t be able to swallow any form of food. He would get sick immediately._ _

__He looked at his phone. He had five messages from Izzy asking if he was alright and begging him to give her any kind of reply so she wouldn’t have to be so worried. He typed a quick ‘I’m fine, love you’ because the last thing he wanted was for his sister to keep worrying about him._ _

__He also had one message from Simon asking the same thing. He and Simon were never great friends because Alec didn’t understand his sense of humour and he wasn’t interested in the same things as Simon was. Nevertheless, he still appreciated him because Alec knew that he could always count on Simon, even in the hardest time. He typed another ‘I’m fine’ and put his phone back into the inside pocket of his jacket._ _

__He walked out of his car, Jace was already waiting for him in front of the big gates._ _

__“Sorry, had to reply to Izzy. You know her, she’d probably track me down to see if I was okay,” Alec tried joking to release the tension._ _

__The security in the county jail was still very tight but luckily it didn’t take as long to get through as in supermax. They followed an officer into yet another interrogation room. Alec was sick of the view. All interrogation rooms seemed to look exactly the same. And during those last couple of months, Alec spent so much time in them, he was starting to forget how the sun looked like._ _

__But he reminded himself that this was going to be the last one. Just one more interview and he was done._ _

__He and Jace walked in and sat in front of Sebastian. Alec remembered immediately how much he despised that guy when they had caught him the first time. The overconfident smile always present on his stupid face, and Alec had to clench his fists to fight the urge to punch him. Apparently it was his regular reaction to the Morgenstern family._ _

__“Talk,” was the only thing that Jace said._ _

__“What, no good evening? Firstly, we should discuss the deal before I can tell you anything.”_ _

__“Talk or you can forget any kind of deal,” and it seemed like Jace was just as tired with this as Alec was._ _

__“Fine,” Sebastian agreed after a minute of silence when he was clearly considering his options. “The person you’re looking for, the so-called The Woman, is actually Camille Belcourt. I believe you both heard of her.”_ _

__Alec and Jace sighed in unison._ _

__Sebastian looked at both of them slightly nervously but he continued anyway. “But this is where it gets interesting, and you’d better give me a sweet deal for this. She has a boss and that boss is the pathetic excuse of my father, Valentine Morgenstern.”_ _

__“We already know all of this, you’re not getting any deal but since you did just admit to working for Valentine, we’ll make sure to tell the prosecutor about this. She will enjoy adding this to your charges.”_ _

__Sebastian gasped. He clearly wasn’t expecting this. He definitely didn’t have the best sources in this place. Instead of getting out earlier, he probably only added to his sentence._ _

__“Did you talk with that bitch Camille?” he asked when Alec and Jace were already about to leave the room. “That psycho must have been fun to talk to.”_ _

__And that was it. Alec couldn’t fight this anymore. He turned around and almost ran that small distance between the door and the table where Sebastian was sitting at. He caught his jumpsuit with both of his hands and leaned him on his chair._ _

__“You knew she was sick?! And you haven’t thought to mention this before?!” Alec yelled right into his face._ _

__“What?” Sebastian smirked. “Did something happen?” he tried to sound innocent._ _

__Alec couldn’t see anything around him anymore. He started punching Sebastian before he could even stop himself. That piece of shit knew that Camille was dangerous and he didn’t give that information to anyone. If they had known, Magnus wouldn’t have been stabbed. That whole meeting wouldn’t have even happened._ _

__Alec couldn’t hit him more than two or three times before he was being held by Jace and some officer that was guarding the door. He tried to go back to his task because that was the only thing that was giving him satisfaction in that moment but the grip of the two men was too strong._ _

__“Get him away from me!” Sebastian yelled and then spat the blood on the floor._ _

__It was too difficult to say from the distance, especially when Alec was breathing hard and rage was still flowing through his veins, but he was pretty sure he broke Sebastian’s nose. He knew he shouldn’t have done this and that he would probably have to pay the price for it but he had already quit from his job, it wasn’t like he cared about being fired._ _

__“We’re leaving,” Jace told him and pushed him out of the door._ _

__Alec was still breathing hard and when he was standing in the corridor, leaning against the wall, and suddenly he couldn’t see properly. Everything around him began to look completely black._ _

__“What the fuck were you think-“_ _

__He didn’t hear the rest of the sentence. He passed out._ _

__

__Alec opened his eyes slowly and then closed them back immediately. The lights were so unnaturally bright and they were hurting his eyes. He tried once again, even more slowly, until his eyes got used to the brightness. He tried to look around. He was in a small room, the walls were in a light green colour. He looked down and noticed and IV coming out of his hand._ _

___Was he in a hospital?_ _ _

__“Ah, you’re awake,” he heard a female voice, and a second later Helen was standing right next to his bed._ _

__“How am I in a hospital?” he managed to ask. His voice sounded hoarse._ _

__Helen gave him a small cup of water with a straw. “Thank you,” he said._ _

__“Your very charming brother brought you here. You passed out after hitting a suspect, I believe?”_ _

__Suddenly everything came back to him. The way Sebastian was smirking when he realized that him not giving information about Camille hurt someone. What was Alec expecting from a son of Valentine Morgenstern anyway? And then he was punching him, breaking his nose. He had no regrets._ _

__“Charming? Please don’t tell me you like my brother,” Alec whined._ _

__“Tempting,” she smirked. “He does have _very_ interesting eyes. But I am happily in a relationship. You actually know her.”_ _

__Alec blamed his confusion on passing out._ _

__“Aline is my better half. Actually, we are getting married next month,” she said with the biggest grin._ _

__Alec smiled back. He didn’t spend much time with either Aline or Helen but he liked them both very much and was genuinely happy for them._ _

__“Congratulations,” he said._ _

__“Thank you! So anyway, Jace brought you here because you didn’t eat or sleep in forever, and then the stress of hitting that guy, and your body finally gave up. It wasn’t anything serious but I would advise you not to do this again.”_ _

__Alec nodded. He knew it was completely his fault and he shouldn’t have allowed this to get that far. “How long have I been out?”_ _

__“About two days, you clearly needed that sleep.”_ _

__“What?! I need to get out of here and check on Magnus!” he yelled and tried to take his IV out. At least he was in the same hospital and didn’t need to drive. He still didn’t feel completely like himself._ _

__Helen stopped him immediately. “Hold your horses, mister,” her voice was very serious now. “You still need to get some rest. Magnus is okay, doctor Aldertree will be waking him up tomorrow actually. He said he’s ready to be back.”_ _

__Alec felt a huge relief. Magnus was coming back. Magnus was okay._ _

__Of course the voice telling him that Magnus would definitely hate him was immediately there but at this point Alec made peace with it. Or maybe not peace but he accepted that this would happen and he couldn't change it. He knew that it was inevitable but the only thing that really mattered was Magnus getting better._ _

__“Can I see him, please?” he almost begged._ _

__Helen shook her head. “Not yet. You need to stay in bed for today and I mean it, don’t even think of sneaking out of this room.”_ _

__Alec promised, he didn’t want to get on Helen’s bad side._ _

__“I will take you to him in the morning when doctor Aldertree will be waking him up.”_ _

__Helen got out of the room and Alec was left alone, surrounded by the silence. He was afraid what it would mean. When he was unconscious, he didn’t have to deal with the constant guilt that was just always there, never leaving him, suffocating him._ _

__However before he had a chance to really start thinking about this whole situation once again, his sister almost ran into the room, followed by Max. They both looked extremely worried and Alec mentally kicked himself for this. He never wanted for this to happen, they weren’t supposed to think about him right now, he wasn’t important._ _

__Izzy sat right next to him on bed and hit him slightly in his arm._ _

__“Are you kidding me?! When I get an “I’m fine” text, I expect you to be actually fine and not passing out like an hour later. What the hell, Alec?!”_ _

__He looked at her and started rubbing his arm. “Well, it’s not like I planned for this to happen.”_ _

__She gave him the stare, a typical one from Izzy that would express more than a thousand words. The one that Alec understood too well. He would always receive it when they were teenagers and he would do something against Izzy’s wishes. To be fair, it was quite often back then but he always said it was for his own good._ _

__This time he knew he had deserved it._ _

__“I’m sorry, okay?” he looked at her and then at Max who was standing at the end of the bed._ _

__“Yeah, yeah,” Izzy shushed him._ _

__“We saw Magnus,” Max said after a minute of silence. “The doctor said they’d be waking him up tomorrow morning.”_ _

__Alec took a deep breath. He had heard about it from Helen couple of minutes ago but now hearing it from his brother's mouth made it even more real._ _

__“I’ve been told.”_ _

__“Aren’t you excited?” Max asked confused. “He’s coming back to you! And you’ll be disgustingly happy together again.”_ _

__If that was the truth, Alec would be the happiest man in the whole world. Instead he knew how difficult it would be. Nothing would ever be the same between them. After all those years, he and Magnus were finally happy together and he ruined it. Well done._ _

__Izzy put her hand on Alec’s so he would pay attention to her words. “Why do you keep blaming yourself for this?”_ _

__He opened his mouth to say something but everything that formed in his head sounded like excuses and that wouldn’t change anything. It happened and now he had to face the consequences. Whatever they would be._ _

__Izzy shook her head like she could read his mind, and sometimes Alec really felt like she could. She would always know things about him, even when he tried really hard to hide them. It was easier like this because talking about his feelings or his thoughts was always very hard. But if she knew, he didn’t have to say those things out loud. It was a perfect arrangement._ _

__They stayed with Alec for the whole day. Jace came for a bit but couldn’t stay longer. He decided to take Alec’s advice and finally have a proper conversation with Clary. He seemed very anxious, Jace wasn’t the one to talk about his emotions either. But he could always count on his siblings to help him realize certain things. Just like in this case. All of them saw just how much Jace was suffering when Clary left. But nobody, including Jace, knew if it was because they broke up or that because it happened so suddenly, without any warning, without a proper conversation._ _

__Yes, Jace loved Clary very much. But she wasn’t the first girl in his life. The feelings between them were very strong, maybe the strongest Jace had ever experienced in his life. But he was the one who had to decide if he wanted to try again, if Clary even wanted to try again. Now when Alec and Jace both quit, the main reason for the breakup was gone. But was it enough to rebuild this relationship? Or maybe the heartbreak was too big._ _

__

__Izzy and Max had to leave when the visiting hours were over._ _

__Alec couldn’t sleep. He was counting hours to the moment that Magnus would be finally coming back to the real world. He couldn’t wait to see those beautiful brown eyes again. Oh how he missed those eyes. And Magnus’ voice. The gentle sound that was always spreading warmth in Alec’s heart. The calming voice that could always settle his nerves even in the hardest situations. He thought selfishly how much he would love to hear it again just to make himself less anxious about what would happen the next day. He wasn’t prepared for any of this. However, he knew that he needed Magnus to be finally back._ _

__

__At 6am he noticed Helen and Aline in the hallway, talking together and laughing. They looked so casual together and Alec didn’t want to interrupt them but he couldn’t stay away from Magnus’ room any longer._ _

__His IV was still in and he wasn’t sure what to do with it. He started standing up and trying to remove it._ _

__“What on Earth are you doing?!” Aline must have noticed him through the open door. “Are you out of your mind?!”_ _

__Alec removed his hand immediately and he could feel a blush spreading on his face. He felt like a child caught with a hand in a cookie jar._ _

__“I need to see him. _Please_ ,” he begged._ _

__Aline shook her head and looked at her fiancée. “See, this is why I’m glad I’m a lesbian and I don’t need to deal with men,” she said casually._ _

__“Oh but they can still be so cute,” Helen chuckled. “Being bi is great!” she stood closer to Aline and gave her a quick peck on the cheek._ _

__Alec was observing this whole situation and even though he felt like he was trespassing, he couldn’t help himself. They looked so happy and Alec’s thoughts went immediately to the similar casual moments he had got to share with Magnus. And he could actually feel his heart ache._ _

__“Doctor Aldertree will start waking him up at 9, Alec. And it may take hours for Magnus to actually be fully awake. You should stay in bed,” Aline tried to reason with him, even though he could see on her face that she knew it wouldn’t change his mind._ _

__She slowly removed his IV and made him sit in a wheelchair that Helen had brought. Alec wanted to say that he didn’t need it but as soon as he stood up, he staggered and had to take Aline’s arm in order not to fall down._ _

__He hated being so helpless but he couldn’t change it right now, so he sat down in the wheelchair and allowed Helen to push him right into Magnus’ room._ _

__Alec wasn’t sure what he had expected exactly, maybe at least the slightest change. It had been days after all. But Magnus was still lying in his bed, his eyes closed, his chest moving in the same rhythm up and down, up and down._ _

__“I’m gonna leave you two alone,” Helen whispered and Alec nodded in a simple ‘thank you’ gesture._ _

__He stood up carefully and walked to the chair that was next to Magnus’ bed. He held Magnus' hand in his own and he was caressing it slowly with his thumb. He wasn’t saying anything, just observing and not paying attention to the outside world._ _

__Alec didn’t even hear the heavy steps of someone walking into the room._ _

__“Ah, Mr. Ligthwood,” Alec heard a male voice and immediately took away his hand, as if he had done something wrong._ _

__It was doctor Aldertree. It must’ve already been 9am and Alec didn’t even realise that he was sitting here for such a long time._ _

__“Good morning, doctor,” he said._ _

__“How are you feeling? I’ve heard you passed out and now you’re our patient as well,” his voice wasn’t unkind or accusing, just curious._ _

__“Yeah, I- I didn’t have time to eat or sleep so… yeah,” Alec stuttered and he hated himself for it._ _

__“You look better now,” Aldertree replied and started preparing Magnus for the waking up process._ _

__Alec moved from the way and was looking at everything that Aldertree was doing. Alec noticed that he was giving Magnus different kinds of drugs and it was done in a couple of minutes. Then the doctor turned around to face Alec who was standing and leaning against the wall because he still didn’t feel strong enough to stand properly on his own two feet without any kind of support._ _

__“It might take some time for him to be fully awake, you can stay with him if you want to. I had Aline call all of his friends that were here last time to wait till tomorrow with a visit. We don’t want to overwhelm him after such a long time.”_ _

__“Thank you, doctor,” Alec replied immediately._ _

__“The nurses will be coming every hour to monitor him for any changes.”_ _

__As soon as the doctor was gone, Alec was back at his side and holding his hand. It was difficult to look at Magnus when he was still having an intubation tube in. It almost didn’t feel true that soon he would be awake and back in the real world._ _

__After some time Helen came to check on Magnus and she brought Alec his lunch. She made him eat all of it. Even though it was the most tasteless thing that he had ever eaten in his entire life._ _

__

__It was already dark outside but Alec had no idea what time it was. It was still getting dark in the afternoon, and he didn’t want to get up to check on a clock in the hallway since he had forgotten to take his phone with himself._ _

__In that moment he could’ve sworn he felt the lightest squeeze of his hand. He looked down and he realized that Magnus was waking up. He was opening his eyes slowly, the lights were dimmed so it would be easier for him to get used to them._ _

__Magnus started having problems with breathing. Now that he could breathe on his own, the tube was something that was an obstacle._ _

__Alec stood up quickly and ignored the dizziness in his head. Because Magnus was awake. Magnus was finally back._ _

__“Nurse!” he yelled._ _

__Aline was the one who came to the room immediately. She noticed that Magnus was awake and struggling to breathe. She called a doctor right away. It wasn’t doctor Aldertree, he was probably already home. Alec didn’t know this person but that didn’t even matter._ _

__The doctor extubated Magnus and Magnus coughed a few times. Aline put a nasal canula on him and he visibly relaxed, now that he could breathe properly. She and the doctor checked something on the monitors and they both seemed to be satisfied._ _

__“Alexander?” Magnus almost whispered, his throat must’ve hurt so badly._ _

__Alec was back at his side and holding his hand._ _

__The doctor asked Magnus a few questions to establish that everything was okay with him. Magnus’ answers were logical and it looked like he was coming back the way he was supposed to._ _

__Alec could feel the nervousness building inside of him. He wanted to jump because he was so happy, but at the same time the idea of conversation wasn’t just an idea anymore. It was something that would be reality in couple of minutes, as soon as the doctor and Aline left the room._ _

__“Doctor Aldertree will be back in the morning to explain your situation in detail since he was your surgeon. You will probably be asleep once again very soon and you might even forget this whole evening so it’d be better to wait,” the doctor stated, still looking at Magnus’ chart. “You’ve been in a coma for a couple of days after having a surgery. It went well and you are healing nicely.”_ _

__Magnus nodded slightly and squeezed Alec’s hand._ _

__The doctor must’ve noticed it because he put down the chart back in its place and left the room._ _

__“He’s not a very nice doctor,” Aline said quietly. “But he is really good,” she smiled._ _

__Magnus smiled back at her._ _

__“Oh I already like you,” she chuckled. “Well,” she looked at Alec, “he’s been driving us all crazy and staying in this room all the time so he clearly missed you. I’m gonna leave you now. Let me know if you need anything.”_ _

__Alec was blushing again and he would be thinking how ridiculous that was because honestly, he was an adult, he shouldn't be blushing all the time but Aline was already going out of the room and he was left with Magnus._ _

__Magnus who was looking at him with so much awe in his eyes and Alec couldn’t handle this._ _

__“I am so sorry, Magnus,” he breathed out. “I know I don’t deserve your forgiveness but-“_ _

__“What are you talking about?” Magnus interrupted him immediately, even though it was obviously very difficult for him to speak._ _

__“This, all of this. It’s my fault. I know that and I-“_ _

__Magnus put his hand up to stop Alec from talking. “Darling,” he was whispering again and Alec felt how his whole body was shivering. Just hearing Magnus’ voice made him feel alive again. “Seems to me like you saved my stubborn ass.”_ _

__Alec was staring at him, trying to read the truth in Magnus’ eyes because clearly he must've hated him now, not say that Alec saved his life. It was nothing and anyone would do this. Alec didn’t know what to say._ _

__Magnus was squeezing his hand once again, too exhausted to make any other gesture. “Please tell me you didn’t spend this whole time blaming yourself for this.”_ _

__Alec lowered his head. Of course he did. It was his fault after all._ _

__“No, it wasn’t your fault,” Magnus said a bit louder._ _

___Did he say that out loud?_ _ _

__“I love you, Alec. Thank you for saving my life,” Magnus added in a whisper._ _

__Alec blinked like he couldn’t believe this was happening._ _

__“I love you too, Magnus. I love you so much.”_ _

__Just like the doctor had said, Magnus closed his eyes and fell asleep. But this time it was a safe sleep, a regular sleep. Just like any other ordinary person who was tired._ _

__Alec still felt incredibly guilty, even Magnus’ words couldn’t change that. But somehow it was easier to breathe now. Maybe with time the guilt would become smaller but he doubted it would completely go away._ _


	15. That’s exactly how I’m gonna play

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi, guys! i have arrived with the last chapter! i know, i know... it's been 84 years. but i'm not gonna lie, i kind of didn't want to write it because that's the end of this part and i've been writing this fic since september. it was my first real baby in this fandom and i'm very emo to see it end.
> 
> HOWEVER, this is not the actual end! as you can see, this work is part of a series and there will be two more parts, each will have two chapters and will be very fluffy. they will focus on next steps in the life of magnus and alec so i really hope you liked this universe i've created and you'll stick around
> 
> i'd like to thank all of you for reading my story, leaving kudos and comments. you were such a huge motivation to keep writing and i had so much fun with this story and you were a huge part of this <3
> 
> special shoutout to my amazing friend Susanne [@bane-of-brooklyn](http://bane-of-brooklyn.tumblr.com/)  
> you helped me in so many moments while writing and you kept believing in me and it honestly means everything to me  
> so thank you and i love you <3
> 
> so here's the last chapter! i hope you will enjoy it :)
> 
> you can find me on tumblr [@harryshmjr](http://harryshmjr.tumblr.com)

It had been two months since the accident, as Magnus decided to call what had happened. He didn’t want to dwell on it for too long because it was pointless. So yes, his ex-girlfriend stabbed him, and he almost lost his life because he was a stubborn son of a bitch, and thought he could bring her to justice, even though he had no idea what he was actually doing. And yes, he lost his spleen, and he was still bitter about the fact that he had to give up drinking alcohol. But nothing would stop him from making those fabulous cocktails. They were still delicious, even if they didn’t have a drop of alcohol in them.

But Magnus had never felt more alive in his entire life. He survived, and that horrible case was finally over. What else could he ask for?

It took him about a month to be finally back to his old self, he took another month off to get even more rest. It was mostly on request of Alec who kept saying how much he had deserved it, and that he needed to take care of himself.

Ah, Alec. His beautiful and wonderful and thoughtful boyfriend. The one who had saved his life, and then was taking care of him when Magnus was struggling with doing some basic things. Magnus wasn’t sure what he had done to deserve such an amazing boyfriend. Many people wouldn't really bother. He met too many people like that.

However, things weren’t exactly as he had imagined. Ever since Magnus came back to his own flat, Alec basically moved in with him and it should’ve been everything that Magnus had ever dreamt of. But even when he was already okay, Alec was keeping his distance. Alec was physically closer to him than ever but Magnus couldn’t stop having this weird feeling where he missed Alec. He missed their casual touches, the hugs, the hand on the small of his back, the kisses. And he also missed how he felt when they had sex for the first time in Miami. It had been so long and Magnus would be completely okay with it if only he knew the reason for all of this.

“Biscuit, what does it even mean? Should I be worried? No, don’t answer that. I _am_ worried,” he whined to his friend one day.

Magnus tried to stay in touch with Clary because she had to go back to Paris a week after he woke up so they didn’t get many chances to catch up on everything she had been up to. So they tried to skype at least two or three times a week, however the time difference was sometimes very problematic. It was either too early for Magnus or too late for Clary. But they tried their best.

“Magnus, please calm down. You know very well that nothing else exists for Alec when you’re around. He _loves_ you,” she made sure to stress the world love.

They could speak freely because Alec wasn’t home. He was currently at Aline and Helen’s.

At first Alec didn’t know what he was supposed to do after quitting his job as a detective. He was working for the police his whole adult life and he had never done anything else. But when Magnus was still in a coma, Alec had a chance to get to know those two amazing women, Aline and Helen. Two wonderful nurses that helped Magnus to get on his feet.

One day when Magnus came back for a checkup, Alec came with him. And as he was waiting, Aline came around. A casual talk turned into something that gave Alec a new purpose in life. She told him how he should try to become a paramedic. He would still get to help people but he wouldn’t have to risk his life all the time. It was a perfect solution. Alec always wanted to save people, he was always worried about everyone, and making sure they were okay. Magnus was thrilled when he heard about the idea.

“So what’s wrong with us?” Magnus sighed dramatically, a drink in his hand. In moments like those, he really missed the alcohol. “What if-“

“There is no ‘if’s between you two,” Clary interrupted him, her voice was calm and gentle but also serious, not leaving any place for doubt. She somehow always knew how to read people and make them feel less stressed out. “Just talk to him and stop coming up with weird explanations. I’m sure you have nothing to worry about.”

Magnus gave her a small smile. Technically he knew she was right, but he was afraid how this conversation could end, and he hated feeling so insecure. He had to talk with Alec, he had to know what was wrong.

“And how are you and Jace?” he asked to divert attention from himself.

Clary lowered her head a little bit and she was quiet for couple of seconds. “We haven’t really talked since I came back to Paris,” she sighed and took a sip of her wine. Magnus pretended he wasn’t jealous. “But when I was in New York, we decided to stay friends. Last time I talked with dad, he said Jace was going to join his detective agency so at least I know he’ll be safe.”

Magnus hummed in agreement. “Yes, Luke also tried asking Alexander but that was still too similar to his old job and he declined.”

“But I hope his paramedic training is going well.”

“It is. Although, he spends way too much time on studying. But you know him, always going for perfection,” he chuckled gently.

“I don’t think me and Jace will be together ever again,” she said in a sad voice. And before Magnus had a chance to protest, she continued, “I’ve hurt him a lot.”

Magnus considered what he should say. He took another sip of his drink before saying anything.

“I can’t lie to you and say that you haven’t. But you are allowed to feel in a certain way. And back then, it was just too much for you. Whether you’ll be back together or not, I really hope you will both find happiness because you deserve it.”

“Thank you, Magnus.”

They talked some more about their daily lives. It was mostly Clary talking about exploring Paris and different projects that she was working on. Currently she was making a series of sketches of small alleys in Paris.

Magnus spent way too much time at home and even when he was going outside, not much seemed to be fun when Alec was always on his mind. He wasn’t even entirely sure why he hadn’t talked to his boyfriend yet. Fear was one thing but not knowing is always much worse. Your mind fills you with so many crazy ideas and even when you know they are ridiculous, you still can’t forget about them.

It was almost midnight for Clary when they decided to finish their conversation.

Not long after, Magnus moved the furniture to give himself some space for dancing. He gave up on the gym for a while now but he needed some kind of exercise so he started dancing every day. He almost forgot how great it used to feel, to just listen to music and feel the rhythm, move your body like nothing else mattered. It was one of the best feelings in the world. It also made him forget about his insecurities, even if it was only for a bit.

His eyes were closed and only music mattered. His hips, his arms, his whole body was moving to the sweet voice of Beyoncé.

He stopped in the middle of his pirouette when he heard his phone ringing. He found it lying on the couch.

“Raphael, my friend,” he answered the phone while trying to catch his breath.

“Magnus, are you insane?” Raphael didn’t even bother with greeting. He was his usual grumpy self.

“I have literally no idea what you’re talking about,” Magnus was really confused. He poured himself a glass of water while he was waiting for some kind of explanation.

“ _Dios mío_. You do realise that me and Ragnor actually have a club to run, right?”

Magnus huffed. He knew neither Raphael nor Ragnor minded taking care of everything in his absence. In fact, they were the ones who helped Alec to convince him that he shouldn’t go back to work as soon as he was okay. But it woudn’t be Raphael if he didn’t mention how much more work he now had.

“Excuse you, I’ve planned parties till like July, I’m not just sitting at home doing nothing, thank you very much.”

“Sure, guess who needs to take care of the logistics of your crazy ideas. Ragnor is currently in Chicago doing just that. We really don’t have time to deal with all of that.”

“It’s not my fault, everything needs to be perfect.”

“Obviously,” Raphael groaned loudly. “Listen, are you okay? Have you finally talked to Alec? God, I can’t believe I’m actually asking this.”

Magnus chuckled. “You know you love me,” he said. “And no, I haven’t,” he added more seriously.

He could hear Raphael facepalm loudly. “Just talk to your stupid boyfriend so you can stop filling your head with weird ideas that aren’t even close to reality, okay?”

“Clary said the same thing. And you’re both right, I know this. Thank you, my friend,” Magnus couldn’t help the smile.

“Yeah, yeah.”

 

Magnus started dancing again as soon as his phone call with Raphael ended. He wasn’t exactly sure how long he was dancing, he kind of lost himself in the music. He didn’t even hear that someone walked into the room. He only noticed Alec in the middle of a spin. He immediately stopped and smiled.

Alec lowered his head a bit to hide his blush, it didn’t really work. It never did. He was so adorable. Magnus always enjoyed this side of him way too much, he couldn’t help it.

Magnus took his sleeveless grey hoodie from the couch and put it back on. He wasn’t exactly planning on teasing Alec today but he knew very well that Alec had a thing for his arms and his reaction calmed Magnus’ nerves a lot. It was just them, he could absolutely do this.

“Alexander,” he came to him a gave him a quick peck on the cheek. Alec closed his eyes for a second as if he was savouring the touch but then he moved back. Magnus had no idea what to think about this. It seemed that Alec wanted their connection to be back as well but at the same time he was being distant. “How was your day?”

Alec took off his heavy jacket and put his bag on the floor. The bag opened and three big books fell out of it.

He was taking this training very seriously and was borrowing all possible books on the subject just so he could learn even more. He spent so much time on learning during his official training and when he wasn’t at Aline and Helen’s, he was in a library. He also studied all the time when he was back home. Almost like he was trying to avoid a real conversation with Magnus. Magnus supposed they both were. And he couldn’t stop that feeling of doubt that creeped inside of him again.

“It was good. And you? What have you been doing?” he asked and put the takeout on the breakfast bar.

“Oh you know, annoying Chairman, planning more parties… The usual. I’ve also talked with Clary, she’s doing great. And I’ve been dancing for,” he looked at the clock on the wall, “about three hours now.”

“Magnus!” he turned around quickly. “You were supposed to take care of yourself.”

He smiled, of course Alexander was worried about him. Even though there was no real reason to be worried, it still filled Magnus with this warm feeling.

“I am perfectly okay, darling. You know I go back to work next week. And dancing is a pleasure.”

“And you know I still think you should take it easy.”

Magnus shook his head with affection. There was no point in arguing with Alec on this. Magnus was already going insane staying in the loft for such a long time, and he was pretty sure that if he stayed any longer, Chairman might just kill him in his sleep for annoying him so much.

 

They were sitting on the couch in the living room and eating their dinner. They were watching another season of RuPaul’s Drag Race because even after all this time, Alec still hadn’t caught up on all seasons. Magnus wasn’t even trying to hide his disappointment.

“Oh come on, it’s been months, Alexander!”

“There are many seasons!”

It felt so right to be sitting like this but there was still a huge gap between them and Magnus really wanted to close it up, to sit right next to Alec and cuddle with him. Or possibly sit in his lap and kiss him senseless. Either way would be great.

Having felt brave and nervous at the same time, he stood up, put their takeout on the coffee table that was currently right next to the big window, and actually sat in Alec’s lap. Alec gasped and looked at Magnus with those amazing, big, hazel eyes that he loved so much. His hand was shaking a little bit when he started caressing Alec’s cheek just slightly.

Alec put his hands on Magnus’ hips instinctively so that he wouldn’t fall down.

Magnus wasn’t sure what he wanted to say to Alec but he knew he needed to do something. Anything.

“ _Magnus,_ ” Alec breathed out and closed his eyes.

Magnus smirked but before he had a chance to actually celebrate his success, Alec was pushing him off his laps and making him sit on the couch next to him.

Well, that hurt. And Magnus was even more confused than before. He knew it was time to use actual words because Alec wouldn’t start a conversation first.

“What’s wrong, Alec?” he asked. He tried to stay calm but he was nervous, and he couldn’t read the expression on Alec’s face. “I mean, fine. I get that you might not want to have sex and you know I’m absolutely fine with it. But I can’t remember the last time you hugged me,” he stood up and looked at Alec who was staring at his feet. “So can you talk to me? Because I can’t think of one reason for your behaviour and I would really appreciate it if you could simply just explain it to me. Have I done something wrong?”

“What?!” Alec stood up so quickly, he almost tripped over. “You haven’t done anything wrong! I love you, Magnus. More than anything. I just-“ he turned around and wasn’t facing Magnus anymore.

Magnus felt like his heart was about to pop out of his chest. He hated feeling like this. It wasn’t his thing, being so unsure about everything. Or at least he never wanted it to be. He was usually very confident, but Magnus was a person who was actually very vulnerable, always afraid of people turning his back on him, and everything got to him too easily. 

“You just what?” he asked and walked to stand behind Alec.

His boyfriend turned around and was facing Magnus once again. There were tears in his eyes and Magnus felt the exact moment when his heart broke into a million pieces. This was too difficult. He knew this conversation wasn’t going to be easy but it was worse than he had imagined. Yet he still didn’t know _why_ it was so difficult.

“I don’t deserve you,” Alec whispered.

_Wait, what?_

“I don’t understand,” he said because he really didn’t.

“What happened to you…”

So it was about that? Alec still felt guilty after all this time? Magnus didn’t even think of that one because he had told Alec so many times that it wasn’t his fault and Magnus never blamed him. Not even once. Magnus only blamed himself for being so reckless. He also blamed the Morgensterns. But Alec? He wouldn’t have been around if it hadn’t been for his boyfriend.

Magnus allowed himself another small gesture and he wiped the tear from Alec’s cheek. The one tear that somehow managed to escape.

Alec leaned into the touch like it was too hard to stop. He lowered his head and he was looking at the place where Magnus’ scar was under his hoodie.

“I’m not some kind of fragile thing, you know,” Magnus said. Now he felt a bit annoyed with this because pity was the last thing he needed. And he didn’t need people to treat him any different. After everything that happened, he just needed his normal life back. He needed Alec to be himself again. He needed _them_ to be themselves again.

“No, that’s not it, I swear,” Alec replied as soon as he noticed annoyance on Magnus’ face. “You are the strongest person I know, both mentally _and_ physically,” he sighed loudly but came a bit closer and Magnus’ breath hitched. They hadn’t stood so close to each other in a long time. Even when they were sleeping in the same bed, there was still some distance between them. “I ruined everything,” he added and lowered his head once again, not being able to look into Magnus’ eyes.

Magnus cupped his cheek and smiled at him. Oh how much he loved Alec, no words could ever express his actual feelings.

“Darling, I’ve said this like a hundred times and I will say this one more, final, time. You saved my life and I will be forever grateful for this. Without you, I wouldn’t have survived this.”

“But-“

Magnus put a finger on Alec’s lips to make him stop talking.

“No ‘but’s. You need to learn to forgive yourself, especially when there was absolutely _nothing_ you could’ve done to prevent it. You are not responsible for every bad thing that happens to people you care about,” he said seriously, still looking into Alec’s eyes and making sure that he heard everything clearly. “I miss you, Alexander. I don’t want to waste more time, we’ve done enough of waiting, don’t you think?”

Alec wrapped his arms around Magnus’ body and Magnus wrapped his around Alec’s neck. They stood in this embrace for what felt like forever. Neither of them wanted to let go. But then Alec did let go. His arms weren’t around Magnus anymore but he could still feel the ghost of them on his skin. He already missed the tight embrace from a second ago.

Magnus kissed Alec’s cheek and then he was moving his lips slowly, almost too scared to actually do it. When their lips finally touched, everything felt _right_ again. They fit together perfectly, as if they were meant to be always connected.

It wasn’t a long kiss but it conveyed so many emotions and feelings that when they stopped, they were both out of breath. Their foreheads were touching and Magnus didn't dare to open his eyes. He needed to save this moment for as long as possible. Because he missed Alec for way too long and he knew it was stupid, they should’ve never fallen apart like this. Not without a good reason, not when Alec had nothing to feel guilty about.

Magnus’s arms were still wrapped around Alec’s neck and he didn’t want to let go. He finally opened his eyes and smiled softly.

He could see the light slowly coming back to Alec’s eyes. The light that he had fallen in love. The light that made Alec this special person. The light that was missing for the last two months.

No, Magnus was aware of the fact that Alec wasn’t magically okay now but maybe, _just maybe_ , he started to forgive himself. And if Magnus had to remind him every single day just how much he means to him, then he would gladly do it.

They both knew that talking things through always worked in their relationship, even when they were just friends, but sometimes they would postpone it for too long because they were afraid of the result. It was always about the most important moments and it always ended up with regrets about not having a conversation immediately.

They were kissing again and it was still the slowest and softest kiss, barely a brush of their lips but it left Magnus with the warm feeling inside of him. He could feel it everywhere, it was just there, right under his skin. And he almost forgot how good it could feel because it’d been such a long time since they kissed.

But even though Alec was kissing him back, he still kept his hands mostly to himself and Magnus needed more and more and he felt like he was about to explode because Alec was right in front of him.

“Just,” Magnus stuttered looking at Alec. “Touch me, please,” he whispered against his lips.

Alec hesitated for a second but before Magnus had a chance to repeat, he felt Alec’s hands on his hips again. Magnus’ skin was on fire, despite the fact that they were both still wearing clothes. Alec moved his hands slowly and wrapped them around Magnus’ waist once more. They were fully touching now and Alec buried his face in Magnus’ crook of the neck.

When Magnus felt the hot breath on his skin, his whole body shivered. He couldn’t stop it.

“Are you okay?” Alec raised his head and looked into Magnus’ eyes.

“Never better,” Magnus smiled and kissed Alec, biting his lower lip gently.

This time there was nothing slow or hesitant about it. Magnus couldn’t slow down, he just needed to connect with Alec. He craved the feeling of touching and being touched. And Alec kissed back with the same force.

Magnus cupped Alec’s face with one hand and he buried the other one in his hair. He tugged it slightly and Alec moaned into the kiss. Magnus felt another pulse of electricity going through his whole body and his hips bucked on their own. Alec’s hands slowly found their way under Magnus’ hoodie and his skin was so sensitive to every single touch and he couldn’t breathe and it was all kinds of perfect.

They were standing right next to the breakfast bar and Magnus started moving slowly towards the couch in the living room. He didn’t really have to pay much attention because he had moved all the furniture to the side before starting his dancing session. He was so grateful to past Magnus for having done that.

Alec’s hands were everywhere. His back, his arms, his neck, his chest. And all Magnus could think about was _more, more, more_.

They reached the couch and Magnus pushed Alec slightly so he could sit down on it. Magnus took a couple of seconds to admire his amazing boyfriend who already looked like a mess. And he was absolutely stunning, _breathtaking_.

Alec looked at Magnus with so much love and he hoped that Alec could see the same in his own eyes.

He finally sat down and straddled Alec. His hands were immediately on Magnus’ hips, making sure that he wouldn’t fall down. Always remembering to make sure Magnus was safe.

Magnus cupped Alec’s face and sat much closer in his lap. Their faces were inches away from each other and they were breathing each other’s air.

Magnus wanted to cherish this moment for as long as possible. He wanted Alec to hold him as tight as possible. He wanted to forget about the whole world until everything around was only Alec, Alec, Alec. Because in this very moment nothing else mattered.

“I love you so much, Alexander,” he finally said and touched Alec’s forehead with his own. He closed his eyes because that feeling was almost too much but in the best possible way.

“I love you too,” Alec replied and he barely brushed Magnus’ lips when he said those wonderful words.

Magnus opened his eyes and couldn’t stopped grinning. “We’re so sappy,” he chuckled.

“Yeah, we really are,” Alec laughed back and kissed Magnus again, taking him by surprise.

Magnus gasped but kissed back immediately, burying both of his hands in Alec’s hair. He slowly circled his hips. A quiet moan came out of Alec’s mouth and Magnus couldn’t help but grin.

Alec just stared at him. “Is that how you’re gonna play?”

“That’s exactly how I’m gonna play,” Magnus replied with a smirk.

“Okay,” Alec added, smirking himself.

Before Magnus got a chance to reply, Alec brought Magnus even closer to himself so he would get an easier access to Magnus’ neck.

Alec was kissing and licking and sucking and biting and it was oh so wonderful. Magnus could feel the blood going straight to his dick and he had no regrets.

Alec moved on just a little bit and now he was focusing his kisses on Magnus’ Adam’s apple. He was dragging his mouth slowly on Magnus’ already overheated skin, his tongue moving expertly with just a hint of teeth, and it was sending shivers down his whole body. And then he was kissing again and licking and biting. And that just wasn’t fair. Alec knew how sensitive Magnus was there.

Magnus’ hips bucked against his will and that earned him another wonderful moan from Alec.

They were still wearing too many clothes and Magnus really tried to do something about it but Alec wouldn’t stop kissing and Magnus felt like he was about to melt in his arms.

Alec must’ve realized what Magnus was thinking and he put his large hands under Magnus’ hoodie. His long fingers were slowly caressing his skin. Magnus pulled away just a bit so he could look into Alec’s eyes. He needed to read in those beautiful, hazel eyes that they were going to be okay, no matter what.

“What is it?” Alec asked slightly worried.

“Nothing, angel. Just kiss me,” Magnus replied with a smile and Alec’s lips were on his the second he said that.

Alec didn’t have any problems with taking Magnus’ hoodie off, the zipper making it so incredibly easy. His eyes became even bigger and the look on his face would always surprise Magnus because every single time it was as if Alec saw him for the first time. Although, Magnus was pretty sure he had the same expression on his face when he saw Alec shirtless, when he had a chance to admire those glorious muscles.

He worked on the buttons of Alec’s shirt and with every button, he left a kiss on his chest and then his stomach. When he finished, the shirt was thrown on the floor, probably somewhere next to his hoodie, Magnus didn't pay much attention to it because he was on his knees in front of Alec. Alec’s breaths were deep and his chest was moving up and down visibly.

“Come here,” Alec said quietly, almost scared to break the comfortable silence between the two of them.

Magnus stood up and sat in his lap again.

“Are you okay with it?” Magnus finally asked. His hand was cupping Alec’s cheek.

“Yes,” Alec replied without any hint of hesitation. “Are you?” he added.

Magnus gave him a quick peck on the lips. “Of course I am, darling.”

As soon as Magnus said those words, Alec managed to flip them over and now he was on top. His face was so close to Magnus’ and he was smirking.

They were kissing for what seemed to be forever. And it was so easy, Magnus was so happy and they were smiling and giggling into the kisses.

Alec was kissing his jawline and right under Magnus’ earlobe and Magnus was wriggling under him. Alec was pinning him down with his whole body while he continued his ministrations. He bit Magnus’ earlobe and Magnus moaned.

He was kissing Magnus’ neck and Magnus was whimpering, not even trying to hide it because God, it felt so good and his skin felt like it was constantly on fire at this point and he needed more, more, more.

Alec moved on to kissing his arms and Magnus could hear a quiet sound coming out of his mouth.

He was moving slowly. He kissed every single knuckle of Magnus’ hand, no place left untouched. It was as if he was trying to worship every part of Magnus and it was almost too much. Magnus was panting because yes, everything Alec did was taking his breath away but he was also filled with so many emotions, it was just so overwhelming. But he wouldn’t have it any other way.

Suddenly, Alec took one of his fingers into his mouth and sucked on it. Magnus opened his eyes immediately and looked at his boyfriend.

“Alexander,” he moaned his name. He wanted to touch him but couldn’t because Alec was still pinning one of his arms behind his head while he was leaving kisses on the other. So he moved his hips and the look on Alec’s face was the hottest thing Magnus had ever seen in his life.

Alec finally released Magnus’ arms when he moved down to leave even more kisses on his entire body. He was kissing Magnus’ chest, spending a long time on each nipple. Sucking and licking and Magnus was sure that he was about to come just because of that.

Alec raised himself a little bit and Magnus was about to ask why he stopped but then he noticed what Alec was staring at. 

There it was, on the left side of his body. A small scar. A reminder of everything that happened two months ago. A reminder that Magnus had almost died. But he didn’t want to think of it like this. He wore this scar with pride because he had survived. And he didn’t want this scar to remind Alec about the accident, he didn’t want Alec to continue thinking that any of this was because of him.

“Alec,” he whispered. “Are you okay?”

Alec looked back at him and smiled softly. It wasn’t his full smile but it was something. Small steps.

Magnus put his hands on Alec’s hips to tell him that everything was all right, that he didn’t have to think of it anymore, that they would be okay.

Alec’s right hand was shaking just a little bit when he touched Magnus’ scar. It was the most gentle touch, barely there. But Magnus could feel it and this small gesture meant so much to both of them.

Magnus touched Alec’s face and brought him to himself so he could capture his lips again.

Soon Alec went back to leaving kisses on his whole body.

Magnus was wearing sweatpants when he was dancing so taking them off took only seconds. His boxer briefs followed and he was completely naked in front of Alec who was still wearing too many clothes. Magnus needed him naked and pressed firmly against his body right now.

But clearly Alec had other plans.

He admired Magnus’ body for couple of seconds and just that look made Magnus shiver. Everything that was happening felt like something completely new, it had never felt like this before. It wasn’t even the first time with Alec but somehow, this time was so incredibly meaningful because of everything they had been through.

Alec kissed his hipbones and left a hickey on Magnus’ right inner thigh. Magnus could feel him moving up again so he could probably suck him off but that wasn’t what Magnus needed in that moment. He needed to feel Alec inside of him. And if Alec started giving him a blowjob, well, it would end way too soon.

Magnus wasn’t sure how he found strength to even make a move to stop Alec but somehow he did. And before Alec got a chance to start panicking, Magnus kissed him again and bit his lower lip gently.

“Alec, I need you,” he whispered against his lips.

“Magnus, you’ve got me,” Alec responded and Magnus couldn’t help but chuckle.

“That’s not what I meant, darling,” he said in a low voice. “I need to feel you inside of me. _Please,_ ” he added and sealed his request with a long kiss.

Alec trembled a little bit and he blinked before focusing his eyes on Magnus. “Okay,” was the only thing that he said.

He stood up and went into their bedroom. Or at least Magnus thought about it as _their_ bedroom. Technically Alec still had his own apartment. Even if he hadn’t spent any time there at all, he could always go back there when he wanted to. But Magnus didn't want to think about it now, not when they were about to be together in the most intimate way. He only wanted to think about how happy he felt.

It didn’t take Alec long to locate a bottle of lube and a condom. He put the items on the sofa and stood in front of Magnus. His jeans were so low on his hips and when Magnus was sitting, he was faced with the glorious abs of his wonderful boyfriend.

Magnus groaned and put his hand on Alec’s hips. Alec was looking down on him and he was smiling. Magnus left a few kisses on Alec’s abdomen and his hipbones.

He looked up in a silent question for consent and when Alec nodded, Magnus opened the button of his jeans and then moved on to the zipper. Jeans slid down easily and Alec kicked them off and then got rid of his socks.

He was standing in front of Magnus again, only in his boxers and Magnus could notice he was already half hard.

Magnus hooked his thumbs in the waistband of Alec’s underwear and pulled it down slowly. Alec gasped when Magnus left an open mouth kiss on his thigh. He smirked and moved up just a little bit and left another kiss, getting to his goal with every kiss. Finally he took Alec’s dick into his hand at the base and barely brushed it with his lips.

“ _Magnus,_ ” Alec moaned and his fingers found their place in Magnus’ hair easily.

Magnus gave Alec’s dick a slow lick and this time he was the one who moaned. Because he missed this, he missed feeling Alec so close, he missed being with Alec.

He was bobbing his head slowly, he made sure to tease Alec and make Alec forget about everything that wasn't them. Every sound coming out of Alec’s mouth was like a symphony. The most beautiful music that was causing the heat inside of Magnus to burn.

He sped up a little bit, he was licking and sucking around the head and Alec was pulling his hair slightly and he couldn’t really control his hips very well anymore and it felt so good. Magnus could feel how hard he himself already was.

“Magnus, you need to-“ Alec moaned but Magnus didn’t want to stop, he wanted Alec to come.

It didn’t took very long and with one last warning, Alec came hard, screaming Magnus’ name.

Magnus allowed Alec to catch his breath while he was leaving slow kisses on Alec’s abs.

“I thought we had other plans?” Alec finally said.

“Are you complaining?” Magnus replied with a grin.

“Never,” Alec said and bent down to kiss Magnus.

Magnus was sure Alec could still feel himself on his tongue but if he did, Alec definitely wasn’t going to say anything about it.

Alec sat down on the couch and Magnus straddled him immediately. He was kissing Alec’s collarbone while Alec was still coming down from his orgasm.

Alec’s breathing slowed down a bit, and soon after they were kissing again, not able to stay away from each other even for a second. Alec bit Magnus’ lower lip and then moved on to kiss his jaw and his neck, spending some extra time on kissing his Adam’s apple again. Magnus was arching his back but he was still moving his hips in slow circles.

“Let me take care of you now,” Alec whispered against his lips and all Magnus could do was nod.

Alec took the bottle of lube that was still lying on the couch right next to him and poured a generous amount of it on his fingers.

He was stroking Magnus’ dick slowly with his one hand when he reached between his legs with the other one to slowly circle his finger against Magnus’ entrance.

Magnus hid his face in the crook of Alec's neck to muffle the moan. It had been a while since he did that but he knew he needed to feel Alec. Because if he didn’t, he might just simply combust. 

Alec pushed a finger to the first knuckle in and allowed Magnus to adjust to the feeling. Soon, he pushed in the whole finger and God, Alec’s fingers were so long and when he started moving, Magnus was already almost on edge. Alec was moving both of his hands slowly, he was focused on his task like with everything he was doing. He was always aiming for perfection.

While Alec was moving his finger in and out, they were kissing. There was nothing soft or gentle about it anymore but it was what they needed in that moment. Full of passion and love and desire.

“ _More,_ ” Magnus breathed out.

A second later he could feel another finger pushing in. Alec was stretching him open, scissoring his fingers, preparing him for what was about to come next.

At first Alec’s movements were shallow, as if he didn’t want to hurt Magnus. But when he changed the angle just slightly, he finally reached Magnus’ prostate. And oh God, did it feel good. Magnus was moving his hips so Alec could reach even deeper and drive him mad.

“Fuck, Alec!” he screamed his name when Alec brushed against his prostate once again.

Soon a third finger joined and it stung for a couple of seconds but the pleasure was even more overwhelming. He was so close but he didn’t want to finish like this.

“I’m ready,” Magnus finally said and gave Alec a quick peck on the lips.

Alec took the condom but Magnus stopped his hand. “I want to feel _all_ of you," he said. "If you want to,” he added while looking into Alec’s eyes, waiting for a reaction.

“Oh God, Magnus,” Alec moaned.

Magnus took that as a yes.

He took the lube from the couch and put some of it on Alec’s already hard dick and then guided it into his entrance. He lowered himself slowly until he bottomed out.

The feeling of Alec filling him like this was absolutely mind-blowing. It wasn’t just a physical feeling, it was also about how much they both trusted each other. It was something special that Magnus had never felt in his life before.

Alec’s hands were on Magnus’ hips and he was observing Magnus’ face, probably searching for any signs of discomfort. But Magnus had never felt better. He moved his hips once and Alec whimpered.

“You feel so good,” Alec breathed out while wrapping his arms around Magnus.

They were moving slowly because they wanted to savour this moment. There was no need to be in a hurry, only making sure to show and feel love.

Being in control like this gave Magnus a lot of satisfaction and Alec was so hot, his eyes half closed, his mouth open, finally allowing himself to feel pleasure.

Magnus cupped his cheek and their mouths were only inches from each other, they were breathing each other’s air, not even kissing because they were too gone at this point.

Magnus was aware that his movements were starting to get erratic, he was shaky and he could feel the orgasm building inside of him. Suddenly, Alec grabbed him tightly and flipped them over so he could be on top. Alec picked up the pace and he was thrusting deeper and deeper every time, and both of them were groaning and panting, and Magnus was trying to meet Alec’s thrusts half way. He could feel that he was on the brink of coming. He arched his back and then tried to kiss Alec but it was too difficult, the pleasure was taking him over completely.

“Magnus, I’m so close,” Alec breathed out. His eyes were shut, the droplets of sweat on his face, his neck, his chest.

He took Magnus’ dick in his hand and now Magnus was stimulated on both sides and he couldn’t hold it anymore so he finally came, spilling on Alec’s hand and their stomachs. Alec followed him only couple of seconds later and Magnus could feel all of Alec inside of him.

Alec dropped on his chest and they were both trying to catch a breath. Alec’s head was in the crook of Magnus’ neck and he was drawing small circle on the oversensitive skin of Magnus’ chest. 

They stayed like this for a while, Magnus didn’t mind Alec’s weight on him. In fact, he welcomed it. Being like this, it felt safe, Alec trying to shield him from the whole world, even when he didn’t have to. But because he wanted to, Magnus loved him more and more with every minute of being together and he doubted there was a limit for his love.

Finally, Alec moved slowly and stood up. Magnus whined at the lack of contact and Alec smiled at him and kissed him.

“We should clean ourselves,” he said.

Magnus supposed he was right, even if he really didn’t want to move.

He gave Alec a hand so he could help him stood up. Alec chuckled and when he took Magnus’ hand in his own, he brought him to himself so their chests were touching. He wrapped his arms around Magnus’ neck and kissed him again. It was a playful kiss, a mix of lips and tongue and laughs in between.

They finally reached the bathroom and Alec prepared a bath for them. He added Magnus’ favourite bubble bath and then walked into the water carefully. Magnus followed behind him and leaned on Alec’s broad chest.

Alec was leaving lazy kisses on his cheek and neck and wherever he could reach from this angle. Magnus was completely relaxed and before he could even think before speaking, the question was out.

“Should we make this official?”

Suddenly he opened his eyes when he realized how it sounded.

Alec stopped kissing him and Magnus could feel some tension creeping inside both of them.

“Magnus?” Alec managed to finally break the silence. His voice was slightly higher than normally.

Magnus turned around as much as he could just so he could look at Alec. “God, I don’t mean _that_. Please, don’t freak out,” he said and lowered his head a little bit.

Alec was still staring at him. He cleared his throat. “What- what do you mean then?” he stuttered out.

“I mean- I mean this. Us. Living together.”

Alec blinked and Magnus was trying to read the reaction on his face, he tried to guess what was going on in that beautiful head of his.

“I-“

“We kind of already do live together, darling,” Magnus interrupted him. “And I know you still have your apartment but you haven’t been there in like at least a month. Also Jace basically moved in there so he could keep an eye on Max. And you can totally say no and- God, why am I still talking?” Magnus said all of this in the same breath so now he was breathing hard as if he ran a marathon.

Alec cupped Magnus’ cheek and looked into his eyes. “You didn’t let me finish. I would love to,” he said quietly.

“You would?” Magnus was surprised how insecure his voice sounded.

“Of course I would. I’ve been thinking about it for such a long time but I was too scared to ask after everything that happened.”

Magnus laughed softly. “I’ve been thinking about it for such a long time too,” he added.

“So are we really doing it?” Alec hugged him tighter and Magnus put his hands on Alec’s forearms.

“We are really doing this.”

 

They were lying in their bed. Finally Magnus could call it officially _their_ bed. In _their_ bedroom and could anything sound better?

“We need to celebrate it!” Magnus announced. “A party in Pandemonium, definitely,” he was almost jumping on the bed because of the excitement.

“The party would have to wait, I’m afraid,” Alec was clearly amused with Magnus’ behaviour. “Jace is still in Denver with Luke. Izzy and Lydia are in the middle of the project… We can’t celebrate without our family and friends.”

Magnus felt another warm feeling inside of him when Alec used the word 'our.'

“Good point, we do need them,” Magnus laughed again and lied down, putting his head on Alec’s chest.

Alec immediately wrapped his arm around him.

“Can you believe this is _our_ home?” Magnus asked.

“It feels like it has always been _our_ home,” Alec replied. “I love you.”

“I love you too, Alexander.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this was so so sappy but i have no regrets, i want them to be happy forever :D
> 
> again, thanks for reading!  
> and i hope you'll stay for part 2 and 3 :)
> 
> love you <3
> 
> disclaimer: this wasn't beta'd by anyone so all mistakes are mine. my english is good but it's still not my native language so i will make mistakes even when i try my hardest. so i'm happy to correct those mistakes :)


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